#touhideken

“Pretty much.”, Hide lie down on his back, waving his hands up in the air, making weird noises to keep himself from dying out of boredom. They come over to Touka place to help her out with her homework—Kaneki were and Hide is more of a nuisance that couldn’t stop whining until Kaneki bring him along. Touka pretty much doesn’t really care as long as she can get her work done.

Touka stood up from the couch and closed the sliding door—the breeze is too cold. Just then, a loud thunder shakes the sky and Touka yelp, closing her ears in an instant, “Touka-chan, are you okay?”, Hide quickly rose up and walk over to her with Kaneki standing behind them.

“Yeah—I’m fine. Just a bit surprise.”, her body is trembling but she manage to cover her fear—not wanting to appear weak in front of them. Touka was about to walk back to her sit and notice the two boys standing behind him, “Why are you two standing up?”

“No—I thought something happened to you.”, Hide explained, giving her his bright smile.

“I was just closing the door—“

“Better be safe than sorry, right?”, Kaneki said with a smile and Hide gives him a thumbs up.

What’s up with these two?

“Yeah—whatever. Come on, help me finishes this up.”

They continue their tutor session with Hide sometimes disturb their studies for attention. A loud thunder thumps and Touka almost threw her pencil away—Shit—

“Touka-chan—“

Her body is trembling and when another thunder strikes, Touka clinging next to Kaneki without realizing it, “Damn it—I hate this—“

“Touka-chan—are you scared of thunder?”

“What?”, her face flush and quickly shove Kaneki away, “N—no, I’m not—I just—Ah!”, Touka cover her ears again and tears already at the brink of her eyes, “God—I really hate this.”

Hide snort and both of them end up laughing, leaving her flush red, “D—don’t laugh! Shut up!”

“You should just say so.”

“It’s not like we’re going to make fun of you.”, Touka pout, “I—I know that.”

They stay in silent—Touka clearly can’t focus on her studies now, sighing. Kaneki exchange glances with Hide and give each other a meaningful smile.

Kaneki scoot closer to her while Hide grab a blanket for the three of them, “What are you doing?”, she asked when Hide sit next to her and drapes the blanket around them—with Touka sitting in the middle between them, “It’s really cold and I think we need a break from all of those books.”

Red blush spread across her cheek when they sandwiches her in the middle, making sure she stays warm and wraps their arms around her. Touka couldn’t hold back her laughter, “You’re a dork.”

chapter 6 | again

“It's... been a while."

He doesn't have any idea that it was her. She looked very different from behind.

Maybe it was because of the years that passed. Of course, there would be significant changes, but it kind of bugged him that he didn't recognize her.

Well, who wouldn't? Her hair was darker, and longer (it's almost reaching her waist already). She dressed very differently, as opposed to what she used to wear when she was in high school. It seems so... lady-like. Her expression is much calmer, and mature. Her eyes were somehow kind of solemn. She looks at him with startled eyes.

Touka narrows her eyes. “What’re you standing there for? You want to sit, right?” She tries hard to suppress her emotions, and thankfully, she calms down. Sasaki sits down on the swing next to her. He eyes her carefully once more, taking her appearance in of himself.

Sasaki purses his lips, unsure of the words he plans to say. She just came back all of a sudden, and it astonished him. It was a very long time since he’s last seen her. And now she’s here.

“It’s been a while,” she takes the initiative to speak, and there seems to be an edge to her voice.

“I-indeed,” he replies, still surprised by the fact that she’s beside him. He glances at her once again, and instantly remembers his late wife. How it happened that he married someone that looks like her—he doesn’t know. He was just attracted to his wife. Somehow, it pierces his heart that it seems like he was… longing for her unconsciously.

“How are you doing, To—I mean, Kirishima-san?” he just felt the need to not call her by her name. He feels that she somehow wouldn’t like it.

Touka starts to speak. “I’m doing fine, Sasaki,” she doesn’t look at him. Her eyes are looking anywhere but his eyes.

He somehow feels he wants her to call him by his original name. But that wouldn’t be fair to Hide-san, would it?

Sasaki starts to feel comfortable. He smiles. “That’s good. I really haven’t seen you all these years. Have you gone somewhere?”

“I did,” she replies. “I thought that the things that… happened were too much for me. I needed a breather and I thought that staying in this city wouldn’t help me calm down.” She looks at her lap and clutches her dress.

He chuckles a little. “That’s a really long breather, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she smiles, getting more comfortable. She breathes a sigh of relief. “Since I was already at a good place, I decided to continue studying there. I’m working as a teacher now.”

“Oh, that’s really good,” he comments. Touka doesn’t reply and looks away instead. He does so, too and they just sit there idly, silently, not talking to each other. Touka decides to break the silence.

“I see you have a family,” she says. Though not comfortable with asking him about it, she still dared to.

He scratches his head. “Ah, yes. Actually, I came here because Ken told me about you.”

Touka’s face flushes. She averts her gaze farther from his view to hide her expression. She doesn’t expect to hear him say that.

“Kirishima-san,” Sasaki says. “You know… he seems very fond of you.”

Touka agrees with him in her head. The kid is just so lively and kind to her. She looks at the kids playing in the garden and smiles. “He’s a very kind person. You really raised him well.”

Sasaki glances at her, his eyes glinting with happiness. He notices her looking at Ken and smiles. “Well, my wife did a great job at raising him. And of course I helped too, you know. I just don’t want him to experience the same childhood as I did.”

His mention of that makes Touka look at him. Her eyes fill with sorrow. “I heard about your wife. I’m sorry about her.”

He laughs softly, surprising her a little bit. “Ah, it’s okay. I’m sad about her. She wasn’t very strong and she was so sickly,” he says, chuckling. “But I loved her so much. Ken doesn’t seem aware of it yet, but I want to make him understand.”

Touka’s heart tightened. His expression looks so sad. She feels bad bringing up about his wife. “He’s a smart boy, so I’m sure he’ll know after a while. Seems like you’re still missing her, huh?” she forces a smile so as to make him do the same as well.

His eyes seem to tear up a little bit. “Yeah, I still do. It’s only been 9 months since she was gone, but it feels like it’s been ages.”

Touka moves her sit a little bit, making her swing move briefly. “She’s in a better place now. I’m sure your wife was very beautiful and kind.”

Sasaki looks at her, matter-of-factly, and then smiles. “Yeah…” his voice is soft, but sounds so emotionally. He looks at her more closely, tilting his head a little bit to see more of her face. “You know… you look a lot like her.”

For some reason, Touka’s cheeks burn. What? her mind is completely blank.

He smiles wider, and rests his elbows on his legs, looking far. “Or probably it’s the other way around. She’s the one that looks like you.”

W-what? Touka’s mind is a mess, and she couldn’t even open her mouth to speak. She was just feeling comfortable just now—and she curses him for making her feel nervous again. She looks away, feeling her heart beating faster.

Sasaki takes notice of her, and immediately apologizes. “Ah, I’m sorry. I just got carried away,” he says, waving his hands.

She turns her head back a little bit. “D-Don’t say something like that again…”

He laughs wholeheartedly, amused by her shyness. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable,” he says, smiling. “It’s really the truth, though… I feel like she’s alive again every second I see you.”

She feels a spark of electricity through her body, and blushes nervously at his statement. Touka feels more embarrassed after noticing his keen staring and his bright smile. Still, she tries hard not to get obvious despite knowing that it wouldn’t work. She knows that he will notice immediately.

