#the sin-eater

******

“Hey,” Kenny whispered loudly. Levi opened his eyes, squinting at Kenny in the dim light of the kitchen. "I’m going to go get it. Keep the shop closed and start cooking.” Levi reached up, rubbed at his face with his hands.

“What?” he grunted. After rubbing his eyes, Levi looked up at Kenny again. He couldn't see Kenny's face well in the shadows, but Kenny didn't answer anyway. Levi watched Kenny walk out of the kitchen, and he heard the front door open and shut. For a moment, Levi was confused, until he started thinking about Kenny's words. Closed shop. Start cooking.

Levi stood from his chair, dropping his blanket, and made a very wobbly attempt to get up the stairs. His mother's bedroom was dark. He never left it that way. He wanted her to have light so she wouldn't be afraid. Levi walked into the bedroom and saw from the lamp of the hallway that Kenny had covered Kuchel's face with her blankets.

Slowly, Levi knelt down next to the bed and listened. She wasn't breathing anymore. The silence in the room was heavy. Levi exhaled in a huff and breathed again. He gasped for air the second time, and all of it felt unreal for a moment. Sleep still clouded his mind, but he was still so grateful that she was finally resting. After nine months of hell, of being awake constantly, never being able to stay calm until her body couldn't move, until she couldn't call for him anymore, Kuchel was finally resting. And Levi felt so relieved.

Typically, once a body was covered, it wasn't supposed to be uncovered if a sin-eater was going to be employed. But Levi wanted to see her again. He reached up and slowly pulled the sheet back. Kuchel's black hair fanned out under her, and Levi smiled. Her eyes were finally closed. She looked peaceful.

Levi covered her back up. He stayed by the bed for a few minutes longer, trying to imagine something  to say. But she couldn't hear him, and he didn't feel comfortable talking to an empty room. He stood from the side of the bed, went to his room to dress for the day, and glanced at the open door of her room once more before he went downstairs.

Cooking would take all day. The dishes weren’t difficult to make, but beef was best when it was slow roasted. While he began preparing the food, Levi tried not to think of what was going happen, but he couldn't help himself.

He had never seen a sin-eater before, had only heard them described, and felt apprehensive about having one in his home. There were only male sin-eaters. Females couldn't be sin-eaters, but Levi didn't know why. He had never asked. Sin-eaters were gluttonous, fat, smelled of death, and their services were expensive. They were quarantined behind a tall stone wall north of town. Civilians weren't allowed within the walls, but the sin-eaters lived well. They had their own schools, and they used the money that they made from bereaved families to have feasts. Most sin-eaters had more money than a typical citizen. To Levi, they were a necessary evil for an old ritual that people in the country still believed. For the ritual to work, he was supposed to cook his mother's favorite foods and place the food around her body, and the sin-eater would eat the meal, presumably along with Kuchel's sins. Then, her soul could go to Paradise.

Levi wasn't sure that he believed in all of it. Consuming physical food to rid someone of sins sounded stupid. But he also didn't want to risk having Kuchel's soul go somewhere instead of Paradise. He wanted her to rest.

Once the beef was set to roast, Levi took a pan of potatoes into the dining area, sat at one of the tables, and began peeling. He stopped when he realized that he was using one of the knives that Kuchel had been using when she had cut herself. Even though he had cleaned it over and over, he felt sick holding it in his hand. He set the knife down on the table, leaned over it, rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

******

By the time Kenny came back, it was night time again. Kenny had been gone all day, and that left Levi sitting in his arm chair, bouncing his leg with anxiety. If Kenny disappeared for some reason, if he didn't come back, then Levi would have to go get a sin-eater the next night. But the food would ruin. He didn't care about the sin-eater's tastes, but the ritual wouldn't work if the food wasn't any good.

When someone knocked at the entrance of the shop, Levi got up from his chair and almost ran to the front door. He slowed himself down long enough to look outside to see who it was. Kenny, with someone else standing behind him.

Levi unlocked the door and held it open. Kenny walked inside, took his hat off, and looked back out the door.

“What took so fucking long?” Levi asked.

“I couldn’t get the order before the sun came up. We had to wait until nightfall,” Kenny said. “Step back, kid.” Levi frowned up at him and didn't move. Kenny grabbed him by the arm, pulled hard enough that Levi almost stumbled.

