new bedtime habit so i can start sleeping early instead of spiralling

for muslims struggling with hygiene as a result of their mental health, remember that allah is ar rauf the most compassionate and ar rahman the most kind.

your struggle to get up and clean yourself doesn't alienate you from allah. you may not be able to take wudhu and shower but you are still attempting to and even when you can't, you still had the intention to which counts.

also, i think people find it challenging to understand that even though your brain isn't kind to you, god is and we should do our best to extend that same kindness to ourselves and the world around us.

it's still not easy to move through life knowing i've lost so much and not every loss is regained, let alone replaced. i'm not where i thought or imagined myself to be, there are both pros and cons to this but what matters is which i choose to focus on. how do i strike a balance between validating and honouring the grief of what has passed whilst making room for what's in store? people think you can only grieve what you once had but that's not true, what you wanted but never got hurts just as bad. going through life projecting your own pain and insecurities on others means you can never truly be happy for them, since you will question your worth. this deservingness that you seem to lack.

will add to this bit by bit

personal reflections

ptsd and school

grieving insomniac

losing a friend

the big why

love and family

journaling beginning

grief deep dive

tl:dr my favourite thing about wearing niqab is the confidence it gives me to memorize quran in public.

{ ٱلرَّحۡمَٰنُ عَلَى ٱلۡعَرۡشِ ٱسۡتَوَىٰ }

[surah taha: 5]

the most compassionate, ˹who is˺ established on the throne.

whenever we think of people in power, we don't think of mercy but rather abuse. the expection is betterment and instead most times, it's the opposite. having that much control on the lives of others will result in distance from empathy so they're acting on their sole benefit.

allah will never do that because of his compassion. allah wants the best for his servants out of love, rather than any benefit obtained from doing so. he is above needing anything and anyone.

hi and salam to all,