#tk roles

greg: greg does not ask you on a date. you have to do it. preferably take him somewhere he’s never been. (“How do you feel about Russia?”) NO SIT-DOWN FIRST FEW DATES. he’ll eat takeout with you in hotel rooms if you’d like to count that (i would).

gideon: this is difficult because it’s the 16th century. he’s showing you his bees and pressing flowers for you. zero physical contact from his direction, though you could do some Leaning into him without argument.

simon: he makes you dinner in his flat :3 it’s actually good! and he sneaks his hand across the table to hold yours.

pip!!! meetcute he stabs you in the thigh out of panic <3 no seriously, alright. he honestly just wants to trace his fingers over your shoulders for an hour, but he’ll amp up the effort and have coffee with you in a barnes n noble. you buy books for yourselves (maybe your favorites?) and swap. he learns a lot about you through reading it.

gregson: what is this? 1800s? what did you do then? just avoided the plague innit? i don’t know he tries to show you “cool” supernatural cases and explains why he named it what he did. it’s disturbing but at least he’s happy to share with you.

aitken: it’s a LONG date. an all-dayer. good morning, have you had breakfast? let’s go trail walking. get some lunch, where he asks “paintball or arcade?” and hopefully you pick the arcade (because he’s much too serious about playing paintball). he wins enough to buy you a little toy with his tickets. he’s not touchy, which makes his hand on your back while he adjusts your grip on an air rifle all the more heart-racing. he doesn’t seem to notice (or care?). later, he gets too invested, deafened by plinko, and finally asks if there’s anything YOU’D like to do. he asks about dinner, but you’ve gathered he’s not a restaurant lover. that, and he’s got mud stained shoes. you take dinner in to-go boxes (which annoys the staff) and end up at his flat watching Upgrade. no cuddles. yet.

gosh who else

OH jimbo. well. we know exactly how the date goes so is that necessary 🤨 and he Fucks.

we also know Wonderdate Timmy of course

WIRM LOL: let’s not pretend he’d like to take you on a date. we know how this goes. it’s dinner at a restaurant where he gets hammered and antagonizes the staff. he leaves either no tip or leaves way too much - no in between, but either way he’s calling the waitress sweetheart and she’s fuming. and then it’s on to bad sex with a drunken wirm being surprisingly obedient. we KNOW how this goes and we (i) sort of accept it.

O’Dwyer!! wow i haven’t thought about this for a moment. he’s a slut. i don’t know. he gets something doordashed to his cramped, messy apartment that has too low of lighting. he’s quite sweet, but it’s that prom king facade that your gut tells you isn’t true. you don’t really care. he’s nice enough, and when he’s finished with you he checks in once before turning on COD and ignoring you. (oh…)

Lawyer: yeah we know and he’s cheating on his wife while he does it

RAYMOND: raymond… god what does raymond do? brag? chop wood? maybe he “teaches” you some archery skills, but he’s too impatient and you end up just watching him dominate. he means well - it’s all to impress you, but obviously it doesn’t. you may take pity and go for a second date, if that’s your style.

SIDNEY: SIDNEY!!!!!!!!!!! sidney asks you what YOU want to do about 20 times. and whatever that ends up being, you catch him slapping a hand over his mouth too many times for you to ignore. he’s also glancing down at his phone while you speak, typing away. you realize later he was taking notes. you give him a peck before you leave.

jerry… something BORING and LAME like a war museum

CUSTOMER 😻😻🫶🫶 my husband tries to take you for dinner but it’s the most awkward tense and awful disaster and finally he offers to take you somewhere else. probably an arcade/rec room where he beats you in air hockey but wins you a plushie from a claw machine. it’s all awkward, but it’s endearing. (the second date is a movie. you can’t stop talking in the theatre and the people scolding you only make you laugh harder) (you’re menaces.)

sextus: forces you to watch him perform (you think you’re both going to see a play together. you’re wrong.) but at least he’s excited to see you when he’s off. his face is flushed and he’s very smiley and you think this wasn’t the worst date you’ve been on… but he makes you recount your favorite parts while he walks you home.

gary: takes you on his moped to some bad indie movie a “friend” of his probably filmed or acted in. that bit was cute, if annoying. but he takes you for food and asks what you want in a way that makes you say “nothing.” he doesn’t offer you any of his own. he’s not cruel, he’s stupid.

gavin: genuinely lovely? he takes you to some sort of art center with live music from local bands. maybe you watch someone paint on a stage. then it’s a walk through town. he points out small businesses and talks about the families that own them. you probably meet at least one cat. you’re not sure when you started holding hands, but you only notice when he lets go at the end of the night.