#tbaa

it’s not even about the show, and it hasn’t been for like 20 years now. it’s about the all-encompassing chokehold that two of the characters from this show have had on me since i was about 13 years old. that’s when it started and it hasn’t let me go. better than that, the pairing itself is a complete fabrication, totally built up inside my head and fleshed out by years and years of over-analyzation and inventing things that, objectively, are not there. the maintext of it all is pretty clear but i have a special knack for pulling anything and everything i want out of the subtext. i see what i want to see and i live happily in my little state of delusion.

here’s the kicker: when i say the maintext is clear, i mean it. these characters were not, in any way or by any stretch of the imagination, written with the intention to give off romantic vibes. truly, they weren’t. this show, in all its cheesy (and arguably cringey) glory, was one of the highest rated family-friendly, positivity-focused shows of the 90s. it was the height of the “clean, uplifting, and inspirational” era of network television, with very strong christian undertones.

the show? touched by an angel. the characters?

these two.

yes, these two. characters with one very clear purpose, which is to be on earth to help human beings and spread the message of gods love to the world.

pairing them???? absolutely asinine of me, and yet … here i am, still burning in this fire years and years later. i would die for them. specifically, i would die for my version of them. and i probably will not ever be able to fully explain my adoration or remember what it was that triggered this shift in my young brain or what made me say, “yes, this is what we’re doing now. this is where we live.”

i don’t use the word chokehold lightly. i can spend hours watching bits and pieces of scenes, re-analyzing dialogue, and spilling my thoughts and theories to the one friend i have that also shares this mildly humiliating addiction. thank god for her and thank god for the far corners of the internet. i have written (and read) some very -ahem- unholy fic. and i’ll keep doing it kids. this is a forever kind of thing.

this post is a confession but it’s also a plea for more friends. me and my one friend, we can’t be the only ones out there, right? i know there are others because our fanfic stats tell me so. i see you. i know you’re there. step into the light and be my friend, i beg.

Andrew + Monica in every episode

@teamblueandangry

I figured why not, right? So many of you lovely creators go out of your way to make this fandom what it is and I am so blessed to be a part of it. Sure we have our ups and downs but that’s to be expected. DA for me is a big escape and I have never been more invested in a fandom before this one. So thank you to all you lovely artists and writers and everyone else. I haven’t gotten the chance to participate in many events, but I do love seeing the community come together for them like this. Hopefully this time I can actually take part a little bit. There are far too many amazing creators to name anyone specifically, but I love just about everything this fandom puts out for our two favorite glow-in-the-dark boys. 

And time-permitting I’d love to give back more myself!

As for requests: I am a big sucker for Handers! m!Handers specifically, is my ship of choice. Anders in general is just my favorite character of the series and I have far too many feelings about him. I could go into a long-winded ordeal about why I feel so strongly about him (and this ship) but I’m just gonna leave it there. Anders deserves to be loved.