We Promise To Behave - Alfie Buttle
You and Alfie swear youâll behave.
Itâs filmed on the set of The Fellas podcast bright lights, big table, mics clipped on, cameras close enough to catch every tiny reaction. Across from you sit Calfreezy and Chip, both already suspicious before the episodeâs even started.
âProfessional,â Alfie says quietly before the cameras roll, giving you a pointed look.
âObviously,â you reply.
Youâre lying. Both of you.
The intro starts. Freezyâs in full host mode. Chipâs relaxed, leaning back, ready to stir something up if needed.
Alfieâs knee presses against yours under the table almost immediately.
You donât move it.
He doesnât either.
Heâs nodding along to whatever Freezyâs saying, pretending heâs focused, but his fingers hover dangerously close to your thigh. Not touching. Just resting there like heâs testing his own self-control.
You shift slightly closer.
His jaw tightens.
âDonât,â he mutters without turning his head.
âIâm not doing anything,â you whisper back.
Chip pauses mid-sentence. âWhy do you two look guilty already?â
âWe donât,â Alfie says too quickly.
Freezy squints at you both. âItâs been thirty seconds.â
You sit up straighter, innocent expression locked in. Alfie clears his throat and forces himself to focus.
It lasts about two minutes.
You laugh at something and grab his arm instinctively. Your fingers linger. His hand comes up automatically to cover yours, thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles before he even realises what heâs doing.
Freezy leans back in his chair slowly. âBrother.â
You both separate like youâve been caught passing notes in class.
âCarry on,â Alfie mutters, trying to look normal.
He answers the next question wrong. Completely wrong. Chip bursts out laughing.
âYouâre not listening at all,â Chip says, pointing at him. âWhatâs going on?â
âNothing,â Alfie replies, but his voice is rougher now.
Midway through the episode, you lean in to whisper something harmless genuinely harmless but your lips hover just a little too close to his ear. His hand slides to your waist instinctively, fingers pressing in slightly like he needs grounding.
He inhales sharply.
âBehave,â he murmurs, low enough only you can hear.
âYou behave,â you reply.
Freezy stops talking. Just stares at you both.
âThere is insane tension right now,â he says flatly.
âThere isnât,â Alfie insists.
There absolutely is.
Under the table, your thigh brushes his again this time deliberate. His hand grips your knee lightly, steady but firm.
âIf you donât stop,â he mutters quietly, eyes flicking to you, âIâm actually going to lose focus.â
âYou already have.â
Chip leans forward. âWhy do I feel like we shouldnât be here?â
Freezy shakes his head. âIâm separating you next time.â
You both try to behave after that. You genuinely try. Sitting upright. Hands to yourselves. Looking forward.
But every time you laugh, you lean into him. Every time he shifts, his shoulder brushes yours. Every time thereâs a pause in conversation, his fingers drift back to your waist like they belong there.
By the time Freezy finally says, âRight, thatâs a wrap,â the tension is ridiculous.
Cameras click off.
The room relaxes.
Alfie stands and pulls you up with him without thinking. His hands settle on your waist immediately, like heâs been holding back the entire time.
âYouâre impossible,â he says quietly, a faint smile tugging at his mouth.
âYou didnât move away,â you reply.
He steps closer, lowering his voice so only you hear.
âI didnât want to.â
In the background, Freezy groans. âIâm banning couples.â
Chip laughs. âNext episode, opposite ends of the table.â
It wouldnât matter.
Because the second youâre near each other â cameras or not you both forget thereâs anyone else in the room.

















