#tml fic

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

  Each day you couldn’t play was a day you felt like you were going crazy. You’d spent more of your time as Captain on the injured list than on the ice and you weren’t ready for everyone to say you weren’t ready. You were trying to be patient, trying to take care of yourself, so you could be the best for your team but sometimes it was hard to know what that meant.

  That’s when you saw it.

@marybrightly: Never a dull moment when the Christmas lights are up and I’m with @(Y/I/H)

  Seeing (Y/N)’s smile come up on your Instagram feed, even if it wasn’t on her account, brought back every feeling you’d tried to bury over the last year. You were happy to see her so happy but angry that she was living her life just fine after she pushed you aside. Or maybe you were just jealous that you couldn’t be the one to make her smile, especially at her favourite time of year. You liked the picture but quickly scrolled past so you didn’t go down that rabbit hole but seeing her made you even more eager to get back on the ice, so you could feel normal again. 

  Going out to lunch with Tessa and Mo was supposed to calm you down. They both knew how you were feeling, so they weren’t gonna harp on when you were gonna get better, and they also knew how complicated your feelings for (Y/N) were, so they weren’t gonna get into that. The only problem was… they were a happy, healthy couple. It came so naturally to them that you wondered why it had never happened to you. 

  “What are you thinking about?” Tessa asked

  “Christmas” you replied

  “Christmas?” Tessa and Mo said in doubt

  “Yeah,” you continued, “it’s coming up quickly”

  “Yeah, couple weeks…” Mo scoffed, trailing his words slightly

  “Right” was all you could say

  “Oh my god,” Tessa laughed, “either reach out to her or forget her!” Mo just about spit out his drink at Tessa’s statement, laughing as he watched your face shift into defensive mode

  “What?” you exclaimed

  “You know exactly who and what I’m talking about. It’s (Y/N)’s favourite holiday, you’re thinking about her. That’s fine,” Tessa said gently, “it’s normal. But you’re sulking”

  “I’m not sulking about her” you said

  “So you’re sulking about not getting to play?” Mo added and you shrugged

  “You’re sulking either way” Tessa said

  “It’s not like I want to sulk,” you replied, dropping your face to your hands, “it’s just.. if I was playing, I’d have my focus on something other than her. If I had her, and I wasn’t playing, at least… at least I’d have her”

  “That’s so cute” Tessa cooed

  “So cute,” you said, rolling your eyes, “I just wish I’d have some clarity or some closure from her…”

  “So ask her!” she said

  “She’s avoiding me!” you replied with as much exaggeration as Tessa

  “Let’s be clear, you’re avoiding each other” Mo chimed in

  “The point is,” you continued, “how am I supposed to ask her anything when she doesn’t want to see me? When she’s trying to avoid me?”

  “There’s always a chance you’ll run into her” Mo said

  “I really don’t think so” you scoffed

  “It’s Christmas,” he said, “anything is possible.”

xx

  When your dad called, saying he wanted to visit you, the last thing you expected was for him to show up at your doorstep 10 minutes later.

  “Dad!” you exclaimed, trying to veil your confusion with excitement, “what are you doing here?”

  “I told you I wanted to see you,” he laughed, “I don’t know if we’ll be in the same place for Christmas so… here I am”

  “Here you are,” you scoffed lightly before going in for a hug, “come in!” It was nice to see him. You didn’t get to spend a lot of time with your dad since you moved out of your hometown, so whenever one of you found an excuse, you always tried to make the most out of your time together; even if he sometimes did take you by surprise. “So what do you want to do today?”

  “Well…” he started, fidgeting with his fingers as you sat beside him at the kitchen table, “isn’t there a hockey game tonight?” 

  “Uhmm,” you hesitated, not wanting to answer questions he didn’t even know to ask, “yeah,” you finally said, “but we don’t have tickets”

  “Maybe Mo has extras?” he said, shrugging his shoulders. To appease your dad, you texted Mo to see what he could do, not holding your breath, but Mo got back to you suspiciously fast and said he’d put two tickets aside for you and your dad. 

  “You’re lucky,” you smirked, “he said he’d put 2 at the will call desk.” He jokingly squealed in excitement and said that he was going to have a nap until it was time to leave. When you remembered that Auston was injured, you took a sigh of relief knowing that you wouldn’t have to see each other; you couldn’t help but be nervous that he would see you, somehow, someway, and he would spiral again. Your dad woke up spritely a few hours later and was already in his jersey, ready to go when he came into the living room. 

  “Well, look at you,” you teased, “did you sleep in that?”

  “No,” he laughed, “I just didn’t wanna waste any time so, as soon as I woke up, I got dressed.” You forgot how adorable he was when he was going to a game ‘in person’ as he loved to say, and you were happy to be able to give this to him - like an early Christmas gift. At the end of the game, you and your dad made your way through the crowd to the parking lot when all of a sudden you noticed you’d lost track of your dad.

  “Dad!” you called when you finally saw him staring up at a big screen, “dad, what are you doing?”

  “Just watching the highlights” he admitted

  “Dad,” you scoffed, “we were at the game… you don’t need highlights. What we need is to get to the car before it’s easier to walk across the city than drive.” He shrugged before wrapping his arm around your shoulder, your face brightening with a smile, your attention only going elsewhere when you heard a small noise echo and you noticed Auston creeping behind a pillar. Suddenly, your mind raced with thoughts of him.

xx

Auston’s P.O.V

  You saw (Y/N) laughing with her dad in the arena as the stands cleared out against Chicago. It took you by surprise, just seeing her there, and you followed them, watching them move through the crowd before (Y/N) lost her dad as he stopped for a moment, staring up at a TV near one of the concessions. You continued to follow as the two of them reunited, watching her smile grow wide as she chuckled at her dad’s short attention span. (Y/N) had a way of always drawing you in and this was no different. You couldn’t stop yourself from following them further, eventually hiding behind a post to stop (Y/N) from spotting you; but a button on your jacket pinged off the tin of the garbage can and she looked back, face falling slightly when she finally caught you. 

  “I uh..” you said as you walked toward her, knowing you couldn’t hide anymore, “I didn’t think… I didn’t think you’d be here”

  “Yeah,” she replied, “my dad is in town for a bit and he really wanted to go to a game while he’s here” 

  “I hope you had a good time sir” you said, noticing (Y/N) furrow her brow, as if to say ‘what are you doing?’

  “I did!” her dad exclaimed, “great seats, a win to add to the books, great time. And to top it all off, I get to spend time with my beautiful daughter.” Your eyes wandered to (Y/N) who was, at least in your eyes, trying to plan an escape

  “I didn’t realize you’d come out this way… with all the crowds, you know?” she added and it was the first time you realized you probably had been pushing fans aside as you tried to follow (Y/N) through the building. “We really have to go,” she finally said when you didn’t respond, grabbing her dad’s attention by nodding toward the exit. You cleared your throat before saying goodbye and the small hint of sadness that you had when you first saw her was replaced by a sudden urge to punch someone in the face. You knew the feelings you had for her weren’t going anywhere and her inability to admit she had the same feelings for you pissed you off but, yet again, you tried to push it all aside and move on with your life. 

  She was still on your mind, even after two weeks, and it was starting to mess with your game when you finally came back to the team. You were able to control it most nights, focus on what was in front of you, but tonight, you weren’t paying attention and you paid the price.. twice. One hit and then another and you felt a ping in your shoulder. You tried taking it easy the rest of the game, being cautious, but you didn’t want to give the media anything to talk about, so you didn’t back down. By the time you talked to the press, you knew you’d have to take another few games to heal, you knew that’s what they’d say and you knew it was probably for the best. The frustration and anger it left you with though, lead to your fist flying into the wall and shattering your hand. 

xx

  Someone had told you that Auston punched a wall and you thought they were being dramatic. Why would he punch a wall? you thought to yourself, that’s so stupid. But you couldn’t deny it when it was right in front of you 

  “What the hell are you doing?!” you yelled at Auston as he stood outside your door, the sight of his cast making you scoff in frustration, “what do you want?”

  “Every time I tell you what I want, you shut me out,” he countered, pushing his way inside, “I want you but you won’t admit that you want me too”

  “So you just go and get yourself beaten up?” you said harshly, practically slamming the door behind you

  “I mean..” he smirked, as if some kind of plan was working, “if you hadn’t said what you said… that I was too complicated for you, I wouldn’t have gotten into all this mess”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” you cursed, “you’re such a fucking child”

  “And you’re a mess!” he shouted

  “Oh I’m a mess?” you scoffed, pointing at yourself as you followed him to the couch, “you’re the one with a broken fucking hand but I’m a mess?”

  “Yeah,” he said simply, “you think you know what you want but you’re just using me until you fully figure it out”

  “That’s not true at all!”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes, really,” you mocked his mocking tone

  “But you fucked around with me because it was… fun?”

  “Just hold on a second,” you finally said, trying to get your bearings, “you think you know what you want? You think you’re ready for what you think you want?”