“Say, Kirishima-san…” he says, looking away again. “Have you ever thought of tying the knot?”

His question catches her off-guard and she almost feels like falling down her seat. However, his question didn’t make her feel awkward—in fact, she finds it funny. She doesn’t have a clue why, but she suddenly laughs.

Confusion forms on Sasaki’s face. “Kirishima-san?”

Touka holds her stomach as she tries to control her mirth. “Tying the knot? Like hell I have someone to tie the knot with in the first place!” She continues laughing uncontrollably, but suddenly feels confused as she feels the fluxing of her emotions within. Her laughter continues until she feels her eyes sting with tears. She’s glad she is laughing. That way, the real reason for her tears remains hidden.

Eventually, her laughter subsides, and finally comes to a halt. She wipes her tears with her fingers. “I’m sorry; I was surprised with your question. I think I laughed way too much.”

Despite her happy mood, she feels much heavier deep inside.

“Are you okay, Kirishima-san?” Sasaki finally asks, smiling, but he seems nervous.

“I am.”

“I didn’t know my question sounded funny to you,” he says. “But really, haven’t you ever thought of it?”

Touka finally calms down and takes his question all in. She looks into distance and rests her chin on her palm. “To be honest, I haven’t thought about it all these years. I guess I was too immersed on my freedom. Most of my life, I haven’t been free in doing the things I wanted to do.”

“Is that so?” Sasaki says. “It’s really a long time, you know. We’re adults now, so being married isn’t weird.”

Touka blushes furiously at his statement, and he immediately realizes that she took it the wrong way.

“I m-mean, being married at our age is common! I don’t m-mean it like t-the way you think it is! What I mean by we’re is—”

“I get it,” Touka breathes deeply, her flushed face remains. “I know what you meant by it. Anyway, I don’t know yet. I haven’t even been in a relationship before. Maybe I’ll just let it come to me.”

Sasaki purses his lips. He was about to ask her something again when someone startles both of them.

“Finally found you two!” Hide jumps in between them, making Touka and Sasaki jump in their seats. Hide notices their expressions and upon realizing what they possibly had been talking about, immediately feels bad for ruining their mood. “Ah, I’m sorry. I think I disturbed you.”

“Not at all, Hide-san!” Sasaki assures him. He stands up and smoothes his coat. “It’s okay. I’ll just get Ken and be on my way.”

“Oh, you don’t want to talk with Touka-chan more?” Hide asks him.

He shakes his head and smiles. “It’s okay. I’ve bothered you enough,” Sasaki says, and bows at them. “Thanks for the time.”

“Come more often, okay, Kaneki?” he says cheerfully. Touka’s shoulders jerk up and he notices it. Did Kaneki just looked uncomfortable just now or is it only me?

“I will,” Sasaki says, and leaves, walking towards the kids playing in the distance.

Hide turns to Touka. “Are you okay, Touka-chan?” he asks her, smiling.

She smiles back at him. “Yeah, I am.”

chapter 5 | meeting

He didn't see it coming.

Actually, no one saw it coming. He just appeared all of a sudden.

It was the first time he came without notice. And Hide knew that it wasn't a good thing.

Probably. He still doesn't know if Touka is still nervous about seeing him. Well, it's clear in her eyes. It was very obvious. He wondered why he came without notice in the first place.

As usual, he greeted him cheerfully.

"Kaneki, you didn't even tell us you were going to come,” he greets, walking to him.

He was still wearing his uniform. He smiles with a little worry in his face, and scratches his head.

"I'm sorry for coming unannounced," he apologizes profusely. "Did I disturb something?”

"Not really," he replies. "We have finished all of our activities for now so don't worry. Do you have any particular reason for coming here?"

Kaneki makes an expression Hide can't make out. Perhaps his question sounded wrong. He gets flustered and immediately speaks up.

"Ah, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that it's really surprising that you come here unannounced. I was just a little surprised."

"No, it's okay," he says, smiling. His son notices his arrival and quickly runs towards him. Kaneki catches him and carries him in his arms. They chat for a little while, and after a few minutes, Ken leaves them to play with the other kids. Kaneki talks to him again.

"Thank you so much for looking after him," he tells him.

"That's no problem. Always here to help, Kaneki."

He chuckles, and averts his gaze. There's something glinting in his eyes, as if he wants to ask him something.

"Hide-san, I told you, you can call me by my name, you know."

Hearing him say his name with honorifics in the same voice feels very different to him. It's already been years since they got reunited, but he still calls him with honorifics. He tries convincing him to call him like back then again by calling him "Kaneki", but it seems like that made him more uncomfortable calling him just by name.

He still tries hard.

"But I'm used to it," he chuckles. "And, it IS your name too, you know."

Kaneki purses his lips. He looks around, his eyes distant. He scratches his cheek before talking again.

"Uhm... I heard someone new came."

I knew it, Hide thinks. He wouldn't have come without any reason. Ken probably told him about Touka, considering that the kid is very fond of her.

"Ah, you want to see Touka-chan, don't you?" he says, his mouth stretching to a wide smile.

Kaneki laughs softly. "Not really. I wasn't even sure that she is the person that came here," his hand hovers over his chin.

Wasn't sure, huh, Hide thinks. Well, it wouldn't hurt to let him see her, right? He came a long way after all.

He hopes that it's okay for Touka to see him.

"Well," he starts. "Touka-chan is just right here—"

He turns around, but was surprised not to see Touka anywhere.

"Hm? Where's Touka-chan?" he asks one of his co-workers.

The woman gives a startled expression, obviously struggling with the stack of papers she's holding. "She went to the loo. And she seems to be in a hurry too."

Hide approaches the woman and helps her. She glances at Kaneki. "I'm sorry, Kaneki. I didn't know she left. Maybe you could wait somewhere. I'll just help with this and I'll look for Touka-chan."

"Oh, maybe I can help—"

"Nah, it's okay," Hide assures him, smiling. "You're a guest here, it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

Hide nods.

"Okay then, I'll just go look with Ken. Where do the kids play?"

"Same place just like the last time."

Kaneki thanks him and leaves. Hide hopes Touka feels fine with seeing him.

But he knew she wasn't.

--

What the hell is this?

Touka looms over the restroom sink, contemplating. She didn't expect to see him that instantly.

She splashes herself with water, closes the faucet, and looks at the mirror.

What the hell is up with me? she says to herself. I wanted this, right? Right? So why am I so nervous?

"Okay," she breathes deeply. "I calmed down now."

She wipes her hands dry and leaves the comfort room. She looks around sees a few people wandering the building. Thinking that she needed some air, she decides to go the back garden.

She sits on the swing located at the garden. Touka laces her fingers together and sighs deeply. She hates the stirring emotions inside her.

All things she wasn't expecting happened. She was certain that she would see the people from the past, but what she didn't expect was that she would see them right after she came back. It was that instantly.

She wondered why she is hesitating to see him. Is she afraid of something? What is that something? Why would she be afraid of something?

The noise of the children playing outside snaps her out of her thoughts. She looks up, and sees a kid much livelier than the rest of the playing children. It is Ken. It was then it came to her mind as to why she's hesitating to see him.

"Ah, excuse me, is it okay—"

Someone appeared behind her, and upon turning around, she was met with startled eyes. Hers were surprised as well.

It’s him. Sasaki.

"Kirishima... san?" his voice was soft.

His then-fluffy hair was now short and thin, and it was somehow weird seeing him sporting a sidecut hairstyle. The colors of his hair remain the same, though the white colors are lesser than the black. His build is much more different—he's fitter; lithe. Even now, he's still wearing the standard suit as his uniform.

