#tagyourbrotp

Person A: *singing* if you’re tired and you know it clap your hands

*silence*

Person A: welp i guess no one’s tired

Person A: jesus, there’s blonde hair all over my shirt

Person B: well what blonde’s have you been around recently

Person A: . . .

Person A: *driving* NONE OF THESE TRUCKS KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING

Person A: *walks in* what the fuck are you doing

Person B: *playing with food* a dramatic reenactment of the Titanic with 2 bagels, cream cheese, and the entirety of Japan. It’s really just a pan but I said pan wrong too many times so now it’s Japan

Person A: B has a very distinct fart, you know it when you smell it

Person B: okay it's not that bad

*30 minutes later*

Person C: what's that smell?

Person A: B farted

Person A: you have a raccoon tan

Person B: i know, C requested it. they were like, ‘i want you to leave your sunglasses on and not wear sunscreen on your face all day,’ and i said ‘alright anything for you.’

Person A: are you filming me?

Person B: you need to atone for your sins

Person A: *looks into camera* no

Person B: but-

Person A: so my entire family calls me that stupid nickname now

Person B: the prophecy has been fulfilled. The stars are in position . . . bring the tribute.

Person A: I . . . read ‘tribute is in position. Bring the stars.’

Person B: *wheezing with laughter* why is that so funny to me