#tlou2dina

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The next morning I woke up to warm sunlight coming from Ellie's window. Opening my eyes I see her calm face in front of mine. Her soft features looking beautiful in the low light. Her arm was draped across my body. Faces so close if I puckered my lips they'd meet hers. She surrounded me. I wish I could stay here forever. Theirs only one more person who could make this moment absolutely perfect. Ellie looks so at peace which is good since she  has patrol later on today and she definitely needs the rest.Thinking how she should take better care of herself and sliding her arm off my waist. I  got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. After I was all done, being sure to keep quiet for El's sake I decided to leave a note. As I wrote a short silly little poem for her I thought about how much I wish I could watch her read it and see her smile. As I made my way to the door I remembered I missed something. Turning on my heels I practically tiptoed to Ellie's side of the bed. Leaning over I noticed her hair in her face and routinely slid it back behind her ear. Leaving a kiss on her cheek in it's place. Making my way back to the door and outside into a snow covered Jacksonville directly after. Walking pass the Bison and towards the children's school once I got close enough I walked up to the cork boards outside. As I looked through all the posters trying to see if their was anything news worthy I heard a familiar voice yelling "I'm so gonna get you for that you little shits!"  Walking towards it I found just the girl I was looking for. "Dina!?" She swiftly turned her head to me after narrowly dogging a snow ball. She jogged up to the fence I was leaning on with a smile. "Hey Y/n"

"Hey D, sorry to pull you away from the battle field." I said with a laugh. Her chuckle shortly followed. "It's ok I'd rather be talking to the prettiest girl in Jackson any day."

"You mean yourself? How do you do that?" I asked mocking confusion. Dina's smile widened as she laughed. She tilted her head down and watched herself  drag a line through the snow with the tip of her boot. Looking back up she stared at me giving me a sweet smile. I smiled back and tilted my head to the side. "You gonna stare all day?"

"Only if you let me."

Suddenly grasping my hand dina went into mama bear mode as she noticed my hands where bare. "What did I say about gloves? Do you wanna get frostbite idiot?!"  I shook my head at her, smirking. "Nuh uh. Can't get frostbite if  I've got you to keep my fingers all nice and warm and attached, wrapped up in yours. Right?" Her face deadpanned.

“Wrong. Your lucky I know how stupid your stubborn ass can be and I brought an extra pair." She said as she held back a grin. Giving an eye roll instead as she playfully slapped the gloves onto my palm and closed my hand around them. "And actually put them on please."  Removing my hand from her grasp and slipping the black leather fabric over my wrist I muttered a

" thanks." at her feeling a little embarrassed for being scolded. It seems I've been getting a lot of that  these days. Feeling Dinas hand grasping my jaw I brought my attention back to her. "I don't mean to be such a mom all the time I just worry about you." She said letting out a semi frustrated sigh. Frowning I rushed to try and comfort her.

"It's ok. I deserve it most of the time and besides, without you I'd probably be down to 3 fingers and Ellie would definitely be missing some toes” I replied jokingly with just a tad bit of seriousness. Dina smiled again and pulled me towards the opening in the gate to my right. Walking through it and stopping in front of me she put her hands on my shoulders with a look of determination on her face. "That's it no more motherly nagging. We are going on a little run, nothing serious just some fun sight seeing for a while. It's time for me to be the fun one and show you some of the cool shit I've seen around Jackson. You down?"

She smiled at me brightly with a hopeful look in her eyes. How could I say no to that? I know me and Ellie where planning to both come confront Dina about our feelings together later on today but I wanna spend some time with her. We haven't spent much time alone since last week. I don't know who's fault that might be or if it's anyone's at all. Maybe we where both just too busy. I wanna believe that but as far as I know neither of our schedules have changed since then. It also does not explain this tension we've had between us. Maybe she took it the wrong way when I got all nervous from her forwardness on our last patrol. How could I say no to her now? “Ok let’s grab Opal and Japan and get going before we actually have shit to do.”

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“And you hit him in the throat?” Dina asked as we continued our conversation about my first sparring match in Jackson when i was about 14. Now a mile out from home. “Yup! I felt bad but it was also kinda funny to see his surprised/angry/choked up face. He should of never underestimated me.” I said with a shrug and sly smirk at the memory of my triumph over a little prepubescent asshole named Jesse. Back then I never would of thought he’d be such a big brother figure to me now. Dina replied in a humorous almost mocking tone. “Yea anybody who underestimates you must have a death wish”

“Ha ha so funny I almost fell off my horse.” I said as we rounded the corner of an old toy store. As we made our way past the crumbling buildings their was a loud boom. Ironically Opal sped forward, making me actually fall off my horse at the sound and took off around another street in the opposite direction of the noise. Laying in the snow trying to recover from the painful shock and sudden loss of air in my lungs from smacking against the barley snow padded concrete I was stuck helplessly looking at the light grey sky waiting for my vision to focus. Even with my vision still looking smudged I could make out Dina’s concerned form hovering over me. I’m guessing my blurred vision is a result of my head previously crashing down on the cold thick layers of white beneath me. “Oh my god Y/n are you okay? Empress? Hello? Can you see?”

