Feb 23, 2020
Dear ESTP, itās fantastic to see how you grow into your Fe and suddenly become so community-conscious.
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Dear ESTP, itās fantastic to see how you grow into your Fe and suddenly become so community-conscious.
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Out of touch
Gah. Usually I don't like feelings but I do express them. Happiness, anger, irritation, playfulness. All of this, I talk it through and it easily finds an outlet. But depression? Hell if I know. I don't like talking about it to anyone because I think it will make me look weak or pathetic before someone. I want to look good, impressive and be fun to be around. Not a bummer. By no means do I intend to trivialize the suffering of people in depression or those having to deal with other mental health issues, BUT I find it an annoyance and think "How can I fix it?" So, I keep joking about it, fixing it, rationalizing it away or just flat out pretending to be happy because I would rather that the emotional atmosphere at home or when I go out with friends be more light and pleasant. Yesterday though, I just could not. I did not have the energy to pretend. I didn't even want to exist. It hit me pretty hard, and what still upset me looking back on it is "Why is such a trivial thing upsetting me?" This "trivial thing" was a series about body dysmorphia and how it affects people's lives. In my head, this was just a video and I was denying the effects it had on me, till I no longer could. I just went and flopped face down on my bed, lay still for hours. Motionless. Contemplating. If I were to use visual imagery to describe how I felt... It is like I was in a cage made of my own skin, straight-jacketed like someone performing a Houdini trick. I kept gnawing and thrashing about, mauling myself while the cage sunk lower into a fathomless depth. This analogy is not new. There have been several times when I thought I transcended, and was about to rise when my "ankle brace" pulled me down. There are good days, and bad. Yesterday was admittedly kind of rough. The worst part of being out of touch with feelings is a lack of resolution, and proper closure. I never know if something is fully done with, I dig through and I find it easier to comfort someone else while finding my own almost unreachable. That first clang of metal I hear upon digging deep is the Pandora's Box that contains all my negative emotions, the ones I have buried deep within and hope never to have surface. Now, it looks like I will have to put on gloves and stick my hands in. Get them dirty, and deal with whatever happens.
It is far easier to rationalize, keep hopping from one fun thing to another, or just keep mirroring emotions in order to be liked without really focusing on "Where does this fit with my values? Who am I? Who am I becoming?" Either that, or keep giving friends and family what they want. Fake it till you make it right?
This isn't some inspirational post where I decide in the end to go explore my feels and self - actualize. In the end, it is far likely that I will still drive away the feels with memes, jokes and banter but I can try. And may be my dear 1 fix, let that be enough for now.
tert Fe is accidentally hurting someone over something really minor while being slightly self absorbed and then not wanting to see that person for at least three weeks because you feel weirdly bad but don't wanna say anything about it
Argumentative ENTPs
What's with this stereotype?? Like I know it's a stereotype and just a joke most of the time but still??? ENFPs are way more argumentative (but we'll get to that later). In my experience ENTPs are not very argumentative at all. Like, Ti will poke a whole or two in your logic if we feel it's deserved (or I've seen some do it in excess if they really dislike the person) but that's a different thing. Arguing isn't the same as pointing out flaws. I often do it to help other people realize flaws so they can fix them and improve whatever they're doing (if they decide to take it personally, that's not my fault. But I am working on doing it more nicely). People say tert Fe tries to get reactions from people, but only really childish ENTPs (or actual children) would go on with arguing forever. Eventually the socially-aware-and-caring parts of Fe kick in and they knock it off. And even if it didn't, most ENTPs have other (granted, often more weird) ways of getting reactions/attention from others. Honestly, in my experience ENFPs are much much more argumentative than any ENTP I've met. ENFPs often lack the Fe to know when to stop and Fi seems to empower them to want to "be right" so the arguments just keep going. My brother, my dad, and my best friend are all ENFPs. They want the attention and reaction at LEAST as much as your average ExTP. My brother will taunt and infuriate his classmates over political differences when he knows basically nothing of politics. When I suggest that's not a great idea, he responds, "But it's so funny." My ENFP best friend started poking fun at me in a group chat over a silly mistake and kept trying to one-up me and make me look dumb, seemingly just for the sake of "winning." Later I talked to him about it and assured me he was never actually mad and didn't actually care. That doesn't mean I didn't. Lack of Fe -> doesn't consider others -> doesn't know when to stop (this is a generalization. Not true for all, but for many Fi users I know). I love him, but gosh I really hate him sometimes. When Ti users do argue a lot, it at least is founded in some form of logic, typically. Whereas I see Fi users pull at anything that they think could help them. Which is all the more frustrating when I'm trying to talk about improvement from a logical standpoint. So yeah for real, what's up with the argumentative ENTP stereotype? It's the ENFPs, not us. I'm not offended or anything and I don't want ENFPs to be, I just wish there was a more accurate stereotype for making MBTI memes and stuff. Ya know? What are your thoughts and experiences on this?
How often does tert Fe *not* manifest as being kind of an asshole, but instead a lack of awareness/intuition socially, low emotional awareness, etc, but still wanting to care for others and be "nice", even if they aren't great at it?
Fe is a judging and not a perceiving function. so having Fe does -not- grant you any kind of emotional/social awareness or an ability to read others, regardless of where it is in the stacking.
(Se is responsible for people-reading-skills, not Fe, thatās why ENFJs can do it but ESFJs suck at it)
> how oftendoes tert Fe *not* manifest as being kind of an asshole
never. tert Fe is always asshole, just like tert Te is always bossy. even with 9-fix. thatās just the nature of extroverted judging; you express your opinions and judge your environment. and there is no such thing as āsoft judgingā
> but still wanting to care for others and be āniceā, even if they arenāt great at it
depends on who you mean with āothersā but if itās āfriendsā then itās a normal person thing.
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im not gonna spam everyoneās dash with theĀ ātert Fe gang messageā shit but hey im now at least an averageĀ ātert Feā! yay.
Tert Fe means
Bottling up bad emotions for so long that when the bottle is full you can cry because your ice cream fell.
mbtiguy: I feel like tert Fi users are better at being productive than tert Fe users trying to troll everyone
entpepe: IKR. Tert Fi starts a movement and Tert Fe... starts a meme
mbtiguy: I'm quoting
entpepe: Thank