#tim drake problems

Tim Drake is chronically online. Like, if the internet had a landlord, he would be the one paying rent. He can find anything—obscure government documents, black-market deals, secret underground fight clubs, and, unfortunately, the forbidden texts.

By forbidden texts, I mean fanfiction. More specifically? The very detailed, very questionable, very steamy fanfiction about the Batfamily.

It started as an accident. He was doom-scrolling at 3 AM, as one does, sipping on his fifth coffee of the night, when he found a fic tagged: "Broody Billionaire x His Devoted Protégé 👀🔥"

Tim thought, Huh. Weird. Wonder what this is about.

Click.

Tim immediately regretted it.

Because it was Bruce. And it was… very descriptive. And it wasn’t just Bruce. It was Bruce and—

OH GOD, NO.

Tim slammed his laptop shut. Took a breath. Reopened it. Because morbid curiosity is stronger than self-preservation.

And that was how he spiraled into the absolute nightmare that was Batfamily fanfiction. There was shipping. There were scenarios. There were pet names. Pet names.

And worst of all? The amount of fics about him.

TIM.

TIM DRAKE.

THE THIRD ROBIN.

People wrote things about him. Steamy things. With other members of the family. And some of them weren’t even that unrealistic, which somehow made it worse.

Tim tried to look away. He really did. But it was like a car crash—you hate it, but you have to look.

It only got worse when he found the self-insert fics. You know the ones. The "Batman adopts me and now I'm part of the Batfamily but also in a love triangle with Nightwing and Red Hood and also I have superpowers and a tragic past but everyone loves me" ones.

Tim read five. For research.

Then he made the mistake of telling Jason.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jason wheezed, practically in tears. "You mean to tell me… you found Batman fanfiction? Like, full-on smutty fanfiction?"

Tim deadpanned. "I found fanfiction of us."

Jason froze. "…Us?"

Tim just nodded.

Jason opened his mouth. Closed it. Then stood up. "Yeah. No. I'm out. I'm leaving Gotham. Forever. Tell Alfred I love him."

And then he walked away.

Tim swore to never tell Dick. Ever.

But Damian? Damian somehow found out.

And that was how Tim woke up one morning to find Damian standing over his bed, holding his laptop, his expression utterly disgusted.

"Drake."

Tim groaned, rubbing his face. "Damian, what—"

Damian turned the screen toward him.

Tim glanced.

It was a fic titled: "Little Demon x Replacement - Forbidden Love ❤️🔥"

It was a slow night at the Batcave. Bruce was going through case files, checking up on Gotham’s most recent criminal activity, when something caught his eye. A small notification popped up on the computer: “New message from Alfred – important.” Bruce paused, stretching his aching back as he reached for the comm.

“Alfred, what’s so urgent that you’re messaging me in the middle of the night?”

“Master Bruce,” Alfred’s voice was calm, but Bruce could detect the subtle hint of something in it, “it appears there has been some... unexpected activity on the Batcomputer. I would suggest you have a look.”

Bruce sighed. “What did they hack now?”

“I believe, sir, you might want to check the files on your own,” Alfred replied, ever the mystery.

Curious and slightly apprehensive, Bruce opened the file. His eyes scanned the screen in confusion. “DC Batboys – Fanfiction Archive.”

“Fanfiction?” Bruce muttered to himself. “I thought we were keeping things secure here.”

Alfred, however, didn't have the decency to mask his amusement. “It appears the Batfamily's... shall we say, 'popularity,' has grown exponentially on the internet. It seems there are a number of creative souls on the world wide web who are, uh, quite enthusiastic about the ‘Batboys.’”

Bruce raised an eyebrow. The Batboys?

He opened the file, and there it was—pages upon pages of “DC Batboys” fanfiction, featuring himself and his children—only, not exactly like his family. The stories depicted alternate realities, some wholesome and lighthearted, others a little... more dramatic. He scrolled, barely able to comprehend what he was reading. There were love stories involving Damian and Tim, romance plots involving Nightwing, and, even more surprisingly, entire chapters dedicated to Bruce Wayne and his sons in... less-than-paternal situations.

It took every ounce of his composure not to slam the computer shut.

He read through a few more lines, noticing the titles of the stories: “Batman and Robin: A Love Untold,” “The Batboys and Their Secret Desires,” “Daddy Bruce and His Sons,” and “Damian and Tim: Forbidden Romance.”

"Alfred..." Bruce said slowly, his voice strained. "What... what is this?"

“Well, Master Bruce, it seems you’re quite the subject of fanfiction,” Alfred answered nonchalantly. “Quite a bit of it, actually. It’s all rather... creative, though it certainly lacks the decorum one might expect of your legacy.”

Bruce’s face was ashen. He closed his eyes briefly, willing himself not to lose his mind. This was too much. But it didn’t end there. To his dismay, there was a folder titled “BTS: Batboy Edition” (which Bruce didn’t even want to know what that stood for), and another called “Batboys After Dark.”

There were plots of their lives, of course—mission scenarios, family moments, but then there were questions—comments from other readers, all about how “realistic” they found these relationships between the Batfamily members. And one question stood out from the rest:

“Do you think Bruce would ever...?”

Bruce stopped reading. He didn’t even finish the sentence. He was already shaking his head in disbelief. Nope. No, I’m not doing this.

“Do you know about this?” Bruce asked, his voice slightly shaken, turning to Alfred, who had silently been standing behind him. The butler simply raised his eyebrow, as though this was all very typical.

“Oh, I was aware, yes. But I thought it best for you to find out yourself. Besides, you’re the one they’re all writing about,” Alfred said with a small smirk. “It is rather flattering, I suppose.”

Bruce stared at the screen. He realized the Batfamily wasn’t just Gotham’s protectors—they were internet icons. He couldn’t figure out whether to be horrified or… impressed?

Jason, no doubt, would find this hilarious. Tim would be amused by the sheer chaos, and Damian would be mortified, just like him. Except for Dick, Bruce thought. Dick would probably just laugh and make a joke about how 'he’s not included in these things enough.'

Bruce decided to leave the Batcomputer, the fanfiction, and the impending “internet fame” behind for the moment. This was a problem for another day.

Alfred handed him a glass of water. “If it’s any consolation, Master Bruce, you are quite... beloved.”