She remains speechless. She's still nervous, but she was more nervous before—and she doesn't understand why. She's just motionless, sitting on the swing. Her eyes are fixated on his.

She gulps, and gathers her courage to speak.

chapter 4 | ephemeral

Why didn’t he tell me?

Touka was certain about one thing: and that is she was sure the she’ll never meet Ken again. The younger Ken, though. Unfortunately, she’s wrong.

Well, it’s obviously better than meeting the original, she thought.

She promised Hide that she would drop by their foster care centre, and when she did, she never expected to meet Sasaki’s son. And why was his kid there in the first place (it was a foster care centre after all).

“Papa drops me here if I have no school,” he explained to her.

Upon arriving at the centre, she was met with intrigued gazes. Almost all people in the building looked at her—paired with whispering; a few of those were audible. She had no idea she was that popular in the city. She even heard Hide say something about “having a fan club about her” or something along those line but she just shrugged at the idea.

Hide led her to a room to where she enjoyed the time with some ghoul orphans, like playing with them or teaching them stuff. Hide had left her with the children, saying that he was needed at some activity in the centre. And then she saw him. Sasaki’s child.

For some reason, she is at the garden behind the centre, wandering with the kid. It seems that Ken is fond of her, and invited her to the garden.

“Don’t you have any company at home?” she asks the child, looking at him run around the garden.

“No,” he replies, stopping. “Mama is gone, and Papa is always at work so he doesn’t have much time for me. But I like being here.”

The thought of him being alone saddens Touka. To the best of her knowledge, she was told that Sasaki—his past self, to be specific—was orphaned at a young age. And that he lived alone, and Hide was his only true companion, and that’s what led to his innocence and his… unfortunate fate. And that’s what brought her to know him.

To which she somehow wishes that hadn’t happened.

“Don’t you have any relatives or something?” Touka asks, but immediately cups her mouth with her hand. She knows the answer and yet she still asked.

Ken proceeded to pick some flowers. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ask papa.”

Oh, so he hasn’t told him yet, she thinks.

“Do you work here, Touka-onee chan?” he asks.

“Oh, I don’t. Do you know someone called Hideyoshi here?”

“Mmm hmm. Hide-onii chan works here.”

“He’s my friend, and he asked me to come here. To visit the orphans.”

“Oh.”

Touka watches him pick flowers, and she sits down on the grassy ground, hugging her knees. She observes how lively and happy the kid is. It makes her smile.

“Ken,” she calls him.

He looks up. “What is it, Touka-onee chan?”

“Don’t you feel alone?”

“Alone? What does it mean?” the boy tilts his head, wondering.

“Well…” Touka looks up. “It’s when you are left on your own. For example, if you’re in a room and there’s no person but you. Being alone means that when you are on your own, you get a sad feeling, and sometimes you want to be with other people, especially your loved ones.”

Ken averts his gaze. “Hmm… maybe, Touka-onee chan.”

“So, do you?”

“I think so, but most of the time, Papa is with me so I don’t feel like that. But when I think about Mama, I think I feel what you just said.”

“Well, I hope you won’t feel alone too much.”

“Mmmm… what about you, Touka-onee chan?” he looks at her again. “Do you feel alone sometimes?”

His question struck her heart. She hadn’t thought about it for a long time. Well… do I? she thinks.

All the time.

Of course, she couldn’t say that to a child. He would wonder why. Possibly get worried. Though she thinks she doesn’t want to admit it out loud.

“Yes, sometimes,” she replies. “But I have friends or acquiantances, so I don’t really feel alone that much. To be honest, being alone sometimes feel okay.”

Ken scrunches his eyebrows. “Ehhhh… how is that?”

She giggles. “It’s a little hard to explain, you know. Maybe when you get older, you’ll understand.”

“Why is that?”

She smiles at him. “Grown-ups are complicated.”

“Oh, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Hide runs towards Touka and Ken. He stops and breathes.

“Hide-onii chan!” Ken throws himself to him, making Hide step back a little, but he catches him and laughs. Some of the flowers he had picked fall down on the floor.

“Oh, you were in the garden?” Hide asks the boy.

The boy nods. “Touka-onee chan was with me!”

Hide glances at her for a moment, and looks back at him. He ruffles his hair. “Are you sure you haven’t bothered her?”

“Nope!”

He chuckles. “Okay. And you got some nice flowers there, huh? Maybe you can give them to your father?”

“Oh, I will, Hide-onii chan!”

He pats his head. “Okay. Someone’s calling you in the play room so you should go there.”

The boy nods, and sprints towards the corridor until he was out of sight. Hide remains looking at him, and Touka approaches him and clears her throat.

Hide knew exactly what she was thinking.

“Hide-san, why didn’t you tell me that you know his son personally?” she asks him.

Hide smiles nervously, and scratches his cheek. “Well, I thought you’ll guess that I already know him since I told you that I’m keeping contact with Kaneki.”

Touka sighs deeply. Well, why haven’t I thought of that?

“If you’re wondering why he’s here, Kaneki almost always drops him here with Ken doesn’t have any classes. He picks him up here, too.”

“W-What?” and all of a sudden she gets nervous. She steps a back a little, and that gives Hide a silent message that she’s startled.

“Uhm, only sometimes though!” Hide says. “And when he does, he notifies us. Always. And he didn’t, today.”

She breathes a sigh of relief. Touka looks away, hiding her distressed expression. She thought about wanting to see him, but now, it feels like she doesn’t want to. Hide notices her uneasiness.

“Why are you being nervous, Touka-chan?’ he asks her mischievously.

“Huh? I’m not nervous!” she denies, but it’s clear in her face that she is.

Hide crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at her, playfully. Touka leans backward a little, avoiding his gaze.

“W-What?” she asks him.

“Aha! Touka-chan is nervous about seeing Kaneki, I see!” he says, landing his fist on his palm.

She sweats nervously, and tries to convince him. “What? I am n-not! Why would I be nervous?”

Hide laughs. He throws his arm around Touka’s shoulders which makes her jump. “Aw, you really like Kaneki, don’t you? Man, I’m so jealous!”

“What are you saying, Hide-san?! I don’t!”

He pinches Touka’s cheek. “I wish you get nervous when I’m here too!” he laughs more loudly, and she pushes him away.

She rubs her pinched cheek. “Huh? Why would you want that?”

“Well, it’s because I like you, Touka-chan!” he beams.

She smiles. “You’re really good at joking, aren’t you, Hide-san?” she says. “Anyway, I need to leave now. I have to do something. Thanks for the inviting me here.”

“Oh, sure, Touka-chan,” Hide says, calming down. “Thanks for the time.”

“Well, I don’t really have something to do tomorrow, so maybe I can drop by again here?” Touka asks. “I got to admit, it’s really fun being with the kids.”

Hide’s heart jumps in delight. “Oh, great! I was gonna ask if you could come again tomorrow. The others are planning a little teaching session with the kids tomorrow and maybe you could help. Well, you teach, after all.”

“That’s going to be a bit different. Teenagers are very different from toddlers. But it’s still teaching, so I guess I’m going.”

“Great, so, see you tomorrow, then?”

Touka nods. “Yeah, see you.”

