#teamalex

SPOILERS.

SPOILERS

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Did Jackie even grieve? I get that 6 month had pass but there was no sign that she was grieving the lost of her family. Her eyes were barely moist. The show tries to push the idea that 25 year Cole, I mean 17 is super hot. Good one writers. Cole and Alex instantly pursue Jackie and they don't even know her. Jackie comes of as a girl who was never give any male attention because as soon as she gets that attention it becomes her whole thing. What happened to characters that want others things. She can want a guy and also want her own things. She mentions Princeton like a few times but that get forgotten over her drama with these boys.

I don't remember none of the young kids. The scene in the rain was pointless. Alex was way to into Jackie he's like 15 right and saying I love after dating for 2 seconds, come on. The guidance counselor seemly moved on to Jackie's uncle and her boyfriend hadn't even left yet

If you want to have a love triangle atleast make it interesting not the same opposite good guy vs bad guy.

Who casted Cole because he should have been playing Wills role. He's too old for highschool student and it was just awkward to watch.

Am i falling for a straight girl, once again?

I would never forget that episode were babe Vause (Alex, from oitnb) said “Never fall for the straight girl”. And there you have it, common knowledge for lesbians that I choose to ignore somehow. 

Why am I feeling this lack of resistance? I know this girl, I used to have a crush on her until she  clearly said to me that she was straight but we could be friends. I took my distance and then became a friend, as i got to knew her more I could see a lot of traits that I didn't like in a partner. Making the fact that I was no longer interested in her in that way attainable. 

In the after math, within time I saw another side of her...one that I did like. A vulnerable, open, creative yet sweetly acquiescent woman. A girl I could take care of and make happy while feeling good. Between hugs, kisses on the cheek, long nights and movie days I have started to doubt my feelings... is it possible that I’m liking her again? I care for her in a very specific way. I want her to get better if she is sick, I want her to be better with her personal choices. I want to be there when she needs to. Maybe deep inside I want her to hug me and take my hand shamelessly.

So what to do now?  Should I believe everything will be okay? She suddenly will stop playing and give this whole “i like this girl” a try? I know this will not happen, that’s not her, even when I can feel her questioning herself. I read her messages, I read how lucky she feels to have me.  Would she  stop asking herself  why am i so cute/good to her and consider me as a choice? And anyways why am I so nice to her?!! I don’t even see myself with this girl, i know better. 

I should know better by now....but some days I’m not so sure. Some days she seems sweeter and keeps me warm, makes me believe that I can be that person for her and she could for me. 

IN THE MEANTIME.....