#john bain

there’s something uniquely upsetting learning that there’s a fair and valid share of people that think the world is better off without him now. there’s no true remedy for the kind of unsettling feeling that you’re not supposed to mourn the death of someone who’s been there and helped you get through multiple difficult life periods. i idolized him, ever since i was in 6th grade. i even went as him for halloween 2011. his channel was another place of comfort for me throughout the years. so the days following his death, it was such an extraordinarily depressing blow to just see how many people openly celebrate it. there’s no feeling like it that i’ve ever experienced.

TB never came off to me as deserving of it all. it felt like, at least to me, almost everything people found wrong with him was something that he could have learned to reverse if he just had a better line of communication with the people he needed to listen to and more time. that he was problematic and had his low points but wasn't irredeemable, wasn’t malicious. following him, it seemed to me that he was very open-minded and receptive to criticism. it’s much more a fault on me for giving him the benefit of the doubt learning about the things he’s said after the fact. the transphobic comments, the close association with more directly malevolent figures, the one cancer jeer that’s so horribly ironic in retrospect. and yet i so readily dropped p*wd*ep*e and rightfully pushed him as far away as i could without looking back, and i still do the same on an infrequent basis.

it wasn’t like monty or etika. there were no big and emotional tributes, nor the feeling that communities were setting aside any differences to come together and preserve a person’s memory. just more arguments and debates, this time about whether or not it was even something you were allowed to be sad about.

RIP John “TotalBiscuit” Bain. July 8, 1984 - May 24, 2018

It is with a heavy heart that we remember: John “TotalBiscuit” Bain

John Bain, or Totalbiscuit, or Cynical Brit, passed away after a 3 year struggle with cancer. He was a divisive figure in the gaming community, for his very blunt and straightforward stance on many issues. Unwavering, he stood up for what he felt was right for the gaming industry. Many people disagreed with his stances, but most respected his unquestionable dignity and resolve.

He was a key figure in the gaming industry, as well as various content creation platforms such as youtube and twitch. In the early years of WoW, John was fairly influential and well known among the community, and from that, his presence grew further. When he grew to a relatively popular state, he used his industry presence to bring attention to great games and developers that needed a little help. John single-handedly saved many indie games, and some would even say he saved the now massive game Warframe with his early publicity. In a similar way, John helped kickstart many content creators and boost them out of obscurity, starting careers and indirectly creating communities. Other content creators, such as Hearthstone streamer, Trump, noted the large impact and influence John had on their careers, many stating that he was an inspiration that kept them going and reaching for their goals. John did none of this in an effort to look good. John wanted to see quality content in the communities he was part of flourish, and due to his presence, it has.