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pointless soft!abby drabble because i have the day off :3
early mornings like these with abby were your favorite. quiet and healing, the only thing present in the world besides you and abby being the soft sunlight peeking through your blinds. in front of you was a giant window showcasing the outside of the stadium, which now seemed a bit eery thanks to the lack of people.
Why is he not real đ
Summer Blossom
PT3 - Veil Of Petals
masterlist
PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 4
Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it canât happen.
Summery -> You and Ellie were now under the same impression, youâre friends once again, the rough patch of your friendship now supposedly over..if only it was that easy!
This chapter contains -> Heavy with internalized homophobia / A lot of this part is in Reads POV / Angst / Jealous!Reader finally makes an appearance / Cat also makes an appearance đ / Cat and Ellie sorta have a thing / No established relationship but ig itâs implied / Denying of feelings / I describe readers clothing once / Kissing / Lots of confusion / Tensionnnnnnn / Theyâre both convinced that feelings arenât reciprocated / Eventual smut! / (Lmk if I missed anything!!!) /
WC : 8k
(Not proofread)
You were desperate.Â
You knew you put the nail in the coffin with Ellie.
You could easily sense how the atmosphere between you two changed. Sure you were âfriends,â on good pages, but you both felt it. It couldnât help but feel like the two of you were actively stepping over broken glass at the hands of you.Â
You shattered that previous connection as soon as you yelled at Ellie. Agreeing with what the party attendees said, what Jack said. And you wanted so bad to think that maybe a part of that freakout was indeed valid. That the whole situation was the fault of Ellie. But it was just a shitty excuse, something to cover how you actually felt about her. A feeling that you arenât sure youâve ever truly had. I mean, the last thing you wanted to admit is that maybe youâve fallen for a girl.
So you yelled at her without a second thought; you made her feel stupid, gross, like she was the problem. Because to you, that felt easier, far easier than accepting that maybe you not pulling back from her that night, letting your lips rest on her pale skin, mumbling that you were okay with what was playing out actually fucking meant something-Â
You genuinely just wanted to ignore that there was a chance it wasnât all on her. And you knew why. You knew that she was different; from the little moments where she would smile at something you said, it was embarrassing how fast your heart would suddenly increase in pace. Or when her touch would linger, and coincidentally you were hyperaware of anything and everything around you...
Youâd like to think youâre not dumb, but it shouldnât have taken Ellie assuring you that she didnât see you that way, confirming to your face that she never actually had feelings for you, adding on how you were just her best friend; her uttering those sentences shouldnât have made you realize that a friend wasn't all she was. It was laughable, because really, how was that the night where it clicked? You genuinely couldnât wrap your head around that being the moment where you realized you liked Ellie. It was ridiculous.
And now, youâre coming to the realization that the Ellie you liked, that version of her, was gone. And the worst part was it wasnât in the form of her being a dick or ignoring you. She never deliberately treated you differently. She was just more aware of how you two acted together. She didnât lie on your bedroom floor, peeking over your shoulder to get a glance of your book. Rather, she stayed on your bed.Â
Late nights filled with laughs, and often drives also stopped, and even if you wanted to, you couldnât even fucking blame her. Ellie stopped making that effort, and in all honesty, you did too. It was a tremendous shift from the beginning of your friendship, which once felt so light, now felt extremely forced. Like you were trying to fix a broken piece of glass, it was impossible to hide those shatters.
Because fuck, it was to the point where the only time you guys would actually hang out was when Joel would come over to see your father.Â
It was like sheâd be scared to be in your personal space again, and even though you knew Ellie would never tell you, you were fully aware that the outcome of your friendship was your fault. And you werenât even sure if you could fix it.Â
You have a little over a month to spend at your dad's place, and then, soon enough, youâd go back home to your mom's, prepared to pack your bags and leave for college. And it was like a polar opposite from when you first arrived, because despite being desperate in the beginning to leave, you wanted nothing more than to have more time. Try to mend whatever you broke. Yet time was ticking, and you canât stop the inevitable. You were sure to be leaving soon.
As you are lying on your bed, your mind racing with a billion different thoughts, the faint sound of a yell is heard echoing from downstairs. You sigh and sit up, pushing your palms against your mattress. Youâre not even sure if you heard correctly.Â
Much to your dismay, soon enough there was a swing of the door, and your father walked in with a bright smile displayed all over his face. âDo I have to get a megaphone for you?â He chuckles, his voice a little strained.Â
A dry chuckle leaves your lips, quickly having them curl into a smile. With a light shake of your head, you respond, âNo?â You pause and swing your legs over the edge of your bed; you talk as you rise to your feet. âWhat's up?âÂ
âJoel and Ellie are coming over today.â He pauses and then continues. âFor dinnerâand, uh, when Ellie gets here, I just need you two to swing by the grocery store and get some food.â He smiles thoughtfully.