Shaking of the dizziness as I started seeing clearer again as I slowly sat up with Dinas hand on my back helping me. Her hand immediately went to my head feeling all around it for any breaks or leakage coming from my throbbing skull. Her hand coming to rest on the center of the back of my head where it hurt the most after she heard me wince at the contact. “We should head back-“

“No Dina it’s fine. Im ok, Really I am. I’m just a little disoriented. We gotta go see what that was anyway.”

“What about your back and your head? Be honest how bad does it hurt? You landed pretty hard Y/n/n.” I furrowed my brows wondering what that faint noise I kept hearing was and hoping it wasn’t just in my head. “Shhh do you hear that?” I asked dina as I turned my head in the direction I heard it. Stretching my neck towards the noise in attempt to hear better I finally realized it was faint pained whining I was listening to. Whatever blew up hurt some poor animal. Who the hell set traps up around here anyway? Couldn’t of been anyone from Jackson because they would know not to do this so close to home unless they were a complete idiot. Huh.....i guess in that case it probably was someone from Jackson. “I can hear it now. I can go check it out on my own. I don’t think you should be moving too much right now. What if you have a concussion?” Pressing my now gloved hands to the sides of her face I looked into Dina’s brown doe eyes. She had the kind of warm gaze that could set you on fire if you looked too long. “Hey! Stop with the worrying! I’m completely fine. In fact the soreness has set in now and that means the healing can begin. I’m all good baby, probably a little bruised but still good.” She gave me and unsure look and she started to carefully help me off the ground. As we dusted the snow of f our bodies I paused to let out a sharp whistle. I waited patiently and hopped Opal was near by enough to hear me calling her back to us. I also took the time to ask the universe or whoever would listen to keep her safe if their where any more of those traps laying around. If she hadn’t ran into one already and met an unfortunately explosive fate. These thoughts disappeared and turned into ones full of gratefulness and joy as my old friend trotted up. Reaching out to pet her muzzle I smiled and welcomed her back with a treat from the bag attached to her. “ I knew I could count on you girl. Don’t go running off like that again ok?” she neighed and flicked her head up, nudging my hand off in the process. Choosing to interpret that as an astounding ‘yes ma’am’. I slid my foot in the stir, hopped up and rested back down on her sleek black saddle. Grasping the paint covered horn gave me flashbacks of the day I had the idea for Ellie,Dina and I to decorate ours together. I said it’d make us stand out and our horses would feel special. Making our bond with them that much stronger. And like gramps always says “An appreciated horse is a dependable one”. They both laughed at me but agreed none the less. I know they thought my reasoning was silly but just wanted to spend time together. Shaking the memory off me and dina approached the source of the persistent whining a block or so away from where we first started. Their lay a dog missing its left front leg. A clicker lay a meter across from the pup, missing its bottom half. The bits and chunks of both of their limbs splattered all over the blasted through sidewalk. Coming to a stop in front of the canine, me and Dina hopped off our animal companions sharing a sad look. Bringing our attention back to the suffering animal that was using the uninjured part of its body to scuttle away from us in fear. I understood as we where the unknown and the poor thing was already frightened and in pain enough. Turning to me Dina’s face shifted into worry. “What are we gonna do?” I looked at her eyes only, having grown tired and sick to my stomach at the sight of the harmed creature long ago.

Taking a deep breath and pumping myself up with a false sense of bravado, I responded to the girl. “We have to help it. We have to put it out of its misery.” Taking yet another deep breath I slowly stepped closer to the panicking probably former pet. Despite feeling nauseous and unsteady on my feet I bent down and kneeled next to the animal. Placing my gloved hand on its panting belly giving reassuring rubs. The dog calmed at this. It’s tail wagged slightly as it let out a collection of whimpers. It’s eyes pleading with me for some sort of relief. I slipped my knife out of my back pocket and brought it to the canine’s throat. As I started to apply pressure my hands began to shake. Tears blurred my vision as the dog made a pained noise. Snatching the knife away as soon as I heard the sound I slipped it back into my pocket in defeat.

