"Only when I smile," he argued. That made Luther chuckle, shaking his head.

"That's kind of the point of dimples. It's not a bad thing, they make you look cute. Restore some of that lost innocence," he teased.

"I don't need to restore shit," Five grumbled, grabbing the pot of coffee. He poured himself a large mug full, only adding a single packet of sweetener.

"You could restore some of those manners Dad taught us," he said, grinning smugly when Five turned to glare at him.

"Maybe you should respect your elders," Five challenged. Luther barked out a laugh.

"That's rich coming from you," he smirked walking up beside him to pour himself some coffee. "You've never respected your elders," he said, ruffling his hair. Five ducked away and swatted his hand.

"They've never earned my respect," he deadpanned, but failed to hide his smirk. Luther threw an arm over his shoulders, shaking his body.

"Luther, whahat the hehell?" he scolded through laughter, not really minding the playful affection.

"Well that's a sound I haven't heard in years. Do it again."

"What are you talking ahahabout! Hehehey quit ihihit!" Five shrieked as his brother dug his fingers into his sides.

"Aww I almost forgot how cute your laugh is!" he cooed, one hand clawing over his tummy, the other climbing up his ribs.

"Just shuhut uhuhup!" he cried out. Luther rolled his eyes and scribbled behind his fingers behind his ears. His knees buckled and he squealed, falling into an endless stream of giggles.

As if summoned, Diego appeared in the doorway.

"Thought I heard Five laughing and had to see for myself." Diego leaned against the doorframe, an amused grin plastered on his face.

"Ohoho piss ohohoff!" Five snapped, though his words held no real malice.

"Well that's rude. Think I need to help Luther here show you some manners," he mused, taking a step closer.

"Nohoho!"

"I wouldn't be opposed. Get over here," he invited, waving their brother over.

Allison’s room could best be described as a bit of a time capsule; posters from the beginning and middle of her career, drawings that she’d made and been gifted as a child, and family photos in the form of newspaper clippings. Going through the drawers and boxes under her bed provided nearly endless entertainment. A small gasp escaped from her grin when she pulled out one specific piece of paper that she’d forgotten about — a somewhat poorly drawn chart that depicted each of the Hargreeves siblings’ most ticklish spots. The tickle fights they’d had as children were sparse, considering they only really had free time for about an hour a week, but damn, were they competitive. This was the cheat sheet that she’d made to always get the upper hand. 

The colored pencil had smudged a bit, but Allison could still make out the faint markings of each of her brothers’ names. She smiled to herself, leaning back on a stack of books to read the chart. They’d been so young then, but she could still hear their laughter echoing down the mansion hallways, as clear as anything. She let out a small laugh at a note in the margin: Ask Mom for acrylic nails before next week.

“Everything okay?” Luther was leaning against her door frame, just a bit bigger than when they were kids, but still with that same kind smile. She smiled back.

“Just reminiscing. Check this out!” She held up the faded piece of paper for him to read.

“No way!” the large figure exclaimed, gently taking the chart from Allison’s hand and sitting on the side of her bed to look at it. “This is from all our —” 

“Tickle fights,” Allison interrupted with a laugh, “yeah. Crazy, right?”

“Yeah,” an awkward chuckle from Luther masked the slight nervousness he felt reading his name accompanied by the bullet-pointed notes: squeeze his calves, scribbles under toes, tops of feet are weirdly ticklish??, kicks a lot. “God, I haven’t been tickled in… years, probably.”

“You were so cute,” Allison giggled, and Luther wasn’t entirely sure that he liked the look she was giving him. “I wonder if this is still accurate.”

Luther cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, um, no way to know for sure, so-”

She had tackled him to the bed before he even knew what was happening. “Only one way to find out.”

She sat across his knees - “You kick, remember?” - and gave one of his calves a squeeze. Luther bolted upright, gasping.

“Um, I think there’s another way to find out! See, I could just tell you-”

“No,” Allison smiled, squeezing again and enjoying the desperate noise her brother made. “I’ve gotta test it to know for sure.”

He got as far as “Wait, Allison, please-” before he was choking back giggles, trying to worm his way out of Allison’s hold as her long nails skated over his ankles. She grinned.

“Okay, so squeezing your legs still definitely works. How about your feet?”

“No!” Luther cried, burying his face in a pillow and nearly squealing as she traced gentle lines over his soles. Allison giggled at the sound, scribbling over his heels and leaning forward to keep his straining legs from kicking.

“Feet are still pretty bad too. Thank God the serum didn’t affect these, huh?” She skittered her nails around the tops of his feet, and Luther let out a screech into his pillow. It was taking all of his strength to not… well, use his strength. 

“You remember that pedicure I dragged you into, right?” she laughed at the memory, and again at Luther’s quick nod into the pillow.

The screech turned into an uncharacteristically high-pitched yelp when Allison held his toes back with one hand, and skittered beneath them with the other. Finally, he’d began to laugh an endearingly childlike giggle. “AH - Allison,” he attempted to catch his breath with a forceful gasp as his massive arms squeezed the pillow to his face, and his legs shook, “Allison!”

Allison laughed at him and his sounds, almost not wanting to stop. “Alright, alright, I don’t want to kill you. Not yet, anyway.” She rolled off his legs to lay next to him on the bed, grinning from ear to ear. “Looks like your weak spots are still the same!”

Luther groaned, trying to catch his breath through the pillow (he wasn’t confident enough in the color of his face yet to look at her). “That was mean.”

“Hey, I was just consulting the chart!”

“You wrote the chart!”

“And I stand by it,” she teased, giving his leg a poke that made him twitch. She grabbed the paper and left the room, satisfied that her victim was suitably tickled out.

Luther rolled onto his back, panting. “Screw that chart.”

—

As she was leaving the room, Allison couldn’t help but notice the absence of Vanya’s name on the chart. It wasn’t a surprising fact. They never included her in anything as children, not even tickle fights. This fact still broke Allison’s heart, but of course, with the opportunity to make up for lost time, it’d be foolish not to take it… right? 

