#technically i mean

What final boss actually broke you?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

The Ugly Stepsister looks back at Ashwallower and gazes upon thousands of the most miserable pairs of eyes she’s ever seen.

urban fantasy au it is!! i don’t actually rlly know which characters count as main characters other than wilbur, so i’ll just kinda go down the list?? also i can’t remember if i gave the warning earlier but phil is a villain in this one so :’‘ sorry dadza fans, unfortunately i have parental issues and he is in my line of fire. anyway i tried to do this without too many spoilers since there’s a chance i might still write it,, so :’

wilbur: a witch with very weak magic and a short life expectancy whose magic focuses on connections. he takes the missing persons case because he wants to do something good with whatever time he has left, only to find out that he’s been wrapped up in this mess since the beginning

techno & tommy: wilbur’s brothers/phil’s adopted sons. techno is a researcher who studies ways to combine science and magic in the hopes of finding a way to save wilbur, while tommy has essentially taken on the role of being wilbur’s caretaker on bad days

niki & fundy: a brother and sister looking for their missing sibling. they hear that wilbur has a talent for finding what’s lost, and come to him asking for help. eventually, the bond between all of them grows and they start to considering wilbur a good friend as well

jack manifold: a closed-off witch with an unusual connection to the afterlife. his death unlocked latent abilities in his bloodline, and seeing his killers get away with it pissed him off enough that he revived himself through sheer force of will

eret: the missing person themself. they’re the kind of person to seek knowledge and disregard the cost to themself, especially if they felt like there was a chance to help an innocent avoid a terrible fate. they also know a lot about curses, especially when it comes to breaking them!

tubbo: no one, apparently, has heard the name before. they know there’s some connection to the case- the last someone heard from eret they were going to meet a ‘tubbo’, but no one can find any other information about this elusive person. is ‘tubbo’ even a person at all...?

phil: an incredibly powerful witch, and the head of the craft family. he has a great deal of influence over the city despite starting out with little other than a disgraced family name not that long ago- he built himself up from nothing, the stories say, in order to have a legacy to leave to his children (the ones he’s not going to outlive, anyway)

foolish: a college friend of eret’s. he taught them the cipher they used to encode their notes before vanishing, but it seems like their close friendship fell apart for unknown reasons. shortly before foolish passed under mysterious circumstances, they were seen arguing- something about choice, and a refusal to apologize from both parties

scott smajor, mumbo jumbo, grian, & jimmy solidarity: jack’s roommates (jimmy sleeps on the couch)! mumbo gets double-banned from the kitchen after an incident where he accidentally irradiates the soup, jimmy is not allowed anywhere near even the thought of interior decorating, scott is forced to act as the unwilling dad friend even though they don't take him seriously because he sneezes snowflakes and freezes things when he gets startled, and the group collectively keeps a list of how many times grian has broken every law ever. also jack keeps accidentally getting their apartment haunted and mumbo shows up once to be a getaway driver and then never again, which, honestly? iconic

puffy, ranboo, punz, & quackity: all part of wilbur’s information network, none of whom have heard of a ‘tubbo.’ puffy is a pillar of the community, ranboo is a teen who somehow has time to volunteer literally everywhere (seriously, how does he physically do it??), punz is a mercenary living his best life, and quackity is quickly rising in prominence in witch society and especially leadership