#telling someone

And it's being replaced with a tidal wave of self hate.

So there’s this friend of mine named Jamie. I’ve written about him before but I don’t remember what I said but it might be a branch off from that story. So in elementary me and three other kids were the best of friends! one of these kids was Jamie and we were really cool up into high school when he split off to go to another high school. Well when I started coming out I skipped him because he is really religious and makes gay jokes and comments all the time. Well One of his close friends came out and he was fairly cool about it so I figured maybe he’s not as bad as I thought. He even just asked me if Love, Simon was a good movie and if I would recommend it because he. saw some of the soundtrack in my phone. Well the funny thing is I still haven’t come out to him because at this point it is just so hilarious! Me and literally like every single other person will all explicitly talk about it in front of him and he is SO oblivious! somebody will say “So who’s the guy that you are talking to right now?” and directly after he hears the entire exchange he wills say, “so have you had any girlfriends yet?”????? like WHAT!? And everybody is under strict orders not tell him directly but they can talk about it as much as they want around him and it is just so funny to see somebody so oblivious! and GET THIS! I’m hanging out with him in Starbucks on our college campus and he says, “have you had a girlfriend?” I say no and he says, “Yo you can be honest with me... Are you asexual?” like ARE YOU KIDDING ME! You guess asexual before you guess gay!? How is that even a thing!? I talk about about guys RIGHT in front of you and you guess that I am asexual!? 

I can understand that it is very scary at first to reach out for help. Knowing what to expect can make things easier (I will link you some resources below) as well as addressing what exactly is the scariest aspect of it for you and finding a logical response for that to tell yourself to calm that fear. For example, my biggest fear was having to tell a therapist my whole trauma history. I found out that I didn’t have to do that, and didn’t have to answer any questions I don’t want to , and I told myself that repeatedly when I got anxious. I don’t believe you are imagining your symptoms. If they are distressing you enough to consider getting help, it is fear making you question the validity and severity of your mental illness symptoms. Fear does not get to win forever. You deserve to get help and support and to feel better. Having a friend hold you accountable to make/go to the appointment or even go with you and sit in the waiting room with you can definitely help you make that next step forward. You can also start your conversation by writing out what you are experiencing and your desire to get help and hand it to your regular doctor, a teacher, guidance counselor, parent or friend, that way you are talking to someone you trust more at first who can help you make the next step to getting help. Your fear is not stupid, it is understandable and common. However, it is a fear you can work through, face the fear and do it anyway, it may be worth it. I have faith in you that you can make the next step towards getting help. 

Getting & talking to a therapist

This post on picking a therapist has some great tips.

This is a step by step on getting a therapist.

Psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or counsellor?

50 Signs of Good Therapy

Having issues with therapy?  Here are 50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy

21 Tips for getting the most out of each therapy session

6 Ways to open up to your therapist

What should happen in a session

5 Tips on how to talk about yourself in therapy

Need to find a therapist by location? Psychologytoday lets you search by city or zip code

Can’t afford therapy? No insurance? Need low cost options? Here is a great list of ways to get help when money or insurance is an issue.

Here is a video Demonstrating what a first therapy session may look like made by a mental health professional

7 things to do during your first therapy appointment

How to tell someone about your mental health & interactions with others

This post on telling someone about your mental health problem has some great tips and advice.

This is a post with links to various module you can complete to help you assert yourself.

Talk about Mental Health

How to start your conversation

How to tell the people you love

Video for Parents By Teens Explaining Depression

How and When to Disclose Mental Illness

Hey anon, Thats a great question. I suggest you sit them down and explain to them the symptoms you are experiencing, how they are impacting your life, and a specific plan of how they can help you. 

One way you can ask them to help you is to take you to your GP to discuss your symptoms. If they try to dismiss or minimize what you are experiencing, ask them to just consider going to the dr with you to discuss it. That way they don't have to make a ‘big deal’ out of it, and you can hopefully get closer to getting some help. When you meet with your dr, you can explain to them privately that your parents are dismissive of your issues and that you would like their help in explaining mental health concerns and the benefit of therapy to them. You can also consider showing your parents resources about the things you are struggling with so that they can understand it more and see that it is a serious issue. There are lots of videos and websites targeted for parents, so definitely google search for and utilize those. And in order to help you plan for your discussion, check out our resources on telling someone: 

How to tell someone about your mental health & interactions with others

This post on telling someone about your mental health problem has some great tips and advice.

This is a post with links to various module you can complete to help you assert yourself.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

Talk about Mental Health

How to start your conversation

How to tell the people you love

Video for Parents By Teens Explaining Depression

Helping Your Family Understand MDD

It is normal to have anxiety about telling someone about your mental health struggles. I know with a possible anxiety disorder, that anxiety can feel even more debilitating, but I still believe that you are capable to open up to someone you trust. Telling the first person is always the hardest. From there, it will get easier. Our minds tend to think that things will be unbearable and impossible, but most of the time, things end up not being as awful as we anticipate. Keeping these things in mind, you can begin to strategize who and how you can confide in. The first person you tell should be someone you feel you can trust and/or who will be most receptive. Maybe that is a teacher, guidance counselor, parent, or friend’s parent. Let them know that you will need help telling others because of your anxiety, so they can help you in the process of beginning to find and access the help and support you need and deserve. Perhaps you can write them a letter, if that will be easier than speaking. When writing a letter, you can plan it out in advance, you can even ask us to read it and give you feedback! Have you checked out our resources yet on how to tell someone? I will post them below, that is a great place to start. I know it can feel really scary and overwhelming even thinking about confiding in someone, but I have faith in you. Remember no one ever truly feels “ready” to do something that scares them, eventually we just have to take the leap and go for it anyway (metaphorically, of course). 

How to tell someone about your mental health & interactions with others

This post on telling someone about your mental health problem has some great tips and advice.

This is a post with links to various module you can complete to help you assert yourself.

Here is a online self help book that has some self help tips and information on social skills training.

Talk about Mental Health

How to start your conversation

How to tell the people you love

Video for Parents By Teens Explaining Depression

Helping Your Family Understand MDD

Take care,