Trans Hate
I just want to be a woman.
I wish I had been born cis, I love being a girl but I hate being trans, I hate that my body produces testosterone, I hate that I lost my voice, I hate how masculine my face is, I hate having a dick.
I find so, so much joy in the moments when I forget where I came from, when all that I can see are the parts of me that have changed, the parts of me which I adore and that reflect who I've been all along, hidden away inside of my turtle shell, and in those moments I feel so light I could fly. And then I remember everything, and my heart sinks back down into the core of the Earth.
I have so much hate in my heart.
I don't want to give myself injections for the rest of my life and I don't want to go through painful surgeries but I want the alternative even less. I can't live with the alternative.
I am so scared of everything I am going to have to do to myself and go through and risk to just be happy. Or just content, or just okay, or just myself.
And I would rather die than be a man.
"Trans joy," how about trans shut the fuck up?!
God.
