#tmhp

A very brief intro to me:

I recently just graduated from college and moved back home and it’s been 9 months approximately. You’re probably all wondering why I don’t just move out if I’m so miserable. Ha. Ha. If only I could. It’s another one of the wonderful qualities of being born by a tiger mom/helicopter parent (TMHP). So you can say that life recently has definitely been a struggle for me trying to adjust, but not really trying to because that’s not the lifestyle I want. I’ve always been pretty submissive when it came down to anything related to family and to an extent I still am, but it’s gotten to a point where I really don’t know how long I can last anymore. Before, at least I’d try to fool and tell myself that I just had to wait until X and then I’ll be free. But at this point, there’s really nothing to look forward to anymore.

So basically, with this blog, I’ll try to share a story whenever I can, some more serious than others of course.

So, off with today’s story:

Basically, my mother came into my room earlier and closed my door and told me that we needed to talk. It started off with a bunch of lectures by her about the little stuff I do and how she doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t try to better myself and how I need to fix them early on so that eventually when I’m married, these horrible habits won’t carry forward and that my husband and in laws won’t think I’m a dirty girl. (P.S. I’m not even close to messy, slightly disorganized, maybe). Also, she reiterated that “good girls” don’t stay out past 11PM (oh, if she only knew all the things I’ve actually done in life), which is ridiculous considering how that’s probably the curfew of middle school kids.

Then, the conversation took a turn, which I expected, and she proceeded to talk about how I should break up with my boyfriend because he’s not Chinese. We’ve had conversations about him before but obviously my mother’s relentless and it always leads to be crying. Anything related to her, I will literally cry. Anyways, she basically admitted to be racist (and had no shame about it either), because she said she’s being realistic. Her main reasoning behind her opposition to our relationship is because she believes that it’s hard for interracial marriages to work out because of cultural values, traditions, beliefs, etc. Which is a valid point. I do believe that people of the same background will tend to have more similar values. However, I also believe that within cultures, each individual will have different values he/she holds. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to ensure that you and your partner hold the same values. Another point she brought up and asked was if I even ever considered her and how she would even be able to communicate with my boyfriend because a marriage is between two families. I get what she’s saying in the sense that families play an impact when choosing your spouse because I definitely take into consideration what my potential partners’ family situations are like when dating them. However, it seems a bit ridiculous to just base my relationship options on by the language barriers she has.

All in all, this little experiment of blogging and venting about my emotions has been liberating in a way. I’m glad I’ve found some sort of outlet to release my inner thoughts, since I’m generally terrible with expressing myself (another quality of being a child of a TMHP), and I do feel a lot better now after. I know that in a way all this is very trivial but until you actually live my lifestyle, it’s all very hard to explain and empathize with.