The next day was exhausting but fun. Touka had fun meeting Hide’s co-workers and teaching the children. She wasn’t expecting it to be easy, and it seems like it wasn’t the case. She has good impressions of the workers on the centre. All of them were normal, and she was glad she didn’t feel left out during the activity. The kids were lively, with most of them running around and jumping. She wondered how the children remained healthy.

When the activity has calmed down a little, Touka nudges Hide.

“I was wondering…” her voice falters. She feels a little uneasy asking him.

“What is it?” he looks at her.

“Well, I just noticed that the kids are so lively and active. Uhm… and I mean, more lively and active than I was when I was that young. I was thinking that how are they able to remain… like that.”

Hide stares at her, waiting for her to continue.

“Uhm… I was just wondering how they remain healthy. They need to… eat, right?”

Hide smiles, and places his hand gently on her shoulder. “There’s no need to be uncomfortable, Touka-chan.”

And there it is. For some reason, Hide’s touch has been calming her down. She opens her palms and places her fingertips on top of each other.

“I know that there’s a special project the government is running. Humans can sign an agreement that, if ever something happens to them, for example, get sick or something; they can donate their bodies as food for us, right?”

“Yes, that’s right. We get the orphan’s food rations from them, and they sort the food first. So they can give the healthy ones to the kids.”

“As I expect,” Touka says. “I was just wondering how… how do you feed them? Don’t they uncomfortable? The kids, I mean.”

“Oh, they don’t,” he assures her. “Well, during the first years of the establishment, it was a little hard, but they soon got used to it. The new orphans as well.”

One of the workers claps their hands, getting everyone’s attention.

“Okay, everyone. It’s already time. You can pass your activity sheets to us now.”

All of the children stand up. They hand their sheets to the workers, making the room a little messy. Hide taps Touka’s shoulder.

“I’ll be in that part of the room to collect the children’s works. You can give your collected sheets to the worker nearest you, Touka-chan.”

“Okay,” she says, and Hide leaves. She starts collecting the works too, and she sees that Ken participated as well, and he chose to approach her among the workers.

“Touka-onee chan, I had fun with the activity!” he beams at her.

She accepts the paper from him. “Did you learn a lot?”

Ken nods. “Mama also teaches me at home when she was still there. And you really look like her, so I really feel like she’s come back!”

Her heart tightens. He’s still young, and he hasn’t realized that his mother was already gone—permanently. She forces a smile at him.

“You really like her, don’t you?” she smiles at him, ruffling his hair.

“Mm hmm! Touka-onee chan, you’re like my mama now.”

She just laughs, ignoring the pain in her chest.

Why does it hurt, I wonder?

“That’s okay for now, Ken,” she says. “The others are waiting, so you can go now.”

He hugs her before leaving, and lively hops away. Touka feels something linger from his hug, and she doesn’t know why.

Most of the children are finished, and one of the workers leads them out of the room. A few of the children are still left, including Ken, who was talking with the other workers.

“Kirishima-san, are you finished?” one of the workers approach her.

“Oh, yes I am. Here are some of the children’s works,” she hands the sheets to the workers when a familiar voice echoed inside the room.

“Hello?”

She continued arranging the papers and handing them to worker. Immediately, her heart almost stopped beating.

Hide’s voice echoed in the room. “Oh? You’re here, Kaneki!”

chapter 3 | purple roses

“Thanks for having my back a while ago.”

Both of them cradle a cup of coffee. To dispel her tension she had from the celebration that happened earlier, Hide had offered to treat Touka to a coffee shop. Thinking that it wasn’t a bad idea, she accepted.

“You’re welcome,” Hide says, sipping his coffee. “I just couldn’t stand that man for doubting you. He was judging you without even knowing or feeling what you had been through.”

Touka smiles. She is very thankful for him standing up to her, and even asking Yoriko to convince the people. She tightens her hold on her coffee cup.

“Well… thank you for tagging along with me as well. It wouldn’t have gone better if you weren’t there.”

“It’s okay, Touka-chan,” he smiles at her brightly. “You helped me a lot of times, and I just wanted to replay you.”

His head bows, his eyes fixated at the aromatic liquid in his cup. Touka did help her a lot, and it was during the worst of times.

“And speaking of which…” he looks away; his voice soft. He seems shy. “I haven’t properly thanked you when you… took care of me when I—when I was on the verge of death. So I meant to say, thanks a lot, Touka-chan.”

Touka widens her eyes. She didn’t expect that he’ll bring that topic up… but she wasn’t really uncomfortable discussing it. She just gives him a kind smile.

“It’s okay,” she says. “You’re a friend. You are very kind, and it would be a waste if I let someone as kind as you disappear.”

And that made him smile. The fact that she used the word disappear, and not die—he knows she’s being considerate of his feelings.

He remembers waking up inside a white, bright room. He was in a hospital at that time, and was terrified upon seeing that different kinds of apparatus were attached to him. His body was so injured he wasn’t able to move at that time. Days after he woke up, he realized that a certain someone had brought him there. When he asked for their identities, they refused to tell him. But someone told them what they looked like.

They were two people—a silver haired, tall man and a pretty woman whose one eye was covered with her hair. He immediately knew that it was Touka. He was still weak during that time, and most of the time, he falls asleep unintentionally. It was then that he noticed that there were times that the flowers on the vase on his bedside table seemed to differ. He was told it was being changed by someone who visits him.

When he was released, he went to a place that was difficult to find. He decided to find the others—and luckily, he was able to find the café Touka and her “brother” operates. Yomo tells him of their situation—and he goes along with them. He continued looking for the others—specifically, his best friend. And he does, but he doesn’t recognize him, and all he could do was to observe him from faraway. He’s okay now, he thought. And so, he dropped by to visit the café from time to time, though it’s not often he sees Touka.

“It’s really been long, hasn’t it…” Hide’s voice falters. He isn’t looking at her, and she isn’t either.

“Yeah. Everything has changed. And fortunately, in a good way.”

“I wonder how the others are doing?” Hide asks, though his voice is soft.

“I don’t know, but I think they’re okay now. And by the way,” Touka says. She’s been meaning to ask him something, but she didn’t get to ask him about it the last time. She was curious. “I wanted to ask you something. I wonder if it’s okay to ask?”

He looks up at her. “Sure, go ahead.”

She slides her fingers against her coffee cup. “You told me your work was social-related… What is it exactly?”

Hide straightens his back. “I work in a foster care center. I do foster parent arrangements and the like, though we focus on young, orphaned ghouls.”

Touka’s heart tightened. “Foster care of the orphaned ghouls? I didn’t know there was something like that.”

“Well, luckily there is,” Hide beams. “When it was first brought up, most of us didn’t like the idea of taking care and arranging foster care for ghouls. Actually, I was one of the first volunteers—I mean, yes, being orphaned is really unfortunate but it seems like orphaned ghouls have it worse than normal orphans.”

Hide suddenly waves his hand at Touka, thinking that she might misunderstand.

“Uh, well, I’m not saying that normal kids being orphans are good! I mean, if a young ghoul loses their parents, they have it worse because most of them aren’t able to find foster parents or guardians—and of course, it would be harder for them to find a new home since they are ostracised from the society. I figured that I should help…”

Touka smiles. She definitely remembers being orphaned, and it brings her a good feeling that someone like Hide has the thinking to help ghouls who are like her when she was young.

“You know, I was also orphaned when I was young,” she shares with him. “Luckily, someone found us. I am so thankful of him. Oh, and you know him. He was our manager at Anteiku.”

“Really? I didn’t know he took you in…”

Touka just nodded. She raises her coffee cup to her mouth and drinks when Hide says something really unexpected.

