#laylor

literally no one:

me:

Tonight has been a rather sensitive night for me. I don’t know what triggers it but I’ve just realized how sad I am with my life.

I’m a closeted bi, leaning 90% towards women. And I believe I will forever be in the closet because I don’t have the privilege to come out & the community around me is very homophobic.

I’ve come to conclusion that I probably will never find my one true love. I won’t experience what it’s like to be in love with someone I truly want.

As long as I live, I will continue to adore women from far and imagine myself in a loving relationship with a woman. To cuddle, kiss and caress a woman’s lips. To feel her soft breast against mine. To run my fingers along the lines of her body. To love a woman.

There were times I forced myself to be attracted to the opposite gender. To forget my lust for women but I just can’t lie to myself. I am attracted to women and will always will be. It’s just who I am.

I cry myself to sleep sometimes. Too many times. It hurts to love someone you’re not allowed to. It hurts to feel like your love isn’t legal. It hurts to know that if I ever come out, I’m dead before I can reason myself.

I’d like to believe the existence of parallel universe. I’d like to believe that the other ‘me’ is happily living her life with someone she truly love. I’d like to believe that she’s living her life the way that I dream of living.

「 metadinhas: alex vause/laura prepron and piper chapman/taylor schilling 」