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Lance was an innate caretaker. A giver, if anything. He always wanted to give people what they wanted and what they needed. He was always eager to help with any task.
Naturally, once Keith and him started dating, Keith quickly found out Lance was a bit of a giver in many ways. Like, in the bedroom. And sure, it was amazing, but it was also driving him a little crazy.
If Lance was innately a giver, then that made Keith the taker. Keith had underestimated how much of a “taker” he was.
Mighttt post this on ao3 after some more editing but here’s a little gender fic cuz I <3 trans ppl and klance
(1.6k words)
"Do you think I look like a girl?" Keith grabbed a piece of his hair, showing specifically what he was referring to. "My hair, do you think it makes me look like a girl?"
Lance sat next to him. They were in Keith's room at the Garrison, on his bed. Keith wasn't meeting his eye, but Lance was watching him intently, more than he usually did. "No," he responded simply, only wondering a little where this had come from. "I know I tease you for it but, I mean, I don't actually hate it. And it definitely doesn't make you look feminine. You're, like, one of the most manly men I know, Keith." He was being genuine, Keith could tell. The man finally met the others eye, something vulnerable and unspoken in his expression.
Lance continued. "You are so strong and manly and handsome and any other adjectives that can be used for a man. I promise you that, Keith. I will never and have never viewed you as anything but a man, which is what you are." He put a hand on Keith's shoulder. It was grounding, reassuring.
Keith looked away from Lance despite the fact, letting out a sigh. "Shiro told you, didn't he?" He asked, curling in on himself. He assumed they would have this conversation at some point.
"No, no, I-" Lance paused, and his hand slid off Keith's shoulder. Keith instantly missed the contact, but he didn't protest. "I, um, accidentally eavesdropped on you two a while ago. I swear it wasn't intentional but, well, I'm sorry anyway. I shouldn't have. It's none of my business," he said, feeling shame rise in him. He'd been sneaking to the kitchen one night for a midnight snack when he'd seen Shiro and Keith talking in the hallway. He hadn't heard the full conversation, but he'd definitely remembered the part where Keith had swore his chest didn't hurt and Shiro needed to stop worrying and Lance had wondered, now why would that be? Why would Keith's chest hurt? And then he'd heard Shiro tell him he needed to unbind more often and. Huh. Was Keith…?
Lance didn't think it was that important, his teammate being trans. To be fair, there was already something going on with Pidge's gender (he wasn't quite sure what it was, and he didn't think Pidge knew either). Lance had just….tucked the information away for later.
Now was later, apparently.
"I just want you to know that you are valid and I support you, obviously," Lance said, somewhat awkwardly.
"Oh," Keith replied, processing everything Lance was saying. The red paladin often spoke too fast for Keith to catch up with. "Well. Okay. I guess that saves me the stress of having to tell you. I'm trans, there it is. That's it."
The room was quiet for a while, and it was hard to tell if it was a comfortable silence or not. Keith was thinking about how long Lance must have known, what he'd thought at first, if his opinion on Keith had changed. Meanwhile Lance's brain was going 100 miles a second, wondering if having a confession of his own would seem insensitive to the situation or make Keith more comfortable.
In the end, he decided to just blurt it out. As he did with most things.
"You're much more of a man than I am, for the record." Well, that would definitely get the point across, huh? Great going, Lance…
Keith looked at him and tilted his head, confused. "What do you mean? You're a man." He averted his gaze for half a second, thinking. "You're a man, right?"
Lance shrugged. "Sometimes." God, he was bad at explaining. He cleared his throat and pushed back his hair nervously. "I'm, uh, genderfluid. So like today I'm…I'm a guy today. But maybe not tomorrow, or the day after that…you get the point. Sometimes I'm a girl, or a boy, or something in between, or nothing, or everything." Lance felt like he was rambling. He was definitely rambling, and talking too fast. His foot was bouncing up and down and his hands were fidgeting. It was the first time he'd said it out loud, let alone told someone. It was extremely nerve racking, but it wasn't like he could go back now.