You hate how this one sentence has your body flooding with anxiety; obviously, youâre aware of how you and Ellie have hung out after the lake house; you just didnât want to be trapped in a car with herâŚ! You can already picture the awkward silence, both of you getting rather quiet in uncomfortable situations. And your silence leaves your dad confused; he awkwardly clears his throat before speaking up, eyes on you. âDoes that work on your schedule?â He jokes, offering a different manner. Thankfully, it does help cloud your worries to a certain extent.Â
You just nod, a light laugh leaving your lips. âYesâyeah, sorry, I was just thinking.â You smile at him before turning around to make your bed. Your best attempt to clean up your room before Ellie gets here. Itâs also the moment where your smile instantly fades.Â
Your dad has noticed a shift in your behaviour since the two of you came back from Joel's lake house. Probably even before that.Â
Sure he was aware of how yours and Ellieâs hangouts suddenly stopped, of course being before your father dragged you to the lake house. It was extremely sudden; like as soon as Ellie left Joel sleeping at your house alone, her truck gone, was the same moment where your demeanour changed. Both of yours for that matter. Because of course he saw how you guys talked again after that lake house, but it wasnât the same. You were far more distant with each other, Ellie only coming when Joel would be there to hang out with him. And he couldnât pinpoint why. He just wasn't quite sure why the only person youâve met since you arrived at his farmhouse is now the one he rarely sees you with.Â
It was truly like your mind always has something going on inside of it. Zoning out was now a regular thing with you; every so often, in the middle of a conversation, itâs like the gears inside your brain jammed, like you were experiencing a feeling of mystification.Â
But unfortunately, your dad being your dad, he just doesnât think to mention it. He can only assume you're nervous about leaving your mom to go to college. Dwelling on it. And fuck, how you wish that was all it was.
Roars from outside catch your attention; the distinct sound of a truck pulling up is a telltale sound that Ellie and Joel are here. Your dad faces your back as you make your bed; regardless, he still talks. âLooks like theyâre here!â He says feet trailing outside your bedroom. Quickly hearing how the creaks of the floorboards make their way downstairs.Â
And as soon as your dad is gone, you shut your door and grab an outfit from your dresser, throwing it on as you try your best to fix your messy hair, hoping it now falls along the lines of being decently presentable. And youâre about to head downstairs, opening your bedroom door in preparation, but you stop. Though you canât actually understand what theyâre saying, there are three voices. Joel's, Ellies. And one extra. I mean, you didnât think you were going crazy, but you were almost sure you heard an additional voice, a womanâs to be exact. It sounded soft, less raspy if anything, that being a clear distinction that it wasnât Ellies.
And sure enough, you got further confirmation when you trailed downstairs. A woman was standing right beside Ellie. She seemed maybe a year or two older than you; she had tattoos trailing all over her arms and dark eyes, paired with raven hair. And you stopped to look at her for a few seconds and to say she was pretty; that would be a huge understatement, and without any type of warning, you were now immensely mindful of how you looked.
A wave of self-consciousness passed through you like clockwork.
Ellie's eyes were only on the woman, and you were almost sure she hadn't even seen you walking down the stairs. Not till Joel spoke up, his eyes locked with yours as he stepped forward. âHey kid!â He smiles and continues softly, his accent thick. âYour dad tells me that you here are picking up a few things from the grocery store!âÂ
And as Ellie hears Joel talk, she finally pulls her eyes away from the woman, her green irises and soft smile now directed towards you. She awkwardly keeps her hand at her waist and waves at you.Â
You feel like you have to force your eyes off of her, trying to give your full attention to Joel as you turn his direction, you give him nod to confirm what he said, of course paired with an awkward smile.Â
And as you finish your sentence, you're locking eyes back with Ellieâs green ones. You give her a soft smile, waving your hand back at her.Â
You try to ignore how the womanâs eyes haven't left Ellieâs side profile, like she's still trying to pin her attention. Although you feel a pang of uncomfortability hit your chest, you manage to talk, an unfamiliar ache staining the area right after. âYeahâwith Ellie, I think?âÂ
Ellie nods softly at you. And in what's coming, consistency, she looks right back at the woman. The same girl whose name you don't even know...! âAre you going to come with us? To the grocery store?âÂ
Fucking Christ. You look at the girl, then right back at Ellie. Who even is this, and why is she even in your dad's house? Why was she in the car with them? There are a thousand questions going through your mind. I mean, you literally saw Ellie less than a week ago; there was never even a mention of this woman? ... I mean, of course she didnât owe you that; you just assumed sheâd tell you.Â
And itâs like Joel catches your unease and discomfort because he nudges Ellie lightly, directing his eyes towards your face; this has Ellie's eyes following, of course landing straight on you. She reads your confusion, leading her to quickly clear her throat; she manages to mumble out a shitty introduction. âShitâsorry, this is Cat!âÂ
Joel smiles and talks, looking at you, then at your dad. âSheâs staying with us for about a week, helping me with tasks around the farm! Right before summer ends!â He looks back and forth between you, Ellie, and Cat.Â
The tension in the room eases to a certain extent; I mean that was better than what you were leaning towards. Yet it only further confused you in why she and Ellie seemed soâŚclose? You didnât really understand why Cat seemed so entrapped by Ellie's mere presence, but you tried to ignore it. Itâs not your business.Â
Ellie absently leans back and forth on her heels for a solid second; she looks at you and Cat. The silence now stretching for what feels like hours. She clears her throat before speaking. Eyes trailing back to the raven-headed girl, âWe can head out now...?â Ellie looks at you. âIf that's alright with you guys?â
You just nod and mumble out a quick âMhm,â your hand moving to pick up your pair of shoes, sliding them on both of your feet. Ellie doesnât necessarily wait up for you, her feet moving out the door before you even get on your second shoe. And of course neither does Cat.
