#takebackklance

"Keith," he finally said. Keith jumped, finally looking at Lance. "Keith, what the quiznack happened out there?"

Keith held Lance's stare. "What I had to do."

"So killing yourself?" Lance's voice raised. "How is THAT going to help anyone!?"

"We HAD to take that shield down Lance! What was I supposed to do, sit there and watch everyone blow up!?"

"I sure didn't want you to die for it!"

"Voltron and the rebels are more important than one life, Lance!"

Lance was taken aback. Where the heck did Keith learn this mindset?

"Keith," he said, "What is going on with you?"

"Nothing is going with me."

"Ke-"

"I get it okay? I was stupid and reckless and I shouldn't have done it. If I wanted to get lectured, I would've went to Shiro."

"Well too bad tough guy, cause I'm not done. You're staying right here, and you're answering my questions."

Keith glared back at him. "No."

"No!?"

"I'm a big boy, I don’t need to answer your questions, mom."

(Lance missed this, bickering with Keith till they were both pissed off and annoyed and they left each other alone. But this time, he couldn't storm off, or Keith will and...and...get himself killed..)  

"This is your life Keith! You could've died!" Lance shouted, "You would've died! If it wasn't for Mr. Luscious Hair, we-...we..." His throat tightened. "I could've lost you."

Keith's eyes widened (was it..was it from the I? Lance cursed himself), before looking down. "I'm...I'm sorry Lance. I won't do it again."

(Lie.)

"Okay."

Keith made a move to leave.

"Come back." A whisper, not meant to heard.

Keith jolted, stopping in place. He turned back to Lance. "What?"

"I..." Lance made his voice clearer, louder, "Come back. To us, to Voltron."

Keith sighed. "Lance...I can't. The Blade needs me-"

"We need you."

"Lance-"

"No, explain this to me. There are hundreds of them-"

"Thousands, actually."

"Exactly Keith! There's so many of them, you're not needed there!"

"I'm not needed here either," Keith retorted.

"What're you-"

"There are 5 lions, you need 5 paladins. No more, no less. I have no reason to be here, Lance, other than to say hello. I'm useless here."

"You're not-" A horrible thought came the pilot. "It's me isn't it?"

"Is what you?"

"I'm the reason you left."

Lance seemed to hit the nail on the head, because Keith's eyes turned into saucer plates as he sputtered. "W-what! No! No no no! That's not it at all!"

"Don’t lie to me Keith."

"I'm not-"

"You are," Lance interrupted. The pieces were finally starting to come together. "I came to you, to talk about my insecurities. Once I did that, you started to distance yourself." Keith looked panicked, almost pained, but Lance kept going, "You haven't even touched Red since Shiro came back. I didn't get it at first. I thought it was because of the Blade."

"It was," Keith spoke up, "..in part."

"Yeah, I get now," Lance said, "But I don’t get why. Surely you don’t care about my feelings that much."

Keith seemed offended by that remark. "I've always cared about your feelings."

Ignoring the heat rising up in his cheeks, Lance responded, "I appreciate it, but when comes to war, my emotions about driving a war ship should be last in your mind."

"And yet, you want me to come back."

"Of course! I-you're a better pilot than me." (I miss you)

Keith shook his head. "Lance no. You're way better than me. I mean, Red called to you, I had to get thrown out into space in order for him to let me in."

"That doesn’t make your worth any less, You're my friend, Keith. I-we want you back."

"I can't Lance."

"Why?"

"I just-can't."

"Why!?"

"I. Can't."

"I want an answer Mullet."

"Yeah? Well too bad. Cause I don't have to." Keith pulled up his hood.  

Lance grabbed him. "So what? I can tell you my insecurities, but you can't even be bothered to tell me what you got up your butt?"

"Why can't you drop it!?"

"BECAUSE I ALMOST LOST YOU!" Lance shouted. He could feel tears well up in eyes. He quickly blinked them away (nuh-huh. There was no way he gonna cry in front of Keith. His pride wouldn't allow it). And as Keith gaped back at him, Lance realized what he just said. "I mean...um.. We almost lost you, yeah. We. Us. Voltron."

"Lance..." Keith closed his mouth. Then opened. Closed. Open. Close.

Lance let go of Keith's wrist. Wiped his sweaty palms before remembering he was still in his armor.  

"Well...um.." Lance fumbled for words (Keith certainly wasn't helping with that, still opening and closing his mouth like a freaking guppy).

How was this the moment that stunned them both into silence? How did Lance slip that I in a second time? Why can't he think of anything to say? Why was his face all warm again? When did Keith's face get so red?

"Lance? Keith?" Hunk. That was Hunk. Which meant his time was up.

Hunk popped into the room. "What are you guys doing in here? You've been gone a whole varga!" He turned to Keith. "Kolivan needs you, dude."