“I wonder how Kaneki is doing.”

She was so startled she choked on her coffee, spluttering most of it on the table and some on her clothes.

“Ah, Touka-chan, here!” Hide immediately pulls out a paper towel from the container on their table and hands it to Touka. She continued coughing as he wipes some of the liquid off the table.

“I’m sorry, Touka-chan,” he looks at her, smiling. “I didn’t know that it’ll surprise you.”

Touka wipes her mouth. “Why would you say something like that out of the blue?” she says, a little annoyed.

“Uh, well, you mentioned Anteiku so I kinda remembered Kaneki…”

She just stares at him, eyebrows scrunched. She breathes deeply.

“Don’t ever say something like that again…”

“I’m sorry…”

Touka went to wipe the remaining liquid on the coffee. She instantly remembers meeting a certain child earlier. Her clutch on the paper towel tightens.

“Hide-san,” Touka says, still looking down. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something, and… well… to be honest…” she’s trying to find words to string together. “I met his son earlier.”

And that caught his attention immediately. “You did?”

“I was on my way to the homecoming… And his son came to me and returned something. Oh, and it’s because I dropped something. He picked it up for me.”

Hide stares at her, a glint of worry is discernible in his eyes. “Touka-chan… are you okay?”

Touka questions his inquiry. “What do you mean?”

“Well… I know you like Kaneki.”

Immediately, her face flushes crimson red. Yes, it somehow hurt when she saw his son, but she didn’t interpret her feelings like that.

Or she’s just denying them deep inside.

“W-What?” she purses her lips.

“It’s pretty obvious, you know,” he tells her. “Even now, you’re blushing.”

He laughs, and Touka hovers the back of her hand above her nose. She looks down.

“So, are you okay?”

“I a-am! It’s not like I’m sad or anything…”

“Well, it clearly doesn’t seem like it.”

She feels embarrassed. She continues wiping the table. “It’s kind of weird you know… Meeting his son out of the blue like that…” she says softly. “I knew he was his son the moment I saw him. He looks just like him.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“The kid keeps saying weird things to me.”

“Eh? Really?” Hide asks, but he sounds unconvinced. “Like what?”

Touka blushes even more. “Things like… things like that I’m beautiful or I look like his mother or something…”

Hide gapes at her. Looks like her mother? he thinks. I wonder if it’s true…

He felt a little uncomfortable. Emotions stir inside him.

“Well, maybe you do look like his mother…”

“Stop making it sound worse, please…” Touka pleads.

Hide wraps his fingers together. “Though the former is certainly true…”

“You made it sound worse!”

Hide just laughed when Touka hit him.

Though he felt like it somehow meant what he said.

“I meant it, you know.”

“Huh?”

It was already late, and so Hide thought that it would be nice of him to go with Touka to the train station. She told him that she’s going to be staying for a few weeks in the city, which he thinks isn’t bad.

The clicking of their shoes are audible as they walk alongside each other.

“What I said earlier. You really are beautiful, Touka-chan,” Hide says, but he isn’t looking at her. He doesn’t want his flushed cheeks to show.

Touka keeps silent for a moment before giving a response. “You always compliment me. Thank you…”

When she looks away, Hide gazes at her. She certainly did change. She has long, silky hair now that falls beautifully on her shoulders. Her eyes seem more mature, and she looks more calm and composed. The way she dresses is different as well.

Hide wonders how she had been after all the years that passed. She disappeared without notice right after the rights establishment, and he doesn’t know where she was or what she was doing. It was very surprising for him and she suddenly just appeared, going back to the city without his knowledge.

Not that he needed to know. Or she was required to let him know.

But he certainly wanted to. In a way, he cared for her—no, he cares for her. He also feels different seeing her change. She looks more mature and looks more like a woman now. It seems like yesterday, she was just a young lady.

“To be honest, Touka-chan,” he starts to speak. “I’m in touch with Kaneki until now. Ever since the rights establishment.”

Touka grips the handle of her bag, hard. For what reason is he telling me that?

“I was wondering if you’d like to see him… reconnect with him maybe…”

Her eyes glints with interest. But she felt a tugging at her heart.

She wants to see him, but it seems like she doesn’t want to as well. She’s so confused. She doesn’t know what she wants to do.

“I don’t know…” her voice falters. “I might want to, but there’s some doubts. I don’t know, I’m really confused.”

“Is that so…” Hide says. “Well, if you want to see him, just tell me. I’ll contact him.”

Touka thinks it would be long before he does.

“Oh, and if you have free time tomorrow, maybe you can drop by our foster care centre?” he offers. “It may be a big help if you are there. The children would be thrilled with seeing someone like them there. Most of us workers there aren’t their kind.”

“I really don’t have anything to do during my stay here, so maybe helping at your place might be a good idea. Where is it?”

Hide hands her a card with the address of the place written on it.

“You can drop by in any time you want. Though morning would be preferable.”

“Alright, see you,” Touka places the card inside of her bag. She stops. “Oh, and you can stop here now. I’ll be alright going to the station from here.”

“You sure, Touka-chan?” he asks her.

“Yeah, I’ve bothered you enough,” she slides into the turnpike. “Thank you very much.”

“Don’t worry about it, Touka-chan.”

They both said their goodbyes, and Hide looks at Touka as she disappears from his view. Touka waves goodbye at him once again before completely leaving.

chapter 2 | reminiscence

Touka realized that it was Yoriko that made her catch attention.

“Ah, I opened the door too loudly in excitement…” Yoriko whispers, though it was loud enough for Touka to hear. Yoriko…

Hide notices Touka’s nervousness. He places his hand on her shoulder, and he felt Touka jump a little.

“Don’t get nervous,” he suggests her, his voice soft. As much as possible, he tries to get her to calm down. He presses his hand lightly against her shoulder, making sure she does not feel forced to not get nervous.

“Everyone is looking at me,” she whispers. Hide can sense her shaking slightly.

“Touka-chan, that is normal when someone catches attention.”

Yoriko apologizes as they continue whispering to each other.

“I stand out. They’re looking at me,” there’s an edge to her voice.

“They’re not just looking at you. They’re looking at us,” he assures her. “Besides, they’re looking because Kosaka-san made a loud sound, not because you’re standing out. And you’re not standing out.”

“Well!” Yoriko turns to them. “I’m sorry about that. Let’s go.”

The others certainly turned their gazes away, but some remained looking at them. Somehow, Touka’s nervousness diminished. She looks around, and she notices that the gymnasium is packed, though there is enough space for people to move around. She can recognize some familiar faces. Most of the people were talking to each other; introducing their partners to friends. There are also children wandering around, but most of them are being carried or are holding on to their parents.

It was then Touka realized that she is indeed an adult now. She’s gets a nostalgic feeling, and even wonders if there are others like her as well, in the gymnasium.

Yoriko disappears for a moment, saying she’ll be back after a minute.

“Touka-chan, I told you it’s going to be fine,” Hide says cheerfully. “You don’t need to worry about anything. We just, erm, kind of made a ruckus a while ago.”

“Seems like it,” she replies, sighing heavily as she feels calmer. She looks at Hide. “I can still feel eyes staring at me, though.”

“They’re going to be off of you later,” he says. “Why don’t you go greet your classmates? I’m just going to get something to eat or drink. See ya!”

He left without even waiting for her response.

Idiot… why’d he leave me?  She thinks. Even though she said that, she actually has to thank him, since he’s half the reason she’s at ease currently. She feels thankful he tagged along.

