#this is deranged

I try to keep myself contained, as I already said, but I have to talk about Aryton Senna and Alain Prost like NOW. They are my banner and the whole decor theme of my Tumblr for a reason. Their dynamic and the lore enveloping these two men until the extremely bitter end never ceases to drive me genuinely crazy when I think about it.

So, I’m gonna talk about them like a crazy bastard now. I can’t help it.

Aryton is most famously 12, and despite racing 27, 1, 8, and such he was always known most famously as 12. 12 was and has always been his big number. What was Alain’s number when he was by Aryton’s side? 11. It was 11. This little detail drives me crazy. Despite being in their era of literally wanting each other dead, they had matching numbers, uniforms, cars, everything. They obviously had their rivalry to fuel but the companionship rooted so deep into that and that alone is so precious. And obviously Alain had other numbers, like 27 and 2 and all but still. Your numbers won’t always tell your full story, but I really do love the small nudge at genuine friendship this was, unintentional or not.

Another thing I have always enjoyed finding the fact of was how lost Aryton was in 93-94. Obviously, until he passed. I can’t remember exactly where I read it, but someone said that Aryton would be looking around in the paddock for Alain all the time. And people had to remind Senna that the guy was retired now. He couldn’t go annoy his friend in his own team’s zone or anybody else's either. He was restricted and unable to bite at Alain, the poor guy was crazed over it. It’s so interesting to me, I love it.

Senna, from everything we know, has always had a super complex and messy emotional plate. He was a cocky bastard and a dick to people like Alain for fun, he was sweet to an extent with fans, he only put up with so much before you could tell he had absolutely no desire to be present in the activity or whatever was going on, and he had a lot of concerns about his fellow pilots and the sport he loved so much deep down. I’ve always noticed that when Alain talks about Senna in interviews, especially the older he gets, the more it’s like the guy processes what Aryton was trying to get him to understand in the moment. Impossible to read until he’s literally haunting your memory type of thing, but it always seems to be in a sweet way. Like the most genuine and loving thing. He speaks so fondly and wants to defend every millimeter of Aryton’s honor and dignity. He actively stated he detests the 2010 Netflix “Senna” and hates the rep in it, he returns to media to damper burning questions when he sees fit, and he never stops retelling and rehashing whatever old stories he has about the guy. All in a bid of honesty and genuine care for the man, and I just love that so much.

Their rivalry may have been cruel, bitter, etc- Even the reason that Alain walked away and left Senna standing in Marlboro McLaren alone, but it was full of  a lot of fun too. You could tell on good days those guys were absolutely thriving on each other’s energy. I think they always were in a way really. That rivalry certainly drove Senna, I think he even told people that many times. Which all of that lines up entirely for Aryton, the guy thrived on the competition to an insane degree and I think Alain loved that about him. It gave the guys a run for their money in a way unmatched for sure!

I feel like they both played each other’s saint and sinner on the other’s shoulders. Like picture Alain staring in the mirror thinking, then sinner Senna appears and spits up something about how he’s gonna totally kick his ass this season, then Saint Senna goes on and says “But you’re going to do great as well! Our team will surely top the others via mutual work!” And Alain is left groaning because he knows he’ll have to deal with the real, and highly snarky, bastard in about an hour at most if he’s lucky. The exact opposite for Aryton too! Evil Alain versus Nice Alain on his shoulders. And I LOVE that about them. Also, Sinner Senna totally indulges in the angry and snarky yapping about how short Alain is because that’s peak. I love it-

AND IMOLA. The fateful 1994 Imola GP. Aryton’s little “I would like to say welcome to my old friend, Alain Prost. Tell him we miss him very much.” FUCK. Like. Aryton you really did love that man, huh? You cared a lot, you WERE a lost puppy all season, you missed your rival, and literally. The second he was back in your corner. You died. Ill-fated lovers? No. A duo literally struck down from any semblance of possibility by divine fucking forces itself. How fucked. God. OKAY.

And Alain has never ever stopped talking about him since. No matter how badly that hurts. Dedication in that craft… Fuck.

OKAY. I won’t keep digging for now… I’ll go back to heaving but. Please.