(I have not watched Heated Rivalry and I know nothing about hockey beyond what I learnt from reading Check Please! and its fanfiction, but you have made me curious)

(also, hi, I miss sharing a fandom with you <3 )

This is a photo from the 2005 world juniors international men's hockey tournament. In this photo Canada has just triumphed over Russia to win gold, leaving Alexander Ovechkin (Left) and Evgeni Malkin in tears. Two young Russian men (18 or 19 years old here), so overcome with emotion at being second best that they are weeping in public. Yes, Ovi will go on to be the greatest goalscorer of all time. Yes, Geno will be a three-time cup champion. But in this moment their whole lives have been building to this moment and they failed.

I think also in order to understand this you need to understand that (at times) in Russia, hockey is political in ways that it is not in other parts of the world. When an American says they want to do their best for their country at, say, the olympics, you know, they'll get a little misty-eyed and feel kinda patriotic maybe when their anthem is played or whatever and some camaraderie with their fellow countrymen at the village. Meanwhile in Russia, if you're Alex Ovechkin, perennial captain of the national team for international contests, Vladimir Putin might call you up on your personal cell phone (because he DOES have your number) to yell at you and demand an explanation for why you have personally failed in your service to your nation (in a goddamned team sport ffs, sometimes while you weren't even on the ice because of injury, but I digress).

Ovi as captain quickly grew into someone who doesn't much wear his heart on his sleeve and can navigate the complexities and politics of captaining a team the way he does - the loud side you see of his personality is carefully selected, in my opinion. I don't think we ever got quite as raw and honest a look at how he continues to feel about such things than we did in that 2005 world juniors tournament, but I can only assume what he feels is even more intense than what Geno does - and we do know that when Geno returned from the Sochi olympics he was profoundly depressed at his national team loss on home soil. So much so that there are articles about how the only thing that helped him climb out of his funk was his captain Sidney Crosby having a deep private conversation with him - presumably about all that crazy pressure and grieving the loss. I can only imagine how hard that had to be, especially in the context of being Sid's teammate - whose arguably most iconic triumph is (as you may well know being Canadian even if you never followed hockey) personally scoring the gold medal winning goal in the Vancouver olympics as captain of the team. Storybook shit.

Sid (who's partially the inspiration for Shane Hollander) is very much the closest analogue to Ovi on the Canadian side of the world, and he undoubtedly has felt incredible pressure to perform, to bear the weight of Team Canada on his shoulders too. But it's... just different.

Even if you're not in hockey RPF or heated rivalry fandom it's interesting stuff just in terms of history/anthopology alone. I can recommend a fascinating read From Behind the Red Line: A North American Hockey Player in Russia by Tod Hartje and Lawrence Martin which is the autobiographical story of "a young Harvard-educated varsity hockey star, who travels to Russia in the dying days of the Soviet Union to play elite league hockey." Basically a guy who was probably not gonna make it far in the NHL and had the opportunity to do an exchange program to the USSR instead - because again, in this time period in particular, hockey is genuinely part of political maneuvering and diplomacy. It's very much from one perspective and of its time, but it's a very human and fascinating historical look at the cultural differences in hockey between two halves of the world, and it's set from the time period people like Alex Ovechin and Evgeni Malkin (and in the fiction realm, Ilya Rozanov who is partially based on Ovi) are coming up as children in professional hockey in the USSR and Russia.

So. Getting back to my original point, in Heated Rivalry, in the first episode we have some scenes of Shane and Ilya facing each other in a world juniors equivalent tournament. I've seen (non-hockey) people talk about these scenes as like a little meet-cute, a ha-ha how fun for them to flirt in the handshake line - oh look at how brusque Ilya is he must be flustered by Shane's happy flush and freckles and "see you at the draft" or whatever the line is. Aw look at them riling each other up getting competitive! Meanwhile I'm sitting there like - fucking look at him, Ilya is crushed. The fact that he's going first in the draft is still (at least at that time) tainted by his loss on the world stage. Yes, Shane has been in a pressure cooker his whole life too, and going second in the draft is a disappointment that will eat at him a long time, but that pressure is different. When Shane has his turn losing his tournament, his disappointment is personal. He's probably never had the thought that if he fails in a hockey game a politician could decide to make life difficult for his family members back home.

All the details they put in there, the nuances in the acting choices, the references being made to all that context I described above changes the way those scenes work. These two young men are the same in so many ways, facing the same tournament, the same draft and the yawing chasm of their pro hockey career on the horizon - but they are profoundly foreign to each other at the same time. There are much bigger forces in play complicating how they can interact with and relate to each other than just general societal homophobia and romance story tropes.

