Stahp
I am so frustrated and I have no idea how to express that professionally.
I manage a church. The staff/clergy/etc. all know I am trans and hired me knowing this. They are incredibly supportive people. Our church has four gay couples I can think of off the top of my head and sets up a booth at Pride every year. I am head over heels for my job. 10/10 job.
That being said, I get a lot of people, especially over the phone, who find it super duper interesting they get to talk to a “girl named Michael.”
I think anyone active in the gay community (ally or otherwise) can probably tell I’m queer in one way or another. But over the phone, I 100% sound female. I am far from passing. Especially my voice.
Usually people will say, “Oh, a girl named Michael? That’s different. Cool!” I’ve never really gotten a negative response from it. But the thing is, people pointing out I’m a “girl with a boy’s name” over and over and over again is grating and discouraging regardless of their kind intentions.
Today was particularly bad. Right out the gate, as soon as I sat down at my desk, I got a call. It went like this:
Me: “Good morning, XXX church, this is Michael.”
Them: [silence]
Me: “XXX church? This is Michael?”
Them: “Did you say Michael?”
Me: “Yes. Can I help you?”
I knew what was coming. I always know. Because they get all quiet and thoughtful, then feel compelled to drop everything to point out my sex. And it’s like, okay, even if I did identify as a woman, don’t you think EVERY OTHER PERSON IN EXISTENCE points out how weird/cool/strange my name is? And it’s just so frustrating, because I use the most common, boring name ever, but it still makes me stand out like a sore thumb. I can’t just be Michael. I have to be “Michael the girl.”
Them: “Wow, a girl named Michael! I’ve never heard that before!”
Me: “I get that a lot.” < Truuuuuth
Usually, it ends here. But not today.
Them: “Wow! That’s just so - - wow! You’re a girl, and your name is Michael? Really? A girl! NAMED MICHAEL!!!!111!11!”
This went on for nearly a minute. What was I supposed to do? Preach about transgenderism? Dude, just tell me what you want so I can direct you to someone who can help you. My being named Michael doesn’t change the fact that you called this church for a reason. Please let me direct you to where you need to be so I can go file my unassuming, genderless files. Fuck bruh.
