#tantoun

When the baby starts crying, Lena thinks that she might join in. It's been one of those nights, which has transitioned into one of those mornings. Lucas has been cranky, colicky, Lena thinks, despite Eliza's protests, made with the assured off-handedness of a woman who's raised children and thinks she knows everything. Lena knows she should be grateful to have her at all, seeing as her own mother isn't exactly stepping up to the grandmother mantle, but sometimes Lena just wants to throw her out of the house and change the locks. This feeling is mostly because of the lack of sleep…she thinks.

There's a tiny, horrible part of her that waits, listening to Lucas cry and hoping that Eliza will get up from her bed in the guestroom and deal with it so Lena can stay in bed and put the pillow over her head and try to sleep. She hopes, even though she knows better, that Kara will pick this exact moment to show up and move seamlessly from saving National City to collecting her crying son and work some sort of magic on him so Lena can sleep.

But Lucas is crying and no one is coming and Lena gets up, pursing her lips to keep them from wobbling from the desire to join Lucas in his squalling. She flips on the nursey light and reaches for her son, cuddling him to her chest. He reaches out with a tiny fist, hitting the bottom of her chin and it feels a little bit like fighting the world's biggest, losing battle.

Lena whispers to him, pressing her nose to the top of his head, breathing in his warm, powdery, sweaty baby smell. He squirms in her arms, making it difficult for her to snuggle him to her chest. It's been only four months since she and Kara brought him home and Lena is starting to feel like every day is going to be harder than the last, especially given the fact that she hasn't slept in what feels like a year and she can't make her baby stop crying.

Hoping a change of scenery might do the trick, Lena carries Lucas out of his nursey and down the hall toward the bedroom. She doesn't hurry past Eliza's room, mostly out of spite, hoping the crying baby will cause someone else a little bit of discomfort.

Lena sits on the edge of the bed, settling Lucas in her lap. "Shh, it's okay baby," she coos around a yawn. "Let's just go back to sleep, huh? What do you say?"

The only thing Lucas has to say to that suggestion is more crying. Lena stands again, fighting exhaustion, pacing the length of the room and whispering platitudes to Lucas in an attempt to stop him from crying. The balcony doors are open a crack, letting in the warm night air and she figures this what people in National City feel when they're waiting desperately to see Supergirl come sweeping in for the rescue. Kara seems to have some sort of magical way with Lucas, talking to him in Kryptonian, getting him to go to sleep easier than anyone else has been able to. But she's busy, Lena understands this; she's saving the city, keeping it safe and whole, the type of place they want to raise their son in.

Lena always misses her wife when she's out all night. Sometimes she just misses her a little bit more.

Methodically, Lena moves through the steps of trying to calm Lucas down. She tries to feed him but to no avail. Singing? Her voice has never been great and clearly it doesn't meet infant's standards. He doesn't need to be changed but she dresses him in fresh pajamas and a clean diaper just in case. She cheeks him over for some sort of ailment, running her fingers carefully across his fat arms and legs, touching him almost reverently like she can't believe that he's hers. When the organization had finally called to tell her and Kara that they'd been matched with a baby, only a few days old, it had seemed like a dream, an impossible occurrence after all their waiting preparations. And then he was theirs, another body inhabiting their cozy penthouse for two. Or, really, four now, since Eliza has been hanging around, playing the role of the dutiful grandmother.

Lena steps out onto the balcony, settling them down in one of the deck chairs that she used to inhabit during evenings or early mornings when she was waiting for Kara to get back and she couldn't sleep. The air is fresh and warm and the faint breeze tickles her messy hair and Lucas' sweaty forehead. He allows Lena to cuddle him to her chest, consenting to rest his head against her clavicle and she rubs her hand up and down his back, listening to his soft, hiccupping breaths. At least he's not crying anymore; at least he's breathing evenly against her hand.

"Do you miss Mama?" Lena asks softly, letting her fingers card through his thin wisps of hair. "Is that it?" Lucas, of course, offers no reply. "Me too."

They fall asleep like that, out on the balcony of the penthouse apartment of one of the tallest buildings in National City. It had been difficult to convince Kara to give up her place and move in with Lena; it had been before they'd even gotten engaged, when Kara was still unsure of how her messy, frantic, frenzied self could fit in with the neat, orderly, ironed creases of Lena's life. She hadn't understood, even despite Lena's best efforts, that Lena hadn't wanted neat, orderly angles and sterile surfaces. She'd wanted a girl as bright as the sun and as messy as the paint-splotched palettes she left around her place. She'd wanted Kara to fill the empty spaces of her place, the corners left unused and bare. They'd moved in gradually, little by little, as though it was accidental. And one day all of Kara's clothes were jammed in her closet, her easel and half-finished canvases in the spare bedroom. Everything else had fallen into place after that: their engagement, marriage, their life fitting together in ordinary, organized pieces that made Lena eager to wake up every day. And now Lucas, expanding their puzzle and creating a whole new picture.

