#titillation

Chapter 1 Adriana as my private French maid. She gets a very rich pay under a contract specifying she will obey my every command

I like to spy on her doing the chores

After doing the peeping Tom at my leasure, I ask her to look at me and move in a sensual way

Her face is so beautiful and alluring

I take pictures of her and keep them for tonight, when I will jizz over them. I'd never dare do that in her presence

I like to touch her while filming her body and countenances

How nice to touch her tender neck, while she sensually closes her eyes

I can't resist too long before touching her meaty thighs

I focus on her hand as it fondles her leg. She's wearing high heels sandals and frilly socks with bows I bought just for her to please my feet and high heels fetish vein. And note her multicolor nails

Here they are those sinful sandals and socks, with my hand fondling her leg. She knows what I like, so she leans one leg on my thighs while smiling mischievously

She's consciously titillating the whims of an old gentleman. It's odd, bizarre, yet a subtle pleasure develops inside her

She's playing the role she's been assigned, after all, so why not share the bliss?

On my side, I enjoy her taking the lead

Now, my hand is stroking her legs again. Meanwhile, her feet keep stroking my leg

Well, I think it's enough for today. Stay tuned if you like to peep into this extravagant, elderly relationship with beautiful, young Adriana

As a noir parody, you can guess at what level it’ll be pitched by the opening scene, in which Eric Edwards can be seen tripping in silhouette before entering his office. But what I will say is that Edwards, who I mostly associate with playing nice guys even if my favourite roles of his (Dracula Exotica, The Young Like it Hot) have him playing against type, is a lot of fun as a private dick as he sinks his teeth into his hardboiled dialogue. The opening narration gives a good idea of the movie’s pleasures in this regard:

“Dashiell Hammett I’m not, but I can wipe my chin like Bogart. Or hike up my pants like Cagney. As far as Sam Spade is concerned, my mother named me Spado. Spado Zappo’s usual specialty is untying marital knots for guys who finally realize they like the ball without the chain. Or the guy that finds he believes in life, liberty and the happiness of pursuit. As for my philosophy, I believe in wine, women and song. As a private dick, I can keep a clear conscience. Mainly because I have such a lousy memory.”

Most of the dialogue Edwards delivers in between huffs of his cigar, and there’s one scene where he and his partner Randy West are sitting around a table getting drunker and drunker and huffing on cigars and you can practically smell the cigar smoke coming through the screen. Neither is the straight man to the pair, but they have some comedic chemistry as they work their way through the relaxed, obvious but still pretty funny gags the movie trots out. There’s a sequence of events during the final reveal that I wouldn’t dare spoil but got a pretty good laugh out of me.

On top of that, this is a pretty nice looking movie. This is directed by Damon Christian, who I mostly know as a producer on a number of Bob Chinn movies, including the very nice looking Hard Soap, Hard Soap, so unless the cinematography was actually by somebody named “Guido Jewalucci”, I’m gonna give Christian credit here. There’s some handsome nighttime footage and sometimes striking use of shadows and frames within frames, like a sex scene captured in a mirror and another glimpsed through a window. And on a visual level, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the amazing décor of the office of the guy who hires Edwards: framed pictures of breasts, wood panelling, a hidden TV and a bear rug. So obviously this is a good movie.