To understand why we’re so susceptible to false memories requires understanding that the brain doesn’t store memories the way a phone stores photos. When you live through something, your hippocampus— a deep brain structure vaguely shaped like a seahorse—encodes that experience by binding together its constituent pieces: what you saw, what you heard, where you were, how you felt. That bound-together pattern is the memory. Over hours and days, the hippocampus replays these patterns, perhaps while you sleep, gradually strengthening their hold in the cortex, in a process called consolidation. What makes these memories so unlike phone storage, and especially relevant here, is that recalling a memory means the brain must partially relive it. The brain recalls by reactivating some of the same sensory and spatial patterns that were present during the original experience. Your brain doesn’t access a stable, static stored memory of yourself at that summer picnic in the park; your brain recreates it by activating some of the same neural circuitry that fired when you were actually squinting in the sun, actually wiggling your toes in the warmed grass. During recall, it fires again, faintly. The beauty of memory, not as a static storage bank but as a dynamic process of on-demand re-creation, is that it’s efficient. You can access a tremendous amount of information about your past without having to dedicate special storage space to your personal archive. But that efficiency comes with risks. Each time you replay and reconsolidate a memory, it can subtly change. Other things you’re thinking about during recall, how you feel while recalling it, other, similar memories that activate similar patterns of neurons, these can mix and mingle and, ultimately, change the reconsolidation of the original memory itself. And once changed, it doesn’t revert because there is no gold-standard stored version. There is only the latest replay. And because memories are, essentially, reactivations of specific patterns of sensory and other neural activity, that means that sensory patterns alone can get consolidated as memories. This is a false memory. And a false memory, once seeded, benefits from the same machinery as real ones. And the brain’s fact-checker, the prefrontal cortex, arrives late to the scene: the reactivation of sensory and other neural pathways is already underway, the memory reconstruction already in progress, before any evaluation of whether the memory is genuine even begins. Applying any of this to a deepfake app is uncharted territory, but talking to Loftus, I started to see how false memory science might apply. The passage of time would likely be important. Initially, a person might remember creating a specific video, and the mind could reject the contents as false. But if the memory of creation fades while the contents persist, the pre-frontal fact-checking defenses begin to disappear. The false memory is more likely to feel real. False memories would probably strengthen with repeated exposure to the video—the illusory truth effect shows that repetition makes false claims feel truer, and while studies of false autobiographical memory have mostly involved active suggestion rather than passive viewing, those using multiple sessions consistently produced stronger effects. So false Sora memories would probably strengthen with repeated exposure to the video—essentially, Sora would be stimulating replay processes in the brain, helping to further consolidate the false memory. And knowing they are AI generated may not matter: In Loftus’s MIT study, labeling content as “AI-enhanced” didn’t prevent false memory formation. We would probably tend to defer to AI-generated videos simply because they resemble the kind of external record we’re used to treating as incontrovertible truth. Sora capitalized on every one of these dynamics: synthetic video of yourself, in your pocket and infinitely rewatchable, stealthily inheriting the authority already granted to the phone’s camera roll.

it is well established that holmes' return/empty house was partially influenced by hornung doing the same with raffles in black mask/no sinecure, im not saying anything new there. BUT i haven't actually re-read Return in order all at once since i got completely absorbed into raffles, and i have been kind of astonished recently listening to the coules radio holmes at Just How Much of return has explicit or abstract references either to raffles or to hornung irl! which is really cool! and i think some of these are things that i wouldnt have even noticed before i started getting into like. detailed behind the scenes reading on hornung so it really wouldnt be on the radar for ur average holmes fan. so:

Raffles and Hornung References in The Return of Sherlock Holmes:

Loss of muscle memory could be explained by skill regression in CDDs, which is a relatively common experience. It can also be benign (such as a response to regular stress) or a part of some physical health conditions. It also can potentially occur on the lower levels of structural dissociation such as C-PTSD.

From the DSM-V section on DID:

"Dissociative amnesia (Criterion B) manifests in several major domains: 1) gaps in any aspect of autobiographical memory (e.g., important life events like getting married or giving birth, lack of recall of all school experiences before high school); 2) lapses in memory of recent events or well-learned skills (e.g., how to do one’s job, use a computer, cook or drive); and 3) discovery of possessions that the individual has no recollection of ever owning (e.g., clothing, weapons, tools, writings or drawings that he or she must have created)."