Why don’t you go greet your classmates?  Hide’s statement rings at the back of her head. She never really had any close friends in her class. Yoriko was her only friend. She definitely remembers most of them, but she didn’t know how to approach them now.

Suddenly, she felt a force against her legs. She looks down and sees a toddler that has crashed unto her leg. The child looks up at her and giggles.

“Oh…” was all she could manage.

“Sho-chan!” a woman’s voice emerges from the crowd. “Don’t let go of me!”

The woman bends down and carries her kid, and when she straightens up, her eyes met Touka’s.

She realizes it was a former classmate.

“Kirishima-san?” she says, smiling slightly, unsure if she is correct.

She looks at her intently, trying to remember her name. “Are you… Uhm… Yumikawa…?”

The woman claps her hands. “Ah, you remember me! You definitely are Kirishima-san. You’ve changed so much!”

Touka wasn’t expecting someone to talk to her, much yet remember her. She always kept silent in class, though some of her teachers get her attention (in a bad way) sometimes in the middle of lectures.

She doesn’t know what to say.

“You look so different now. Your hair have gotten longer,” her classmate beams, approaching her. “It definitely suits you much better than your tomboyish look back then.”

“Thank you…” Touka’s voice is soft, but she was a little glad that someone started talking to her.

“Oh, I hope that didn’t sound wrong!” she laughs. “So how are you? It’s been so long. To be honest, I was a little confused when you didn’t finish here…”

Oh yeah, Touka thinks. I didn’t even finish high school here… We had to go into hiding after… after Anteiku disappeared…

She felt her stomach being tied into knots. It was a bad memory… And she kind of felt upset remembering it.

Yumikawa senses her uneasiness and immediately changes the topic. “Oh, right! By the way, where do you live now? What’s your job?”

Touka collects herself. “Well, I work as a teacher at a good school. I didn’t really expect that I can be a teacher actually…”

“Don’t say that, Kirishima-san. We all get the chance to be something we want. And by the way, I’m not ‘Yumisawa’ anymore,” she chuckles, carrying her child. “As you can see, I’m married to someone. “

She looks at the child being carried by her classmate. She’s definitely cute… she thinks.

“You know… she’s a half.”

Touka’s eyes widen in surprise. “A… half?” She knew exactly what she meant, but she had to ask. She just had to.

“My husband is a ghoul,” she says. “He’s not here right now. I wanted him to come along to this homecoming, but he’s really busy with work. I just want to let you know that I… I have nothing against ghouls. So please, don’t worry.”

She gives her a kind smile.

She knows what I am, Touka thinks. “But then… how did you…?”

“Oh, I know what you mean,” she says. “I received help in conceiving at a ghoul protection center. To be honest, it was really dreading—those nine months when I was pregnant with her. Of course, I’m no ghoul, so it was a lot of trouble eating. But when I gave birth to Sho-chan,”—she pinches her daughter’s nose—“those dreading of nine months are nothing to me anymore. We were so happy.”

Touka was flabbergasted. She haven’t though that ghouls and humans could be together. Even with their rights established, it didn’t come to her mind that some humans will... fall for ghouls. Though she knows that she once knew of a person who had a child with a ghoul.

And she currently knows another person whose child is part-ghoul. The thought of it pierces her heart.

“It’s pretty obvious that you were really nervous coming here, but I hope I helped you relax,” Yumikawa says, smiling at her. “My husband’s name is Akimoto Jun. Do you know him?”

“Oh, I don’t know him, sorry,” she says. “And thank you, Yumikawa-san.”

Her classmate flashes a peace sign with her fingers. “It’s ‘Akimoto-san’ now, Kirishima-san! Oh, and by the way…” she smiles mischievously at her. “Is it still ‘Kirishima-san? I saw you enter with someone.”

Touka blushes furiously. “W-What? He’s just a f-friend, you know!” Not this again.

“Is he your boyfriend? You two look good together!” she says, scanning the crowd for Hide.

“Are you even listening to me…” Touka tries hard not to pinch her nose; all those misunderstandings are making her head ache. “He’s just a friend.”

“Is he a ghoul?” she asks her. “Though he looks human to me. If he is, then that’s so sweet!”

“He’s not my b-boyfriend!” Touka snaps at her, though not angrily. Her red cheeks are evident.

“Alright, if that’s what you say,” Yumikawa-then pats her shoulders. “I was hoping he is, though.”

“He’s not, so please stop misunderstanding.”

“Anyway, Kirishima-san, I’m going to be looking for our other classmates. Would you like to come along?”

“Ah, I’m alright. I’m waiting for Yoriko to come back. She told me to wait for her.”

“Alright, see you later then,” she says, and leaves.

Touka lets out a sigh of relief. She was glad that everything’s turned better now.

The thought of humans and ghouls having family still lingers in her mind. She wraps her fingers together and bites her lips. Having a family, huh…

Someone taps her shoulder, and upon turning around, it was Hide. He is carrying a glass of punch in his other hand.

“Did I take long?” he asks her. “I was kinda embarrassed to be here before, but it seems okay to be here.”

“It didn’t take long,” Touka replies. “I met a classmate.”

“Hmm? Really? How did it go?”

“It went really fine! I mean, I didn’t expect it,” she beams. “But I’m glad it did. She helped me relax. Is it really obvious that I was nervous?”

“Yeah, you were pretty obvious, Touka-chan. But I told you it’s going to be fine, right? And it did.”

“They kept misunderstanding, you know…” her voice falters.

“What?” Hide didn’t hear her, though he swears he saw her blush. He was about to ask her about it when Yoriko appeared.

“Touka-chan, thanks for waiting,” she beams, holding out folder. “Can you please sign this? It’s the attendance sheet. Just for a while.”

She accepts the folder and pen, and proceeds to look for her name. When she finally found hers, she sighs it.

“Yoriko,” she says, giving the folder back. “I met Yumikawa-san a while ago.”

“Oh? You’ve met one of our classmates?” she asks. “Have you seen her daughter? She’s cute, right?

“Yeah, I was surprised,” Touka comments. “I didn’t expect that someone would have a daughter like that.”

“Eh? That was pretty rude of you, Touka-chan,” Hide says, joining in their conversation. “Everyone’s children can be cute, you know.”

“What? No, I didn’t mean that,” she tells him. “I mean, her daughter’s a half-ghoul.”

Hide almost spit out his drink. “W-What?”

“She married a ghoul,” Yoriko explains. “It’s incredible, right? She’s, so far, the only student in our class to marry someone like that.”

Hide could only manage a gape. For some reason, he set his gaze to Touka.

Suddenly, a sound of clearing throat echoed throughout the gymnasium. “Good afternoon to all of you,” a woman stands on the stage, clearly the emcee. “First, I want to thank everyone who came to this homecoming celebration. This wouldn’t be a success if all of you hadn’t come. We would also like to thank the people who came with our amazing alumni.”

Everyone clapped, and the emcee continued talking.

“In the past years, we’ve all been students of this high school, and surely made memories. During that time the rights haven’t been established yet, but that didn’t diminish our desire to finish in this school successfully. Most of us lived with fear of the ghouls, but now, we are finally able to live with them peacefully.”

Touka’s eyes fixate on the emcee.

“It was six years ago when the rights have been established, and it was all thanks to the CCG and a couple of ghouls. Of course, there are ghouls on the peaceful side. And there are certain ghouls who were courageous enough to help with establishing their rights.”