  “What is it you think I want?” he asked, moving slowly toward you

  “I think you think you want a relationship,” you replied, “but you’ve been wasting your time with girls for so long that I don’t think you know what it’s even like to date anymore. I mean, take our ‘date’ for example.” Your use of finger quotes set him off in a way you didn’t expect

  “Jesus fucking Christ” he scoffed, head falling back and he rubbed his hands over his face, “why are we STILL doing this?”

  “I have no idea, Auston,” you replied, “maybe it’s because you’re STILL acting like a manipulative, childish –”

  “Me?” he interrupted, “you’re the one who sabotages everything?”

  “What are you talking about?!”

  “Every single time we.. do anything, you run away,” he shouted and your eyebrows crinkled together, head shaking as you listened to him, “the first time we had sex, ‘it was just one time’ you said. The next, ‘it can’t happen again,’ after that ‘I don’t want to feel anything for you,’ and then…” he hesitated for a moment, composing himself before clearing his throat, “‘I want uncomplicated and that’s not you’”

  “I–” you tried to say something but he kept going, 

  “And the date, the FUCKING date,” he scoffed, gesturing wildly, “I don’t think you even tried to try. You went in thinking it was going to be awful so it was awful. You have this idea in your mind that I’m a certain way and you’re doing everything in your power to make it true”

  “You can’t say that it’s not true,” you challenged, “you have no idea what goes on inside my head. You have no idea what I think or don’t think”

  “AND WHOSE FUCKING FAULT IS THAT?!” he yelled, veins popping out of his neck in exasperation

  “YOURS!” you yelled back and his eyes went wide in disbelief. You couldn’t lie, you didn’t expect to say it, but the words were out there now and you couldn’t take them back; you had to recalibrate. You brought your hands to your face before shaking your head, “you make it so incredibly difficult to feel… normal. Everything that’s normal to me, is basic to you and everything that’s basic to you is overdone, like you’re overcompensating for something. You can’t get to know me because I can’t get to know you”

  “That’s fucking bullshit and you know it” he returned, “I’ve always been honest with you. About how I feel, I’ve never tried to be something I’m not…”

  “Then why don’t I know anything about you?” you asked plainly, “why don’t you know anything about me?” You waited for him to come up with some slimy remark like ‘we know each other biblically’ or ‘I know the way your body reacts to mine’ but he was pretty silent, though his eyes wanted to say something. “I’ll tell you why,” you finally said, “because we fight, we fuck and we go our separate ways,” the words you said nearly a year ago clicking in your mind and you couldn’t help but repeat them. “Neither of us try to ask about the basic things. What’s your favourite colour? What movie can you watch a million times and never get tired of? Do you love your parents? Have you ever been in love? What’s your middle name?” you continued, “Nothing. Because we’re not here to get to know each other. You think you love me? You want me to fall in love with you? Then tell me who the fuck you are! Don’t have a year long breakdown and get into fights or almost get arrested. I can’t do it. I’m too fucking tired to keep doing it.” You sighed after your last statement, finally walking away when Auston reached out to grab your arm

  “Admit it,” he said softly before he caught up to you, “admit that you sabotaged the date”

  “Why?” you asked

  “Maybe you’ll finally believe it”

  “Auston…” you sighed, pulling your arm away slowly and looking at his broken hand. “Look at yourself,” you gestured, “this isn’t all on me. You want me to admit that I sabotaged the date, fine. Maybe I was scared that you’d change my mind or that I’d fall too quickly,” you admitted, “but you were there every time I said things couldn’t go further and you decided not to take it seriously. Now all the fighting? The broken hands and the almost-charges of public indecency? That’s not on me, that’s on your ego”

  “I wanted you and you sabotaged it,” he repeated, “I am in love with you and I don’t know how to stop myself”

  “I don’t know how all of this hasn’t been a sign to you that we’re not supposed to be together…” you said as he moved closer to you, wanting to be as close to you as possible, and you didn’t realize how much you craved his breath on your skin after all this time – like a question you’d been asking yourself for the last year and he was the answer. 

  “If you don’t love me, tell me and I’ll leave,” he said and you shook your head

  “We’ve done all this before,” you sighed, “had this conversation…”

  “Then it shouldn’t be hard to repeat” you met his eyes and the entirety of your time with him flashed through your mind. You thought about how scared you were the first time he gave you butterflies, how you pushed down your desire for him time after time, how you wished that this hadn’t started the way it did, that you could’ve done things properly, how you wished you would’ve stopped it after the first time to stop it from getting this far. You wouldn’t have had to sabotage anything if there was nothing to sabotage but you couldn’t stop yourself; whenever he was around, all you could feel was him, all you could see was him and all your common sense disappeared. It took all your strength to move away but when you finally did, you felt Auston’s chest against your back and your breath hitched in your throat in that all too familiar way and you leaned back into him ‘damn it,’ you thought to yourself, “Auston…” He moved his lips to your neck, kissing up the nape first before travelling to your jaw and you lobbed your head to the side with your eyes closed. It wasn’t long before his hands found themselves on your hips and yours traced down his arms until they reached his, your eyes opening when you felt his cast under your fingertips. 

  “It doesn’t hurt” he whispered as your fingers moved to his exposed skin before pulling his hand to your lips, wanting to fix his pain even if he said he wasn’t in any

  “You need to stop,” you whispered in return, kissing each digit of his hand as you spoke, “settle down, relax, calm down.” He chuckled, gripping your hip with his other hand and kissing the crown of your head gently; these were the moments that surprised you. How quickly he could go from being so intense to so tender

  “If that’s what you need,” he smirked as you turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I’ll be so zen you won’t even know what to do with me.” You giggled at his statement, knowing he probably couldn’t get more zen than his usual personality but the thought was cute. You hesitantly pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss him, starting out gently before it turned heavy and he fell onto the couch, pulling you onto his lap, kiss not being broken even as you straddled him. Your hands clutched the sides of his neck as the kiss intensified and his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer to his chest. Your hands moved to the nape of his neck, fingers curling in his hair as your breathing slowed and your heart raced just as your mind did the same before you finally decided it was best to talk this out first

  “Wait,” you said between heavy breaths, eyes opening slowly, “maybe we should talk… I don’t know if– I think we’re just falling into the same patterns if we do this”

  “What do you wanna talk about?” Auston said quietly, trying to distract you by kissing your shoulders, “how the date went? I think we did that already. Should we talk about why we fall back into the same patterns?” You locked eyes, hands on his shoulders, playing with the seam of his shirt as you tried to come up with any string of words that wasn’t too wishy-washy

  “We probably should,” you admitted, “but I don’t know where to start…”

  “I can,” he smiled, clearly having had thought of what he might say if this moment ever came, “if that’s okay?”

  “Of course it’s okay,” you scoffed playfully

  “Okay,” he inhaled, in a playful way, and kept his hands lightly on your thighs, “on my end, I think we fall back into this, into each other, because we’re comfortable with each other. That first time was surprising and unexpected but that’s what made it so… like made me want to come back time after time. Also,” he added, emphasizing the word as if his statement was going to be one he thought you’d challenge, “I always thought you were amazing. I know you thought I thought it was all a game but I wasn’t chasing you. I wasn’t playing hard to get either but I always thought you were beautiful and sexy,” he grinned, the two of you laughing playfully before he continued, “you’re smart and you’re driven and all of that had me hooked. Did I think we’d ever have sex on your dining room table after an argument? No but I’m glad we did. After that, I couldn’t get you off my mind so when it happened again in Vegas, I thought it was the start of something - maybe that’s crazy to you…” 

  “No, okay, but see,” you said, in a hyper kind of way as you finally moved off his lap, perching on your knees as you continued your thought, “you never said any of this to me. You never made it known that you had any… positive feelings for me before we had sex. There was no way for me to know that you thought I was beautiful or amazing or whatever because you always acted just as annoyed as I was when we were around each other, so.. yeah, it all felt like a game because I had no reason to think otherwise.” Auston jokingly patted his lap and you scoffed in return before shaking your head

  “I guess I didn’t know how to say anything because I knew that you weren’t a huge fan of mine,” he admitted, “and I guess I didn’t want to embarrass myself. So I tried to play off you, so when you were annoyed, I was annoyed. When you were mad, I was mad”

  “Uh huh…” you replied, confused

  “Look,” he smirked, placing his hand on your knee, “maybe it wasn’t the best plan but it was all I had at the time. Then things just started to happen and my feelings got the best of me.” You were happy to have a little bit of clarity, it made you appreciate how confusing things might have been for him when you kept running away only for you to be the one to break every time the two of you were pulled back together. It took a minute for you to do anything, trying to be careful not to cause any more confusion, and when you finally did begin to trace your finger across his tattoos, you couldn’t help but smile

  “I’m nervous,” you whispered, avoiding his stare by keeping your eyes down, “relationships have never been my strong suit. Sex was easier, less chance of hurt feelings, but I don’t know,” you admitted, finally looking up at Auston, “I don’t know when it happened but at some point it wasn’t just sex and that scares me…”