After spotting her much smaller sister reading on the couch, Allison made her way downstairs and plopped down right next to Vanya with a grin. 

Ever since their trip to the 60s, the sisters certainly developed a strong bond. Allison was, quite possibly. the one sibling that Vanya felt the most comfortable with; Klaus being a close second. Her attention drew away from the book in her hands, and towards her smiling sister. “Hey, Allison.” Vanya smiled, setting her book down, saving her place.

“Hey, um,” Allison subtly hid the chart by her other side, raising an eyebrow with a mischievous glint in her eye, “Vanya, are you ticklish? By any chance?” 

“Uh,” Vanya chuckled, shifting awkwardly with a shrug, “I - I think so. I mean, sometimes Sissy would touch my neck and it would feel kinda funny. Like the back, right here?” She touched the back of her neck to show her scheming sister exactly where she was ticklish. Big mistake.

“Oh,” Allison chuckled, not expecting this to be so easy. She sneakily reached her arm around the back of the couch, “Like, right… here?” 

Vanya twitched, letting out something akin to a squeak as her shoulders jumped up beside her ears. “I think - hey!” Her sister had begun tracing wicked fingers along the crease of her neck, her nails sliding effortlessly between the wrinkles to get at the weakest points. Vanya scrunched like a turtle, reaching back to swat at the offending hands, but the light touch made her limbs turn to jelly and her effort was not very coordinated. The endless stream of bubbly giggles, however, was new. 

Allison’s face lit up. “Looks like you are ticklish.”

Understatement of the century. Vanya opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a squeal when Allison’s tickles wandered down from her neck and over her shoulders, sneaking pokes in under her arms. 

“Where else, I wonder…” Allison mused, and slid her hands down her sister’s sides. Vanya’s spine nearly snapped with how quickly she arched her back, letting out a gasp. “Oh, here?”

“Allison, please!”

“Please what?” She tapped a nail on the curve of Vanya’s waist, prompting a high-pitched giggle. Vanya shook her head, seemingly struck dumb by the overwhelming feeling. Another pinch to her side, and she wriggled, curling in on herself. Unfortunately, this left the back of her neck unguarded, and with a smile, Allison reached to tickle her there. 

Vanya squealed. “Please, I can’t - mercy!”

Allison laughed at her sister’s reactions, easing off to just rub her shoulders. “Okay, so, neck and sides? Those are the big ones?”

The sigh of relief that escaped Vanya was soothing. “I - I guess so. I think?”

“Well, I still have more exploring to do, but I can be merciful for now,” Allison replied with a wink. “I’ll add you to the chart.”

“Chart?”

“Yeah, see?” She pulled out the piece of paper. Vanya’s eyes lit up.

“Oh my God, this is adorable. How old were we when you made this?”

Allison smiled. “I don’t know, ten maybe? We used to have these epic battles…” She trailed off, catching her sister’s eyes. “I’m sorry we didn’t - ”

Vanya held up a hand to silence her. “It’s okay. I’m included now.” She raked her gaze over the paper in her hands. “Luther was ticklish on his feet?”

Allison couldn’t stop her laugh. “Still is, I just tested it.”

“Shit, that’s goddamn… cute. All of these are so cute,” she said with a smile.

“Aren’t they?” Allison replied, snatching the paper once again with a cunning smile. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some notes to update and some experiments to run.”

—

It seemed like whenever she saw Klaus, he was always talking to some ghost. Usually arguing with them. Sometimes flirting, you never know. The conversation that Allison walked in on today, however, was definitely not flirting.

“Just shut up, you don’t have a goddamn clue… That’s what I said, you never fucking listen to - Allison!”

She paused in the doorframe, amused. “Am I interrupting?”

“What, this?” Klaus gestured vaguely at the armchair across from him. “Nah, nothing important. Just bonding, you know how it is.” He seemed to disconnect from Allison for a second, listening, and then shot a glare at the armchair. “Dickwad.”

Allison clapped her hand over her mouth at the insult, but not quickly enough to stop the laugh that escaped. Whoever it was, they had pissed Klaus off. “Okay, well, I was just going through some of my old stuff, and I found…” She pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper. “This.”

Klaus’ eyebrows furrowed. “Okay… What is that?”

“A chart I made when we were young, to win those fights we used to have.”

“What fights?” Before Allison could answer, her brother’s gaze flicked to the armchair and back to her. “The tickle fights? You made a… what did you say, a chart?”

She nodded. “It’s detailed.”

Klaus laughed. “So organized! Let me see -” He reached up, but she snatched it out of his grasp. 

“Nope, this is valuable information. But, I could let you see… if you participate in the experiment I’m running.”

Rolling green eyes, Klaus scoffed and lifted his arms up, a playful smile on his face as he looked away. He clearly already knew exactly what these so-called experiments were; perhaps Vanya’s laughter from downstairs was a giveaway. 

A smile played on Allison’s lips. She remembered how Klaus never really hated tickles, and acknowledged the note by his name: asks to be tickled all the time, listed alongside others such as SUPER ticklish armpits, tapped his hips once and he squeaked? maybe he’s ticklish there too? Haven’t tried yet. She laughed, launching her tickling fingers towards Klaus’ armpits, only to be stopped by him slamming his arms down at the last second.

“Sorry, sorry. Instinct,” he smiled, already giggling a bit, before lifting his arms again.

All of a sudden, his elbows shot down towards his hips as he choked on his laughter, “B-Ben! No!” Klaus collapsed to the floor within seconds, kicking his legs and screeching.

Allison smiled. Of course, only Ben could rile her brother up like that. Squinting, she smirked, noticing the placement of Klaus’ slapping hands, “Klaus? Ben’s not getting your hips, is he?” 

The silly noises he'd been making between silent laughter was accompanied by a desperate nod, messing up his long hair.

“Good!” Allison exclaimed, a bubbly tone to her voice, before lowering herself to the floor next to her flailing brother. “What a long overdue discovery.” Her pinch to his left hip felt more real than Ben’s spidery ghost tickles, and he squeaked. Her hands moved quickly, though, to lodge themselves under his arms while he was distracted.