For some reason, Touka felt nervous. Again. Where are they going with this—

“And one of those certain ghouls are here today.”

…What the—?

“Everyone, please let us welcome, Kirishima Touka-san.”

The people in the gymnasium claps, and their eyes immediately stare at Touka.

“If you will, please, Kirishima-san, say something before the start of the celebration?”

Touka shivers in fear. W-What the hell… How did they know I took part in—

“Yoriko, what the hell is this?” she whispers, grasping Yoriko’s shoulder. She’s becoming blunt, but it doesn’t matter to her right now.

Yoriko shakes her head. “I don’t know as well, Touka-chan,” she honestly replies. “I d-don’t know what t-they’re planning…”

Touka’s eyes widen in shock. She looks around, and it was evident that everyone in the gymnasium is looking at her. She notices that some of them are frowning, which probably isn’t a good sign. Some people are whispering to each other.

“Touka-chan—” Hide tries to get ahold of her, but he shuts his mouth as he sees her approaching the stage.

Tch… I don’t have any choice, do I? Touka thinks, feeling her feet drag her to the stage.

She’s an adult now. She has to be mature, and just going along is the best choice she has to do.

Or so she thinks.

The emcee hands Touka the microphone. Everyone watches her as she unwillingly accepts it.

Her shaking fingers wrap around the microphone. Her eyes are looking down on it, refusing to look up in fear. What the hell should I say?

“Well…” Touka started to say, bringing the microphone to her mouth. “I didn’t know that the identities of the people who helped in the establishment of the ghouls’ rights were publicized, so I didn’t expect that all of you knows me.”

The agitation in her voice is apparent. Of course, she would totally be upset since what she thought is a supposedly classified information, has been made public. What upsets her even more is why the hell she hadn’t known about it for so long.

Hide gulps as he watches her start her talking. He honestly doesn’t know what’s going to say. He hopes it goes well, like what he has been telling her the whole time.

“Years ago, I started studying in this school. Most of us ghouls don’t go to school, and it was very different for me. Someone I knew asked me to start studying at school, and to be honest… I wasn’t expecting it to be so interesting. But I loved to study in school!”

Her voice is now starting to sound confident and less edgy. Some people are still frowning, but most of them are listening to her.

“I started late, and that’s why I did badly on lessons. But the experience of being able to study in school is so different for us. It wasn’t a part of our daily lives. We also lived in fear. In fear that we might get found out. As a ghoul, it was really hard living as a student. Who knows when you might get caught? What if they get weirded out on you? That’s what I always thought when I was in this school. It was really, really hard. But what I experienced is new to me. To us ghouls. That’s why… that’s why when we were given the chance to have rights, I participated in fighting for it. Because I want ghouls like me to experience something different in their lives, just like I did. But… without the fear I had when I experienced it.”

Some people nodded, agreeing with what Touka said. Her speech stirs the audience.

One person’s hand shot up in the air. Touka was surprised.

“I want to ask something. During your stay here at Kiyomi, didn’t it cross your mind to target students?”

What the hell?

“W-What? No, why would I think about doing that?” Touka answers, raising her voice a little high.

“Well, simply because you’re a ghoul. And obviously, the only ghoul who has studied in our batch. Not unless someone in here is a ghoul like you.”

Their conversation stirs the audience, and murmuring arises from them.

“Well, it certainly looks like you’re the only ghoul in here.”

“If I planned on eating the students, then I should have done it a long time ago!” this time, her voice is truly angry. She wanted to scream. “I just wanted to study. Besides, if I had targeted someone, that would have caused a stirring among the students, and it would have made everyone suspicious of everyone!”

“Ghouls like you only know how to wreak havoc, am I right?”

The people became noisier—the others are trying to stop the man while the remaining tried to side with him. Some can heard telling their bad experiences with ghouls—ranging from having their relatives got eaten to their parents getting attacked by ghouls.

“Oi.”

The loud voice echoes throughout the gymnasium. Touka almost dropped the microphone from knowing who it was.

Hide smiles brightly as he approaches the man. He taps his back like he’s known him for a long time. He pays no mind as the man gives him weird looks.

“Come on, man, don’t ruin the celebration,” he says playfully. “Why exactly are you doing this?”

“I don’t trust ghouls,” the man replies, grumbling.

“Oh? Then maybe I should vouch for Touka-chan?”

Vouch for me? What?

“What are you talking about?” the man asks.

“Well,” Hide says, crossing his arms. “You see, I’ve been friends with Touka-chan for a long time. And look at me! I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

The man was about to retort, but Hide continued speaking.

“In fact, you’re all still alive. And believe me, Touka-chan is very passionate about living a normal life. She also saved my life from a long time ago. And guess what? From a ghoul. So why would you even suspect her of eating you?”

Hide’s words are seemingly upset, but it doesn’t match his sunny facial expression. “She’s a very nice woman. She’s even so nervous to attend here because she feels different, and yet she still did. I talked with her many times and she really cares about other people.”

People are staring at him now—even Yoriko is surprised with his actions. Hide looks around.

“Oh, Kosaka-san! Why don’t you tell them about Touka? She is your closest friend, right? Tell them how nice Touka-chan is!”

Yoriko gapes at him for a while, and realizing the situation, she stammers but collects herself soon after.

“T-That’s right!” Yoriko says enthusiastically. “I even let her eat the food I cook, and I know that it doesn’t taste good for her, but she still compliments my cooking, and that was really nice of her!”

Yoriko continues to talk about Touka, and everyone listens to her intently.

Touka couldn’t believe what she is seeing—and hearing. The people in the crowd seems to get convinced with what Yoriko is saying—and what Hide said.

“Not all ghouls are dangerous,” even Yumikawa-now-Akimoto joined in. “My husband is a ghoul, but he never thought of eating me. He’s a very kind person—and I know most of the ghouls now are nice. They may even be more “human” than us.”

After minutes of compliments and nice words, the commotion ends. Touka gives her last words on the stage, and to her relief, it ended well. Before going down the stage, she sees Hide smile at her.

And deep inside her, Touka felt something strange and… familiar. And it seems like an uplifting feeling.

chapter 1 | new world

As if meeting his son wasn’t enough.

She was supposed to be holding two, large cake boxes. But instead, she is only holding one. She was supposed to go alone but she is standing alongside of an acquaintance she hadn't met in years.

In fact, Touka hadn't seen any of her friends or acquaintances in a very, very long time. It was long ago when she moved away from Tokyo. She needed a peace of mind after their rights were established. Thinking that it'd be harder to stay calm in the city, she went away to a small, quiet place. As much as she wanted to study at Kamii, she couldn't possibly achieve a tranquil life while studying at her desired university.

But it wasn't bad. It wasn't bad that she finished her studies in a smaller university; successfully. She met new people, made friends, and she got to work at a good school—like she wanted. She was so happy that those like her are finally given rights. Ghouls could finally co-exist with humans.

"Touka-chan, why are you smiling?" her friend speaks. She looks at him, and notices that he was smiling at her.

Unconsciously, she smiled. She didn't know. She was caught up in her thoughts. About to give him a reply, he just chortles.

"I didn't need to ask, did I?" he smiles. "I mean, it's pretty obvious." He scratches his cheek with his finger.

She tosses back a smile. "It's okay, Hide-san," she assures him.

Of course, it obviously wasn't bad that she had conveniently bumped into him on her way to a homecoming.

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" he says, smiling again.

"Yeah," Touka agrees; in a soft voice, as if she's shy to talk.

