Dr. Lawrence Gordon

you really don't hear yourself when you talk, do you?

i don't know who you think you are, but it's not impressive.

you love playing the victim when it's convenient.

don't look at me like that. you made this choice.

you always say that, and it's never true.

i'm tired of pretending you don't know exactly what you're doing.

funny how it's always someone else's fault.

you don't get credit for almost doing the right thing.

i trusted you, and that was my mistake.

you don't listen, you just wait for your turn to talk.

say it again, slower this time, maybe you'll hear how stupid it sounds.

you don't get to rewrite what happened just because it hurts.

you're not misunderstood, you're just wrong.

i don't owe you patience.

you love control more than you love honesty.

stop acting so surprised, this was always coming.

you really think that excuses what you did?

you don't get to be angry about consequences.

i expected better from you, and that's on me.

you're exhausting, and it's not charming anymore.

every apology you give sounds rehearsed.

you only care when it affects you.

you don't actually want the truth, you want validation.

don't pretend this is about concern.

you cross lines and call it curiosity.

you never ask how i feel, you just assume.

you're cruel when you're cornered.

i see right through the act.

you confuse confidence with arrogance.

you just don't know when to stop.

you keep pushing until something breaks.

you don't get to play innocent here.

you really thought i wouldn't notice?

you always need an audience.

i don't recognize you when you're like this.

you're not brave, you're reckless.

you say you're honest, but you're just mean.

you enjoy this more than you admit.

don't flatter yourself, i stopped believing you a long time ago.

you don't fight fair, you fight to win.

you're not protecting yourself, you're attacking me.

you keep confusing silence for forgiveness.

why do you make everything a competition?

you don't get to decide what hurts me.

you act like being hurt gives you permission.

you only hear what supports your narrative.

you don't respect boundaries, you tolerate them.

you always push until i snap.

is this the part where i'm supposed to feel sorry for you?

you keep calling it honesty like that makes it noble.

you enjoy being cruel when you think you're justified.

you've been waiting to say that, haven't you?

i know you always choose pride over people.

you don't know how to back down.

you don't listen when the answer isn't what you want.

you treat everyone like they're disposable.

after what you did, you don't get to talk about loyalty.

you always take more than you give.

you never stop to think who gets hurt.

you only care when you're exposed.

you don't know how to sit with discomfort.

you poke until something bleeds.

you love being right more than being kind.

you don't know when enough is enough.

you keep digging and wonder why you're alone.

you don't see people, you see leverage.

no, you don't get to speak for me.

you twist everything until it suits you.

you don't actually care about the truth.

you always need the last word.

you don't know how to be gentle.

you don't care who you hurt if it proves a point.

stop calling it honesty like it absolves you of anything.

you don't know how to lose gracefully.

you don't fight fair, you fight dirty.

you make everything personal.

you don't know how to let things go.

the truth is, you just enjoy tearing people down.

you don't care how this affects anyone else.

how convenient, you only show empathy when it benefits you.

you don't see how far you've crossed the line.

you always think you're justified.

you don't know how to stop hurting people.

don't act like you actually want answers.

you always think you're the smartest one in the room.

you care about winning.

@hacksawcd asked: i'm just trying to keep an open mind.

sienna takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly to calm her screaming nerves. her shaking hands clutch at the hem of her sweater, fiddling with it, as she tries to keep the tremble out of her voice. why did she agree to spend time with a man that she barely knows? sure, they'd both gone through intense trauma at the hands of another, but their situations were completely different. still, she did appreciate some sort of solidarity after everything.

Lawrence gives a huff of a humorless laugh, "People do so love to cast blame and suspicion." He murmurs in understanding. The irony in his case was that back when he'd been an official suspect in the Jigsaw murders case, he hadn't actually been involved. And now…well. Now, Lawrence didn't suffer looks of mistrust so much as pitying glances. And he'd gotten so used to the weight of those that Lawrence didn't even notice half the time when someone cast a self-indulgent look of commiseration his way.

"People will go to great lengths to convince themselves that horrors won't touch them. If they're good or boring enough, they're safe. Ergo, victims of violence, or disease, or tragedy must have done something wrong." He grimaces, "You see it all the time in my line of work. The good news is that it seems like a primal part of how we're wired. I wouldn't take it personally. The bad news? I don't think the tiredness ever lets up. Or if it does, I sure haven't gotten there yet."