The yelp that left Klaus’ mouth was loud enough to make Allison flinch slightly, but her hands stayed put. “Allison,” he whined, squeezing his arms to his sides as he simultaneously tried to roll away from Ben’s way-too-tangible thumbs digging into his hip bones.

She raised her eyebrows curiously as she twitched her fingers ever so slightly, relishing in the squirms and adorable gasps that followed. 

When Allison began to wiggle all ten of her fingers, plus the other ten digits, both on his worst spots, his eyes squeezed shut as his squeaks and laughs rose yet another octave. Curling in on himself, he shook his head, unable to shake either of his ruthless tickle-monster siblings.

“Tickie, tickie, tickle!” Allison cooed as she laughed along with him.

“What's wrong, Klausie? I thought you loved tickie, tickie, tickles.” Ben’s words were snide and Klaus could practically hear his stupid grin.

High-pitched giggles rolled out of his mouth as he grabbed onto a nearby throw pillow. “Stopstopstop, okay! Okay, jeez!” It was obvious that he wasn't that desperate for the tickles to stop; he really just needed a breather. Klaus threw the pillow in an attempt to hit Ben, but it just phased through him. Ben stuck his tongue out. 

“Asshole,” Klaus grumbled at his invisible brother. Allison laughed again, before leaning over to whisper something into Klaus’ ear. A noticeable smile washed over his face as he looked directly at his ghost brother, crawling towards him.

Ben's eyes widened as he stumbled backwards, falling back onto the armchair. His arms flailed, not knowing how to defend himself since it had been such a long time.  “Nonono, Klaus, what did she tell you? – EEP!” His reaction to Klaus’ quick and repetitive pokes to his stomach was immediate. 

The notes on the chart read really squeaky, ribs and stomach (but be careful!!!), starts begging after mere seconds, & very gullible, so easy to tickle. Ben had always been super easy to trick into getting tickled when they were younger; asking him to reach things in high up cabinets, challenging him to keep his arms up, and tons of tickle hugs.

He hadn’t been tickled since before he died, but it was just as unbearable as he remembered. He couldn’t hold back a squeak as Klaus prodded around the soft area just below his ribs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his blush. 

Klaus threw his head back and laughed. “Awww, I forgot that you were so sensitive, Benny! Guess now we know what’ll happen when you make fun of me, hmm?”

Ben wanted more than anything to snap back at his brother, but couldn’t possibly reply around his high-pitched giggle fit, so he settled on a squeal. “Allison! H-help!”

“She can’t hear you,” Klaus cooed, racing his fingertips up Ben’s ribs to elicit another adorable squeak, clearly amused. 

Allison laughed at the image of her brother kneeling on the floor, ruthlessly attacking absolutely nothing. “No, but I can picture it. Remember those physical exams that Grace would give us?” 

Every month, in order to keep them all in tip-top shape for missions, Grace would perform physical examinations. These exams, of course, included lots of pressing and prodding tummies with her cold robot hands, much to Diego and Ben’s dismay. Diego would often need to have a break after ten seconds, but Ben would always just giggle his little heart out, and could never sit still, try as he might.

Klaus giggled too. “Of course, dear little Benjamin could never stand those. Could you, Benerino?” Their brother merely cackled in response, batting helplessly at the tickling fingers. God, if this didn’t end soon, he was going to die again. Could ghosts die again?

“I… neeheed AIR, you asshole!”

“No you don’t,” Klaus replied simply, pinching at the skin right above his belly button. Ben shrieked, flailed, and ended up rolling off the armchair onto the ground. Klaus took it as a cue to stop and sat back, grinning at his work.

“What’s he look like?” Allison asked, not even trying to hide her sadistic smile.

Klaus grinned at the rumpled pile of ghost on the floor, who flipped him off. “Like shit.”

“Fuck off,” Ben replied, but he was smiling. Mission accomplished.

—

Diego frequently sat in his room alone, doing God knows what. The minute that Allison walked in, he was just twirling one of his knives in his hand. Turning around to look at his sister, who had been smiling at a piece of paper, his brows furrowed, “What?” 

Allison couldn’t help but chuckle to herself as she read the notes beside her stoic brother’s name: ticklish EVERYWHERE, pokes make him squirm, sometimes cries at tummy tickles, GET HIS BELLYBUTTON, & make sure he’s not holding anything. She remembered fondly how her and her brothers would always gang up on him and tickle him until he cried. Grace always had to step in to get them to stop. She cleared her throat, and looked over at him, turning the paper around to face him, “Remember this?” 

“Oh, ... yeah, from those - those fights we had when we were kids. Yeah.” Diego placed his knife down on the desk, and moved to stand up, subtly trying to escape what he feared was about to happen. 

“Hm, what kind of fights were those?”

“You - y’know. The -… the wrestling and stuff.” He silently cursed his sister for trying to make him say it; she knew that he absolutely hated the word, both hearing it and saying it… and experiencing it. Diego pretended to nonchalantly pace away in order to exit the room, only to make his way into the corner farthest from the door, where Allison was inconveniently standing. 

“I heard a rumor… that you can’t move until I start tickling you.” Allison sped up the last part of her rumor, making it so he couldn’t cover his ears as he typically used to. Walking over to him, she grinned and wiggled her fingers in the air, eyeing his torso.

A grunt left Diego’s already reluctantly smiling mouth as he attempted to tug on his legs in order to move, “Dammit! Screw you, Allison! - ACK!” His eyes squeezed shut, embarrassed at the slight giggle that he’d let out without her even touching him yet. 

“What is it, Diego? Surely, you've grown out of letting a few tickly fingers take you down?” Allison teased, poking his tummy with her two index fingers.

A snort escaped his mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggle fit that was bound to start as he doubled over. He tried to use his regained mobility to make a break for it, but it was too late. The momentum from the force he'd been using in his attempts to get away pushed him to the floor. He was absolutely cornered.