Itâs literally like she's some parasite stuck to Ellie, yet itâs like Ellie enjoys her presence! Like she doesnât care that some woman is following her around...!Â
And now, youâre of course getting the feeling that they donât want you there.
Cat ended up taking the passenger seat without a second thought, so it left you in the back, alone.Â
Now leaving you to watch as they interacted with each other.
Ellie would turn back every so often; she wanted to try and include you in their conversation, but you genuinely didnât understand half the shit they were talking about. It was all about work, specifically work in the farm department, so for half the car ride you were just sitting there awkwardly! You already werenât excited to be in a car with Ellie, but now youâre in a car with Ellie and some woman youâve never fucking communicated with.Â
You tried your best to push down your judgment on Cat; as the car ride went on, you figured that she seemed nice enough.?
She made Ellie laugh a lot.Â
It reminded you a lot of how the two of you sounded before everything went down, and now youâre wondering if you had never freaked out on her that night, maybe that would be you in the front seat, making her laugh at stupid inside jokes. That feeling of reminiscing almost made this whole situation worse. It made you feel fucking sick to your stomach.
I mean anyone with a pair of eyes could see Ellie was equally as interested in the girl, like she couldnât get enough of her jokes and conversation; you havenât seen Ellie like that in a while.
And then the muffled sound of Cat's voice shatters through your train of thought, âSoâŚhow old are you?â Cat turns around in the passenger seat, eyes locking with yours.Â
You pause, your eyes moving back and forth between her pair... âW-what?â You look at your hands nervously, shifting them back up at her as you finish your sentence. You couldnât understand why you found this woman so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact she asked you a question as you were staring off into space.Â
Or maybe how sheâs had Ellieâs attention almost the whole drive...!
Cat just simply chuckles and looks at you, her dark eyes looking at your confused face, âJust asked how old you were?â She looks at Ellie and sorta laughs. Ellie's eyes shift to look at her, eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiles, cheeks noticeably turning pink before her gaze focuses back on the road.Â
You look at the two of them and fight the urge to roll your eyes. Itâs getting a bit theatrical at this point; no way looking at someone has Ellie's cheeks turning fucking pink. âIâm 18.â You look at Cat, clearing your throat in the process. âYou?â
She smiles as she directs her attention back at Ellie. âShit, Williams, didnât realize you hung around 18 year olds?â Sheâs obviously kidding; youâre not stupid; you can tell sheâs making a joke, but it was fucking dumb; Ellie was 19 for fuck's sake! âShut up, man.â Ellie chuckles and looks at Cat for a solid second, eyes swiftly moving back to the road.
Cat talks and smiles, âIâm 21.â She chuckles, replying to your unanswered question. You watch as she looks straight back at Ellie. Itâs like they couldnât pull their eyes away from each other.
And you canât get over how different Ellieâs acting is, like sheâs trying to put on a show for some audience. However, the only audience is some chick. Like sheâs throwing on some cool facade? Itâs weird to say the least; Ellie never acts like this, at least she never acted like this when she was around you.
It makes you want to leave the car. Getting increasingly uncomfortable in the small atmosphere, you feel like they donât want you there. Plus, the small comment on your age made you embarrassed.Â
You just reply to Cat with a simple nod.
And itâs like your prayers are answered because the car finally parks in front of the store. You immediately unbuckle your seatbelt and open the trunk door to get out.Â
And youâre starting to think maybe you were wrong; maybe Ellie was still mad. And sure, she had the right to be? But fuck, you were just in serious need of your friendship going back to normal; you hated being whatever this was.Â
The worst sting so far was the fact Ellie didnât even hesitate to open Cat's door for her, in the meantime practically ignoring you. You observe the two of them for a few seconds, neither of them even paying mind that you were in fact also in the car.Â
You awkwardly watch as Cat tilts her head at Ellie, batting her eyelashes at her, as if she is starving for some sort of reaction. And a reaction she gets, because almost instantaneously, Ellie's cheeks stain a light pink. Cats hand now trailing her forearm, of course where her tattoo is.Â
Youâre grateful for the open surroundings of the parking lot. It genuinely made leaving them and walking straight to the grocery store easy, you having zero intent to wait up for them.Â
As you were looking for your items, your head kept glancing at the list your father provided; you tried to distract yourself with literally anything. The sounds, the environment, anything that now surrounds you, and unfortunately nothing fucking worked; itâs like you could get your mind off of stupid Ellie.Â
And it was ludicrous, outlandish even. She could even lock eyes with you for more than 30 seconds, yet youâre over here in a grocery store fully ready to cry, a familiar burn in your throat appearing.Â
Ellie's soft voice has your train of thought snap, âSo? What are we looking for exactly? She asks, green eyes on you as she smiles softly. You look around; you see Cat not too far away; sheâs fully distracted talking to a worker; your best guess is her trying to find something.