Lena doesn't wake until she hears the sound of bootheels clicking softly on the balcony floor and when she opens one eye, she jumps in surprise, thrown by her unfamiliar surroundings. She holds Lucas tighter and he stirs in her arms. The sun is coming up and she recognizes the figure in front of her and it's easier to relax, to remember the events of the night, when she sees Kara smile at her.

"I'm sorry," Kara says softly, kneeling in front of Lena. She rests one hand on Lucas' back, the other on Lena's thigh. "I wasn't trying to wake you. Are you okay?"

Obviously this question stems from the fact that both mother and child are sleeping on the balcony instead of in their comfortable, perfectly good beds. Kara looks concerned and sympathetic, her fingers absently tracing circles on Lena's bare skin below the hem of her shorts.

Lena leans forward and Lucas stirs again, discontented. But still, Lena presses her lips to Kara's, her mind less befuddled thanks to the few stolen hours of sleep. Kara takes her into her arms, hugging her gently, Lucas resting in between the two of them. Kara presses her nose against the curve of Lena's neck, a gesture that would normally make her giggle at the contact but this morning it just makes her sigh, her eyes fluttering closed.

"I'm sorry," Kara says again, her apology for a different reason now. "I didn't mean to be gone for so long."

"It's okay," Lena assures her. "National City needs you."

She manages to say this with a touch of affection and a distinct lack of sarcasm and jealousy, which feels like quite the feat given the fact that she's still tired and groggy and feeling a twinge of loneliness even though Kara is here with her right now.

Kara takes Lucas from her so that Lena can get to her feet. "Well, so do you guys," Kara points out as they walk back into the bedroom. "And trust me, I would rather be here then out there trying to catch an alien before he blows up the shipping yard. Again."

Lena crinkles her nose. "Now that you mention it, you do smell a little smoky." She's teasing because Kara smells like she always does: like sunshine and their shared shampoo and the traces of Lena's perfume that transfers from Lena's skin onto her own.

Kara pulls a face at her, a cross-eyed, furrowed brow expression that Lena is certain Lucas will start picking up when he's old enough. Which is something to look forward to since, you know, she needs two people around looking like fools. The thought and the sight before her just makes Lena smile.

"No, I don't," Kara assures her frankly. "Because I saved the day and put out the fire before it spread. So there."

Lena slips a hand around her neck, pulling her in for a kiss. "My hero."

Kara smiles against her lips. And Lucas chooses that moment to wake up and start his wailing all over again. It feels like her exhaustion levels triple in that second and Lena just looks at Kara wearily, certain that her wife can see the hopelessness in her eyes.

"It's okay," Kara says and Lena isn't sure if she's talking to her or the baby. She bounces Lucas in her arms, tickling him playfully under the chin. "I think he might be louder than the alien from earlier," she says to Lena.

Lena wouldn't doubt it. "Maybe you should take him with you, use him as a deterrent." The thought of it makes her stomach do flips, twisting itself into uncomfortable knots; thinking about Lucas out there fighting for National City feels even worse than thinking about Kara doing the same thing.

Lucas keeps up his crying, waving his fists as Kara passes him back to Lena so she can change out of her suit. Lena tries to soothe Lucas, stroking his head, watching as Kara sheds the blue and red fabric, exposing her smooth skin beneath. She doesn't look any less desirable when she's wearing a baggy pair of sweat pants and an L Corp tank top, her hair tousled. Watching her with Lucas -their son- only makes Lena want her even more.

They get back into bed: Lena laying down beside Kara while Kara leans against the headboard with her knees up, keeping Lucas cradled against her legs. Lena rests her head against the crook of Kara's elbow, reaching up to brush her fingers against Lucas' tiny fist. He stops crying only long enough to wrap his fingers around one of hers before resuming his crying.

Kara starts singing to him in Kryptonian and Lena feels a small thrill of validation in the fact that it takes Kara several minutes to calm Lucas down enough to get him back to sleep. Clearly she's not the baby whisperer after all.