  “You don’t think it scares me?” he asked, and your eyes darted back and forth between his as he spoke, “I didn’t expect any of this and it scares me that I’ll be embarrassed or that I’ll hurt you - or that you’ll hurt me. I’m not really used to being vulnerable.” You smirked at his confession, understanding now that both of you were in the same place, and straddled his lap once more; kissing his neck as you did so

  “I liked when you were vulnerable” you said, whispering into his ear as you kissed the sensitive skin there

  “But you never wanted anything from me,” he questioned, “it always seemed like it was just a string of one night stands”

  “I know,” you sighed, still kissing around his neck and collarbone, “but that’s only because it felt like the softness, the vulnerability, was a lie.” Your words caused Auston to stop your kisses, making your eyes meet his to explain what you meant, “you’d start off all cocky, like you’d won a game because I was in the room with you, because I was in the bed, or the bathroom, with you,” you admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck as you carefully crafted your words, “then we’d fuck and you’d be gentle with me… until I put my clothes back on and it was like ‘until next time then?’ That’s why it always felt like a game. And look,” you huffed once, “I get it now. I see it from your side but you have to admit, you never said anything about how you felt until you realized I wasn’t going to say the same things. You’re not used to being vulnerable, I get that, but you were and I saw it and I appreciated it. But it was like you couldn’t sit in it for too long, you couldn’t let yourself just be vulnerable unless I was immediately vulnerable back”

  “Why was it so hard for you to be vulnerable then?” he questioned and your eyes went wide before returning to normal

  “Because I was protecting myself maybe,” you said, “the way we were going about things was always the same and if I couldn’t see you being vulnerable for more than five minutes then why should I?”

  “I was vulnerable in the bathroom”

  “Yes,” you smiled, laying a light kiss to his nose before pushing your body closer to his, “and so was I… but I knew that it was a bad idea”

  “So you sabotaged the date? That’s when all of that happened”

  “I made a choice, yes,” you scoffed, “because screwing it up was easier than getting hurt. If it never went anywhere, if nothing real ever started, then it wouldn’t have to end and no one would end up with a broken heart.” He finally looked at you with sensitive eyes, letting his guard down just enough for you to smile and lean in for a kiss

  “I’m not gonna break your heart” he smiled against your lips before parting them for a slow, passionate kiss

  “Okay, cowboy,” you joked, poking fun at his country-lyric response and melting deeper into the kiss with each breath you each took. Your hands trailed down his torso, slowly lifting his shirt up and pulling it over his head, catching sight of his cast one more time before crashing your lips onto his, “just do me a favour okay?” you smirked, as you tore off your shirt, feeling his hands cup your breasts over your bra, 

  “Sure,” he said happily, “anything”

  “Stop punching walls and getting into fights at bars”

  “I don’t usually do that” he replied, his hands pressing against the small of your back to bring you as close to him as possible,

  “I know,” you said, pecking kisses jokingly over his eyes and forehead before getting back to his lips, “but just keep the fighting to the ice.” He nodded, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear and kissed you gently. Your hands roamed his bare skin slowly as the kiss deepened and your head felt like it was filled with stars; any decisions made now were done purely out of instinct. You ended the kiss, reluctantly, to stand up and take off your leggings, falling to your knees to pull Auston’s pants down and freeing him from his briefs, your hand teasing his shaft as you looked up at him. Auston smiled back at you as he moved the hair out of your face, holding it lightly in a ponytail and you finally took him in your mouth, your tongue guiding your path as you moved up and down his length. You could feel him pull your hair slightly, so you looked back up at him and noticed that his head had fallen back, leading you to smile to yourself and try to take as much of him in your mouth as possible.

  “Fuck” you heard him moan, his hand now gripping your hair tighter. You kept your movements steady, not moving any faster than you had been, wanting to keep him from bursting too quickly, “fuck, baby, fuck” he moaned again, his hand releasing from your hair and you put your hands on his knees to steady yourself. With your mouth still wrapped around his member, you looked up at him with wide eyes, watching as his hand fell onto his forehead in pleasure, leading you to finally increase your movements, your hands moving alongside your mouth until Auston’s thighs began to tense. You moved your mouth away just for a moment, to catch your breath, to salivate, to give your neck a tiny bit of rest, but your hands continued their motion

  “You almost there?” you asked with a smirk and he nodded, seemingly unable to speak and you took him in your mouth once more; his cum pouring into you shortly after. You giggled to yourself as you swallowed and Auston picked you up from the floor, kissing your hips as you stood in front of him, a chill rushing over your arms, causing you to shiver and goosebumps to cover your skin

  “Come here,” he said lightly, extending his hand to you to guide you onto his lap, “let me warm you up.” Your eyes locked onto his as you lowered yourself, straddling him once more and hands firmly gripping his shoulders when the intensity of the stare became too much. He moved his hands to your waist and the heat from his skin radiated right to your core

  “I want you,” you moaned, “I need you.” The words were barely out of your mouth before he started ravishing your neck. His hand snaked inside your underwear and his fingers began circling your clit, leading moans to escape your partially opened lips. The more you moaned, the more he pulled your body close to him and the stronger the sensation his fingers were giving you was. “Fuck,” your head fell back as your back arched into him, words beginning to come out as fractured syllables, “j-e-s-us chr-i-st.” You moved your hand down his body until you had him in your hand, moving your hips just enough to ease him gently into you

  “Fu-u-ck,” he moaned loudly, his fingers moving away from your clit to grab your hips, allowing you to bounce freely on his length. You couldn’t help it when your fingernails ripped into his skin, only noticing when a pinhole of blood appeared, and you smirked before apologizing. “It’s nothing,” he returned your smile as you continued to ride him, “it’ll heal.” The pleasure he’d already given you had put you close enough to the edge that you were already almost to your climax

  “Fuck,” you repeated, the moans echoing in your quiet apartment, “right there, fuck, yes, right there!” Auston seemed to slow down your movements, pushing your hips down until he was deep inside of you, guttural moans coming from him

  “Fuck, you feel good,” he said breathlessly, “where do you want me to cum?” You couldn’t focus on anything other than him inside of you and you started to bounce a little bit until he stopped you and asked the question again, “where?”

  “Don’t stop,” you moaned, “cum inside of me” and you were finally let loose, bounding up and down quickly until your climax hit you like a train and Auston’s followed with a quieter impact. You stayed there like that for a minute, with him inside you, as you waited for your heartbeat to come back down to normal

  “I want you,” he whispered before kissing your collarbone, “I want you to try”

  “What?” you giggled, barely taking in what he said as you lobbed your head to the side

  “Try me” he repeated, hands gripping your waist while his lips traced across your skin, taunting you with small kisses

  “Try you?” you finally shook yourself out of your trance to look at him, “what are you talking about?”

  “We can make this work,” he said, “I want us to make this work.” The look in his eyes was so sincere, it made you want to protect him - as if he couldn’t protect himself. Your thumb gently swiped back and forth on his jaw as your eyes never left his gaze, until you pressed your lips against his and your fingers twisted through his hair; his tugging on your hair being the only thing to force your eyes back to his, “(Y/N)...” he insisted, loosening his grip on your hair

  “I don’t want to get hurt,” you said honestly, your eyes dancing across his features and bouncing back and forth between his eyes, “and I don’t want to hurt you”

  “Then don’t,” he smiled, kissing your lips gently, “and I won’t hurt you.” It took you a minute but you started to picture it, what being with him might be like. It looked like a lot of ups and downs but it also looked like that thing you’d always wanted but kept missing

  “Okay…” you whispered

  “What?” he said, surprised

  “Okay,” you repeated, “I want to try, too.” His eyes went wide and a smile started to grow on his face, “BUT…” you interjected, “if you embarrass me or I’m made to look like a fool in anyway - if you cheat on me and everyone else knows but me, if you’re saying things about me to ‘fit in with the boys’ - I’m out. I don’t have energy to deal with any of that and I value my peace of mind to waste my time”

  “Understood,” he agreed, slowly parting your lips so his tongue could dance with yours, “I wouldn’t have it any other way…”

  “We have to go slow,” you said quietly in between kisses, “I might be a little scared…”

  “So am I,” he admitted, “so we’ll do it scared, together.” You nodded in agreement, entangling your fingers with his as a smile began to grow on your face and he pressed a small kiss to your forehead. For the first time in a long time, you felt a kind of calm that you hadn’t realized you’d needed until this moment and your mind began to wander. ‘How long would this last?’ you thought to yourself, ‘was this really a good idea?’ ‘would your fears become reality?’ Your face must have been shifting between your thoughts because Auston brought you back, “hey,” he smiled, “don’t shut me out of that mind of yours. We’re in this together”

  “Trust me,” you smiled shyly, “it’s a mess in here”

·        Wearing her lucky earrings (which had been handed down to her by her mother, and her grandmother before that) and accompanied by her small ginger cat (by the name of Tikki) she arrives, flying above the streets, taking in the stunning sights of the place she has only dreamed of. Due to an unfortunate moment of her usual clumsiness, she ends up having a run-in with the police within the first half hour of her being there. She finds a chance to escape getting in trouble and ends up colliding with a certain young man named Adrien who is quickly in awe of her. Unfortunately, he says something rather stupid that rubs Marinette the wrong way, and despite his light hearted attempts to ask her questions and get to know her, she tells him off for acting so familiar with her when he’s just a stranger, and flies away, feeling rattled as her visions of this perfect place start to slip a little.

