#systemsred

there were casualties, goose. that's all he's told. and so for the hours it takes for the planes to land, for those who had shipped out to return to solid ground, nick thinks of the word. casualty: wounded, missing, dead. and for all of the innovation that has graced the united states navy in the years since his own service, no one had thought of a better way to describe three very different scenarios.

he doesn't know what to expect when the others start to file into the hangar, but goose knows his boys well enough to know that if he's lost one, then he's lost the other. it's all or nothing - for all of the bad blood spilled between mav and bradley over the years, they would never let each other go without a fight.

and so, when his eyes settle on pete with bradley right behind him, nick feels his entire chest cave in with sheer relief. the hollow feeling he'd been left with immediately begins to fill, as do his eyes, as pete crosses the hangar to meet him. " jesus fucking christ, man - they said there were casualties, are you hurt? is bradley hurt?"

"...Those are, I believe, the words of someone with far too much experience of such things." She murmurs, watching him with a tired but understanding gaze. "Please do not think I don't appreciate your advice, but... Would you not also agree that sometimes, we already know what our feelings will result in, should we let ourselves feel them?"

"so how are you finding it here?" she hasn't left running and screaming yet. emma had even made it back after after what would be thought to be one of the first worst shifts someone could have here even by their normal standards. it hadn't taken dana long to work out that she was tough, but there's still plenty that could happen which could have her running for the hills.

@systemsred: you're a bad person! … from adam… perhaps

It was almost comical: how simplistic that declaration was, the word choice. Lawrence would have laughed — warm and fond in exasperation — if his own guilty conscious didn't weigh on him so heavily that it crushed any residual humor over Adam's delivery.

Instead, his expression shifted into something stoic, something weary while his thoughts pivoted to fixate on how animated the younger man could be at times. It was a subconscious tactic to keep himself from ruminating on his own guilt. It was automatic. Habitual. Lawrence didn't even realize he was doing it, lost in his thoughts.

It was as if Adam's mouth had a 15 second delay on his brain. It was completely baffling to Lawrence how he could operate that way. Lawrence was always so careful, calculated. But Adam was so expressive, almost recklessly so. Impulsive. Fervent.

Admirable.

Lawrence's hand scrubbed down his face. He held it there for a moment before letting his hand fall away and sardonically answering, "Yes, I'm well aware that I won't be winning any humanitarian awards any time soon. Thank you."

@systemsred: you should've seized the moment. from schenk !!

Lawrence groaned; eyes rolling and almost theatric in the blatant expression of his lack of patience for the nonsense spewing from the younger man's mouth. He hated the copycats. So had John Kramer. He knew that to be true. If it weren’t for the copycats, Lawrence might have finally known peace again. But no. Inevitably, one cropped up every few years or so. And if the authorities didn’t handle it fast enough — and when did they ever? — Lawrence felt compelled to intervene.

"Seized the moment?" Lawrence repeated gruffly with a tired shake of his head. When the dust had settled and he'd been the last one left standing, he hadn't gone on to create more games, more tests. That had never been his part. He'd come to respect John's work, but it had never been Lawrence's to continue or mold into something to use to push his own agendas. He'd assisted when his skills were called upon, even carried out John's posthumous wishes. But once that was done with, it was done. Except when someone decided to play copycat and forced his hand. Then he had to make use of the sketches and schematics of John's unused ideas for future traps that he'd inherited.

"I'm afraid you're missing the true point here..."

It was in poor taste, using John Kramer's legacy as an excuse for revenge, as some justification for William Schenk executing his own punishment over personal grievances that had nothing to do with John's philosophy. An act of protest against systematic corruption — noble enough that Lawrence might have respected it if it weren't for Schenk's decision to invoke, cheaply, the Jigsaw Killer.

It was an insult. Degradation.

"But you'll learn." Lawrence paused to let the words hang in the air for a tense moment, "Or you won't. Either way, your test starts now."