#tickpick

That was a lot of money for me. As someone who is disabled and isn’t able to work a job at the moment. I payed that because I thought I was going to meet my idol. I’m severely depressed and that was genuinely the only keeping me going. I bought such a cute outfit that I thought I’d have fun and be confident in. I sold my ticket in the pit for a worst seat since I thought it was a meet and greet and would be better for my feet and legs. I’m going alone too. I really hate my life.

Hi all! 

Due to some recent (costly) things I’ve had to take care of in the past few months, I won’t be able to go to the Ninja Sex Party ROCK HARD Tour. However, I happen to have a set of two tickets for their concert at the Hard Rock in Orlando, Florida, if anyone would be interested! 

I’m selling them back here, if you’d like to grab them for yourself: https://www.tickpick.com/buy-tickets/3105730/

wow. i’m very unreliable. i don’t really have an excuse for this one. the end of the school year, for me, is inching closer—4 and a half days, not like i’m counting or anything—and even though i’m done with my exams and everything, so there’s no more work-related stress, people are still going out of their ways to make my life miserable—you think i’m being overdramatic, but it’s true, i promise you. i just want the school year to end so that i can be with the people i love who i know aren’t fake friends and who actually give more than two craps about me and my feelings.

anyways, now that we’re done with that mini rant, let’s see….no The Girl updates as of right now.

when i tell you Taylor Alison Swift is the only thing that’s gotten me through this school year, i’m being completely serious. i know she’s had the same experiences as i have (i’m actually listening to The Best Day as i write this), and—CRINGE WARNING—i know that if she were here, she’d probably tell me to just keep going, push through, and then it’ll be over, and i’m home free. so that’s what i’m doing. it’s really hard, though. i cried in front of all my favorite teachers yesterday (the music, art, and dance teachers at my school) while i was telling them about what’s been going on this school year. i just…i feel out of place. people have always said that i’m very mature for my age, but i didn’t realize HOW mature until i met my classmates. the most immature people i have ever met. i have friends, but lately i’ve been finding myself sitting alone in home room and walking alone in PE. walking alone to and from classes. and all of my best friends, who are more like family, are the ones i do theatre with, but none of them go to my school. so i spend 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, being alone, more or less. i’ve never had any forms of anxiety before this school year. but i now have really, really bad social anxiety. i constantly feel like i’m doing things wrong or saying things wrong, and i have to make mental lists of people i know for sure like me, and aren’t fake. i’ve also grown up very dependent on the approval of others, so that’s part of it. most of the time i just listen to Taylor and tune everything else out. i wish that worked all the time.

anyways, thanks for reading my longer-than-expected rant. love y’all!!!!!! byeeeeee!!!!!

hey y'all!! i said in my last post that i was gonna start posting every day, and i promise that i will make good on that from now on, but i went to the beach this past weekend, and i was so busy every day and so tired at the end of every day that i just didn't have time :/ i'm gonna try to post everyday now though!!

so, one tiny update on The Girl: i got her number! we haven't texted that much (yet).

i keep thinking of how, during the Rep tour, Taylor had a few fans come to a secret location to "film a video for her", and then she popped out and hugged them, and she, like, knew their whole life stories because she stalked them online, mostly right here on Tumblr. if y'all couldn't tell from my entire blog, one of my biggest life goals is to meet Taylor in person. if that means getting invited to a secret session, or anything else, i'll do it. this is gonna sound really cringey, but i daydream a LOT, and that's usually what i'm dreaming about. one more thing that's gonna sound even cringier, but i absolutely refuse to give up on this. like, this is part of the reason i'm posting here every day, in hopes that Taylor will see, even though no one else reads them anyways. i'm not gonna beg y'all to reblog or anything, though. if you want to, it would definitely help, but if you don't, okay, it's your choice!! so, if y'all wanna help with this dream, feel free!! i'll keep trying even if no one else is there with me :)

anyways, love y'all!!!!!! byeeeeeee!!!!!!

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