You stare at Ellie for a few seconds, your hand moving itself as you hand her the list, intentionally trying to avoid making conversation with her. Ellie watches as you conveniently ignore her presence, in the sense that you wonât talk to her. That simple action makes her frown.Â
âYou alright?â She mumbles, awkwardly clearing her throat as her eyes donât peel away from your figure. You look back at her, eyes finally locking as you nod. âIâm fine.â You say, your voice strong with the tone of confidence. Itâs almost like youâre not only trying to convince Ellie thereâs nothing wrong, but also yourself.Â
You grab a few items from the list, pulling your eyes away from her, actively trying to distract yourself, way better than focusing on how Ellieâs shoulders deflate, catching the fact that you lied to her face.
Her eyes go soft, nodding softly at your response, hands trailing into her pockets.Â
She doesnât even understand; are you mad at her? Because thatâs all sheâs thinking, her mind is racing, trying to come up with any explanation as to why you suddenly seem annoyed by her. And just as she was about to talk, completely prepared to ask you once again if you were actually okay, Cat walked over in queue, her hand moving straight to Ellieâs shoulder. âYou guys okay?â She asks softly; it seems like a general question directed to the both of you. But you see how her dark eyes trail to only focus on the auburn-haired girl. Itâs clear to see Cat doesnât actually care about what you're currently feeling. Clearly just trying to be polite.Â
Ellie looks at you rather than Cat; her eyes are trying their best to read you, and for once she doesnât care how she has Cat's arms on her. Ellieâs gaze lingers on you for an excessive amount of time; she notices how Cat's arms tighten slightly; however, to Ellie, it feels like nothing else at this moment matters. Her eyes are pleading with you, begging for you to break down this newly built wall. It makes the air feel heavy.
You both feel it...
You pause and clear your throat, picking up one of the final items you need. âIâm fine.â You spit out, your eyes shifting towards Cats; you again have to force yourself to look away from Ellieâs green irises. Because once again you noticed that desperate look in her eyes, trying to understand what she might have done to upset you.Â
It never wavers either, even after you left the grocery store, all three of you getting in Ellieâs truck, journeying back to your dad's place. Her newfound concern has your chest tighten. The car ride back has a huge shift, everyone in the car growing more quiet than usual; you avoid talking as best as you can, eyes constantly glancing to your hands.Â
It didnât feel extremely long, the car pulling into the driveway shortly after you zoned out. It felt almost like your body moved itself, unbuckling yourself from the seatbelt, opening the car door to land on the ground, the soft crunch of the gravel falling under each pair of feet. The familiar sight of your dad's home offered some comfort, especially after being in a car with Ellie and Cat for so fucking long.
You were the first to enter your dad's home, creating some much-needed space between the pair. As you drag your feet through the home, you hear the sound of Ellie and Cat talking. You also catch the exhausted sigh Ellie lets out, and as you turn back, you see Cat leaning over into Ellie, brushing over her arm as she mumbles an incoherent sentence.Â
You donât stop to listen; instead, you continue with the grocery bags in your hand, and you try your best to pretend the tightening in your chest doesnât increase. Instead, distract your mind by joining Joel and your father outside on the porch.Â
Your dad quickly notices you walking outside and quickly smiles, stopping his conversation with Joel. âTook you long enough, kid.â He jokes a chuckle leaving his mouth. You see Joel snicker, a beer resting in his hands. You just roll your eyes, talking softly. âYeah, well next timeââ you push the grocery bags in his chest, âyou can get it yourself!âÂ
Your dad jokingly puts up his hands defensively; you look at him for a few seconds, mouth open, as you are about to talk. Yet the sound of the door sliding open caught your attention, your own eyes now peering behind you.
By the time Ellie and Cat join, you hear their chattering, wellâŚmainly just Cat's! You see Ellie positioned right behind her, her green eyes flickering towards you, now desperately trying to catch her gaze. You notice it, and you ignore it, turning around to look right back at your dad.
Ellie sighs. She stops for a few seconds; itâs hard to understand what the fuck is wrong when you refuse to even talk to her. And in that moment she hesitantly turns towards Cat, her voice soft as she speaks. âShitâI think I left my keys on the counter. Do you mind?â Ellie says, eyes partially on Cat, and in a swift motion flicking back towards you.Â
Cat nods; from your position, you canât hear what she says, but soon enough the door is sliding open, closing only a few seconds after.Â
Ellie lingers at the doorway for a few seconds; sheâs currently trying to psych herself up. She didnât get why she still cared so much about your interpretation of her; you guys are just good friends. She knows that now. And plus, she has Cat, someone who sheâs 90% sure likes her.Â
Regardless, nerves get the better of her, so sheâs currently standing awkwardly with her hands stuffed into her pockets; it probably doesnât help that her gaze is literally burning into your figure, only making her even more fucking nervous. She clears her throat and murmurs a short âFuckâ feet now moving towards you, the porch creaking with each step.Â
âHey...!â She taps your shoulder lightly, her voice soft and careful. As you turn around, she watches as your gaze lingers on her face, not uttering a word. And thatâs what sends Ellie into a state of panic; it was dramatic, sure, but you being completely silent makes Ellieâs heart increase in pace, that leading her to speak once again. âAre you alright? You just seemâ She stops as soon as she sees a long sigh leave your lips, eyes closing as if you are exhausted.