"Oh! Um." Keith glanced between Lance and Hunk before making a move to the door. "Thanks Hunk." Keith put his hand on the doorway. He stopped. "Hey...Lance?"

Lance swallowed. "Yeah?"

"I'll um..." Keith rubbed his thumb against the side of his pointer. "I'll see you soon."

"Yeah. Okay. Sure."

Keith nodded, heading out while the door closes behind him.

Once Keith was gone, Hunk turned to Lance. "Dude, what's with you and Keith?"

"It's nothing Hunk. Keith just can't handle my greatness," Lance said, attempting to save face. It seemed to have worked, since Hunk backed off and escorted him out of the random castle room.

     Shiro had laughed-- laughed!-- at the face Keith had made upon the announcement, his childhood friend giving him nothing more than a pat on the shoulder and a murmured ‘good luck’ before he went, tacking on his monthly reminder of patience and focus as he saw him out. He had fully expected the night to be hell, had braced himself for the headache to ensue, or the fight to erupt the moment he would be left alone with his 'rival’ (self-proclaimed, really). No doubt would Lance want to make this out to be a competition, rather than an exercise of teamwork in surviving the night.

     He swore they would fail this initiation, leaving Keith to beg and plead for another chance, that, or plead with other fraternities to let him in, and Keith was no beggar. He’d rather remain isolated than do so, regardless of what Shiro had told him about benefits and having others watch your back, and teamwork and-- he was getting off track.

     Point being, he had never expected... well... this.

     “It’s only one night, we’ll just share the bed.”

     It was that simple, condemning statement, that had led him to this very moment. Not to say this ‘moment’ was bad-- far from it, actually-- simply that it had been something a bit... unexpected to occur. A good sort of unexpected, and it was a correlation he had thought he would never make within the presence of one simple boy from Cuba who never seemed to shut up.

     Lance’s ramblings, however, worked surprisingly well for the hour that it was (ungodly, as some would put it), and Keith found himself even partaking in the conversation, contributing to human socialization as he didn’t regularly do with many others. The situation must have really spooked the guy, Keith reasoned, recalling just how superstitious the other was. Maybe he thought the building was haunted?

     The wind caused the windows to creak, and harshly did the brunet beside him stiffen in fear.

     “Hey...” He began softly, taking hold of the other’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. It had always worked on him when he needed to be grounded, so he only hoped it would work for Lance as well. “It’s just the wind. You know the place has only been empty for like... two years, right?” A pause, allowing the silence to fill a bit more space between them before continuing. “... because of a leak?”

     Not exactly the most terrifying conditions to abandon a building, really.

     “I--! ... I-I know that! I just!!” The brunet began, leaping at his own defense as he usually did, but not quite able to follow through to the end. Lips pressed into a thin line, the lights from the outside school yard easily illuminating the old nurse’s office. “... It’s just scary, okay?” Came the eventual admission as he shifted to lay on his side, facing Keith fully as he huddled a bit defensively. “I’m not... I’m not as brave like you, man...”

     Now that, Keith could add to pile of ‘unexpected events’, dark brows shooting high in surprise.

     “... Brave?” He murmured in confusion, facing his companion in a mimic of his posture. “Like... me?”

     “Yeah!” Lance returned with sudden vigor, fire igniting his eyes. “You’re always so brave and act so tough! Everything you do is just so easy to you, you don’t even break a sweat! How do you do it?! This place is scary as hell, and you’re just so casual about it! Are you even human?” It was then that his voice quieted, head bowing low whilst his knees rose closer to his chest, curling into himself but not letting go of Keith’s hand just yet. “... How are you so cool without even trying?”

     He remained quiet for a moment, unable to produce a suitable answer to Lance’s sudden outburst-- The silent confession of admiration he held for his supposed ‘enemy’ that he swore he had throughout high school. Had it all just been a facade? A lie he had conjured to tell himself he needed to fight to become better? A projection of the self the drove him to become something more than he already was?

     It seemed the only thing Lance had accomplished all this time, was avoiding the opportunity to make a new friend.

     “I’m not... cool.” Keith mumbled awkwardly in response, pressing his cheek further into the cheap cotton pillow. “But uh... thanks for that.” He pressed on, giving their conjoined hands a slight wave in unison. “You’re cool too, you know. In your own way... You don’t... have to be someone else’s cool to be cool... y’know?” Was he even making sense at this point?

     Lance’s brightening gaze told him what he needed to know.

     “Yeah... I guess you’re right.” The brunet murmured in return, a smile growing on his lips. “Thanks Keith... this is... actually kinda fun-- Like a sleepover!”

     “I don’t know what kind of sleepovers you’ve had, but... yeah, sure, I guess.”

     One thing Keith had always admired from the other, was how easily he tended to look on the bright side of things.