·        It starts to get late, and feeling suddenly very lost with no place to go, Marinette happens upon a woman who actually works as a designer for Agreste, and when they hit it off, the woman (Osono) agrees to let Marinette stay in the loft above her and her husband's apartment and bakery. On the condition of course, that Marinette earns her keep properly by helping out in the bakery and doing some deliveries and errands for Osono. Marinette sees this as a more than perfect opportunity to meet new people in the fashion world and hopefully learn a thing or two. And with a space to herself, perhaps she could even get some of her own designs made as well.

·        She ends up delivering directly to the Agreste residence at some point, only to have the door opened by none other than Adrien and his friend, Nino. It is then that she discovers (to her dismay) that this annoying guy whom she had chewed out earlier is Gabriel Agreste's model son, and heir to his father’s company. And he of course, uses this fresh encounter to befriend her again. Nino, it turns out, also knows Osono, and he had heard from her that Marinette is staying with her and her husband, and that she is deeply interested in fashion. This prompts Adrien to take this perfect opportunity to invite her to one of her father's upcoming shows (which for once he would not be modeling in, so he's hoping he could accompany her as a familiar face and introduce her to a few of his friends). For now, while she is in such a state of surprise, she says yes, but doesn't quite let up on being resistant to his advances. When she leaves, her mind is filled with many mixed thoughts of him over the next while.

·        Around the time of her arrival, she hears whispers about a man by the alias of Hawkmoth. The name rings a bell for some reason, though she cannot seem to place her finger on why. He seems to be a rather sinister figure, though, and Osono warns her to act with caution. In one of her letter exchanges to home, her parents inform her that they also knew of Hawkmoth. Though they refused to give up much detail about him through a letter, they do inform her that he had tried to steal the earrings Marinette had inherited from her own grandmother. Apparently, they acted as some sort of key to something that would allow him to obtain some great amount of power. Marinette understood enough of the small amount of information her parents had revealed to at least be warry and move with vigilance, as it could not be coincidence that the rumors of his moving’s in the city had started up when she arrived.

·        On another delivery run, to the Bourgeois estate during an impressive thunderstorm, Marinette encounters a less-than-pleasant Chloe, whom she discovers is apparently engaged to Adrien. She can't understand why this is such an upsetting thing… but “why would he be making such advances towards her if he was already meant for that absolute snob?” She ends up flying around in the rain after her deliveries are finished, trying to sort out her thoughts, as well as to avoid meeting Adrien for the show, before eventually making her way back to the bakery, dejected, worn out, and feeling quite homesick and in need of a friend to talk to.

·        The next morning, Marinette is sick from being so chilled the previous evening. Osono comes up to check on her, and informs her that Adrien had waited there for her for quite some time, and they had all been worried about her, and that maybe something had happened to her involving Hawkmoth. Gauging Marinette's reaction, though she works out that it had nothing to do with the shrouded villain, but rather something must have happened that made Marinette very much not want to see Adrien, and doesn’t push the matter further (for the time being, at least).

·        The next day, after a good bit of rest and thinking out loud about her problems to Tikki, Marinette decides to just forget about the whole thing, and keep moving towards the goals she’d had coming here in the first place (though now, whether or not that still included seeking to work under Gabriel Agreste was not such a stable piece in the puzzle… “There are, of course, many skilled designers that would be just as good to learn from” she reasons to herself). She ends up going on a few deliveries, though one of them gets horribly botched when she loses a folder of some very precious designs in a horrendous windstorm. This event, though, leads to her meeting a girl her own age named Alya, who helps her to recover the designs; she finishes the day extremely grateful to have finally made a friend that she can connect with. They end up remaining in close touch, and Alya becomes Marinette’s confidant.

·        Osono eventually – and cleverly – plans a way to get Marinette to deliver to Adrien again, and Nino helps. Marinette doesn’t put the pieces of Osono’s scheme together until she finds herself in a place on the very far edge of the city, knocking on a garage door in a neighborhood area overgrown with various flowers, and Adrien himself comes around the corner with Nino to greet her. Nino had apparently “left something really important of his” in what turns out to be Adrien’s garage, and had insisted that they go there right that afternoon. Once he sees that Marinette has arrived, though, he explains hurriedly that he has another place he needs to be, and leaves them alone together. After a brief confrontation moment of awkward silence between these two, confrontation ensues, the upset coming from both ends this time, for Adrien had been truly worried that something happened to her, and became upset when she hadn’t bothered to contact him about canceling plans or even to tell him that she was alright. Marinette in turn demands to know why he would lead her on in the way that he did if he was already engaged, because she isn’t about to be someone’s side fling. He is able to deny Chloe’s claims of any engagement. He acknowledges that they had grown up together, and at some point their parents had semi arranged a marriage between them, but Adrien had chosen to take no part in it, desiring to find his own way rather be controlled his whole life. The apologize to each other, though there is still a bit of residual tension.

·        Before Marinette can use the uncomfortable situation to run away again, Adrien quickly invites her inside the garage. She is stunned when she discovers that Adrien has transformed it into a sort of secret escape; there are bookshelves filled with volumes in all sorts of languages lining the walls, warm sunlight streams in from large windows that overlook the Seine and a glimpse of a field that flows away from the city. There is fencing equipment sitting next to a small table, a couple cozy overstuffed couches are pushed near the far window, a large and lazy looking black cat (named Plagg) lounges on the back of one of them, and a small upright piano sits in the corner.

·        They end up talking for a while and eventually leave the hideout to explore the surrounding area; Adrien shows her several secret places he’s discovered. The conversation between them begins to flow comfortably. She asks him many questions about his life and he asks about hers. He learns that while she has been putting on a brave face to be on her own in a strange place, she still has terrible moments of fear and homesickness, and that she does not want people to simply take her at face value, but really be seen as who she is and for what she can do. She finds that he has had a pretty lonely life ever since his mother disappeared when he was a small child, and his father turning harsh and distant after that. And though she still hasn’t quite gotten used to how he can be so suave and gentlemanly one moment, then be a goofy flirt spouting terrible puns the next, she understands that this incredibly well known and respected boy just really wants a place to belong and feel safe, around people he cares about.

·        After their afternoon together, Adrien walks her back to Osono’s and asks if they could do this again the afternoon after the next, and she says yes. Upon entering the bakery, Osono greets her and gives her a knowing smirk, but doesn’t press her for any details of the day’s events. The moment Marinette is in the privacy of her loft, she contacts Alya to confide in her all that happened. Alya encourages her to let things pan out how they will, and tells Marinette to keep her updated.

·        Marinette and Adrien start meeting up with each other regularly, first near Adrien’s hideout and the fields and forests near there, and then moving more into exploring the inner city. Eventually Marinette shows him the loft she is staying in, and all of her designs and creations and works-in-progress. Being no stranger to the fashion industry, it really means so much to her when he is completely floored, telling her with true sincerity how amazing her designs are, and how amazing she is. Adrien asks about her magic powers, and she tells him that she cannot do magic in the sense of casting spells the way he had expected, but rather that she had a certain craft for creating clothing that had special qualities that other regular clothes did not: the way she could make some materials change color slightly as someone wore the garment, or how she could make something fit whoever wore it perfectly and in the most flattering way. He sees there is a truly magical quality not just in her work, but in her ambition, creativity, and determination as well. Osono walks in on them then, and Marinette realizes that Osono knows Adrien pretty well. She also learns Osono had plotted with Nino behind both of their backs to have Marinette deliver to Adrien’s secret garage so as to create an opportunity for Marinette to actually get to know him. Marinette is indignant at first at being tricked, but the sight of Adrien ginning at her brings back to mind how they had only resolved their issues because of Osono’s meddling, and the gratitude that replaces her irritation overwhelms her heart.

·        About a month into their blossoming friendship, Adrien’s father calls him into his office. Unexpectedly, the topic of conversation was not the general photoshoots and event schedules that Adrien had come to expect, but instead his father was asking some very pointed questions about “that girl he was spending so much time with.” Adrien’s surprise and unease led him to reply to his father’s inquiries – about her background, her family, and why she was in the city – with short and rather uninformative answers. The next day when Adrien sees Marinette, she can tell that something is off with him, but he chooses not to reveal the events from the night before. After all, he has no idea what all that was about, and doesn’t want to concern her over probably nothing.

·        One day, they get spotted by Chloe, who goes into a fit of rage that someone like Marinette, who is less than no one, would be spending such close afternoons with her Adrien. Adrien stands up to Chloe, not allowing her to speak such awful things about Marinette. Chloe realizes that her prized fiancé is not so obedient as she had seen when they grew up together, and finally realizes that her expectations of their perfect life together are non-existent. But she will not stand to be ignored or thrown aside, and in a fit of jealous scheming, she contacts Hawkmoth.