It takes you a few seconds to push some words out of your mouth, and as you do, your voice takes a tired tone. âWhy do you keep asking me that, Ellie? I'm fine.â It comes out a tad bit harsher than intended, and you watch as her face shifts, starting to materialize with a sad frown. She just awkwardly clears her throat, her hand coming to rub the back of her neck. âI donâtâI donât know?â She stutters, her voice wavering; she's starting to wonder why she constantly bothers; itâs so clear you donât fucking need to be checked up on. She doesnât understand why she canât get that easy information through her head.Â
âIâmâIâm sorry... but I'm fine?â You look at her, your voice now soft as you softly reassure her, both of you looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds. For those few seconds, it feels like it used to. Ellieâs green eyes shining in the sun. You always liked how they looked, something you've never thought to even tell her, and maybe if it was like it was before, you would tell her.
You notice how her eyes are bouncing back and forth between your pair; she clears her throat out of nervousness, looking down as she says her next sentence. âLike, are you mad at me or something?â She asks, instantly awaiting an answer once it leaves her lips.Â
You pause for a few seconds; your initial response is to completely deny it, because truthfully youâre not mad at EllieâŚYou donât think you are? And shockingly, a large part of you wants to tell her the truth. But the fact that those words feel like theyâre burning in your throat makes you second-guess that decision. In all honesty, it feels like youâve hardly even accepted it yourself; you are sure you like Ellie, but admitting that out loudâno way...
Youâre about to talk, taking a long, deep breath, eyes searching for hers. You want to try your best to lay it all out. Maybe give her a watered-down version of your feelings; that way it may not feel as scary. Itâs simple enough to say the night in your bedroom meant something, where you laid your head on her chest, falling asleep in each other's arms. That doesnât necessarily mean you like her? It just means that maybe that night didnât need to be deemed as some mistake.Â
âEllieââÂ
As you attempt to speak, the sound of the door sliding catches both of your attention. The dark-eyed girl comes outside, her body moving straight towards Ellie, arm instantly looping around hers. She didnât even stop to acknowledge the fact that you were just talking, and without a second thought, she spoke. âCouldnât find your keys on the counter, sorry ElsâŚâÂ
However, Ellie's gaze never leaves your face, and without delay, Cat notices. She sees how it falls on you, like the auburn-haired girl canât pull her eyes away from you. And itâs like Cat noticing that; it only made her hold onto Ellie tighter, her hand trailing back and forth on Ellieâs forearm. Like sheâs looking for a reaction. And although you feel one, you donât let it show on your face, leaving it carefully neutral; it wasnât as hard as you thought to act like you hadn't even noticed.
You see how Cat shifts slightly, a soft smile present on her face; itâs subtle, and it makes you wonder what sheâs even trying to convey, and you know that this smile isnât the result of holding Ellie. You see how she's staring right at you! And it makes you confused, because someone who seemed nice in the beginning is now seeming like a burden to have around, and sure sheâs EllieâsâŚfriend, but it appears like sheâs doing it on purpose. Intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable!Â
And although it seemed obvious to you, Ellie, on the other hand, is completely oblivious. Or at least she's pretending to be; her eyes are still locked on you with an inexplicable amount of intensity, like sheâs still awaiting your answer to her question. You watch as her lips part, as if sheâs about to talk. You even believe she might, yet not even a second later her lips close and she turns, her green eyes now looking straight at Cat. âAhhâŚokay, I think I may have just misplaced them.â Ellie smiles sweetly, clears her throat, and continues. âSorry for making you look.â
Cat shakes her head and smiles. âItâs not a problem.â
And thatâs how it often went. Two quickly became three. If Ellie was at your dad's place, so was Cat. Like they were connected, interlinked in a way.Â
And to say it was awkward, thatâd easily be putting it lightly. You felt like an unintentional third wheel constantly...! You watched as Cat made it a point to only talk to Ellie, regardless of whether she was in your space! It was comical really; you could be in your bedroom with the pair, and somehow, the conversation would always revolve completely around Ellie. It was as if you were invisible, or maybe some convenient backdrop to their little inside jokes.Â