“What-”

“Come in,” Kenny said. Kenny continued to step back, pulling Levi with him, and Levi turned his head towards the open door when he heard someone step inside.

The man that walked through the door wasn't fat. He was tall, wide shoulders, slim hips, blond hair, blue eyes, and he smiled. He was dressed well, with a white shirt that had all of its buttons, black slacks, a black coat, straps of a black rucksack over his shoulders, black leather gloves covering his hands, gleaming black shoes. Levi's eyebrows furrowed.

“Hello,” he said. “My name is Erwin Smith the sin-eater.” He said it all together as if the cursed designation was part of his name, and instead of offering his hand, Erwin bowed his head towards Levi. “Thank you for having me in your home, Mr. Ackerman.” When he lifted his head again, Levi felt confused. The man in front of him was too handsome, too well spoken to be a sin-eater.

“Step in farther,” Kenny said, keeping his eyes on Erwin like he was a weapon rather than a person. Erwin stepped into the shop farther, and Kenny moved around him quickly to close the door and lock it. Erwin continued to look at Levi, and Levi didn't break eye contact, repulsed with himself for staring for one of the best looking men he had ever seen, who was also born to be a vessel of sin. “Did you finish cooking and setting up?”

“Yeah,” Levi said.

“Upstairs,” Kenny commanded.  

“Please direct me,” Erwin said without looking at Kenny.

“Take it up there, brat,” Kenny said. He walked around Erwin, not turning his back and stood next to Levi again. “Don't let it touch you. Keep it in front of you.”

Levi looked at Kenny, confused. Kenny glared at him. Breaking eye contact, Levi turned from Kenny, and pointed in the direction of the kitchen for Erwin. Erwin turned, looked at the entrance of the kitchen, and walked quietly across the dining area. Levi walked behind him, staring at the rucksack on his back.

Once they were in the kitchen, Erwin stopped walking, keeping his hands to his sides.

“Up the stairs,” Levi said. Erwin started walking again, and Levi followed him, keeping distance between them. Erwin walked with his back straight, his eyes directly ahead, and didn't seem uncomfortable at all. Levi swallowed, let his eyes stray down to Erwin's calves once while they were walking up the stairs, before he looked at Erwin's rucksack again.

At the top of the stairs, Erwin stopped again, and Levi stepped up a few stairs closer to Erwin, too close actually.

“Through that door in front of you,” Levi said. He had lit a lamp in the room earlier when the sun went down. Erwin walked over to the room, and bowed his head reverently when he walked through the door. Levi had set up a chair and placed the dishes of food on a towel on the floor next to the side of his mother's bed.

Erwin kept his head bowed, looked at the different dishes and pitcher of water, and glanced at the covered body on the bed only once. Levi walked up to the door of his mother's room and watched Erwin.

“Thank you for preparing this,” Erwin said. He shrugged out of his rucksack, set it on the floor slowly next to his feet. “I brought my own utensils, plates, and drinking cup.” Levi didn't answer. When he stood there too long, Erwin lifted his gaze from the floor and looked over at Levi. In response, Levi stood up straighter. “Would you please close the door?”

Embarrassed by his ignorance, Levi didn't spare any time before he reached out, grabbed the handle of the door, and closed it a little harder than he intended.  He stared at the wooden door, listening while he heard Erwin moving in the room, and felt irritated and dirty.

When he turned away from the door, Levi stepped down the stairs quickly, went into the dining area, where Kenny was sitting at one of the tables with a bottle of wine already open.

“That's for customers,” Levi said, walking over to the table. Kenny lifted the bottle poured both of them a glass. Levi sat down, picked up the glass and Kenny lifted his glass.

“To Kuchel,” Kenny said. Levi tapped his glass against Kenny's, and they both took several swallows. When Levi set his glass down, it hit the table hard.

“Can we go?” Levi asked. Kenny shook his head, licking wine from his top lip, setting his glass down.

“We have to stay here and make sure it doesn’t leave,” Kenny said.

“I've never seen one before,” Levi said, lifting his glass again to swallow some more wine. Kenny shook his head.

“I've never seen one like that before,” Kenny said. He looked in the direction of the kitchen.

“What do you mean?” Levi asked, intrigued, hoping to find a reason for why he wanted to look at Erwin rather than admit to himself that the sin-eater was attractive at all.