“Nonono — I-I, yes, I have grown out of it!” The way his arms were wrapped around his torso and the quick pace of his words, however, told a different story. “I’m seri - NO,” he yelped before dissolving into a squirmy puddle of silent giggles. Allison’s digits were swiftly poking and scratching at any spot they could reach.

“You’re what? Cereal? Serene? Can’t be serious; you’re giggling too much for that, silly.” Ever since they were children, Diego always seemed to bring out Allison’s most brutal teases. “It seems to me that you still might be the most ticklish one in this house, Diego! Tell me, how does it feel to have such a title?” She’d been able to latch her hands onto the sides of his stomach before wiggling her fingers into them. 

His laughter rose in volume when he opened his mouth to speak, “I-It tickles! - Shit, shit,” he squealed over Allison’s coos, “Sh-sh-shut up!” Saying the word, along with his embarrassingly childish reactions to such simple touches, was enough to redden his face. A squawk left his mouth when he felt a clawed hand digging into his lower tummy, dangerously close to his bellybutton. 

Allison stopped for a second, glancing down at both of Diego’s hands clutching onto her single hand on his stomach, and back up at her uncontrollably giggling brother. The grin on her face was the only thing that preceded her free hand flying straight towards his unguarded navel. 

Diego weakly pushed at her hands as he kicked his legs and screamed. His cackles now echoed through the whole house. Both of her hands were squaring in on his stomach and fuck, he couldn’t take it. “Allison - fuck! I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, oh my God, stop,” Diego rambled quickly between gasps of laughter, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, much to his own chagrin, and Allison’s amusement.

He was just so fun to tickle. He always had been. Of course, Allison knew he wasn’t going to die; he was just over dramatic sometimes. “What’s the magic word?”

“F-Fuck off,” he growled.

Allison mimicked a buzzer noise as she continued to tickle and poke around Diego’s hypersensitive midriff, even adding a few pokes to his thigh, and pinches to his triceps, “Wrong.” She laughed at the rather adorable image of her brother, curled up in the corner of his room, hands flailing in an attempt to get the tickles to stop, and twitching away from every little touch. He really was ticklish just about everywhere. 

“I've gotta tell Lila about this,” Allison chuckled, making a mental note. “Imagine her finding out that you're ticklish on your shoulders. And your chest? She's gonna have a field day, I know it.”

A squeal, “Noho, okay, okay, please! Pleasepleaseplease, fuck,” he rolled over, yelling when the tickles didn’t stop, “Fucking please, Allison! Pleehease.”

“All right, you big baby!” She decided to finally let up, chuckling at the residual giggles that escaped Diego’s mouth. 

He clutched his stomach, wheezing. “Christ, I fucking… forgot what that felt like.” A warning look was shot towards his sister, “Don't you dare tell her.”

Allison grinned, poking him again and brightening when she was rewarded with a yelp. “I think we all did, and…” a quick spider over his tummy got him to curl up again, “I think I just might.”

—

Allison clutched the chart firmly in her fist, making her way up the many flights of stairs. Last but not least. She glanced at the notes by the scrawled out ‘Number Five:’ says he's not ticklish but we know he is, flinches when anyone touches his knees (especially the left one), and hiccups a lot after laughing really hard.

Bursting into his room, Allison, expecting him to be doing… well, whatever old man stuff he liked to do, was surprised to find her brother fast asleep in his bed. After all he’d been through, experiencing the apocalypse twice & back to back, he certainly deserved a nap or twelve. 

One thing that all of the siblings agreed on, though silently, was that Five was utterly adorable when he was asleep, and not snapping at anyone. Surely, just a smidge less adorable than when… 

A poke to the blanketed figure made his snoring breaths hitch, and then they continued as normal.

He’d napped long enough, Allison thought to herself, not knowing if he’d been sleeping for two minutes or two hours. Nothing could beat her infinite curiosity, though, about just where dear old Fivey was ticklish. It had been far too long, and she knew he was at least a little bad on his knees but there was no way that could be all. That little body definitely held tons of bottled up laughter over the years that just had to be let out.

Of course his right leg was sticking out of the mass of comforter and sheets. Of course it was. 

Allison quickly spidered her fingers right above the hem of his grey knee socks, that he even wore to bed, apparently. 

A sudden jerking motion under the covers followed as he stopped snoring.

“Fiiive,” Allison crooned in a somewhat warning tone. No answer. She pinched the sides of his knee, only to be awarded with a twitch and a “cough” that was far too loud to pass off as a cough. 

“Fuck off, Allison,” Five’s sleepy voice, muffled by the pillow, piped up.

“Okay, rude,” she replied, going in for the kill, skittering all five of her nails over his knee cap.

He internally cursed at the choking sound that escaped his throat, as he pulled his leg under the covers, in order to provide some defense. The blanket reshaped itself as he curled up, and Allison thought she heard a grumpy sigh through the fabric.

“Y’know, you might’ve spent almost 50 years without other people, but I would’ve thought that you’d remember at least some of your manners.” Another sigh. “No apology? Fine then.”

Allison sat right down on Five’s bed, and grabbed his left ankle, pulling it out from under the covers.

Before he could teleport away, he felt unbearably light and spidery tickles along the back of his knee. A screech that he couldn’t hope to suppress left his mouth, but only took seconds for the bubbly giggles, and the violent kicking, to begin. 

Allison’s steady hold on Five’s ankle turned out to be a major asset to her attack as his whole body thrashed around, tangling himself in his blanket and sheets. She couldn't help but flinch at the frantic movements and his other foot weakly pushing at her hip.

“Good to see little Five still has those tickly, tickly knees!” 

“Allison! Fucking,” he squeaked, unable to hold back the helpless laughter, “Fuck you! I’m gonna - ACK,” another giggle. “Dammit! I’ll fucking kill you!”

The giggles laced with threatening screams were delightfully familiar. “Sure you will, Giggles,” she teased, prodding and squeezing around his entire knee, adding some occasional rib tickles into the mix to make him twitch. 

Five’s hands flickered blue, but there was no way he could teleport with how unfocused he was. He felt like he was going crazy. It had been ages since he'd laughed so freely, let alone been tickled; certainly since before he left. The sensation, so completely disarming while also frustratingly familiar, overwhelmed him.

