#toastykitty.pdf

I HATE THAT RAT BASTARD MAN SO FUCKING MUCH, I UNDERSTAND WHY MELANIE WANTS HIM DEAD SO BAD.

Wow, I really am decaying...

I'm going to be honest with you folks, I'm not doing well today.

I really can't believe that the guy I see as a father and would literally die for got terminated, I can't even begin to say how wrong Tumblr's system was there.

And to couple that with the stress of moving and my dad not being in the best health today, I just feel really depressed.

I'll probably just post an interaction between me and Chilli later today but for the most part I'm not going to be that active.

I don't think it's normal to forget every word both me and other people say right after it's said, I don't think that's normal at all.

Why is there so much hate in the world..?

Why does everything I love have to be torn to pieces..?

Man, my writing SUCKS, HAHAH.

WHO SAID I COULD WRITE???

I am paranoid.

I guess you could say I was always sort of paranoid, in a sense; avoiding mirrors during nighttime and turning on lights wherever I went. Just the normal behaviors of a young cowardly girl when she hadn't gotten enough sleep.

But my behavior has changed recently; it's something I hate to admit but I notice these types of things a lot, given how self aware I am. I am constantly frightened now, even during the day when the sun is shining throughout the house; I try to spend as little amount of time in the bathroom for fear there's something lurking behind the shower curtain, I hesitate to open doors due to the fear that something awaits behind them, I fear that one day when i look down a hall something will be at the end looking back.

And with all this paranoia of something waiting to ambush me inside of my own house, I fear I mirror the character of Holloway from 'House of Leaves'; I am so sure something terrifying is at every corner I turn, that I feel as though the labyrinth of a house I am in will start manifesting one from me, changing from my perceptive. I fear that, just like Holloway, I myself will become my beast of which I am running from; forever trying to escape some horrible thing, unknowning that I am the beast in the labyrinth.

Why is the world so loud?

Why is the world so bright?