#thinking things through

Just an example... at eighteen, in many many places - one is considered an "adult". But there are many who are not mature enough to hold that title. It's not a bad thing. It's just the reality of their situation. They're still learning how to be an adult and handle adult situations, carry adult responsibilities... all of that. While others? They've been an adult for quite a few years at that point. It all depends on the individual.

My daughter, who is eighteen and obviously still lives with us (which doesn't bother me at all and frankly, it confuses me when parents are bothered by that fact...) asked if she could get a kitten. Now... she already has a cat. Little psycho that it is... but that's beside the point. It's reasonable request... however... it's one that isn't thought out. We already have two cats (total). She rarely takes part in their upkeep, either of them. Again, not something I particularly care about as it's a chore that is divided out... it's kind of like "whoever sees the dish empty, fill it" type situation. But her request, again, is one that's not thought out. And... again, her age does come into play here but not in the way that "oh, she's 18, she's immature, blah blah" no. More in that... her mind doesn't automatically think something through entirely. Some people never get this. Others have had it from a very young age. With this kitten issue... maturity, adulthood... responsibility... thinking things through. Getting a pet isn't as simple as "oh, I think I'll get one" and calling it a day. There are expenses to consider. Vet bills... food... for a cat - it's litter, etc. Then it's how it will affect the home if there are already pets in it. All of that. And while she's bummed that the answer was and will remain "no", it occurred to me that many, like I've seen on here, would take this situation and spin it... call us horrible rotten parents who are somehow abusing her... or... putting her down or some bullshit. That's not an age thing, that's a maturity thing.

While there are parents out there who say 'no' just because it's easier. Those are few and far between, even if you don't think so. More often than not, they have a reason. Even if they answer 'no' rather quickly... it's because a mature mind can go through the scenarios, the outcomes, the processes, all the steps in all the directions very quickly. And come to the conclusion a lot quicker than a developing mind can. As soon as my daughter said "can I get a kitten?" My brain went "our older cat and her cat would both freak the fuck out... we're planning on possibly getting dogs in the next six months, she knows this... how are we going to afford the vet bills of all those animals, that shit-box already struggles with just two cats and another one would require another litter box, and more cleaning, and more litter and more food and she doesn't even do any of that as it is, and she wants another one - that's not a good idea". Within a minute, as in 60 seconds, "no" came out of my mouth. She doesn't have a job yet, she's still in school, she's already crazy busy with that. Having a kitten, a baby kitten, little thing... takes attention, takes time. Her room is always a mess, she cleans it - yeah but it has cords everywhere and paint brush jars with water and everything - not a room for a kitten to be in. Things I know she hasn't thought of.

(Except that it wouldn't just hurt me and I especially don't want to hurt and disappoint my significant other by hurting myself.)

But I really, really deserve it. I'm evil and vile and disgusting and deserve nothing but pain and suffering.

I have big plans this year but those plans involve a steady income. And right now, I’m just not thinking straight about the steady income. I am terribly unhappy at work and don’t want to stay there. But I know that if I stay there, I’ll have that steady income I need to make some dreams come true. On the other hand, I know there’s an opportunity that could be quite fruitful if I choose to make…