And as always, that's what was happening tonight.Â
You would watch as Cat's eyes would always occasionally flicker towards you, as if she was making sure you were still watching as they bonded together; youâd also watch as they would immediately move back to Ellie, like some magnetic connection. Maybe it was dramatic, but even sitting in your small room, it felt like you were miles apart from them. Like you couldnât break into their invisible thread that seemed to entrap them.Â
And it wasnât even like you wanted to be the centre of attention. It wasn't even about thatâŚ? But it was so hard not to notice how they were always talking, and you were just there; it felt like the hangouts were pointless. It was difficult to act like it wasnât a big deal. And you knew that they were friends after all. You haven't seen them do anything other than light touches, which were always initiated by Cat. And you knew their closeness was not something to be threatened by; plus, Cat left in a few days anyway, her week with Joel quickly coming to an end.Â
But knowing that made you sad, and not because of Cat; you were sad because you knew you were shortly after. After she was gone, you had less than a month to spend at your dad's house, and not dwelling on that became an impossible task.Â
âDo you mind grabbing the drinks from Ellie's truck?â Cat says cutting off your train of thought. You stay silent for a few seconds, not only out of habit, but you werenât even sure if she was talking to you; it takes Ellieâs eyes flicking towards you to understand that it was indeed a question directed at you. Your silence is what makes Cat chuckle, heat rising to your cheeks without missing a second.Â
âRight...â you mutter, the words barely escaping your lips as you swing your legs over your bed. Cat is already turning her head, presumably to go straight back to meet Ellie's eyes, ready to spike up more conversation. It makes you sigh softly, your legs feeling heavy as you attempt to start moving forward. All you really want to do is leave your bedroom; being in a space with Ellie and Cat is starting to feel suffocating. The task already felt hard enough; your movements haltered and slow, it only got worse as Ellie stood abruptly, standing in front of you, which ends up blocking your path.
You look at her for a few seconds, your mannerisms expressing your clear confusion. Ellie's eyes are staring intensely at you, every so often looking back and forth between you and Cat, Cat's body still sitting on the floor. Ellie's silence comes to an end as she manages to spit out a stuttered sentence: âN-need a hand?âÂ
Cat's face immediately drops as Ellie talks, silently trying to express her distaste through her eyes; luckily, it doesn't work. Ellie doesnât even notice Cat's dark eyes on her; all she can focus on is the girl in front of her, the girl who is you. When Ellie looks at you, she suddenly understands why your opinion of her still mattered so much. Itâs hard to lose those feelings immediately, even after how persistent she was to lock them away.
Her gaze makes you nervous, eyes trailing to your bedroom door behind Ellie. You pause for a few seconds before attempting to break past her figure, all while forgetting there was still a girl on your floor, actively watching the both of you. Your voice comes out short as you move hastily, âIâIâm fine, Ellie. Thank you, though.â
Ellie quickly shakes her head, cutting you off as she makes eye contact with you once again. âNo, no, I donât mind. The cases are heavy, so...! She says awkwardly as she opens your bedroom door, and Ellie watches as you walk out of your bedroom door; it was clear that Ellie wasn't taking no for an answer.Â
You turn around, watching as Ellie mumbles something to Cat. Cats face expressing nothing but a sour expression, she seems mad at Ellie, or maybe even you. Regardless, it doesnât take long before Ellie leaves Cat alone in your bedroom; a part of you wants to feel bad, but then again, Cat clearly didnât when she left you out of conversations.Â
Ellie is quiet as she walks down the creaky stairs of your dad's house. Truthfully, both of you were doing your best to keep quiet; maybe it was out of awkwardness.Â
She is trailing behind you, keys jiggling as she grabs them out of her pocket. And finally she talks, breaking that wall of tension both of you previously had up. âCat leaves in 2 days, you know?â Ellie says softly, opening the door as you both trail outside. She unlocks her car, quickly grabbing a case of alcohol that Cat purchased.