From The Haunted Self (theory of structural dissociation):

"Loss of skills not only involves the absence of certain mental actions, but also of behavioral actions. When EP has complete executive control, the daily life skills of ANP are often missing. Thus, survivors as EP commonly report that they have no idea how to cook, take care of children, or perform work duties, and generally feel inadequate and overwhelmed with the tasks of daily life because they do not have access to needed skills for periods of time."

As for limb weakness, that may have something to do with functional neurological symptoms, which can be associated with trauma and dissociation (which used to called "conversion symptoms" and is now commonly called "somatoform dissociation"). It can be an associated feature of CDDs but it's not exclusive to them.

From the DSM-V section on DID comorbidity:

"The most common forms of functional neurological symptom disorder include nonepileptic seizures, gait disturbances, and paralyses. Most commonly, nonepileptic seizures resemble grand mal seizures or complex partial seizures with temporal lobe foci; others may mimic absence or partial seizures."

And from The Haunted Self again:

"Temporary or more permanent loss of motor control includes partial or total paralysis of limbs or the entire body, contractures, physical lack of coordination, cataplexy (i.e., a sudden and general loss of muscle tension)... These symptoms are often dissociative in nature and can be trauma related... With regard to freezing, patients report being unable to move while still feeling extremely fearful and hypervigilant...In this condition survivors’ muscles become flaccid and sometimes they temporarily may remain in fixed positions."

So while these things can be a part of CDDs, they can also appear in less complex structural dissociation and also other health conditions. I'd say it's worth bringing up to a medical professional.

Some studies that may be helpful:

Dissociation and its biological and clinical associations in functional neurological disorder: systematic review and meta-analysis

Dissociation and interoception in functional neurological disorder

Cortical thickness alterations linked to somatoform and psychological dissociation in functional neurological disorders

Toward a possible trauma subtype of functional neurological disorder: impact on symptom severity and physical health

Somatoform Dissociation: Major Symptoms of Dissociative Disorders

Degree of somatoform and psychological dissociation in dissociative disorder is correlated with reported trauma

Somatoform Dissociation, Psychological Dissociation, and Specific Forms of Trauma

Somatoform dissociative symptoms as related to animal defensive reactions to predatory imminence and injury

TABITHA: We talked to Axl Rose of Guns N’ Roses recently, the terminally tardy guy. If fans think that they are the only ones that Axl keeps waiting, they should know that I waited till 4:00 in the morning for an interview with Axl last weekend in Houston, and we talked about Guns N’ Roses being the recipients of the Video Vanguard Award. Here’s more.

VOICE-OVER: Guns N’ Roses earned the Video Vanguard Award by elevating the art of music video to dramatic heights, especially through the elaborate ‘November Rain’ and ‘Don’t Cry’ flicks. Those videos are two parts of a continuing saga that the band plans to expand into a feature-length film. 

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW THE CUT]

HELLO FRIEND!!! I am very 🤝 about trying to write more for OCs, especially publically! I love reading about other people's OCs though :^) you can bet I will be eagerly awaiting more Cole lore to peruse 👀

Corey has been a beloved blorbo for long enough that her tag on my blog actually isn't super consistent- my more recent posts about her are under #oc: corey-er, and those are the ones I recommend reading! This one about her SPECIAL stats, this one listing her fun facts, and this themed ask set are probably the most detailed I've done so far. I have some uh. Very old art of her hiding away in my blog, though it's not particularly up to my standards these days and I'd like to re-do a lot of it some day. I also have a post in the works about her brain damage because I love medicine and cranial GSW is a fascinating injury to explore.

The tl;dr is that she has retrograde amnesia, though it's mostly only autobiographical in nature. I like to describe her deal as "former self haunting the narrative". She brushes against her past a good deal, and is still affected by her trauma even if she doesn't realize she even has it, or remember where it came from. She's driven initially by her desire to find out who she is, so she chases familiarity pretty hard in the hope that it will jog her memory. She sides with the NCR, partially because of the fact that they feel so familiar to her and they're the most directly opposed to the Legion, who she has a very visceral instinctual hatred for. She primarily travels with Boone, Veronica, Arcade, Rex, and ED-E as companions, though she does travel at least briefly with all the companions in canon.

