˜”°•.˜”°• END OF DAY ENTRY •°”˜.•°”˜
went through alot of conflicting emotions today >.< and im just tired of it all, tired of always feeling alone when i know im not, tired of my trauma skewing up my world making it into a false reality ....im trying so hard to be on my own and dont need to be harped about it constantly-
it will always baffle me how parents expect their children to know everything despite sheltering them throughout their lives; the trauma is just inexplicable...also its so hard to find out my application status on paratransit since offices are still closed today? (didnt know that) and they hung up on me the first time because i was on the wrong phone line..that was still rude.
all i wanna know if im accepted or not AND have reliable transport! DAMN. this is so discouraging, and now i feel insecure about this decision because idk ppl are ignorant as hell and at one point of my life i did get on the short bus in school n paratransit is a shorter bus and once my mom said that its for elderly ppl which is not true.
bigger city buses can sometimes be too overstimulating + fixed routes can be confusing so being picked up at my house and having predictable pickup/drop off times help benefits me alot. anywho the only way i cope is through healing my inner child..future me will figure it out lol but for now i cant afford to think rn also i slept way later than i attended due to meds so oof.
cant wait for therapy~<3 and hope i can be in a better n more emotionally safe place.
