#thrashgrace

OKAYYYYYYYYY ^_^!!!!

obviously thrasher is obsessed with scapegrace in a crazy way everyone knows that. i think part of why he puts up with being treated like shit because even bad attention from scapegrace is still attention⭐ like in the beginning tgeres definitely weird magic zombie attachment there which is why he calls scapegrace "master" and "sir" but since scapegrace's urge to serve seemed to wear off after getting his brain moved around i must assume thrasher's did too. especially considering in book 9 he called scapegrace by his first name and suggested they be equals, which i dont think he would have done when he was still under the influence of necromancer magic. And! i think thrasher loved him separately from his instinct to serve him because none of the other zombies really gave that much of a shit about scapegrace. so thrasher was always a faggot, being zombified just skewed it in a creepy direction. <- that got really long. what im trying to say is thrasher has mental problem and if he doesnt get to follow around his favorite guy who hates him he'll DIE

as for scapegrace 🌠. well. he also has mental problem but completely in the other direction. And This Part Got Really Long so im putting it under a cut🙏

Skulduggery and Valkyrie sending out awful, family-with-many-kids style Christmas cards together.

Skulduggery has a Santa hat and Valkyrie takes a minute to piss herself because "YOU LOOK LIKE JACK SKELLINGTON OH MY GODDDD". She dances around singing "What's This?" and collapsing with rib-aching laughter "because she thinks she's so funny, that girl".

The final design is a mixture of bad Christmas Snapchat filters and photo booth props, but in the end they have the cheesiest photo for a card they decide to send to everyone they know - especially their enemies.

Scaramouch Van Dreg sits in his cell and is happily surprised to receive mail for once. He opens the envelope and is greeted by his arch-nemesis and a vaguely familiar girl on the front of a card reading "We wish you a very Pleasant Christmas". There's a sigh. A long one. He drops the envelope and it flutters to the concrete floor. Finally, he shrugs and bangs on the door until a cleaver opens the window. "Got any blutack?"

Thrasher opens their mail or Scapegrace bins it all to avoid paying bills. ("You do know that's not how bills work, sir?" "Shut up, Thrasher of course it is. They can't make you pay if you don't read the letters." "Yes, sir.")

Clarabelle skips into the room with armfuls of cards all addressed to different people and Thrasher isn't sure where she got them from but he doesn't complain when she sticks them all over the walls of their shared house.

They've already erected the Christmas tree (twice actually, after they lifted Clarabelle to put the star on top and suddenly all three of them were laying on top of a very horizontal tree, baubles and slightly-limp homemade decorations bouncing off in all directions).

Thrasher excitedly proposes the idea of doing their own family card and is immediately shut down ("Shut up, Thrasher." "Scapey, don't be mean to Gerald. It's the season of happiness we celebrate after Santa's favourite elf went to New York to find his real dad who doesn't want to see him, in time to share the love of holiday festivities." "I-I'm not sure that's completely right, Clarabelle." "Of course it is. How else do you explain all the books about it? Like that one with the Jesus guy who wants to see his dad but he lives in a faraway place so he rides a gold donkey to Egypt or something?" "..." "...It's a good job none of us are religious...")

Fletcher teleports briefly to the Arctic ("regret, oh my God, so much regret") to take a selfie and sends it to Val. He looks more distressed than when the tropical bird threatened to poop on his head in Australia that time, stood more than knee-deep in snow wearing just skinny jeans and a hoodie. Skulduggery shakes his head when Val shows him, wordless.

China gets one and puts it in the corner of her throne room, affectionately. Hundreds of admirers send her loving, romantic cards during the season but that's still the only one she displays. Skulduggery and Valkyrie get an official Roarhaven Sanctuary Christmas card a week later, printed with the regards of Supreme Mage China Sorrows, thanking them for their "hard work as part of our Arbiter-Corps division". Xena chews it to pieces.

Tanith sends out a text to everyone each year saying that she doesn't do Christmas cards and instead makes a donation to a children's charity for facial reconstruction after serious accidents or birth defects to help them live a more normal life. It's never sent under her name.

Vex and Rue put it in their living room and immediately send one back. The competition develops until every year there's the Sexter vs Valduggery cheesy joint Christmas card.

One year, Skulduggery decides to cheat use his Elemental abilities to win and they re-enact The Snowman with "Walking in the Air". (Bonus Xena with socks on her ears as the Snowdog, on the back.)

Vex breaks his leg falling off the roof after trying to do something similar, involving a makeshift Santa sleigh and surprisingly heavy (damaging) life-size model reindeer. Saracen is not impressed and tries to call an end to the rivalry.

Obviously, no one takes notice and next year Valkyrie has an incident with an avalanche when they try to get a picture involving some scenic snowy mountains.