I brought my hands up to my face and silently cried into them as I realized I couldn’t do it. I still couldn’t do it even when the damn thing was practically begging me to. Dina rushes to my side and wrapped her arms around me from behind. Bringing her lips to my ear she gently whispered to me. “Hey it’s ok you don’t have to. I got this.” Leaving a kiss behind in the area. She slipped my knife back out and moved in front of me copying my previous actions. The only difference would be the unsettling squelch I heard from the knife entering the hounds throat. It let out one last pained howl as it left this plane. I hated how it affected me, something as small as some mutt who I would of been doing a favor making me so emotional. This is why I don’t do this, this is exactly why I don’t kill. I have many strength and not to brag but few weaknesses. This being a big one. I simply can’t handle it. And if that makes me weak so be it. I know it scared Ellie and Dina how...fragile I can be sometimes but I can’t help it. But I’m not worried about myself. When it’s my time then that’s just what it’s gonna be. My time.

It’s them I’m worried about, the people I love the most. What if I can’t protect them. I mean that’s what love is right? Wanting to protect someone so bad you’d kill for them, at least that’s what I’ve heard and seen from most of the adults around me. My biggest fear is that Ellie or Dina or even Jesse or gramps get caught in a situation that I have to save them from and I can’t do it cause I’m such a pussy! I’d hate myself for the rest of my life. Dina had turned back to me now. Both of us still on our knees until she picked herself up and held her hand out to me.

Grabbing it and letting her pull me up as I let my thoughts consume me again I barley noticed her getting closer to me. Stepping towards me with her arms open and enveloping me into her warmth she cradled the back of my head with one hand and rubbed my back with the other. I rested my head in the pit of her neck while returning the latter. “Are you ok?” She asked giving me a reassuring squeeze. “No”

She moved to look me in the eyes at this. “Are you gonna tell me why?” Moving her hands to my face and pulling a strand of my hair away from sticking to my lips she waited patiently for me to answer, caressing my cheeks and keeping her soft gaze directed at me. “It’s so hard for me dina. It’s so hard for me yet nobody else even bats an eye. I feel like such a fuck up. I’m just such a waste sometimes. I can’t even do the one thing that we all have to at some point. except oh Yea! I can’t. And some day someone i care about it’s gonna fucking die because of it! Because of me.” I huffed out through the parade of tears marching down my face.

Dina looked shocked and appalled at my words. “How dare you say something like that?! You are not a god damn waste! And nobody is going to die!Who cares if you can’t kill a damn dog or anything else that’s out their?! Do you think it’s not hard on all of us? We may make it look easy but I promise you that you aren’t the only person that feels sick every time they have to take a life. It’s not easy for us, it’s bearable. By the grace of god, it’s just bearable enough that we’ve been strong enough to survive this long. I’m glad you haven’t had to take that next step. Once you make that jump theirs no going back. I swear I’m gonna protect you and make sure you never have to experience that. I promise y/n” Dina shockingly vowed her stern look affirming her words. “Dina you can’t pro-“

“I already did. Now I’ve got no choice not to keep it.” She smirked at me lightening the mood.

“This was a lot. We can finish this trip another time but right now no mater how much you protest,

I’m bringing you back home for a check up ASAP.” She stated this while grabbing my hand and leading me towards my horse. Letting out a dissatisfied groan followed by a “Dinaaaa.” I tried to dig my heels into the earth beneath me, hoping to ground myself and stand a fighting chance against Dina’s nurturing nature. “No, no don’t you ‘Dina’ me. Your getting your ass on this horse and letting me make sure your ok got it?” Helping me get on top of said horse she walked over to Japan and mounted the stallion. Reaching her hand out to me she started to lead the way back home once our hands were firmly connected. We abruptly came to a halt after a few steps with Dina looking back at me expectantly, raising a brow. I furrowed mine at her in question, not understanding what she wanted. “Got it?” She repeated with a smirk.

Rolling my eyes and giving her a smirk of my own “Yes ma’am” I over exaggeratedly answered.

Dina waited for Ellie to come back for days. I imagine she’d sit on the porch with JJ, waiting for her to come through the gate at the far end of the yard. Waiting for Ellie to change her mind - to realize that Dina and JJ were more important than revenge. She glanced at the gate every time she passed a window, just hoping to see the silhouette of the woman she loved. Ellie didn’t change her mind, and Dina couldn’t bear to wait anymore. She couldn’t stay at the farm, because she knew if she did that she would break down every single time she saw the front gate, flutter open and close with the wind. But Ellie wouldn’t be there. Ellie wouldn’t be there because she chose revenge over family, and Dina couldn’t bear to be reminded. 

Tlou 2 - Ellie and Dina Tribute

i love them to death