Lucas' grip on Lena's finger starts to relax and she misses the pressure of it. "This is what I've always wanted, you know," she says quietly to Kara.

Kara looks down at her. "A crying baby and an alien wife?"

Lena smirks. "A family," she corrects even though she knows Kara was only teasing. "Someone who knew me and loved me anyway."

Kara presses a kiss to the top of Lena's head. "There's so much to love about you, Lena," she assures her. "You're a good, strong, caring person. I hope Lucas takes after you."

In the years that she's spent with Kara, it's become easier for her words to settle in her mind without her wanting to shake them off and argue that they have any connection with her. It used to be hard for her to see the person that Kara was talking about when she said things like that, now it's easier for her to will herself to be content in the words and the fact that Kara believes them. It helps Lena believe them too.

"I wouldn't want to do this with anyone but you," Lena tells Kara, rubbing her thumbs across the top of Lucas' hand, his fingers still loose around her own.

Kara smiles at her brightly. "We're a team," she assures Lena. "And I love you."

Lena sits up straighter so that she can kiss Kara better resting her head against Kara's shoulder. They fall asleep together, Lucas settled there between them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There's a knock on the bedroom door and Lena opens her eyes to see Kara, still propped against the headboard, mouth slightly open as she snores softly, hair messy and falling askew down her shoulders. Lucas is still sleeping curled in the safety of Kara's legs and she finally feels like the edge has been taken off her exhaustion. She feels, while not exactly renewed, at least newly able to tackle whatever might be waiting next for them.

Another knock. "Kara?" It's Eliza, her voice soft but insistent, like her knocking. "Lena? Maggie and Alex are here; they brought lunch."

Lunch? Lena sits up, blinking away the last vestiges of sleep. She peers past Kara, looking at the clock; it's past noon and she'd be more embarrassed if she didn't feel so rested.

Carefully, Lena reaches forward to collect Lucas. She's honestly surprised that his cranky behavior and his need for formula haven't woken him up by now. Kara reacts immediately, sitting upright, reaching for the baby even before she's completely come awake. "Wait-"

"It's okay," Lena assures her quickly, cradling Lucas against her as he starts to come awake. "It's okay, it's just me."

Kara offers her a sleepy smile and it's impossible for Lena to resist leaning forward, pressing a kiss against her cheek. "Hi," Kara says around her smile.

"Hi," Lena says in response as she slips out of bed. "Your sister is here." Kara starts to utter a drowsy sound of complaint so Lena is quick to add, "She brought food."

Kara perks up quickly. "Chinese?" She says hopefully, all but hopping out of bed. "Pizza?" She pauses, considering. "Both?"

Lena laughs, shaking her head. "I'm not sure whose appetite is worse: yours or his."

Lucas has come feeling awake now, his face scrunching up in his pre-crying expression. With a little bit of luck they'll be able to head him off, putting together a bottle and keeping him happy before the waterworks start.

"I'll make him a bottle," Kara offers, coming around the side of the bed to take the baby. "Come out when you're ready."

Lena's stomach picks that exact moment to growl and Kara laughs and Lena is pretty sure there's no fighting the grin that stretches across her face. The bedroom is warm from the sun and her everything else is warm from Kara and the little boy in her arms and Lena isn't sure there's ever going to be a reason for her to stop smiling, not in the foreseeable future. Not when she has all of this.

Despite her impatient stomach, Lena still takes a quick shower, brushing her teeth as she runs a comb through her damp, dark hair. She doesn't exactly dress up but since Eliza's been hanging around and they have Maggie and Alex to attend to she skips the usual gym clothes for a pair of jeans and an old concert tee.

Eliza is holding Lucas, cooing to him as she gives him his bottle. Kara is already happily digging into a pizza and Lena sees that Alex has wisely brought a few boxes. There's no Chinese but Kara doesn't seem to notice. Maggie smiles brightly when Lena walks in and sometimes Lena thinks it's always going to be the two of them, a united front, the interlopers who managed to cozy up to the Danvers Sisters.

Alex is giving Kara a hard time about something, undoubtedly the fact that she's trying to control the melting cheese oozing off one piece of pizza while she's reaching for another. Alex sees her and smiles. "Hey." She nods. "It's about time you got out of here; don't you know better than to leave Kara alone with food?"

"Wha?" Kara questions around a mouthful of pizza. "I was savin' 'er some."

At the moment, this proclamation looks dubious.

"I can't believe you used to sleep in this thing."

"Hold up, I know you aren't insulting my van."

