#tranxene

Done nothing but doze in bed all day after one (failed, since they still didn't have it) attempt to pick up more meds at the pharmacy, so maaaaybe jumping right in to a whole Tranxene every evening was too much.  I really don't like the idea of daily benzos at all.  I know I need something; I kept pushing for anxiety meds because it's only been getting worse lately, and the few days I've taken this I've felt better, but taking shorter acting ones PRN was so much less scary in terms of never having to worry about dose escalation or dependence or withdrawal.  It does seem smarter to be proactive and prevent the anxiety rather than react and pop a Xanax afterwards (though I think that was what I was supposed to be doing with the Xanax anyway oops), but if the tradeoff is them tranq-ing me out. . . .  I was able to get up and go work on my car and fight it off (with abusive caffeine assistance) yesterday, but I was out and moving and doing physical labor.  On my computer and doing brainwork, not as easy to resist putting the computer aside and going for nap number four of the day. The problem is that I only have so much leeway with this idiot doctor, and I was planning on using my ~fight back collateral to give him a piece of my fucking mind at how he, after we were out the door of his office this last time and two steps away from the reception desk, said "oh, and I'm not so sure your mood is quite where I'd like it to be [I'd copped to feeling bad that week, but I'd also explained that I was pretty sure it was situational, as money issues and tooth issues and school issues]; so we're going to add some Trileptal."  No discussion, no forewarning, no more explanation beyond the name, the appointment was over, this was a fucking afterthought that he even mentioned it to me, and he expects me to take it? Um, no.  That is not okay in any sense of the patient/doctor relationship I want to have with someone taking a massive chunk of my money every month, and I want to make sure he goddamned knows that. But I also want to not piss him off and work on getting shorter-acting benzos.  Because I just don't think the risk/benefit analysis quite works out in favor of taking this Tranxene.

Everyone on a benzodiazepine medication; xanax, klonopil, flexeril, valium, diazepam, tramadol, blah... for any dissorder, not for getting high, should try clorazepate dipottasium, it's a benzodiazepine as well but it doesn't create addiction (Tranxene as a commercial brand). Does wonders and you can take it whenever you are feeling anxious, you don't have to complete a treatment, it's so noble. Works great but it is a little bit more expensive (at least here in Mexico). Worth it tho'