“Fuck you, I swear - shit! Oh my fucking g- Allison!”

“Yes?” She stuck her tongue out in concentration, digging into the spot just above his kneecap that made him scream. 

Five was in hell. His hands were still glowing, but never enough to do anything goddamn useful. He could feel his leg twitching, trying to kick, but Allison was merciless, and she had a lot more practice tickling his thirteen-year-old body than he had fighting off her adult reflexes. The giggles pouring out of his mouth were starting to grow hoarse, though, and he was pretty sure that if this kept up much longer, he’d actually go crazy.

“F-fine!”

“What was that?”

“I said - ” The tickling stopped, but his eyes locked on where Allison’s lethal nails were still hovering over his ribs. Flushed, he choked back a giggle. “I said fine, you fucking - ”

“Fine what?” Allison aimed a poke at the space between two ribs and he jerked.

“Fine, I’m sorry!” The hands withdrew, and Five curled into himself, breathing heavily through the last remaining chuckles. Allison blew on two fingertips like a gun, and dodged the smack that Five sent her way. 

“Fuck off. Hic.”

Allison’s eyes lit up. “There they are!”

“Huh? What are you - hic - talking about?” Five grumbled, pulling his knees into his chest and sucking in a big breath to try to stop the hiccups.

She grinned, pulling out the chart, and resisting the urge to reach out and poke his puffed cheeks. “I took notes.”

Five’s eyes widened, and he let out his breath, looking vaguely… impressed. “Holy shit. You’re thorough.” His eyes scanned over her scribbled words. “Diego? Really?”

Allison chuckled. “Really. I’m surprised you forgot, he’s the worst of all of us. Even worse than you.”

Five’s nose wrinkled, and he let out a childish snort. “Serves him right.”

“Oh, shut up, you ticklish little son of a bitch.” Diego muttered from the doorway... alongside Klaus, Vanya, and Luther.

Five spun and internally cursed at himself at the blush growing on his face, wondering how long the rest of his siblings had been there watching him get absolutely wrecked.

“I know you are but what am I,” he snapped back at his bigger but younger brother, who’d lunged towards him, ready for a battle.

Diego was blocked by Allison though, and he stopped, knowing not to cross her while she was in the terrifying mood she’d been in all day.

“Guys, enough. Can’t we have just one fun day without you at each other’s throats?”

“Y’know what, Allison, I know I didn’t get a very close look but…” Klaus clicked his tongue as his strong brows furrowed, “I don’t think I saw your name on that little chart.” He made his way over to his other siblings with an unmistakable glint in his eye and grabbed the chart from his sister’s hand. 

Allison always did have the upper hand in all their tickle fights, and now they all knew why.

“W-well, that’s because I made it.” The look that her family exchanged did not go unnoticed, and she stepped backwards, ending up stumbling onto Five’s bed. “Hey, hey guys, wait - ”

Allison could confidently say she was the most patient of the Hargreeves siblings. With the boys, there was no contest—they were all volatile loose cannons with something to prove—and even Ben had fallen prey to the excess testosterone. Years of following Klaus around had brought back out Ben’s snarky side, which he had all-but-smothered in his younger years. A wise person would argue Vanya was patient, and their argument would have merit, but Vanya wasn’t so much patient as she was used to being forcibly subdued. She was kind and sweet, but she would never wait for anything again. She simply acted now. Allison could appreciate the sentiment, but that wasn’t how she operated—no matter how badly she wanted to. 

She was always the moderator—the only one who could reign in six other unruly supers without losing a limb. So, when Reginald invited the seven of them to dinner, she had to call upon every ounce of her patience to keep from strangling one or all of them. 

“I still say we kill him.” Diego stabbed a mango in the fruit bowl and pulled it towards himself. He started carefully peeling the skin, leaving the shavings in a little pile next to his plate. 

“That solves nothing.” Allison sighed.

“It saves the president. I’d call that solving something.” Diego didn’t look up at her, but the aggressive way he sliced a huge chunk of skin off of the mango almost felt personal. 

“I agree with Diego. I think it’d be fun.” Lila pulled Diego’s arm towards her so she could take a bite of the mango. He glared at her and she tweaked his nose, taking another large bite just to piss him off. 

“See?” Diego gestured at Lila.

“No one is killing Dad. Let’s hear what he has to say, then we can figure out a plan.” Allison folded her hands on the table, relieved when everyone else seemed to be in agreement.  Klaus handed her a tiki cup and she took a grateful sip. It’d been a while since she’d had a good piña colada.

“Why? This whole thing could be over so quickly!” 

“Yes, it could, but it won’t be.” She gave him one of her patented fake smiles, taking a pointed sip of her colada. 

“Why? Because you’re in charge? Because you’ve got this under control?” Diego scoffed. He offered Lila a piece of his mango before she could steal another bite. 

“Oh boy, here we go.” Luther muttered.

“Do you want a drink? No? Well, I do. I’m gonna go get a drink.” Klaus stood and stumbled over to the bar, taking his second margarita of the night with him. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” She crossed her arms.

“What authority do you really have, Allison?”

“I would say her powers are a pretty good authority. Plus, Allison’s a good leader.” Vanya piped up, smiling softly at her. Allison gave her hand a quick squeeze.

“Team Zero has no leaders. That’s the whole point.” 

“Kinda hard to be Team Zero when you still want to be number one.” Five took an apple from the fruit bowl and took an innocent bite. Diego pushed his chair out, knife in hand, twirling it between his fingers.

“Diego, sit down! Now.” Allison didn’t stand. She wouldn’t sink to his level. Or, rise, rather.

“Make me.” Diego fixed Allison with a withering stare, but it paled in comparison to the one she gave him. In fact, she relished in the way he shivered when he met her eyes. Good. He should remember his place.

“Diego-” Luther tried, but one glare shut him down.

“Shut up. Allison, you want me to sit and behave? Make me.”

