#thoughcatalog

Stay single until you find someone who takes responsibility for their actions. Someone who will admit when they screw up instead of trying to place the blame elsewhere or call you crazy for getting upset. Someone who owns their mistakes, apologize for them, and makes up for them.

Stay single until you find someone who puts in as much effort as you do. Someone who doesn’t expect you to do all of the work around the house and plan out all of the dates, even though you’re used to taking things into your own hands. Someone who gives you a chance to relax, because they see you as an equal not their personal maid/cook/pile of money.

We have to ignore our insecurities.  We have to ignore the apocalyptic voices in our head that take us to hell instead of heaven. We have to ignore the way they frighten us and the way they belittle us to believe that we’re not good enough. We have to try to shove them aside when they attack us and we have to trust ourselves more even if we’re unsure of ourselves. We have to ignore our uncertainty and just keep moving. 

We have to ignore those who left us behind. We have to ignore their promises, the plans we made for the future, the secrets they shared with us and the way they looked at us. We have to ignore these enchanting moments because they’re no longer happening. They chose to take it all back and we have no other choice but to leave them behind too, because fighting for them might not bring them back and even if it did, they will run away again. We have to ignore those who didn’t appreciate us and we have to ignore the way they made us feel about ourselves.

We have to ignore some of our questions. We have to ignore the dreadful questions we ask ourselves every night: ‘Why me? When will I be happy? What do I want? Why am I still here?’

Sometimes we have to ignore these tantalizing questions and trust that in time we will find the answers and that the answers may not always be what we wanted.

It’s hard to ignore the things that bother us but it’s also harder to live with all these burdens, they weigh us down if we pay too much attention to them.

Sometimes, you’re going to convince yourself you’re doing the right thing by holding onto the wrong person.

You’re going to keep coming up with excuses to keep this person in your life. You’re going to remind yourself they were there for you when you were going through a rough time. You’re going to cite sweet moments of your history while forgetting about the toxic ones. You’re going to feel like you owe it to this person to stick around because there aren’t many people in your universe who make you happy — and when this person isn’t making you miserable, you have a pretty good time together.

Sometimes, it hurts to admit a person you used to consider close has morphed into someone you can no longer recognize. Or maybe you’rethe one who has changed. Maybe this person used to fit perfectly in your life but you have since matured into someone strong and secure while they have stayed exactly the same immature soul. Maybe you are completely different people than you once were — not better or worse, simply different.

Sometimes, you’re going to come up with alternate solutions to prolong the inevitable. You’re going to do anything you can to make your friendship/relationship work before giving up on this person. You’re going to have long conversations. You’re going to make sacrifices. You’re going to give them chance after chance after chance. You’re going to hold onto them as tightly as you can because you’re not ready to let them go.

Sometimes, your heart will cling to the wrong person. Sometimes, you will resist walking away from them because it will be heartbreaking for the both of you. Sometimes, you will focus on what your blinded heart is saying and completely ignore the warnings you’re being given from your gut, your head, your common sense.

Sometimes, you won’t realize how much a person has been bringing you down because you’re used to their drama. It’s become a tradition to you. You’ve grown to think of it as normal when they hang up the phone on you or ditch you for better plans at the last second. Maybe you never bat an eye when they hurt you because you expect it. But that shouldn’t be the way your friendships or relationships work. You shouldn’t let it roll off your back when someone curses you out or insults your weight because that’s just the way they are. You deserve more respect than that.

Sometimes, you’re going to have a hard time letting go. You’re going to procrastinate pressing that block or unfriend button because it breaks your heart to say goodbye. Unfortunately, sometimes, the hardest things you have to do in life are the things you need the most.

Sometimes, you need to walk away from people you love in the name of self-care, in the name of mental health, in the name of personal growth. Sometimes, you have to stop and ask yourself whether this person who supposedly cares about you is pushing you forward or anchoring you in place. Sometimes, even though it’s the last thing you want to do, you have to release someone you love into the wild.