The problem with being hyperfixated on Andy Summer (which has only grown worse since I began to rely more and more heavily on him throughout the later stages of my burnout) is that it makes it difficult to write about anyone else. I'm not being facetious here it literally is difficult to concentrate long enough to write a story with anyone else if Andy isn't involved in it. Which is part of why Thousand Five hasn't updated in a while (there are other reasons including having trouble thinking of what foreshadowing would tie into the vague future plot but recently this has been a big reason). Even though now, looking back, Thousand Five was and still is a story written by an autistic adult desperately wanting to know if it would be alright to let the mask slip. If it would be alright to not live up to everything expected of you. If it would be alright to not know where the lines of love lie, if there existed someone out there who would not only indulge that but do everything to protect it. Who would love all of it.
I'd still like to continue it but (coming back to the original point of the post) it really is hard for me to concentrate on things not involving Andy right now. Even when I'm typing up this Blood Falcon/Captain Falcon fight fic he is there lurking. Waiting. Wanting to occupy every shred of thought I have. He lives in an apartment in my mind and for a while he was sleeping but it seems like now that I've accepted my various neurodivergences he's awake. And horny.
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Me stuck on trying to figure out how to get Gazelle to make a comment to (under the cut for chap spoilers)
Blood Falcon about not being human and having a body that was hand-moulded by another (Gazelle being a cyborg and Blood being a clone) when Blood absolutely does not want to expose weakness or insecurity about his situation at any time. Like what would prompt Gazelle to even make the connection and comment lmao. At the moment Blood is currently doing his best to fuck with Rob so maybe he can accidentally let something slip relating to his inner feelings...??? Idk
It's fun exploring the different aspects of (game) Falcon's character through fic like I have a tendency to write the SNES era one as a cocky little shit but I've also tried playing up the cool and mysterious bounty hunter angle to make him a little more taciturn and serious. GX era Falcon I tend to write as more conscientious and focused on doing good though some of his youthful attitude and cockiness still shines through lmao. There's also his general theatrical nature that appears in (I would say) all his iterations (and is I suppose par for the course with a cast this colourful) and his (outward) confidence and love of showing off that remains even in his upstanding GX era.
The flirtiness I tend to give him is completely a result of my imagination bc Falcon is not at all flirty anywhere in canon ever but I think it would fit in with his flashy and forward demenaour (especially SNES era) and desire for attention even if he's not necessarily actually interested that way. Gotta get that taunting and preening in after all.
(More Falcon musings below the cut)
In contrast to the way I write Andy I don't think game Falcon has quite so defined a separation in how he acts with/without the costume on, but I do still think being Captain Falcon is a performance as well as a mindset. When he doesn't have to put on the face of "Captain Falcon" I like to think of him being quieter, more withdrawn/desiring alone time to recharge, sometimes even anxious about social scenarios that he might have to navigate as not-the-Captain. This isn't always necessarily tied to him having the helmet/costume on or not—if he still feels like he's present in a given situation as "Falcon", he'll act the same way in or out of costume.
This is kind of tied to my name hcs for him—it's not just that he doesn't want to give out his first name, he really does conceptualize of himself most of the time as the persona of "Falcon". The only time I think he would use his first name or even think of himself using his own first name would be if he was with people he was extremely close to, whether that's family (I have no idea what's going on with his family situation lol), best friends, or serious long-term lovers. The switch in use of title/assumed name to actual first name is a symbolic lowering of defences, a signifier of increased intimacy and almost like mental permission to him to just be...himself without any of the performance.
In Thousand Five, Stewart has known him only as Captain Falcon, his public persona, for 11 years and counting so even when they hang out out of costume he still feels the need to put that act on, though the amount of acting he does unconsciously lessens more and more as he grows more comfortable around Stewart. At least that's the explanation I have for why he's been gradually showing more and more vulnerability in anxiousness, earnest desire for approval, clinginess, etc. as the story goes on lol. The part where they finally address each other by first name will be basically when the final barriers between them are dissolved and they're letting each other know that yes, it's ok to be your unfiltered self around me and yes, I'm offering up my honest unfiltered self to you in return (which is why this won't be for many chapters to come lol).
In Living in the Fast Lane, since it's SNES era Falcon and Stewart haven't known each other quite so long there and Falcon isn't yet quite so practised at the whole performance of being Captain Falcon thing so there's less separation between how he acts in and out of costume. But there is indeed still an internal pressure to conform to his usual persona and to stick to the familiar snarky rivals dynamic that is eroding despite his best efforts in the face of unfamiliarly tender and squishy feelings ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The use of his Captain persona being a sort of safety wall and its gradual dissolution is always very fun and juicy to dig into and getting to write it happening in mutiple different ways is always a blast 🕺
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TF Falcon subconsciously preening when people call Robert "your doctor" even though that's a normal thing to say about one's physician like yes that is MY Doctor he pays attention to ME I am his special boy he is MINE
Meanwhile when people call Cap "your Falcon" Robert will notice maybe 50% of the time and the other half of the time it just flies right over his head because it just sounds normal lmao. The times he notices it's a tossup as to whether he thinks it's worth protesting or not but like. Even if he protests people are going to be like methinks the man doth protest too much
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Robert puts the pieces together. A whole parade of people come to speak with Falcon.
5.8k words later, here we are 🥳 featuring Robert mother henning (as usual), some bonus Jody, and a whole lot of characters making Falcon squirm under the attention.