·        Hawkmoth uses the information Chloe has given him to make his move. When Adrien is riding in his father’s helicopter to make a short business trip out of the city, Hawkmoth sends several akumas (people he has manipulated heavily into being so indebted to him that they are forced to do whatever he wills) to attack the helicopter. Adrien gets trapped holding on for dear life to the side of a tall clock tower with no means of escape by climbing, as Akumas are preventing him from getting to safety. Marinette (who is fighting back the fear that threatens to overtake her at the thought of anything happening to Adrien) is drawn out into the open to try everything she can to rescue her friend.

·        Before she can get to him, though, Hawkmoth confronts her. She is forced to trade the earrings in exchange for Adrien’s life. With that, Akumas begin to attack the city. They are barreling down doors, people are being thrown out into the street, and destruction is skyrocketing. It is as if they are looking for something, and no one can stand up to them. Anyone who does ends up dead.

·        When Marinette is finally able to reach Adrien, she is so relieved that he is still alive that she can’t hold back her tears. He is completely stunned that she would do such a thing for him as to give up her dearest possession. He pulls her to him, tightly wrapping his arms around her, and promises that her sacrifice will not be lost on him. No one has ever cared for him so much to do something like she did, and he promises to do everything in his power to help her defeat Hawkmoth. Marinette is overcome by everything he is saying, and she begins to work out her feelings towards him in more clarity than she’d been able to before.

·        Marinette deduces that it is the power of her earrings that has granted Hawkmoth to release his siege and that “luck” is being turned in his favor every time someone tries to stop him or his Akumas. The only way this can stop is if he loses possession of them, and as she witnesses the horror that is coming against the people around her, she knows that she must do all she can to take them back. Hawkmoth becomes more powerful than anyone could have imagined, and not only does he gain quick and absolute control over the city, but his iron fist begins to spread across Europe.

·        Gabriel Agreste is nowhere to be found when Adrien returns to his home, and piecing together several key clues, Adrien concludes correctly that his very own father was either working for Hawkmoth, or was the villain himself. And though the comprehension shakes him at first, he comes to realize that he is not so surprised as one ought to be. It fit, with the strange fascination he had shown towards Marinette, and his icy treatment towards those around him, even towards his own son… somehow it made sense. What he couldn’t figure out is why his father is going to such great lengths to hurt innocent people. Was he really so power hungry?

·        Together, Adrien and Marinette discover where Hawkmoth is, and they fly on Marinette’s broom to his location, keeping to the shadows and staying hidden from the Akuma as well as they can. They arrive at the place and find Hawkmoth observing the city from a wide window. Adrien confronts his father. Gabriel Agreste turns to face them and removes his mask. But rather than fighting them as they had been expecting, he starts to tell them of how his wife was taken from him when Adrien was still young. He tells them how his own godfather – a terribly ambitious power-hungry man – had gone by the alias of Hawkmoth, and had told Gabriel stories of how he tried to take the “Miraculous” (as he called them) from Marinette’s grandmother, having learned of the incredible power they held that granted someone who knew how to wield them as much luck as they would ever need to accomplish any task they set out to do. And when Gabriel heard of Cheng’s granddaughter coming to the city, he’d known it was his chance; not to further his godfather’s legacy (he himself, while being quite dominating and authoritative in his own work, was never so power-hungry) but to find his wife. And it was only with the power of Marinette’s “Miraculous” that he had any chance of finding her and bringing her back.

·        “So… she could still be alive?” Adrien asks, his voice thick and tears in his eyes at the realization that there was a possibility that he could see his mother again. Gabriel sees his son’s reaction to his justifications and begins to encourage Adrien to think of that could be accomplished if they could work together; his mother could be restored, they could be happy again, it would be their chance to have a proper family and a normal life. And Adrien sees the validation in all of this. Marinette is looking from Adrien to Gabriel, wondering what Adrien will choose to do, and fear starts to constrict her throat as she sees her friend giving into these ideas. But Adrien in shaken out of it, saying that sacrificing innocent people in the attempt to find his mother is not the right thing to do, and he knows his mother – who was good and kind to everyone she met – would never stand for this. And whether she was alive or not, he was not going to allow his father to hurt anyone else.

·        “I have never been so disappointed to have you as a son” Gabriel spats vehemently, and while Marinette sees the pain in Adrien’s eyes, he stands firm saying, “You have never treated me as a son, and you lost your right to call me so a long time ago.” At Hawkmoth’s command, a dozen Akuma emerge from the shadows and attack. Marinette grabs Adrien’s hand and pulls him onto her broom. They take off, Adrien holding tightly to Marinette as she flies vigorously to avoid the onslaught coming from the Akumas. She shouts that she will distract them if Adrien can manage to get to Hawkmoth and take back the Miraculous. Adrien nods gravely, and jumps off the broom, rolling into the landing a few yards from his father. Marinette soars frantically this way and that, somehow managing to trick a few of the Akumas into taking each other out when they thought they would be landing a blow on her.

·        She has no opportunity to watch what Adrien is doing, but his attacks are fueled by the deep desire to protect Marinette and to save his city from this villainous man. Hawkmoth is stronger than him, but Adrien is more agile. They are matched pretty evenly. “You will obey me!” Hawkmoth growls in frustration as Adrien refuses to cave under the attacks. Marinette receives a brief moment of respite after shaking a particularly nasty Akuma off her tail, and sees that Adrien needs an opportunity to get the upper hand, and throwing caution to the wind she speeds straight at them, barreling into Hawkmoth with full force. He is sent flying into the wall. For a brief moment Adrien exchanges a look with Marinette as she flies off again to take on the Akumas, for he is deeply impressed with her tenacity. In the second he is distracted, Hawkmoth destroys a support beam that causes a huge chunk of the ceiling to come crashing down right where Adrien stands. Adrien dodges the deluge of concrete and wooden beams, but suddenly finds himself right near Hawkmoth, with his back exposed. Before he can move into the defensive fast enough, Hawkmoth takes up a heavy pipe that had fallen and swings it hard into Adrien’s side, breaking several ribs. Adrien collapses onto the ground.

·        As Adrien looks up from where he is sprawled on the floor, gasping for air and clutching his damaged ribs, he sees Marinette above start to soar into a steep dive towards his father. In an instant, he understands what she is doing, and sees that Hawkmoth does as well and has pulled out a small, lethal looking blade. A cry wrenches its way past Adrien’s throat, and in a last effort to protect Marinette from the weapon she cannot see, he launches himself at the man. His shout had caused Hawkmoth to turn in surprise, and the way Adrien tackles him causes the arm holding the knife to turn at an angle towards himself, the blade going right into his side. Marinette had successfully snatched back the Miraculous when Hawkmoth had started to tumble, and now that they were away from his possession, the power he wielded from them was broken.

·        Gabriel Agreste is not fatally injured, but the pain from the knife is enough to subdue him, and Adrien, gritting his teeth in pain, is able to tie him up. Marinette quickly turns to defend against the Akuma that are left, bu Hawkmoth has lost his control of them, and one by one they disappear into the shadows to escape. Marinette hears sirens coming closer, and realizes that the attacks elsewhere in Paris have stopped and that the building’s partial collapse during the battle had not gone unnoticed. The authorities start to arrive.

·        As Adrien stands nursing his injured side and watching Gabriel Agreste get taken away in restraints, he feels many mixed emotions; anger, bitterness, sadness, relief, pity, loss… Marinette, feeling her heart ready to burst with indescribable emotion for the boy who had saved her life and helped her save the city, comes to stand beside him wanting to express her gratitude for all he had done for her and sorrow for what he sacrificed; but she doesn’t say anything, knowing how overwhelmed he must feel. Instead she simply helps him to safety so that his injuries can be properly tended.

·        A couple of weeks pass, and life in the city begins to return to normal. Adrien is nearly recovered from his physical injuries, and eventually Marinette finds the courage to breach the topic of finding Adrien’s mother. Adrien regards her thoughtfully for a moment, then says that he would like to continue his father’s search, but to do so properly. He imagines that there must be some clues or bits of information that his father held close somewhere which would grant him at least some sort of starting point, and that he would find it and work from there. Marinette nods, and offers to help him where she can, if he would like her to. He smiles and nods gratefully, before saying contemplatively that he does not want this endeavor to take over his life the way it did his father. Marinette takes his hand, and looking earnestly into his eyes she encourages him that it will not, and that they will find out what happened to her somehow.

·        Adrien and Marinette spend much of their time together, Adrien hanging around the bakery and Marinette’s studio as she works, and Marinette coming to shadow Adrien as he goes from photoshoots to meetings. He has inherited his father’s company, and though recent events have left a dark image over the once esteemed Agreste name, he is confidently determined to bring it into an even better light than before; not through manipulation and intimidation as his father had done, but by the talent and hard work of himself and the people he works with.