“Come on. Don’t do this,” Vanya whispered, trying to grab Diego’s knife hand. He simply flicked the knife behind his back and into his other hand. For a moment, it looked like Vanya’s pleading eyes would work, but Five chuckled and sealed the deal.

“Dinner and a show! Predictable as always.” Five folded his hands beneath his chin and stole a generous sip of Vanya’s cocktail.

“Shut up, twerp!” Diego pointed at him with the knife.

“Or else what? You’ll stab me?” Five was grinning now, goading Diego on purpose. 

“Five!” Allison growled, and he rolled his eyes, falling quiet. At least he knew not to test her.

“Keep talking. Let’s find out.” Diego flipped the knife once, then twice, and each time it stayed in the air just a little too long. 

“I’ve got ten bucks on Diego,” Lila said, kicking her feet up on the table. She took the liberty of finishing his mango for him, peeling away little bits of skin with her messy nails.

“Guys, stop it!” Vanya latched onto Diego’s arm, trying to force him down into his seat. He pulled away and she ended up jabbing his side. He flinched and glared at her, but did not budge. Allison’s lips quirked into a momentary smile.

“Allison,” Vanya said quietly, gesturing at the brewing fight. Allison rolled her eyes and threw up her hands. 

“Okay! Just remember you asked for this!” Allison smirked, and the room suddenly felt a bit colder. She could feel everyone’s attention on her, but she had Diego’s eyes, and that was all she needed.

“I heard a rumor that you started tickling yourself.” Allison’s voice echoed through the room, the sound waves capturing her brother. Just before his eyes turned white, she could see the look of minute panic, that look of ‘oh shit’ that he always made before being put in his place. Allison smiled, curled her tongue against her teeth, and dropped the winning blow.

“Coochie coo, Diego.” She couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out on the end of her sentence. Diego’s hands raised towards his body as if they didn’t belong to him, fingers wiggling in that way that had always ruined him as a kid—slow, methodical, and teasing. Both hands dug into his sides, just below his ribs, and he yelped, quickly consumed by his own high-pitched laughter. The sight was strange—90% of Diego was squirming up a storm trying to escape himself, but his arms and hands kept him pinned exactly where Allison wanted him.

“How does that work?” Lila laughed, unable to hide her snickers when Diego squealed. She fluttered her fingers over his neck and was delighted to find that he couldn’t fight back—what with his hands being so busy, and all.

“Her power shuts off the sense of self-awareness in the brain, I think. You can’t tickle yourself normally because the laughter is a panic response. Your brain knows it’s you, so you can’t make yourself laugh, unless you’re ridiculously ticklish, or something. Allison’s power is making Diego’s brain think his hands aren’t his, even though he knows they are. It’s really interesting, actually.” Vanya beamed, unable to resist poking him in the ribs a few times. He threw his head back in his chair and somehow found it in himself to giggle louder when his rumored hands found a home underneath his arms, drawing unbearable shapes and driving him up the wall. Everyone, excluding Diego, turned to stare at Vanya.

“What? I like science.” She shrugged.

“It is...creative, I’ll say.” Five crossed his arms, then uncrossed them, as if he didn’t trust his own hands.

“Yeah, I haven’t heard him laugh like that since we were kids. He still sounds like a kettle.” Klaus chuckled.

“Shut up, Klaus!” Diego squeaked out, tossing his head side to side. He puffed his cheeks out, trying to rein in his laughter, but it only lasted until his left hand hit that spot just above his top rib that made him fully cackle.

“Aww, this is cute.” Lila ruffled his hair, knowing full well she wouldn’t have gotten away with it had Diego not been testing the range of his vocal chords. Lila shot Allison a look she couldn’t quite read—something akin to a thoughtful expression, as if she was taking a mental note—and smiled. 

“Diego? I think your legs could use some attention.” Allison watched with delight as Diego’s hands dove for his thighs. One hand started squeezing while the other wiggled up and down, and the rate at which he plummeted into desperate belly laughter was almost alarming. He twisted off of the chair and onto the floor, eyes screwed shut.

“Allison, stohop!” Diego squealed, absolutely hysterical. Jesus Christ, no one had ever been this ruthless with him before. Her powers were hitting spots he didn’t even know he had, and each fresh discovery sent him into a wave of overwhelming, giggly panic. Every time he tried to take command of his hands, something blocked him, like the wires in his brain weren’t quite connected. 

“Nope! Not until you apologize for being an asshole. And agree to be nice.” 

“I can’t—noho!” He arched his back and drummed his heels on the floor. Watching his own hands wreak havoc on his worst spot set off all kinds of butterflies in his stomach. His hands kept digging in infuriating patterns, completely overwhelming his nervous system with tickly sparks. 

“Sure you can! It’s very easy.” Allison winked at him and he growled, but it dissolved very quickly into giggles.

“You’re all a bunch of children,” Five sighed.

“Five, why don’t you join him?” Allison asked sweetly, stirring her drink with the straw. Five’s look of confusion melted into a brief flicker of white eyes, and soon his cackles mingled with Diego’s rich laughter. He hit the floor much quicker than his brother, but that might’ve had something to do with his borrowed hands flying straight for his knees. Five squealed and kicked his legs, rolling around on the ground as he tried and failed to escape.

Watching Five and Diego writhe, so tangled in their laughter that they couldn’t threaten her if they wanted to, her heart skipped a few beats. Sure, the power was going to her head a bit, but it’s not like her brothers didn’t have it coming.  She was doing a public service. Speaking of public service, Diego was starting to turn an interesting color.

“If I let you go, are you going to be nice tonight? I will embarrass you in front of dad, I don’t even care.”

“Y-Yes! Lemme goho!” 

“Fine.” She waved a hand and Diego went limp. He lifted his hands to his face to muffle the last few giggles trickling from his lips. With some difficulty, he pulled himself to his feet, stumbling back into his chair with an arm wrapped around his torso. Sparing Diego brought a softness in Allison, and she smiled at Five.

“You can let your knees go. I always liked your giggles more anyway.” He disappeared in a flash of blue and reappeared behind her, arms outstretched and ready to strangle, but Allison sighed. He was so...predictable. A creature of unfortunate habit.