And she is. Touka thinks it's because they're probably not very close, though she talked to him many times.

Or it's probably because he knows she's a ghoul now. She remembers saying she'll kill him without doubt if he ever finds out about them.

"You didn't need to come along, you know," she says to him. "I could carry these with ease by myself."

"It's alright, Touka-chan. Besides, I have a day-off, and it's not gonna hurt talking to someone I hadn't seen a while, right?" he says, with the widest of smiles. He's like a sunshine, she thinks—completely different from his best friend.

And that thought stabs her heart. She remembers him, and she wants to wince a little, though she stops herself from doing so in order to avoid weird remarks from Hide.

"So you're going to be reuniting with your former classmates, huh?" he says, looking out. He tries hard not to make her feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah..." she says. “I honestly hope it goes well, especially when I arrive..."

Her voice falters, making Hide sense her uneasiness. He cheers her up.

"It would be, so don't worry," he smiles once again. "You're a kind person, so you don't have to worry about it.”

Touka smiles back at him, feeling the reverberation of the train underneath her feet.

They walked together.

It was weirdly silent since either of them is not initiating conversation. They walk beside each other, their footsteps audible in the hanging silence.

Touka decided to observe him for a while. She noticed that he was significantly taller—which necessitates her to raise her head a little if she were to look at his face. His build is somewhat larger—but not too lithe. His hair is still the same color, though it is longer.

“So,” he starts to say, breaking the silence. “How are you doing, Touka-chan?”

“I’m okay,” she replies. “I’m enjoying my job right now.”

“Oh? So what do you do?” he asks her, clearly interested.

“I teach at a good high school. It gets stressful from the time-to-time, but I like to get worked up. Most of the students are nice, so there’s no problem with socializing with them so far. What about you, Hide-san?”

“Hmmm,” he says. “My work is social-related, so there’s no really problem for me. I enjoy it as well. Ever since the ghoul rights were established, work in the CCG decreased and some were transferred in social relations office so I opt to work there.”

“Well, I kind of understand that the government can’t fully shut down the CCG since not all ghouls were satisfied with the rights. I mean, some are still wreaking havoc and rebelling so there should be someone controlling them,” Touka speaks. “Though I just hope they don’t murder them. If they do, I’ll fucking get back at them.”

Hide stares at her uneasily, and scratches his cheek. “Well… Kirishima-sensei sure is fierce, isn’t she?”

She realized what she just said. Oh shit, that’s right, she thinks. He doesn’t actually know that I can be blunt. Though he probably saw me like that sometimes…

“Oh, I’m so sorry…” she apologizes. “It’s just that—”

“I understand, so don’t worry about it,” Hide reassures her. “I’d feel bad too if they get… killed.”

Touka smiles slightly, feeling glad at how considerate he is. “So, uhm, what kind of work do you—”

“Touka-chan, isn’t that your school?” he says, cutting her off, pointing in a large building.

Her eyes light up with excitement. She had completely forgotten about what she wanted to ask as she felt her feet drag her body towards the gate.

“It’s changed a little,” she comments. “It feels more… peaceful.”

“Well, the whole city did, Touka-chan,” Hide says. “I hope you’ll be able to feel how peaceful it is now.”

“Well, it certainly did. In our place, it was quiet too…”

“So, Touka-chan,” Hide looks at her happily. “Shall we go further?”

“Ah, I’m kinda nervous…”

“I told it’s gonna be okay, didn’t I? So let’s go!”

Hide steps further inside the campus as Touka follows her.

They soon reached the gymnasium. Touka’s heart beat faster as she heard the scuffling noises inside. She almost yelped in surprise when Hide slaps her back out of the blue. Her eyes widen.

“Oh? Did that hurt? I’m sorry,” he says, scratching his head. “I just want to help you loosen up a little.”

“N-No, it didn’t,” Touka stammers. “It just s-surprised me…”

“Ahh, sorry, sorry,” he continued apologizing. “Let’s go then.”

They are a few meters away from the gymnasium doors when they see it open, and Touka smiles as she sees a familiar looking woman emerge.

“Yoriko!” Touka exclaims, almost dropping the box she’s holding.

Yoriko looks their way and squints a little, and widens her eyes as she realizes it’s her best friend.

“Touka-chan!” Yoriko calls out, running towards her excitedly. Touka does the same. Before colliding into each other, Touka drops her box on the ground a little gently, and continued to run towards her. Hide smiles as he approaches the two women hugging.

“I missed you so much, Touka-chan,” Yoriko says happily as she embraces her tightly. Her then-short hair is now reaching up to her waist, and she looks more mature.  

“Me too, Yoriko,” Touka says. They finally let go of each other and chuckled a bit.

“You’ve changed so much, Yoriko!” Touka beams. “Your hair is longer. It looks good on you.”

“Same to you, Touka-chan,” Yoriko says. “Still haven’t gotten rid of the long bangs?”

Touka laughs lightly, which Hide thinks sound so good it makes him smile. “I’m used to it, you know.”

Yoriko smiles at her before looking behind her. She smiles. “Oh,” she speaks.

Touka realizes that she’s looking at Hide, and it dawns on her that it’s the first time they meet. “Ah, Yoriko! He’s a friend of mine.”

Hide smiles and unfolds his hand, inviting Yoriko for a handshake. “I’m Nagachika Hideyoshi. Nice to meet you.”

Yoriko takes his hand. “Nice to meet you, Nagachika-san. I’m Kosaka Yoriko.” Touka notices she has a slightly playful expression on her face.

“Is he your boyfriend, Touka-chan?” Yoriko asks suddenly after shaking hands with Hide.

Touka blushes furiously. “H-He’s not my boyfriend, Yoriko. Geez, why do you always get that idea?”

Yoriko laughs. “Well, it’s because you don’t have a lot of male friends.”

“During our high school years, I rarely have friends, Yoriko.”

“But aren’t I your friend?”

“Yeah, just you! Silly,” Touka says, pinching Yoriko’s cheek.

Yoriko laughs again. “Well, Nagachika-san, thanks for coming with Touka-chan.”

“Oh, I only helped her with her things. I can leave now,” Hide says, raising his hands, palm out. “Besides, it’s your school’s celebration. I hate to crash into the event.”

“It’s okay, Nagachika-san!” Yoriko says. “It’s a homecoming celebration. Everyone is welcome to bring their family or friends along. You don’t have to worry; the others have brought their kids or partners along!”

“Kids and… partners?” Hide looks at Touka like he’s telling her a silent message that he isn’t… either of those.  He flushes a little.

“You should probably come along, Hide-san,” Touka says. “I mean, you’re already here. It would be troublesome if you don’t come.”

Hide scratches his cheek, a little unwilling. I can’t refuse, can I? he thinks.

“Well, if you insist…” he says softly. Touka gets the boxes off his hands.

“Thanks for the help,” she says.

“I can still carry it, you know.”

She shakes her head. “Yoriko and I can do it.”

They walk towards the gymnasium. Yoriko happily talks to Touka about something personal, and as they reach the doors, Touka felt an electric shock pass throughout her body.

Upon reaching the door, it suddenly came to her that she was about to face her former classmates. Her nervousness, which was engulfed by the happiness when she saw Yoriko, came back. She wished to wait for a little longer, but Yoriko’s hand was already on the door, and she was too late to stop her.

The moment Yoriko opened the door, Touka knew she’s not able to go back. She tries to gulp down her nervousness as she follows Yoriko inside, hoping that no one will notice them.