âYeah, but who's counting?â You joke, your eyes locking with Ellie's. Your manner has both of you ease up, stepping into territory that felt like how it was before that night. You watch as Ellie's lips curl into a soft smile, a chuckle leaving her lips as her eyes light up slightly.Â
You instantly let out a soft sigh of relief; you weren't sure if she was going to laugh at your words. Both of you have been stale, so that little chuckle felt like endless confirmation that maybe it wasnât doomed, your friendship that is.Â
âI was just lettinâ you know!â She says, pausing as she thinks of her next words carefully. Her own mind drifting away from the woman who is still inside waiting for the both of you to return. âThereâs a lake you know...?â A quaver in her voice as if she's nervous.Â
You glance at her for a few seconds; youâre curious, maybe even a little intrigued. âA lake?â You dampen, eyebrow raising at her words. âLikeâŚa secret one, or one I just didnât know about.â The pause between the two of you lingers; it almost feels like Ellieâs opening up again, like the doors you were sure you sealed shut are starting to be pushed open, like those cracks are becoming visible once again. You both feel it.Â
âHow many lakes do you know about?â Ellie tilts her head, a grin on her face as if she's challenging you. Her words make you laugh as you shrug, your voice coming out light as you stare at each other. âI don't knowâjust what's so cool about this lake?â
âI donât know; itâs quiet. Peaceful, if you will?â Ellie talks, a stupid smirk on her face as she says the last four words, eyes flickering down to the case of alcohol, promptly being held up in her two hands. âI mean, itâs a little out of the wayâŚâ She continues, eyes moving back to you. âBut literally no one ever goes there; we could check it out.â Ellie smiles as she looks at you, nervously rubbing the back of her neck.Â
âOkay!â
Three days later you guys do end up going out to that same lake Ellie mentioned.Â
You found yourself sitting in Ellie's passenger seat of her truck; you genuinely couldnât remember the last time it was just the two of you in this car, not being forced upon awkward circumstances. Granted, it wasnât like it wasnât awkward; the two of you didnât really know what to talk about. Even so, the soft hum of the engine and the cracking of the radio filled the unwanted silence, which was nice.Â
Cat being gone also felt like a breath of fresh air, the weight lifting off the space of you and Ellie. You really didn't realize how heavy the tension had been until it was gone; she was gone. Catâs presence did always seem to hover, like she was lingering in a possessive sense. Her gestures always being small yet noticeable. Her hands always finding excuses to be on Ellie's skin, the way she would always inch closer during conversations, she would constantly try to claim attention in ways that made you feel left out, regardless of being the person who had been there first.Â
The sound of Ellie's car pulling over to the side caught your attention, quickly snapping you out of your long train of thought. The tires were slowly crunching as they came to a stop; her car was now idling, sitting on a dirt patch beside the water. The lake stretches out before you; it was calm and still, the trees on the far side reflecting on the water. It felt like a place that demanded a slow breath, almost like it could wash away everything if you let it.Â
âWell...!â Ellie said as she killed the engine to her truck. She opened the door and hopped out of her truck; the dust below Ellie settled as she swung her legs out, planting them firmly on the ground. You watch as she makes her way to your side of the truck, hand reaching for the door as she opens it for you. That little moment had the air change for you. âThis is it!â She almost sounded tentative, but there was a flicker of something else, something you hadnât heard from Ellie in a while. Hope, maybe? Reminiscences of desire for normalcy, itâs something that has been missing between you two for so long.
âThis is it!â You repeat, your eyes locked on her as you step out of her truck. âItâs beautiful.â You say eyes locked on the water as you take it all in. The shine of the stars was clearly reflecting on the water; it was all so pretty.Â
Ellie stood next to you for a few seconds, quiet at first as she took in the sight in front of her. Slowly she turns her head, eyes locking with you. âIt is, isnât it?â She smiles, the shine of the moon illuminating her eyes. You watch as her eyes move off of you, missing the moment where your cheeks tint a light shade of pink. Youâre almost grateful she missed it.Â
Surely sheâs doing this on purpose... Thatâs all you can think, the realization making your head spin. And you really couldnât help but stare at her for a moment. Caught in the sincerity of her expression. Again, a look you havenât seen in her in a while.
âSoâŚâ Ellie says, breaking the newfound tension, her voice a little louder as she says her next sentence, âAre we going swimming?â She spits out, her eyes fixated on the lake in front of the two of you. Her tone is almost casual, with no teasing edge to it.
âSwimming? Ellie I didnât- you never even mentioned swimming. You spit out, eyes struck with clear confusion.Â
Ellie shrugs, a smile present on her face, specifically forming in the middle of her face, framing at the corner of her mouth. âUm, itâs a lake? I sort of assumed youâd get the memo." She laughs softly.
You glance from the water to Ellie; you try to process her words. Sure, the offer seems inviting; the lake is calm and clear, but itâs not like you brought a bathing suit, plus the idea of jumping in freezing cold water was unsurprisingly uninviting.Â
âHold on?!â You raise your hand; despite the raised voice, your tone is not serious, a clear smile written all over your face. âYou came here to what?- swim? After all that talk about it being peaceful and quiet?â You look at her with an amused expression; you have to force yourself not to laugh at her. âPlus itâs almost midnight, not exactly âperfectâ swimming weather.â
Ellie smiles and shakes her head proudly, her legs moving fast as she gets to the edge of the water. âItâs perfect swimming weather if you ask me!âÂ
âTurn around!â Ellie says hesitantly, her voice strong with undertones of embarrassment. Voice going soft and quiet. Bashful even.
âWhy?â You ask, your voice instantly betraying your confusion.Â
Ellieâs gaze flickers to the side, avoiding yours for a moment, before she groans in frustration. âJust! Turn around!âÂ
Your movements grow slow as you process her words, still not entirely sure as to what she's up to. Your eyes flicker to Ellie as she shifts her weight from one foot to another, clearly anxious. Those mannerisms make you fold, so you listen, turning around slowly.Â
After a few moments you hear the sound of fabric rustling, followed by the sound of a heavy drop hitting the ground. And suddenly you feel frozen.Â
Your heart genuinely feels like it stops for a few moments, completely caught off guard. Your brain is trying to process the fact that Ellie seems to be getting out of her clothes right behind you.Â
You hear the soft sound of splashes not coming too long after her clothes hitting the ground, and finally Ellie speaks once again. âAlright! Turn around!â Her voice is also a little shaky, leading you to take it as sheâs nervous too; that factor makes you feel better. A breath of relief leaving your system.