Outside of working for the NCR, she's most active as a member of the Followers, and is respected enough by the Brotherhood to have been offered an opportunity to join them, though she never accepted. She's also viewed positively by the Boomers, Great Khans, Kings, and most small townships around the wasteland. The Powder Gangers she put back in NCR custody are scared shitless of her, and her bounty in the Legion is probably the highest of anyone in Nevada. The Strip has pretty... mixed feelings? I would say? She essentially castrated the Omertas, and is generally frowned upon by the White Gloves for her crass and unsophisticated demeanour, so ironically that means the Chairmen like her the best out of the three families.

Hi. We're going into this no lube, only trauma

Worst!Logan Howlett/Wolverine x Cis! Female Reader, Post DPAW

CW: implied roman catholicism, religious trauma, implied cult abuse and child abuse later in the story, ugly burning yearning, short and awful prologue, the story is partially autobiographical, the (Name) in this is a little emotionally stunted and horrible but that's what character development is for

Divider by @/saradika

Bonus points if you can do a weird fact per song 🤨

I can try!!

Good timing he just started talking about 52nd Street on the sirius XM channel lol.

52nd Street kind of doesn't get its due in the narrative which is very unfair! Mostly he says he didn't want to make The Stranger 2: Electric Boogaloo (I added the electric boogaloo part) and that he was influenced by jazz (which he calls grown-up music) and Latin music. 52nd Street won album of the year which he thinks is because The Stranger didn't win because it was up against Saturday Night Fever.

I feel like there aren't a lot of weird stories per se from this era because he was just riding the momentum and excited about making albums although there was this story I think from a couple years later but that probably applies to this period too about how he would become a "raw nerve" and "handle with care fragile" while writing and the band had this dynamic where they were just.... mean to each other and they all started talking about his new songs were garbage but they couldn't tell him because he'd fall apart while "accidentally" leaving the intercom on in the studio so he could hear it as a prank. They all remember this period fondly.

Big Shot - He opened with this in Cuba and apparently the audience loved it but we don't have video because Elizabeth, who was both his wife and his manager at the time, wouldn't let them film him. She was probably doing what she thought he wanted and I suspect he had one of his little meltdowns about it because he hates being on camera but I don't have proof of this it's just a hunch. This song had multiple inspirations but it was partially autobiographical and he likes to say he's done a lot of research for it, lol. This used to be his most unhinged live song and a lot of videos where people comment that he was obviously wasted are from Big Shot and if you watch the full concert you can see that he was actually acting as part of the bit for the song.

Honesty - This one is easy. This song was originally Sodomy courtesy of Liberty DeVitto. Billy Joel also called it the most bullshit song he ever wrote.

My Life - I think he's over it now but Billy Joel hated this song for a while, said it didn't age well, said "I can't stand that song!" when he had to do a bit of it during a soundcheck, etc. Unrelatedly (or maybe not) someone filed one of those nonsense lawsuits all big artists get claiming Billy Joel plagiarized My Life from him etc. etc. and his lawyers told him to settle and I think he eventually did but he wasn't happy about it about he would say things like "I want to kill this guy" in public. Also Liberty DeVitto claims he wrote lyrics for this song that make Sodomy seem tame but he refuses to share them publicly because he "has daughters."

Zanzibar - This song took off on tiktok in like 2021 which means someone had to explain to Billy Joel what tiktok is which amuses me because in at the New Yorker 2015 he told us "I don't twitter" and said he only used the internet to occasionally browse porn.

Stiletto - Okay I only have one fact that relates to this song and another one further down but here's a weird thought: I've seen people talk about this song like it means he hates his wife or whatever and like while the song obviously describes a toxic relationship I have always gotten the impression that the narrator is extremely into it and that probably has implications but I won't speculate further.

Rosalinda's Eyes - He describes this as the song his father should have written for his mother and he made the characters in the song Latino because he was inspired by Latin music at the time and because his father and paternal grandparents lived in Cuba for about a year while waiting for the US to let them in after fleeing Nazi Germany (there was a quota for Jewish refugees!) and his father attended the University of Havana during this time and apparently this was at the same time Fidel Castro was there so technically Billy Joel's father went to college with Fidel Castro.

Half a Mile Away - The original lyrics to this song were "your love is like a razor blade" and he said that didn't make a very good song and has not commented on the fact that he has a song called Stiletto with that exact theme on the same album.

Until the Night - This song was inspired by the Righteous Brothers and Billy Joel sang a cover of a Righteous Brothers song at Don Henley's wedding that Jack Nicholson loved so much he followed him around for the rest of the wedding reception.