#tmi-ish

I find it really difficult to come up with a coherent answer for this which explains everything I think 🤔 so I'll put it under the cut just in case

this was before we even started dating, although very, very soon before - maybe even the last date before?

we were going to global fest that night. my hair was cut short because i had asked the lady to cut off all my hair that was damaged - which happened to be all of it due to working outside directly in the sun the entire summer.

i wore my blue striped bralette top and my flowery skirt with the snaps all up the front. you came to pick me up in the green car - and it was the first time my parents would ever see you, too. they looked out the window at this boy they’d never met but they knew i was seeing and i could have died of embarrassment for both you and i.

globalfest sucked ass. we parked illegally at target, tried to buy an umbrella from target because it started fucking raining but to no avail, and the fireworks were lame - like, really lame. so much for spending $30/ticket on this supposed grand finale.

but we made it back to your car, and you took us to the glenmore reservoir. i knew you had something in mind but i couldnt quite place what. you brought your big fuzzy blanket along, and thank god it was the middle of the night, because lugging that thing around probably looked ridiculous. but i’d find out that what we were going to do next definitely required that it was the middle of the night anyways.

...aaaand we did a few things on that park bench that night. the beginning of quite a few escapades, little did i know.

ugh. i miss it.

anyways

we somehow ended up back close to my place, parked in the school parking lot, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms in the backseat. there was no way that was comfortable for either of us. but we woke up way too early for how late we went to sleep that morning. the sun was just beginning to rise. i sat on my knees, head laid to the side on the seat headrest. you sat across from me, looking at me with that dreamy look. my makeup wore off at that point, and you were examining my face (though i didn’t know). freckles, you said. i didn’t know you had freckles. you smiled that soft smirky smile - i like them, you said. you look beautiful without makeup. i like you without makeup. don’t wear it when you’re with me anymore.

the conversation eventually turned to what would happen with you and i. you were leaving, so soon. we both knew there was something there that neither of us wanted to let go, but i figured it was something that i had to.

i’m not going to stop talking to you, you said. i’m not sure what’s going to happen, but i’m going to keep talking to you.

you drive me home. it’s 9AM at this point. i’m sitting in your car and i absolutely don’t want to leave.

what are you doing after this? i ask, trying to make conversation.

i’m going to get breakfast, you said. you should come with me.

...no, i think. i can’t go. i’ve already been out of the house all night, and it’s sunday morning right now.

i step out of the car but i dont close the door, i’m not sure what i want to do next. you also get out of the car, and we playfully cirlce each other. you with that damn smile on your face.