You try to steady yourself, now breathing slowly, as you move your body at sloth speed to turn around and see Ellie.Â
Youâre silently thanking the fact itâs night, the dark sky acting as a blanket over everything, the stars twinkling above, making you feel like theyâre also watching this scene unfold. Soon enough you see Ellie swim closer into shore. âOkay, your turn!â Ellie shouts, looking at you, her sentence leaving you awkwardly standing. âWhat?!â You laugh out, No way. No way you're doing all this shit in front of Ellie.Â
âThe water feels amazing!â She yells out, splashing around with her arms as if sheâs trying to prove her point. At the same time trying to calm her own nerves!
You stare at her for a few seconds. âYouâre insane.â You laugh softly, your heart rate now starting to calm down. The idea of being in front of Ellie with nothing but underwear and a bra seems terrible, far too vulnerable.Â
Ellie thinks for a few seconds, going quiet. âLook!â Ellie shouts, her figure now standing up in the water. You watch as she visibly turns around, as if sheâs trying not to make this feel as weird as it does. And you do hesitate, eyes moving to the water below then to the starry night.Â
âItâs nice in the water, I promise!â Ellie says softly, a smile evident in her tone.Â
You look at her figure from behind, your heart picking back up again as you move your hands to the hem of your shirt. Hands moving above your head as you strip yourself of your t-shirt. The cool air hits your skin, and you feel the need to put back on your shirt, but you don't; you suck it up.
Your hands then move to your shorts, fingers accidentally fumbling with the buttons. The silence between you two is deafening, both under a silent understanding that maybe this moment deserves quietness. And in all honesty, when Ellie heard your clothes falling behind her, her thoughts ended up freezing anyway!
Not too long after ranting about how going in the water was insane, you're now just in your bra and underwear, hesitantly moving to the edge of the shore as you let your legs get covered with the cool water. It is cold but refreshing.Â
âCan I turn around now?â Ellie questions, her voice soft as she breaks through the water's gentle movement. Itâs softer than before, almost hesitant. The sound of Ellie's small movements almost sounds as loud as your heartbeat, which is saying a lot.Â
âMhm.â You mumble out, body still adjusting to the cool water. Itâs up to your chest now, the lake pulling you deeper with each step. Yet itâs not just the water pulling you closer; maybe itâs something else. Like the way Ellie's voice sounds, a little more open, vulnerable, something you again haven't heard in so long before this night. Maybe itâs the fact that youâre both finally here, now in the same space together, the quiet acknowledgment that in this moment, you are both standing on the same ground.Â
You glance over at her and really see her, in one of her most vulnerable forms, the same way sheâs currently seeing you. The moon reflecting on both of your wet skin. You see as Ellie's eyes are fixated on you, the same amount of intensity yours are holding. There are no walls, no playful manner; itâs just really the two of you, laid out on a hypothetical table for each other to see. It makes your breath hitch.
You donât even realize it immediately, but the initial space the two of you had eventually started to fade. The steady rhythm of your breathing, everything is unspoken yet clear; you both have crossed the line.Â
And maybe itâs the lack of words that's encouraged Ellie to make her next move; there's a clear absence in her thought process, but can you blame her? The way you were looking at her, eyes locked on each other. It all came together to make her incredibly delirious.Â
Her body shifts with a small wave of a movement. Her gaze never leaving yours, both of your eyes locked together. It almost seems like she's waiting for something, waiting for you. Itâs silent, yet you both know what is playing out, and suddenly kissing a girl doesnât seem as scary as before.
Ellie doesnât even wait for permission; she doesn't have to. Her hand reaches out to touch your cheek, the other hand moving to graze your arm. You feel her calloused fingers. Her touch is light but unmistakably deliberate. She doesnât pull away, and neither do you. Itâs a simple connection but electric.Â
And without thinking too deeply into it, Ellie closes the gap.
A/N -> after MONTHS part 3 is finally out!!!
I am SO sorry for everyone who I kept waiting, iâve been on the other side of this and I completely understand how annoying it is to wait for someone to continue their series!
I swear life just got insane and Iâve been so so so busy, not the mention the crazy writes block I was going through!
I will make sure the next part doesnât take as long as this one, yet iâm not sure how quick iâll be getting it out.
( I have school, work, and sooo much more so I apologize in advance! )
Ily you all soooo much and thank you for understanding!
(likes and reblogs are always appreciated)
taglist: @diddiqueen @bready101 @mcqueeferson (canât tag some ppl!)

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For everyone who kept blaming the Fireflies, especially Jerry, for saying theyâd sacrifice a kid to make a vaccine that might not even workâŚwell, guess what? Itâs finally confirmed that they actually wouldâve succeeded in creating a vaccine. suck it! đââď¸
What if? đšThe legend of Usđ§ââď¸đ¸â¨
www.instagram.com/zelfantazy
imagine ellie and dina having a snow fight with jj who's older now and can actually throw snowballs and dina goes easy on him!! but ellie just actually loses and gets so competitive so dina's trying to calm her down even though she's fighting against a nine year old!