Jemma pulls an innocent face, though she doubts Daisy is very convinced. "I'm sure I'm not the first," she says sweetly.

Daisy glares at her, the expression mostly for show. Mostly. "You act like it's some cramped, horrible space," she says, sounding a little bit offended. "I used to run a whole Rising Tide operation out of this thing."

"Yes, very good darling," Jemma says in the placating way one might use to praise a child who has drawn something undecipherable. "You know they have apartments for that sort of thing now."

Daisy only shrugs, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the back of the driver's seat. "Fine. Don't appreciate the awesomeness that is my van," she says dismissively. "And don't appreciate the fact that you're the first person ever I've allowed to sit in it. Just go. My van and I will be fine without you."

Daisy figures that's a pretty big lie in the history of big lies; she's surprised she isn't struck dead by lightning just for uttering it.

Jemma's face softens and she makes her way across the small space toward Daisy, kissing her cheek in hopes that the gesture will endear Daisy to her. "Your van is very nice," she assures Daisy. "Cozy."

It's not quite the home that it was before Daisy joined SHIELD. There are still blankets spread out across the floor, a large pillow tossed carelessly into one corner but she knows that Daisy has spent most of her time in the van in the driver's seat this time around. She remembers the first time she saw the van, when SHIELD had taken it into official safe-keeping when it seemed like Daisy was going to be sticking around for a little while. She'd still been Skye then and bright-eyed and excited, her body made for doing her fighting from the computer and her skin unblemished by scar tissue and bruises. She'd insisted on giving Jemma the 'tour' which consisted of the two of them standing by the open door while Daisy had excitedly pointed out files stuck to the wall and the hula girl ornament on her dashboard. Jemma hadn't known her well enough then to realize that she was sharing something private and personal with her with excitement rather than solemnity.

And now here they are again, coming full circle apparently. This time inside the van rather than outside, the hula girl still shimmying away on the dashboard while Daisy puts her arms around Jemma. The first time she'd seen the van, Jemma had had no idea that there would come a day when she'd be desperate for Daisy's touch, afraid to tell her how badly she wanted to be in her arms. That there would be a day when she'd whisper declarations of love in the darkness of a too-small SHIELD issue bunk. She didn't know that a day would come when she'd have to say goodbye to Daisy, that she really hasn't ever stopped saying it since that first time, that their time together would be spent more like this: in stolen snatches of time, making use of whatever chance they could find to be alone and together.

Jemma settles herself against Daisy's side, their knees touching as Daisy puts an arm around her shoulder. "It makes me a little…sad I suppose," Jemma admits, surprised by her sudden confession. She hadn't even realized it was true until the words had left her mouth.

Daisy looks equally surprised. "Sad? Why?"

A shrug. "I guess…thinking about you living here," Jemma admits softly. "That this was your home…"

"It wasn't so bad," Daisy assures her with a smile, reaching up to tuck a lock of tousled hair behind Jemma's ear. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I liked living on the Bus or the base better but," she shrugs, "it could have been worse."

Jemma doesn't ask her to elaborate, certain that she's heard some of those stories already, back when Daisy was still Skye and would only talk about her time in the system when it was dark and she could feel Jemma holding onto her but didn't have to see her face. She only told each story once, just enough to give it to Jemma to help her carry its weight.

"You could always come back to base," Jemma says casually, leaning against Daisy's shoulder. "It's too lonely without you."

Daisy smiles and Jemma loves the way the simple gesture brightens her whole face. "You could move in here," she counters. "We could make it all homey. Hang up some curtains, a few pictures of the team." She arches an eyebrow. "Home sweet home."

Jemma rolls her eyes. "It might be a little small for two."

"Nah." Daisy waves a dismissive hand. "We could make it work. We could have the most epic road trip of all time in this thing."

Ruining from Director Mace and SHIELD agents doesn't exactly sound like an epic road trip to Jemma but she doesn't point that out. She just lets herself indulge in the idea of having a normal road trip with the not exactly normal person that she loves. Even though it's not in the cards for the time being, it still feels nice to hold onto the idea, to tuck herself against Daisy's side, to feel butterflies in her stomach at the sight of her smile.

"So," Jemma says, taking the lapel of Daisy's jacket in one hand and tugging her closer, "am I really the first person you let into you van?"

Daisy's cheeks get rosy with spots of color and she nods. "Maybe…"

Jemma pulls her in for a kiss and she can taste Daisy's smile against her lips.

"You know," Daisy says, "I think I like my van a lot more with you in it."