·        He considers offering Marinette a highly esteemed position in this company’s reworking, and she knows he is thinking about this, but through conversations with Osono, Marinette decides against it, and Adrien understands that she does so because she wants to make her own place in the world using her own talent and hard work to get there. However, this does quite not stop Adrien from finding a way to casually introduce Marinette to some of the top designers in Paris, and when they see some of her work, she receives a handful of offers to take up an internship, to learn from and work under them for a time as she further develops her craft. Marinette ends up taking one that allows her to work pretty regularly around Adrien, and their friendship grows as time goes on.

·        Eventually and naturally, these two become much more than just friends. After all they have been through, and how much they have seen each other grow and mature, the love shared between them grows strong and unwavering. Certainly they make each other better, encouraging each other in all of their decisions and endeavors, and acting as a steady source of support and good advice in all of their endeavors. But more than anything, they just want to be together all the time, and life is just too colorless when they are apart. Adrien is still in awe of Marinette, he has been since the day they first met. But he truly sees her for who she is – clumsy, headstrong, resolute, compassionate, quirky, brilliant… – and loves her for every bit of it. And Marinette has come to know not only the goofy boy who makes terrible puns and just wants a place to really belong as he truly is, but also the man who is a natural leader who acts with authority and compassion and makes his own place in the world. And together, they are each other’s worlds and can always be there to remind the other that they are more than enough.

Me: *Realizes ¾ of the way through just how freaking long this is getting and starts maniacally laughing because I’ve lost all control of my life and I’m never going to get enough sleep*

I really did debate just not releasing this whole thing, and actually writing a proper multi-chapter fic instead, but I know that I would never find enough time for it when I already have such a busy schedule. And when I have time like now to relax and be creative, I’d much rather draw :) I told myself I was going to keep this short and just throw a few points into this post, but here we are with an entire story outlined in no less than freakin 4,851 words, and it is well after 3 am?! What am I doing with my life, these dorks are ruining me!! Also, tbh I don’t really think that Gabriel is Hawkmoth canonically, but I felt like having the villain be someone closer to them rather than just making a new one up.

The excited gleam in his peridot eyes didn’t all hide the reluctance she saw deeper down.

It was almost like he didn’t know how to feel about the mission Ladybug had planned, something she never really expected from him.

“Chat, all he wants is for you to model for it while retaining the cat theme,” Ladybug repeated. “I can’t interact with you unless something goes awry, or it’ll throw our cover. Hawkmoth will be there and he needs both of us, not just you.”

Chat Noir frowned. “But why am I in the limelight?” he insisted. “Why can’t we just spy as our civilian selves?”

“Because Monsieur Aguillon wants Chat, not a typical teenager,” Ladybug reasoned. “Besides, we might accidentally reveal ourselves to each other--” He gave her a pining, pleading look. “--and you know that I don’t want to do that yet,” she finished firmly.

Chat’s ears drooped slightly. He didn’t look at all happy about this. Ladybug sighed.

“Honestly, Chat, I thought you loved flaunting your ‘good looks’ to everyone around you.”

He sighed and looked almost relieved when his ring beeped. “It’s...you wouldn’t understand.” He breathed a bitter laugh and tried for a smile. “To put it simply, as a civilian the public thinks I’m the cat’s meow.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes and shoved him lightly in the shoulder. “Whatever. Now get home before I find out who you are. You have a week to prep for this.”

“Great.” He sounded unenthusiastic as he stood and tipped an invisible hat at her before leaping his way home.

She watched him, amused and yet partially concerned. He never felt reluctance toward her plans.

But she’d be there as Marinette. After all, some of her work had been included in the show and she could take notes whilst spying. Maybe if Chat got a break he might open up to her. They’d been friends for a while now anyway.

And he wasn’t supposed to interact with Ladybug, no. But as far as he knew Marinette was an entirely different person and she hadn’t said anything about not interacting with other people.

Ladybug stood and swung home. No matter how much he annoyed her, she did care for him and part of being his friend was knowing what made him uncomfortable.

The girl vaulted into her room and transformed into Marinette right before her mom came in to check on her.

After explaining that she’d just finished her homework and was about to get ready for bed, her mom gave her a warm smile and headed back downstairs. Marinette breathed a sigh of relief and got in bed to finish the homework she’d just lied about doing.

That was a close one.

::

Adrien sat down heavily in his chair, and huffed. Plagg giggled at him. “Now how am I gonna make this work?” he groaned. “Father’s put me--Adrien--in there too! And knowing Marinette, she’ll probably be there and she’s the only one I know that I can talk to and I probably won’t get any time! Plagg, this is a problem!”

“Just switch in between appearances,” Plagg said through a mouthful of cheese.

“It isn’t that easy.” Adrien groaned again and leaned his head back, spinning his chair. “I have to show twice too. In the same show. As two different people. I’ll have to run back and forth between my father and M. Aguillon and change into various costumes and honestly this is too much for me.”

There was a knock at the door. Adrien slapped Plagg under the desk and sat up straight. “Yes?”

Natalie opened the door halfway, a clipboard in her hand. “Adrien, you're scheduled for the morning showing for the event.”

“Morning showing?” he asked. This was a new development.

Natalie nodded. “Yes. Your father is showing first and after his exhibitions are through he will stay to watch Aguillon’s works. You are expected to be in sight of the catwalk once your performance is finished, understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Natalie left and Adrien realized he was holding his breath, so he quickly exhaled and Plagg came out from under the table, complaining. “Geez, you could have just--”

“Plagg, I have things figured out now,” Adrien put in. “I’ll just sneak into the bathroom after I’m done, transform, then come back out and talk with Marinette or whatever, then I have to go to Aguillon.”

“Why do you even wanna talk with Marinette anyway? You pretty much ignore her at school,” Plagg pointed out.

Adrien glared at the kwami. “Because she’s my--Chat’s--friend. Around Adrien she’s stuttery and nervous and I don’t think she likes that side of me.”

Plagg didn’t look convinced. “Or, you know, maybe she’s completely in love with you as Adrien and your thick skull hasn’t realized that yet.”

“Are you insane? She barely even looks at me, let alone gives off any hints that she’s got a thing for me.” Plagg raised an eyebrow but sighed.

“Fine. Whatever. I’m not arguing anymore,” he huffed, waving his arms in submission. “What are you even gonna talk to her about?”

“I don’t know. Maybe her work and stuff like that.”

“Wow. Exciting. You're definitely not a boring person.”

“Shut up, you dairy vacuum.”

Plagg sniggered and grabbed more cheese, shoving it into his mouth.

Adrien frowned at him and spun around to finish his homework.

This mission was not going to be his favorite.

::

Busy. Busy busy busy busy. Take a few steps, get yelled at, repeat. Not moving your hips enough, you're too stiff. Less swing, more strut. Nag nag nag.

By this point Adrien was seriously considering whether or not spontaneous combustion was something he could do at will. Not that he wasn’t used to it, no.

He always felt like bursting into flames after every rehearsal. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel like such a disappointment.

Even after practice he was criticized. His father would pull him aside and chide his faults, point out his errors. “More enthusiasm, more flair.”

With all due respect, he wanted to say, he didn’t have much cheeriness left when it came to his father. He could see now why his mom left.

And yet he didn’t speak. He’d just lose the few friends he had and be taken to a private school, or get homeschooled again.

So instead he nodded morosely with a, “Yes, father. I understand, father. It won’t happen again, father.”

And this happened nearly every day. School and Ladybug were his only escapes.

Today, Adrien dragged his feet up the stairs. His feet were sore and he wanted a nap. He was hungry and fatigued and wished they’d let him eat proportionately the same amount of food as Plagg ate cheese.

Modeling was fun at times, but, he realized, they starved you. This was dangerous business.

The boy pushed open his door weakly and collapsed on the bed. He’d have to be up early tomorrow. Plagg zipped around him. “First of all, cheese. I need it. Second, aren’t you gonna check the Ladyblog?”

“Mmmuuhg,” came the muffled response of Adrien, his face buried in the sheets.

Plagg rolled his eyes. “You know you have to feed me if we’re gonna be Chat for the majority of tomorrow’s show,” he nagged. “And if you wanna catch up on your precious Ladybug, you may as well.”

Adrien groaned and melted off the bed, sliding down until his face was now buried in the floor instead. “Ffffffine,” he muttered slowly. He yawned and pulled himself off the floor, supporting his weight on his chair. Then he drifted tiredly out the room with not-so-perfect posture.

He returned a few minutes later with cheese for Plagg and then he flicked through the Ladyblog on his phone. He was too tired to turn on his computer.

A new post appeared at the top of the page: “Ladybug and Chat Noir possibly confirmed for fashion show stakeout! It’s Aguillon’s show, and I hear Chat is modeling, so be there if you can!”

Adrien groaned for the umpteenth time today and buried his face in his arm. “How does Alya find out about these things?”

Plagg shrugged and continued scarfing down his cheese. “Maybe Alya’s Ladybug?”

“What? No, definitely not. Ladybug’s got lighter skin.”

“Huh, you seem so sure. Last time you thought Chloe was Ladybug even though they have entirely different hair color and attitude.”

Adrien raised his head weakly and squinted tiredly, glaring at Plagg. He tried to say something but gave up and put his head back down.