“I heard a rumor that you tickled your ribs silly.” 

“Noho!” He hit the ground in seconds, tripping over his own feet as he went. 

“Really?” She turned and arched a brow at him. 

“I hate yohou!”

“You’re lucky I didn’t mention your hands.” She scoffed, then flinched when Five shrieked. One of his hands started going to town on the other, scratching so gently that Allison almost couldn’t believe how loud he was. He squirmed so violently that she was sure he’d’ve punched her if she’d been close enough.

“Oopsie.” She grimaced, biting her lip. 

“Allison, hey.” Vanya smiled, obviously amused, but tilted her head towards the elevator. The up arrow was glowing red and, yeah, it was probably, regrettably, time to stop. 

“You can stop, Five,” She murmured, and he wheezed, scrubbing his palms against his jacket to erase sensation. The feeling of the fibers sliding against his palms sent him into another flurry of giggles as he clenched his fists.

Some cruel, playful itch at the back of Allison’s mind had been thoroughly scratched—so much so that when Diego still took a jab at her for not using her powers, she made him punch himself instead of embarrassing him.

She liked using her powers. The force with which they held her was sometimes scary, but for harmless instances like this? It was what she had been missing growing up. Everyone else got to mess around with their powers, but she was never really allowed to. Being the responsible and patient one meant being the buzzkill in her siblings’ eyes, and buzzkills didn’t often get roped into the intense, multi-floor, super-tickle-fights that had dominated what few happy memories that the Hargreeves had as children.

She started slow with reintroducing her powers, not wanting to overwhelm or scare anyone. She was still trying to get past the look on Patrick’s face when he’d caught her rumouring Claire. Allison knew her siblings would never look at her like that—in fact, they were the only people who ever wanted her to use her powers. She started with simple things: convincing Five to get some rest after refusing to sleep, ending an argument between Luther and Diego that was quickly spiraling out of control—even on Klaus, who would not stop fighting with Ben during the night. That last one wasn’t truly necessary, but the walls were thin and their rooms shared an unfortunate border.

“What color are you thinking?” Klaus dumped his armful of nail polish bottles onto her bed, just barely catching a few before they clattered to the floor. 

“Yellow?” She gingerly picked one from the pile. 

“I love it.” He beamed and took a seat in front of her, unscrewing the cap. The brightness and warmth of the polish made her smile. It was the color of her favorite dress from the decade they’d left behind—the dress that Raymond had always loved. Klaus took her foot and laid it on his leg, sticking his tongue out to concentrate.

Someone softly cleared their throat and the two of them looked up to see Vanya hovering in the doorway. Allison smiled and waved her in, and she plopped on the ground next to Klaus. Vanya leaned over to watch Klaus work.

“You like the color?” Allison asked. Things between them were still fragile. 

“It’s lovely. Sissy’s favorite, actually.” Vanya smiled softly, fiddling with her shirt sleeves a bit, and Allison knew things were okay, for the time being. 

Three pairs of stomping footsteps echoed down the hall and Allison looked up, catching her brothers lingering in the doorway, though seemingly not on purpose. Luther and Five had cornered a brooding Diego who looked like he was a few seconds away from impaling one or both of them. 

“Diego, quit being such a grouch.” Luther shoved his shoulder lightly.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Diego grumbled, arms crossed.

C’mon man, it’s been days. No one likes when you sulk around. Just lighten up a little.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Diego held a knife up to Luther’s throat.

“Five, a little help here?”

“Oh, I don’t care.” Five stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled.

“Diego. Dude.” Luther shook Diego’s shoulder again and he growled, grabbing Luther’s meaty hand and wrenching it backwards.

“I heard a rumor that Luther and Five tickled you until you admit defeat,” Allison piped up, giggling at the look of absolute betrayal on Diego’s face. Five cackled of his own volition, happy as a clam to have a reason to torment his brother.

“Allison, no!” He bolted, Five and Luther hot on his heels.

“Have fun!” She called after them.

“That was mean.” Klaus chided, wiggling his fingers over her sole. She squeaked and tried to pull away, but his grip was tight on her ankle.

“Klaus! I’m gonna mess up the polish!” She whined around a giggle, hiding her face in her hands.

“No you won’t. Just stay still.” Klaus chuckled, continuing to apply the polish with one hand. With the other, he kept scratching gently 

“Yeah, Allison, just stay still.” Vanya took hold of Allison’s ankle and fluttered along her arch, taking note of which spots made her curl in on herself and paying them extra attention. 

It was then that Allison decided they were no longer exempt from her wrath. Everyone was fair game now. Though, maybe she could show them a little mercy, since they definitely could be a lot meaner.

They only stopped once they made her squeal—Klaus scratched his nail repeatedly over her big toe until she nearly fell on the floor—and even after, they wouldn't stop teasing her about the noise she’d made. She filed away her large-scale revenge plan and settled for tickling them both once Klaus had finished her nails. 

There was a lesson in quitting while you’re ahead, but, pinned to the couch and screaming, Allison was starting to think it had gone over her head.

It had started with Lila throwing a movie night—her way of apologizing for, well, everything without having to say the words. Lila had set up a sort of nest situation with pillows and blankets, allowing the siblings to choose their seats freely. Allison and Vanya snuggled on one end of the couch while Luther claimed the other, and the rest of them piled on one another in front of the couch. Lila laid with her head in Diego’s lap, and Klaus and Five were cozy next to them. They hadn’t existed this way in years. It would’ve been nice, had the tension not been so thick.

All of them were almost afraid to relax, as if they’d all simultaneously remembered how long it’d been since they’d properly been together as a family. Five looked like he would explode if anyone touched him, Diego was far too occupied with his box of Thin Mints, and Klaus’s knee was shaking far too much not to be distracting to everyone present. 

A smile tugged at her lips. If any situation called for an intervention, it was this one. Possibly even more than her previous abuses of power. 

“They need to lighten up, don’t you think?” Allison murmured, stealing a pretzel from the bag Vanya was holding.

