incorrect bapo quotes (part 1)
there are definitely bapo incorrect quotes already out there somewhere however i have an incredible long incorrect quotes doc so here are some of the Good Ones (incorrect quotes my beloved <3)
Peter: Well, I suppose the only solution would be to tell everyone the truth.
Jason: That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my entire life.
Peter: You can’t make everyone like you, you’re not Jason
Matt: What? Not everyone likes Jason
Peter: Who doesn’t?
Matt: Well mayb-
Peter: Names, Matt, I need names
Nadia: Oh, so now I’m supposed to be nice, make friends and treat her with mutual respect?
Peter: Yeah
Nadia: Wake up, Peter! That’s exactly what Ivy wants me to do
Peter: That’s what everyone wants everyone to do!
Jason: It’s £2.50 per rose
Matt: Who has that kind of money?
Nadia: Ivy loves roses
Matt: I’ll take them all
Lucas: Man, I really like Tanya.
Lucas: I better show her how much she means to me.
Lucas: *sends her a meme at 3am*
Ivy: *pushes a pull door*
Nadia: You’re supposed to pull, not push.
Ivy: Thanks, next I was gonna try lifting the door from the bottom.
Ivy: I'm thinking of doing charity work?
Nadia: You should donate blood
Ivy: Oh, th-
Nadia: All of it.
Ivy: I searched everywhere.
Nadia: What?
Ivy: I looked through hundreds of files.
Ivy: Searched through my messages.
Ivy: I even searched my wardrobe.
Ivy: But I still couldn’t find where I asked for your opinion.
Nadia: …
(okay but this one is based on an actual conversation i had with my friends)
Peter: Do you know how far away December is? Cause I don’t
Jason (joking): 12 months
Nadia: Does it look like fucking Christmas to you?
Ivy (gesturing to the open door): Shhhh
Nadia: Oh sorry, but seriously, does it look like Christmas to you?
Peter (actually thinking): Wait, aren’t there 24 months in a year?
Jason: You’re thinking of the 24 days of Christmas
Nadia: It’s the 12 days of Christmas!
Jason: Well my advent calendar has 24 days on it-
Peter: Wait, how many days are in December?
Nadia: 31!
Ivy: What’s wrong with you?!
Peter: It’s cause we’re gay, we can’t do math
Jason: I can do math
Nadia: Shhhh *gestures around*
Jason: I can do math
Peter (panicking): Sorry uhhh…we’re not gay, we’re uh incredibly straight ummm…we’re homophobic!
Nadia: *facepalms*
Jason: I can do math
Nadia: Everyone I know is on a date right now
Nadia: Well, not all together, but you know what I mean
Nadia: So now I’m alone
Nadia: Which means...
Nadia: *inhales*
Nadia: ACCORDING TO ALL KNOWN LAWS OF AVIATION THERE IS NO WAY A BEE SHOULD BE ABLE TO FLY. ITS WINGS ARE TOO SMALL TO GET ITS FAT LITTLE BODY OFF THE GROUND!!!
Ivy: See this is why you’re forever alone
Nadia: Whatever helps you sleep at night
Lucas: If I were a millionaire, I would buy millions of melons and become a melonaire
Matt:
Matt: How do you have friends?
Lucas: Because I’m a melonaire
Lucas: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Peter: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Ivy: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Nadia: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Matt: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Jason:
Jason: I have emotional scars.
Lucas: I mean it was all fun and games until I licked the power outlet
Matt: Walk me through the process that led up to that and then I'll decide whether you need to see a therapist
Nadia: I'm a moderate, peaceful person
Jason: You threw a chair at Ivy yesterday
Nadia: That is moderate and peaceful compared to the table I was going to throw at her
Lucas, angrily: ARE YOU-
Nadia: fucking.
Lucas: -KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Nadia: fucking.
Lucas: IDIOT-
Jason: …what was that?
Nadia: Matt banned Lucas from swearing, so I volunteered to help him out
Peter: I think you just like saying the f word.
Nadia: That doesn’t make my job any less important.