Plagg sat on the boy’s head. “Get rest. You’ll need it for tomorrow.”

“I’m too tired to move.”

“Adrien, now.”

Adrien sighed heavily and drew himself up to get into his pajamas. He brushed his teeth and then flopped in bed, falling asleep before he even hit the pillow.

::

The morning hadn’t been too eventful. Alya called to see if Marinette was going to the show (which she was) and Chat Noir had dropped by early to, yet again, confirm if she was going. Satisfied with her answer he gave her a cheeky grin and a pun-filled farewell before bounding back home.

Marinette finished fixing her hair into a loose bun. The clumps that weren’t in it she curled and she made her bangs a little more poofy than usual. Her dress was simple yet stylish, and of course she’d made it herself.

She admired herself in the mirror and her mom called her from downstairs. “Marinette! We have to go, we’ll be late!”

“Coming, mom!” Marinette grabbed her purse and Tikki before sliding out her trapdoor and into the hallway. She couldn’t wait to see how her designs looked on other people.

::

The flashing and clicking of cameras and the blaring lights above the runway were nothing new. The strut down the lighted catwalk was second nature; he barely even had to think about it.

As he flaunted Aguillon’s outfit, he scanned the crowd for any sight of Ladybug.

No such luck. Perhaps she was undercover as a civilian and would transform later.

Chat Noir did see a familiar face though. Bouncy blue-black curls and pale skin with a light spattering of freckles, bright blue eyes and a short, fragile-looking stature.

Chat’s smile then wasn’t entirely for the crowd around him anymore and when he turned to head back down the catwalk he made a point to flick his belt-tail and wink at Marinette. He caught her rolling her eyes with a grin.

He didn’t change into his uniform after disappearing behind the curtains and instead wove through the crowd to get to Marinette. She looked strangely smug.

“First off, where were you before I got on the catwalk, Princess?” Chat asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement and cocking his hip.

“I lost track of time,” Marinette shot back, putting her hands on her hips sassily.

“Second, why so smug, dear?”

Marinette scoffed and shoved him in the chest lightly. “You look good in that suit.” She seemed to be stifling a giggle, as if she knew something Chat didn’t.

He didn’t care. His mind was still on her compliment and, no matter how giggly, how genuine it was.

His face shouldn’t have been burning.

He coughed and pulled at the collar of his black shirt. The bell that held it closed jingled. “Heh, thanks, Princess, but that doesn’t exactly answer my question.”

Marinette bit her lip. Chat realized she was both smug AND excited. “Chat Noir, surely you looked to see who made your outfit,” she managed.

He frowned. “What?”

“Aguillon loved some of my work and put it in his show,” Marinette explained giddily. “I never thought it would look so great! And, well, you're wearing one of my pieces.”

Chat blinked. He looked down at the suit and examined it before looking back at Marinette and winking. “It’s very well made, Princess,” he purred. Even in the darkness he could tell she was blushing and he felt accomplished.

Marinette forced another scoff and tossed her head aside. Chat Noir puffed out his chest slightly. “I might just want to keep this,” he sang.

A set of footsteps rang out among the oblivious chatter of the crowd, a set of footsteps Chat knew all too well. He stiffened and felt the urge to surrender. He stared at the ground, subdued. “Hello, Miss Dupain-Cheng,” the footsteps’ owner’s voice said regally.

It was his father.

Gabriel shot a small smile toward Marinette, though whether or not it was genuine, Chat couldn’t tell. His father never smiled at home.

Marinette beamed back at Monsieur Agreste. “Hello, M. Agreste, sir,” she said cheerily. Chat wanted to shove his finger down his throat. This was unbearable. If only she knew what he was like.

Gabriel nodded and he looked out to the catwalk. “I heard some of your work was up there,” he noted calmly. He directed his attention toward Chat, who tried even harder to avoid eye contact. Gabriel nodded toward his suit. “That one of yours?”

Marinette smiled wide. “Yessir.”

The prestigious fashion icon smiled a little. “It’s extremely high quality.” His voice was soft and stern. He raised his eyebrows toward Chat. “May I?”

Chat stiffened his pupils slit, but he forced a compliance. “Y-yes, fa--sir.”

Gabriel looked somewhat confused but shook it off and gently inspected the suit. When he was through, he looked Marinette over.

“I am impressed.”

Chat looked at Marinette. She looked like she was about to pass out.

Gabriel continued, “Though not the highest quality fabric, it is well made. You made good use out of it and could definitely bring in profit from this. Not many people your age can do that, Miss…?”

“Marinette,” Marinette squeaked. She cleared her throat and hastily composed herself. “It’s just Marinette.”

Gabriel nodded. “Marinette,” he repeated. “Well, I am thinking about introducing a new line of clothing in the future. You might consider taking it up as a career option.”

Marinette looked like she was about to combust. Gabriel started to walk away, but he hesitated. He turned back to the girl. “You know my son, Adrien, right?”

Her breath hitched visibly. “Y-yeah, I like--I mean, I kn-know him enough to b-be an acquaintance of h-his, sir.”

“Have you seen him? I told him to stay in sight of the catwalk but I haven’t been able to find him.” His voice sounded a little tight and Chat could feel his claws digging into his palms as he balled his hands into fists.

“Adrien’s here?” Marinette squeaked. A stagehand changed the direction of the lights and Marinette’s blushing red face became highly visible.

Chat started. Wait...did she...

Gabriel nodded. “Yes. I take it you haven’t seen him?”

“N-no, sir. I mean, no, I haven’t seen him.”

“Ah,” he replied, frowning. “I will ask around. But think about my offer, Marinette.” And then he left.

“Adrien’s here, Chat,” Marinette giggled. “Let’s go find him!”

“Why?” Chat wondered slowly.

Her face turned even more red. “N-no reason.”

“Ah, well, okay then, Princess,” Chat crooned. “But are you sure it’s not because you like him?”

“What?” Oh, Chat Noir knew he was pushing her. If he hinted any more she’d burst into flames. Her face was so red, so very very red. “Pfft! I don’t kn-know what you're talking about.”

“Ooh, you're in denial! Another sign of having a cru--”

She smacked him across the chest. “Sh-shut up!”

The cat held up his hands in surrender. At least he knew she liked him. That was enough to satisfty him. “Okay, okay, Princess,” he chuckled. “Are you happy about my fa--I mean, uh, Monsieur Agreste’s offer?”

Though glad to have a subject change, Marinette squinted at him. “What’d you say?”

“Are you happy about Agreste’s offer?” Chat repeated, his heart racing. Please don’t figure it out, please don’t figure it out, please don’t figure it out.

Marinette stared at him for a moment, then let it go. “Oh, yes, I am,” she sighed after a second. “I mean, this is the chance of a lifetime!”

“One you should noir avoid?” Chat punned.

And Marinette laughed. Usually she scoffed. But she laughed.

“That was a terrible pun,” she giggled. “So bad.”

She kept laughing for a moment, amazed by how irrelevant the pun was, and something shifted in his brain.

Her laugh was adorable.

It was like Ladybug’s, but less...mature.

And now that he thought about it, there were a lot of adorable things about Marinette that he hadn’t noticed before. Like her freckles, and her eyes, and her outfit…

Wait. Was he blushing? He was glad he had his mask on.

Marinette sighed and looked at the various designers, running about and making adjustments. “What I would give to be there,” she moaned wistfully. “I love baking, but...behind those curtains, with the outfits I’ve made, that’s where I wanna be.”

Chat wanted so bad to tell her he could GIVE her that. He could fund her schooling, heck, despite his father’s demeanor, even Papa Agreste could teach her. He could help her reach that dream and he felt a deep, pathetic longing in his chest.

He could only tell her simply, “I believe you’ll get there.”

Marinette beamed at him. “Thanks.”

He smiled back. She looked so pleased, so glad to have him as a friend.

Now if only he could get her to use coherent sentences around Adrien.

Marinette looked in the direction of Gabriel’s departure. “He seems like a kind enough guy,” she observed after a moment.

Chat almost laughed.

She cocked her head. “But...I’ve heard he’s really strict and typically emotionless, especially toward Adrien.”

Chat wanted to say that yes, he was a jerk, he was so overprotective, it’s no wonder his mom left. But he couldn’t. To throw away everything you kept secret about yourself simply because you were frustrated was a foolish decision.

He sighed. “My own father is that way,” he revealed quietly. “He always makes decisions for me and for once I’d like to make my own.”

Marinette’s expression grew into one of empathy. She put a hand on Chat’s arm. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I hope he gives you more independence soon.”

The cat gave her a gentle smile and opened his mouth to say, “Thank you” when someone screamed.

Marinette perked up instantly and she tensed, sneering in the direction of the scream. It was not the best time, but Chat Noir’s heart jumped when he saw her expression. It was exactly like Ladybug’s and he couldn’t restrain the sudden lurching in his stomach at the thought.

Now now, Adrien, this is just a fleeting crush. You’re just associating different things about her with Ladybug and feeling things because of that. Marinette is a friend.