He wasn't sure what he was expecting to see when his gaze met Keith's again, but a smile certainly wasn't it. A soft, kind smile, something that seemed almost unnatural on Keith's face, yet so perfect and warm and Lance never wanted to see that face without a smile ever again. "You are?" Keith asked, and Lance nodded and tried to give a yes, but the word got stuck in his throat. "Thank you for telling me, Lance. Does anyone else know?" Keith put a hand over Lance's on his thigh, stopping the nervous fidgeting. Lance was sure he couldn't speak at all now, so he just shook his head.
He could feel that tingle in his throat, could feel the burn in his eyes, and he wasn't even completely sure why. This shouldn't be about him, this was about Keith, and making sure he knew Lance respected him. But now that he'd told Keith…and now Keith knew, the first person to know…and, god, he was going to sob like a baby.
Lance bit his lip and swallowed the lump in his throat, and by the look he was most definitely giving Keith, the other probably 100% knew what was about to happen. The black paladin pulled Lance into a hug, and like all of Keith's hugs were, it was warm and safe and the perfect amount of tightness to make someone feel like nothing would ever be able to hurt them again. For a loner, it was surprising how Keith hugged like he'd been doing it everyday of his life. Lance buried his face against the man's shoulder and let go, allowing the first tears to fall.
Sobs wracked through him, tears stained Keith's shirt. This was all so new to Lance; he'd only really started exploring his gender identity a few months ago, and it was just odd, identifying as a man your whole life then realizing that it was a lot more complicated than that. That it wasn't "normal" for a man to want to dress up and wear makeup one day then be as masculine as possible the next. That he wanted to be considered pretty and handsome and sometimes whatever was in between the two. That he was an oddity, and sometimes maybe "he" didn't feel right. Sometimes she was an oddity, or they. But either way, Lance wasn't just a guy, like he'd previously believed.
Everything was okay, though, in Keith's arms. A hand was running through his hair and soft words that he could barely make out through his loud sobs were being whispered in his ear. And he was okay, he was safe.
"Yeah, it's alright…just cry it out. I've gotcha, it's okay. You're okay. You're loved and valid, Lance. You always will be. Just let it out…" Keith murmured, over and over again, rocking them back and forth slowly.
It was a while before Lance stopped sobbing, before he finally calmed down. He hadn't realized how much water was behind his dam until it had broken. Now, though, it was a weight off his chest, and he felt so much better.
His breathing was shaky and uneven and he still gripped on to Keith like a lifeline, and Keith was more than happy to hold him in return.
"You're okay," Keith said. "I know it's scary, but you're okay." His voice was softer than Lance had ever heard it before.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start crying. I just…I don't know, this is a lot," Lance whispered.
"Don't apologize for crying. You're allowed to cry, especially over something like coming out. I understand." And Lance knew Keith did understand. He wasn't just saying that to comfort Lance, he really, truly did get what he was going through.
Lance hadn't cried the first time he had came out, but now that he was thinking back to it, he hadn't felt great afterwards, either. His family was supportive of him being bisexual, but they just hadn't made a big deal about it. Which was fine, but at the time it just felt like such a huge deal, so having a room full of people who care about you simply shrug at the fact you like boys just felt…not as accepting as it could've been. Then again, it could've gone a lot worse, so maybe he should just be grateful.
It's certainly could've gone a lot better, too.
His train of thought was cut off when Keith spoke again. "So, do you use all pronouns?" He asked gently, his voice still quiet as if Lance was a fragile porcelain doll that would shatter if he spoke to loud.
"Um- yeah, I think that sounds good." He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought kinda a lot about pronouns and junk. And on his feminine days, it felt like a tiny needle was sticking into him every time someone used "he" or "him" to refer to him. Not enough to cause any lasting pain, just enough to not feel right. "Yeah. All pronouns. Today is he/him, for sure."
"Okay. Do you want to tell the other paladins?" Keith asked, and Lance didn't know how to respond. Maybe, eventually, probably soon, but not yet. He just couldn't do it yet, so he shook his head lightly.
"I will eventually, but right now I'd prefer if only you knew. I don't want it to be a huge thing just yet, I still need to figure some things out I think," Lance decided, finally lifting his head from Keith's shoulder and meeting the man's eye.
Keith nodded. "Okay, that's fine. Just tell me when you're ready, I can be by your side."
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i hc keith as trans and i tend to forget it's not canon, so every time i read something where i see him written as cis i always get a little scared, it's funny
