#thycawarrior

#Repost @holapaulina ・・・ F* Cancer for taking my Thyroid! Thank you @silvermoonbrewing for making an awesome beer for a great cause. Though my thyroidectomy scar is almost invisible at this point, I'm still healing and fighting through TSH suppression. It's been a little over a year and I'm still adjusting to having to take medication every day for the rest of my life in order to have any sort of metabolism. According to my endocrinologist, I have about 4 more years on this high dose that gave me insomnia and makes me sweat so much I have to Botox my armpits... for the second time😂 . . . #fuckcancer #beerselfie #craftbeer #beer #fightingpretty #thyca #thycawarrior #cancersucks #cancersurvivor #papillarythyroidcancer #thyroidectomyscar #thyroid https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz9D-3GHLaN/?igshid=tbndty4ky8ou

A few months ago I posted about how I was watching The X-Files and got to the episode where Scully is diagnosed with cancer. I was pretty fucked up about it, to put it mildly. I didn't understand why cancer stories seemed to be everywhere, I was afraid that they were going to pop up in narratives and ruin my escapism, and (mostly) I was terrified that I was always going to be an anxious and sad mess of a human being. I stopped rewatching The X-Files. But I was talking about Mulder and Scully at work today, and so I decided to start watching again. I had forgotten why I had stopped. And I was so surprised when I turned this episode on and realized that it didn't bother me anymore. It's just a story. One that resonates with me more personally now, but still a story. I'm able to watch it and enjoy it and separate Scully's fear from my own. I'm not done coming to terms with it yet, but it's so relieving to have tangible proof that I'm making progress.

Look, don't get me wrong, I'm cute as hell. But I hate my body and no one is allowed to make me feel bad about that. The funny thing about not having a thyroid is that literally everything about the way your body works suddenly changes. I've gained 30 pounds in the last six months. I purposely don't drink enough water because now I have to pee ALL THE TIME. The other day I had a panic attack because the roof of my mouth went numb for NO REASON and that's actually a semi-normal thing! It's all weird and all garbage. Thyroid cancer is like winning the opposite of a lottery, where all of the prizes are garbage but when you try to tell that to people, they tell you that you should be grateful for the garbage you have. At least you didn't get garbage ON FIRE, am I right?! And then you start to wonder - wait, am I not being properly appreciative of all of the trash I was given? Is there something wrong with me for not being thankful for getting trash that isn't on fire? Spoiler alert: trash is trash; most people are dicks. Anyway, it's been a weird process of trying to figure out how to feel about my new, chubby, incorrectly working body. And I've decided that I hate it. And that's okay! Because I still love myself.

What about you? Tell me I’m not the only one missing out on margs and nachos?!! And celebrating the Mexican victory at the Battle of Puebla, of course!

#repost @thycainc #nationalcancersurvivorsday I am beyond grateful that my #thycawarrior is healthy and doing well. 🙌🦋❤️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CBJQ2vCAf6-/?igshid=c16ls8cqz9lw

February is #cancerpreventionmonth check yourself... know your risks. #breastselfexam #checkyourneck #molecheck and all that. Proud of my #thycawarrior miss you everyday Dad... wish you were here. https://www.instagram.com/p/B8G3k09ADIS/?igshid=rm3sb0obihu2