He put an arm in front of her. “Now, Princess, I appreciate your willingness to fight--” Something exploded behind the curtains of the catwalk. “--but it’s a hero’s duty to keep as many civilians safe as possible, and you, my friend, are one I wish to keep unharmed.”

“But--”

“Marinette.” He looked her in the eye. All light-heartedness had left him. “Go. Now. Get behind me and get out of the building as fast as you can. Get home.”

Marinette hesitated, but nodded and ran out the building. Chat drew his baton and spun it, ready to face whatever akuma had been formed now.

::

Marinette called Alya once she’d gotten outside. “Alya, there’s an akuma in the building, get outside!”

Alya responded far too cheerily on the other end. “Can’t!! Chat’s fighting it and it’s great! Ladybug will show up soon, I know it!!!!”

“Alya--”

“Oh, exciting! Gotta call you back, things are getting interesting! Bye!”

The phone beeped and Marinette groaned. She disappeared behind the building and transformed before running back out to the front entrance and swinging through the doors, shattering them.

Chat had just been thrown back by a fashion-themed akuma, some designer who’d been teased by the others for having “stupid outfits”. Chat’s cat ears were pinned back and he wiped blood from his split lip as he caught sight of Ladybug.

He immediately brightened. “My Lady!”

Ladybug smirked and helped him up. “You look dapper, kitty,” she complimented. “Perhaps this designer’s jealous?”

“Oh, it’s entirely possible, My Lady,” the cat smirked. He puffed out his chest. “I look marvelous.”

The akuma howled and fired a mass of black sludge toward the two heroes. Chat regained focus and ducked just in time before grabbing Ladybug’s wrist and pulling her along behind an upturned table. He spun his baton above his head to create an umbrella of sorts.

“What do we know about this one?” Ladybug asked, her hand resting on her yoyo.

“Well, he’s definitely upset about something,” Chat grinned.

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “That’s nothing new, you idiot. What else?”

“His sludge isn’t harmful and dissipates quickly, but it also gives you a horrible and tacky outfit that would make even Walmart shoppers cringe.”

As if on cue, a man ran by, screaming, in such a gaudy, bad outfit that Ladybug fought the urge to hurl.

Ladybug looked at her partner. “Anything else I need to know?”

“If he realizes you're wielding a Miraculous, he gets extremely violent and very rude,” Chat explained. He stuck out his lower lip, exposing the raw, jagged cut across its surface. “He hurt me and my feelings.” His voice was dripping with fake self-pity.

“Great.” Ladybug’s eyes widened as the akuma ran at the teens and she shoved Chat out of the way, the two rolling on the floor as the akuma attacked the table they were just behind.

The bug pulled the cat up by the collar and drew her yoyo, spinning it threateningly in her hand. “Chat, cover me,” she ordered. “I think I can get him under control.”

“Are you kitten me?! L.B., that’s insane! He’ll--”

“Managed to throw a pun in even that one, eh?” She sighed. “Chat, as long as you have my back, I’ll be fine.”

His eyes were wide with worry, but he steeled himself and his frown was quickly replaced with a cattish grin. “As you wish, My Lady.”

He gave her a two-fingered salute and Ladybug noticed that his hair had come out of its mostly-neat style it held earlier. Not that it wasn’t typically shaggy and unkempt, but it was also partially controlled. After he’d been fighting alone, it was like he’d just gotten out of bed and had run a hand through his hair, like, twice, and called it good.

She’d never admit it, but Ladybug thought it hilariously cute on him and she had to resist the urge to giggle at him.

She grinned and bit her lip as she turned to face the akuma, brandishing her yoyo defensively.

“Mister Akuma, sir, monsieur,” she called to him. The akuma whipped around and glared at the heroine.

“If you're going to stop me, it’s no use,” he hissed, and then, in his voice and Hawkmoth’s combined and echoing each other, “I’ll just take your Miraculous, and you’ll be useless.”

Ladybug sneered. The akuma knew she had a secret identity, and despite not knowing who, he also knew how to make her hurt.

Useless.

She felt Chat’s presence next to her. She glanced up at him, and his face was void of any positive emotion. His pupils had slit and his ears were pinned, and his face held all the ferocity of an angry tiger.

“You do not speak to Ladybug like that,” he growled quietly. “She is not and never will be useless, no matter what form she’s in.”

Ladybug put a hand on his arm. “Chat, back down, it’s not him talking, it’s Hawkmoth,” she whispered.

“I know exactly who’s talking.” His grip tightened visibly on his staff and his tail swayed in warning.

“Chat, please.” Ladybug looked at the akuma, who grinned terribly back at her. “Go through with the plan, and then you can tell Hawkmoth what for.”

Chat sneered and Ladybug could have sworn his transformation also granted him the sharp fangs of a wildcat. He took a couple steps back and held his baton at the ready.

“Proceed, My Lady.”

Ladybug took a deep breath. Hawkmoth was just messing with her head, she was NOT useless, even as Marinette.

“Wardrobe Malfunction, this is not you,” she told him. “I know the others teased you, but what they say isn’t true, okay?”

The akuma softened a little.

“R-really?”

“Yes. It doesn’t matter what they say, you’re a great fashion designer.”

For a moment Ladybug had thought she’d gotten through to him and wouldn’t have to instigate violence this time.

But then he started laughing. “Yes, I AM a great designer! I will make them see how great I am! And steal your Miraculous in the process!!!”

“Oh no. CHAT--”

He was already ahead of her, having been tensed and ready to leap even before the akuma attacked. He bounded after the akuma as it jumped toward him and Ladybug, and he clocked it in the forehead with his staff, knocking the astray designer into the wall. The cat landed on his left hand and his feet, holding his baton at his side.

“My Lady, now!”

Ladybug blinked in shock, then shook her head and used her Lucky Charm.

Today it was a Ladybug-themed handheld vacuum cleaner, which, with a little teamwork, she used to pull the designer’s jacket off. She ripped the sleeve and cleansed the butterfly inside, setting it free. Then she threw the vacuum into the air with a shout and soon everything was back normal.

The designer went shakily back to work and was astounded that suddenly the others were avoiding him.

Ladybug helped Chat off the ground, and he pressed his fist against hers. “Pound it!”

She grinned. “Let’s go.” She turned to leave, but Chat grabbed her arm.

“Wait.”

Ladybug looked at him. “Yeah?”

His expression had quickly turned somber and concerned. “What the ak--what Hawkmoth--said back there,” he confided, “I know you probably thought nothing of it, but…” He locked eyes with her and she realized the pain of the jab earlier was deeper than she thought.

Nobody had ever insulted her with that much certainty.

She felt her eyes stinging and Chat saw it. His face twisted into a painfully distraught expression.

“Hey, look at me.” He tipped her head toward him when she averted his gaze. “I wanted you to know that you are not useless. You never have been, you are not, and you never will be, no matter whether you're a civilian or a hero. Okay?”

He was right. He almost always was and she knew he was now. And her heart felt gooey and warm inside.

Ladybug couldn't help but smile, tears still in her eyes. Chat smiled in response.

“There’s the Ladybug I know,” he laughed. “And cheer up for me, will you? ‘Else you and I will have a chat.”

Ladybug laughed and shoved him in the chest. “That one sucked.”

“You wound me, My Lady.” He pouted.

Chat’s ring beeped and he jumped, looking down at it. “Oh, gotta run,” he bleated, frowning at his sudden squeaky voice crack and crossing his eyes. Ladybug giggled and he returned to smiling. “I’m afraid you’d go into a coma if you figured out who I am and how beautiful I am.”

“Oh, hush, that’s not happening any time soon,” Ladybug laughed. “Get going.”

“As you wish, My Lady.”

And then he disappeared.

Ladybug ran outside. She transformed back into Marinette and tucked Tikki into her purse. She turned around to walk back and stopped with a jump. Her breath hitched.

Alya was standing there with a gape on her face. She held up her hands. “Honest, I didn’t wanna see you transform, it just kinda happened.”

Marinette blinked. “Alya, if you tell anyone--”

“I won’t.” Alya rubbed her temples. “Oh, I am the worst journalist ever. How did I--I mean, Marinette? Out of all people? I should I have known, but--wow...I just...what…”

Marinette was panicking on the inside. She ran to put her hands on Alya’s shoulders. “Alya, I know it’s a lot to take in, but please stop trying to process this, you’ll explode your own brain.”

“But you're Ladybug?!” Alya squealed. It echoed in the alleyway and Marinette covered her mouth.

“Shh!”

“Sorry!” the girl hissed sheepishly. She looked down at her phone and grinned.

Marinette looked at her. “What is it? Also you're taking this way better than I thought you would.”

“Yes I am externally, but on the inside I’m screaming and imploding,” Alya confirmed. “But look!!! I got this really cute video of Lady--I mean, you--and Chat after the fight.”

“What.”

“Well, you know, I myself didn’t get all of it, but he was consoling you about something, wasn’t he?”

Marinette looked at her. “You’re gonna upload that one, aren’t you?” she sighed.

“You know it, girl!” Alya laughed giddily. “Also, can I come over to your house after this? I need to let this sink in but I need to be with you when I do it.”