#toxicistoxic

It’s a waste of time and energy trying to reason with unreasonable people. Pour that energy into yourself and your healing journey instead. Even if the narc lives with you and it currently feels like a hopeless situation, you can still engage less. Yes it’s easier said than done. Yes the narcissist will probably get mad and lash out when they notice you engaging less. But also, YES anything the narcissist says to you is calculated to incite a reaction out of you. They get a little kick out of your reaction. Being aware of how you react and making a conscious effort to not react while you’re talking to the narcissist is how you begin to take your power back. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t become the grey rock champion overnight. None of this is ever an overnight process. It’s all about baby steps one day at a time. This is where doing the emotional work comes in handy - processing your emotions (away from the narcissist) can actually help you to not react emotionally to them. Want a little taste of doing the inner work? Grab my free rage journaling guide at the link in my bio! Want to take your healing journey up a notch and join a safe community for survivors to connect, get access to my best courses, attend live events, and have a safe place to share or vent what you’re going through and share your wins? Then I invite you to join my community membership! The best part is it’s super affordable, you can get started for less than $1/day! Click the link in my profile to learn more. (Disclaimer: inner work won’t help you if the narc gets physically violent. If that happens or seems like it might happen, an Instagram post is not going to help you, get yourself to safety asap and get authorities involved! Your physical safety is always # 1!) #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuseexpert #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad https://www.instagram.com/p/CpDuZjaONJE/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Pro tip: you literally have no obligation to BELIEVE what the narcissist is saying to you. Here are 3 steps to ground yourself back to reality that they’re completely full of shit if you’re struggling to stop believing them: 1️⃣ Take a deep breath - I know this is cliché but seriously pause and take a deep breath, or 10. 2️⃣ Remember what you already know about narcissists. They’re only concerned with themselves and how they feel - and they resort to manipulating people into believing they’re amazing and then once they have them where they want them, they making their targets jump through hoops to receive basic human decency and respect. Is this someone who seems to be trustworthy? No? Exactly. So whatever they’re trying to make you believe about yourself is bullshit. They just want you to react. There’s nothing wrong with you, and just because someone who’s so insecure about themselves thinks it’s fun to fuck with people like this, it doesn’t make whatever they’re saying true. 3️⃣ Check in with how you feel. Journal it out, sit with the feeling, and release the feeling. This will help you to stop giving a shit. (Or you can keep repressing the feeling and be exhausted caring about what the narc is saying). Processing your emotions is a day by day thing and you can’t expect to master this overnight, but one day at a time is a really great start. Was this helpful? If so save this post for the future if you ever find yourself gaslighting yourself into believing the shit this person is saying about you! Looking to take your healing journey a step further? Check out the link in my bio for options! #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad #narcissist #narcissisticabusesurvivor #hiddenabuse #gaslighting #narcissistawareness #toxicrelationships #manipulators #emotionalvampires #emotionaldamage #smearcampaign #verbalabuse #covertnarcissist #narcopath https://www.instagram.com/p/CphvP5uOL2m/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

A study was published in 2020 on nature.com that humans have an average of over 6000 thoughts per day. There isn’t enough time in the day to take each thought seriously, so realistically speaking, the majority of those 6000 thoughts are irrelevant. Over my own life experience, I’ve observed that reality is always reality, and the world also continues to spin regardless of how many or what type of thoughts I have. The same has been true about the narcissists I’ve dealt with throughout my life and their many thoughts. I can even say the same thing about all the clients I’ve worked with over the years and the narcissists they’ve had to deal with in their lives. Regardless of the number and types of thoughts we all collectively had, thoughts didn’t change the reality, and the world continued to spin. Narcissists will have their opinions, and their opinions will be whatever they think will trigger you into an emotional reaction so they can get supply and feel all powerful and in control over you. They create this power dynamic so you start believing what they say is relevant, and that gives them even more of a sense of power and control over you. When you see their bs for what it is, and how irrelevant their end goal is, and how their end goal is at the detriment of your sense of self, it puts things into perspective. You don’t have to feel like the worst person in the world because the narcissist is having a tantrum over not having control over you. (But they won’t tell you that cause then you’d know how irrelevant they are!) #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad #narcissist #narcissisticabusesurvivor #hiddenabuse #gaslighting #narcissistawareness #toxicrelationships #manipulators #emotionalvampires #emotionaldamage #smearcampaign #verbalabuse #covertnarcissist #narcopath https://www.instagram.com/p/CmGwNXRsOnd/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Whatever the issue at hand is, the outcome of the “civilized conversation” will be one of or a mixture of the following: - You’re even more confused than before - It’s all your fault because you did this random thing that has never been an issue before but now it is because they need to find something to make it your fault - They’re “sorry and promise they’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you they’re serious about working things out” (this is just to buy time, which you’ll become aware of when you realize they haven’t done anything and their words were spoken just to buy more time) - They tell you whatever combination of words they know you want to hear but their actions in the near future tell a different story - Circular arguments that lead to no resolution - Exhaustion from the energy that was wasted engaging with this person - You continuing to believe the issue is you and it’s all on you to “fix” things The most important thing you need to understand when you’re dealing with a narcissist: anything they say and do is designed to get a reaction out of you. They are not thinking the same way you’re thinking. You’re committed to a resolution, they’re committed to chaos. When you look at things with the awareness that the narcissist is literally on a mission to cause, create, and continue the chaos - you begin to plant the seeds of allocating your energy accordingly. One day at a time, baby steps, you got this! #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuseexpert #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness https://www.instagram.com/p/Cln2ruiPSsX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Instead of wasting time justifying that it’s somehow okay for someone to treat you badly if they’re just an asshole and not a narcissist, pour that time and effort into yourself and your healing process. You don’t have to differentiate the shitty people in your life to justify prioritizing your emotional and mental health. 🚨🚨🚨🚨Want to learn how? Then I have exciting news! On March 28 at 2:00 pm EST, I’ll be hosting a FREE live webinar on creating your own closure after narcissistic abuse without gaslighting yourself. Head over to the link in my bio to register! #Narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticabuse #narcissistfree #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #mentalabuse #toxicistoxic #toxicpeople #gaslightingawareness #darktriad #narcissist #narcissisticabusesurvivor #hiddenabuse #gaslighting #narcissistawareness #toxicrelationships #manipulators #emotionalvampires #emotionaldamage #smearcampaign #verbalabuse #covertnarcissist #narcopath https://www.instagram.com/p/CpvvWC4u3s9/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

fax #toxicfamily #toxicistoxic #latinx https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbpmyo8rNXm/?utm_medium=tumblr

#healthyboundaries #loveyourself #youareenough #breakthecycle #toxicistoxic #familyisntalwaysblood #investinyourself #2020istheyear https://www.instagram.com/p/B6z2P8OAsXa/?igshid=r7i6wvguuty2

Sometimes leaving is best choice. #ToxicIsToxic https://www.instagram.com/p/B5OWfUzBpcW/?igshid=11cdhobmuix4w