“They are a bit..tense.” Vanya chuckled. Allison took the pretzels and set them safely aside before gesturing for her to lean close.

“I heard a rumor that you started messing with Klaus,” Allison whispered, munching on another pretzel. Vanya fixed her with a ‘really?’ face and she shrugged in apology. Vanya started nudging Klaus with her foot, waiting just long enough between gentle shoves that it was annoying. After about the eighth time, Klaus whirled around and grabbed Vanya’s ankle, skittering his fingers up her leg.

“Vanya!” He gasped in mock offense, spidering his nails in random circles. Vanya simply slid down the couch cushion like a pile of jello, the fight already drained from her body. Allison had been hoping for a more explosive reaction, but this would do as a start. She leaned forward and put a hand on Diego’s shoulder. 

“I heard a rumor that you started a proper tickle fight.” She finished the command with a quick flutter at the back of his neck. Diego snatched her hand and yanked her forwards, using the change in momentum to grab her foot and go to town. She snorted and shoved at the back of his head, anything to get him to let go.

“Not with me! Nevermind, I heard a rumor you stole Five’s marshmallows.” She shoved him off of her and grinned when he immediately lunged for them. In that moment, Five was indistinguishable from a feral racoon as he dove for the treats. Lila managed to roll out of the way just before she was crushed.

“Give them back!” He screeched, reaching for the bag just out of his grip. Diego took advantage of his long arms and stretched as far away as possible.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Diego dropped a marshmallow into his mouth, making direct eye contact as he chewed and swallowed. Five trembled with rage.

“You’re dead.” He pounced onto Diego who yelped before dissolving into frantic giggles, arms flailing about as he tried to dislodge Five. He squirmed right into Klaus, who took hold of his legs and dug in wherever he could reach. Vanya made a game of poking Diego’s stomach as many times as possible while dodging his hands. She could see the moment where her rumor dissolved, the four of them effortlessly carrying on the playfulness without aid.

Allison snuck a glance at Luther. He was still crushed into his corner of the couch, looking unbelievably uncomfortable but at least amused at the struggle going on beneath him. He deserved to smile as much as them.

“I heard a rumor-”

“That you were wildly ticklish, all over,” Lila said from behind her, and holy shit, when did she get there? Lila poked her side and a bright giggle bubbled out from her lips before she could stop it. Dread and anticipation tangled in her stomach. She’d never been that sensitive there before.

Uh oh.

“Lila, we can talk about this.” Allison raised her hands in surrender as Lila vaulted over the couch, straddling her before she could escape.

“That’s the problem, Allison. You’re still talking, not laughing.” Lila kneaded her thumbs into the sides of Allison’s stomach and she squealed, trying her damndest to grab the offending hands. 

This was uncharted territory for her. She was used to teasy hands grabbing her neck or for roughhousing to turn into a mad grab for her feet. She knew exactly what it would feel like every time. This was technically the same, but radically different. Her body just didn’t know what to do. It was like being tickled for the first time ever, before her body knew what was going on. Every single part of her was sending up flares of tickly panic as she squirmed underneath Lila.

When someone—Klaus, judging by the cold shock of a few rings—grabbed hold of her feet, it dawned on her how what she’d put Diego through might’ve been a little mean.

“Lehet goho!” 

“Hey, Allison? I think your legs could use some attention,” Diego said in an annoying mockery of her voice, but she was far too indisposed to reprimand him for it.

“I-” She started to plead, but verbal communication flew out the window entirely when Vanya started tickling lightly under her chin and down the column of her throat. It was so gentle and clearly loving, but the contrast between Vanya and the fiends going to town on the rest of her body only doubled her desperation to get away.

Diego hooked his fingers behind Allison’s knee and she nearly launched Lila across the room with how hard she thrashed. Her nervous system whited out for a minute as she squealed louder, doing everything she could to wrench her feet from Klaus’s grasp so she could kick Diego in the face.

“No! Stohop!” Great, she was snorting now. 

“Uh-oh! Bad spot?” Klaus drawled, scribbling over her feet. Lila wormed her fingers into the crevices of Allison’s ribs, making sure to pinch and prod every so often, just to draw out little squeaks and hiccups. Diego found a spot on the side of her thigh where if he wiggled his fingers, Allison’s giggles would turn wheezy, and he was having far too much fun with it.

“Ihit tihickles!”

“Does it? Are you sure?” Lila vibrated a claw into Allison’s stomach and she threw her head back into the couch with a loud cackle. That was definitely new. Vanya giggled somewhere above her, dragging her fingers over the shells of her ears.

“Yes, oh my god-” She clamped her elbows to her sides when Lila tried to sneak her hands under her arms. Her brain sent out about fifty warning signals, essentially begging her not to let this happen, and while she had no clue where the knowledge had come from, she wasn’t about to question it.

“Alright, I’m sorry!” She tried to curl around Lila’s hands but that only made things worse.

“Damn straight.” Diego scoffed, (surprisingly) the first to let her go. After a few other quick pokes, the others released her, watching as she heaved in sweet oxygen. Every inch of her body was fizzling as she came down from her laughter. She covered her face, hiding her recovery, until two very mean hands darted into her exposed armpits. Allison bucked up hard, loud and bright laughter overcoming her as she thrashed on the couch. A few seconds felt like hours, and when Lila finally did stop, Allison wheezed before mustering the energy to glare.

“Lila!”

“Sorry! I just wanted to see what would happen.” She smiled, sheepish, but not at all apologetic.

“I hope I didn’t ruin movie night,” Allison murmured, looking up and around at her siblings. 

“Au contraire! I think you made movie night. Everyone, grab your snacks. I want to see this kid fuck up some robbers.” Klaus started the movie without waiting for the others, earning groans of annoyance and panicked scrambling as everyone tried to find their seats. Lila stayed on the couch, pulling Allison’s legs across her lap, while Vanya adjusted so Allison’s head would be more comfy. Klaus laid across Diego’s back and Five propped his legs on top of them, popping marshmallows in his mouth like popcorn.