moved!

we all have 

we all have 

i honestly can’t wait to be a part of your moderately fucked-up family.

you look perfect.

just give it time. 

who cares what they think?

it’s not too late to flee. 

you don’t belong in this family. i mean that as a compliment.

congratulations, you fuck-face.

i’m giving you an out.

are you ready for this?

i started to think we’d really lost you.

i have to tell you something…

i thought i might find you here.

how much have you told her?

i just don’t wanna let you down.

did something happen?

i’ve been totally stalking you on instagram.

everything okay?

it’s time for hide and seek.

sweetheart, maybe you should just stay here.

there is nothing usual about this.

come on, let’s take a walk.

you’re gonna have to run, okay?

what the fuck is going on?

so it’s my fucking fault?

you didn’t even fucking talk to me. you could’ve told me. 

if i told you, you would’ve left.

i promise you i’m gonna get you out of here, okay?

hey, you can do this.

i just came to get a drink.

you can help me. please.

this doesn’t end well for you.

i’m really sorry about all this.

i’ll give you a ten-second head start.

could you at least pretend to care?

who’s the fuck-up now? still me?

why does this always happen to me?

i need you to be quiet, okay?

fucking rich people. 

do you think that this is a fucking game?

we are all fucking fucked!

i think you made your point, sweetheart. 

i want you out of the way.

try not to kill anyone else.

at what point do we just cut and run?

do you remember anything?

i remember all of it.

i tried to protect him.

you always looked out for him.

sweetie, i’m so proud of you.

hey, hey, you’re safe now.

you don’t wanna kill me. you don’t want me to die.

let me go, okay?

i’m weak.

you’re a good guy.

it’s insane. can’t you see it’s insane?

i am not who you think i am.

i’m drunk, i’m not blind.

you didn’t think i was just gonna let it happen, did you?

with family, one hopes for the best.

if it comes down to you or her, i choose her.

i know tonight didn’t go as planned.

i knew you’d help me.

who the fuck do you think you are?

i meant what i said this morning.

i’m not going to let you hurt my family!

you won’t be with me after this, will you?

you’re hurting me.

don’t leave me.

i don’t want to die.

i’m not like them.

don’t fucking touch me!

i want a divorce. 

“I’ll buy you coffee if you hold my hand for five minutes.”

“Please just pretend you know me.”

“I thought you’d never show up!”

“One date to meet the family. Would you really say no to free food?”

“You only have to wear the ring until they notice.”

“What’s the harm if we’re never going to see each other again?”

“But I don’t even know your name!”

“I’m not sure we can pull this off.”

“They’re going to be furious if they find out.”

“I get to have a sexy partner for a day, and you get to have a story to tell your grandchildren.”

“Just kiss me and act like you do it every day.”

“If you keep staring at me like that, everyone’s going to see right through us.”

“Well, darling? Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

“I know we’re strangers, but can you at least hug me back?”

“I’ll do all the talking, you just stand there and look pretty.”

“I can’t do this! I’m the worst liar ever!”

“I’ll do it, but only if we get to go on a real date later.”

“Look, I only hacked into your account to change your relationship status.”

“You look terrified. Please smile before someone thinks I threatened you.”

“This is temporary, I promise!”

“This is only temporary, right?”

“So how long do you need me to be your secret spouse?”

“I think you’re mistaking me for someone charming.”

“Of all the people here, why me?”