It was clumsy work, just getting to his own feet. Well. Foot. He took Adam's hand, but refused to put any weight behind that hold as he stood. "Yes, we are." Lawrence confirmed in that sure voice of his even as adrenaline hammered inside his chest with the devastating guilt of how close that statement had come to being untrue. Once he had the crutch beneath his arm again, Lawrence was considerably more stable. The duffle bag being slung over the shoulder dealing with the crutch was annoying but not overly cumbersome. He let go of Adam's hand in favor of twining his free arm around the younger man's torso to help steady him more efficiently. "I do. Yes." He answered, feeling another niggling tug of remorse for being able to so confidently declare he did know the way out of this wretched place. Lawrence pushed the guilt away for the time being in favor of getting them the hell out of there; slow, but progressing. Skirting along the edges of the broken tiled bathroom, moving in the opposite direction of the stained pink streaks on the cement floor outside the bathroom that Lawrence had left behind in the midst of his delirious ‘escape’ only a few days ago.

THERE'S   A   CLEAR   SNEER   ON   HIS   FACE   BEFORE   HE   ROLLS   HIS   EYES.         ❝ I've   been   lectured   so   many   fuckin'   times   it   feels   and   it   clearly   doesn't   fuckin'   stick.   ❞     stubborn.   he's   so   very   fucking   stubborn.   he   slammed   last   tool   down   on   the   table   a   little   too   hard.   causing   pain   to   surge   through   his   hand   and   partially   up   his   arm.   other   hand   coming   to   rub   that   one.   the   repercussion   of   escaping   his   “game”.   practically   destroying   his   hands   to   escape   his   confines   to   rip   muzzle-like   trap   off   of   his   face.   the   pain   within   his   hands   still   prominent   even   after   all   the   time   of   his   recovery.

"And yet lectured you will be again…" Lawrence murmured more to himself than the other man, pen moving across paper to jot down a snippet of anatomical insight. It was remarkable; the patience John had. John Kramer repeated himself over and over, trying to teach the same lesson, as if the repetition would somehow cause a different result some day. Strange how that patience was extended to some while others where allowed to eviscerate themselves and then immediately written off and forgotten when they didn't quite hit their mark…The nuance still tripped Lawrence up.

"What I'm doing is going over blueprints to provide medical input for what is and is not feasible." He explained unnecessarily, "You were called in because he thinks you should be here. Why? I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. All I know, is you were late."

𝕴 𝖆𝖒 𝖓𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖓𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖑, 𝖘𝖎𝖒𝖕𝖑𝖞 𝕴 𝖆𝖒

𝔡𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔩𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔠𝔨 - highly selective && low activity jennifer check of jennifer's body primarily focusing on human verse. a deep dive into the world of skin that sheds from porcelain to ivory to steel, a final girl doomed by the narrative, && the life + times of a living dead girl. 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕕𝕠𝕧𝕖, 𝕕𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕒𝕥 dearly loved by kg ✧ she/her ✧ 21+

𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕕 𝕕𝕠𝕧𝕖, 𝕕𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕒𝕥

Hey, come down.

I have to work this Sunday. I am sorry.

It's going to be like this for a while.

A favor? You should rest on Sundays!

Are you okay with it?

What if I get laid off for saying "No" to my boss?

I know but… you're going to get paid though?

They didn't mention extra pay? Why not? Why wouldn't they bring it up?

It's not like you're going to work for a couple more hours!

I think that's fair, isn't it?

Come on. Why wouldn't you think about that?

You tell them that you should get compensated properly for working extra hours on Sundays.

Don't answer just for the sake of it. Seriously.

I told you not to wait for me here.

Go wash yourself. I am making breakfast.

Don't get your clothes dirty, jeez.

The reality shouldn't be like that. Don't you think?

Wouldn't it be nice if men did a little more?

I just want to have a cold beer.

Did you see that?

When they look at each other, there is no emotion.

How can you judge them, just by looking at them once?

Anything can happen when you have a kid.

You can't say that there is no love between them.

How can you stare at each other's eyes with love and affection all the time?

It'd be really exhausting, wouldn't it?

They must love one another in their own way, maybe it's a different form of love/

Do you always gaze at me intensely?

Let's see how it tastes. How is it?

I made it less spicy for you.

Sometimes I have to drink socially, but I know my limits.

It will happen when it's meant to be.

They say that it costs a lot to raise a kid.

We will have a baby when we save some more money.

I'm already not that young anymore.

Are you even interested?

I didn't say that that's what I want.

It's just I need to consider a lot of things.

Things are different now. That's an old story.

Are you staying for dinner? Why don't you stay for some barbeque?

Maybe it's silly of me to say this. But I didn't think you guys would end up like this.

The "best marriage manual"?

Things might have been different, if that kind of thing was the issue.

If anything, I should've gone out and fought with them.

I thought to myself I can't do it any more.

I thought about it a lot, why, what happened to us.

Looking back now, it was as if, we just stopped loving each other.

For those 10 years, you must've gone through all sorts of things.

You know, dating and marriage are two different things.

The kind of issues that come up during a marriage are just different from the ones while dating.

Growing up, I didn't talk with them very much.

I should treat them better before it's too late.

It's not easy as it sounds. It's hard to do.

Sometimes I feel sad looking at myself.

I'm probably being selfish right now.

I'm not sure if that's the way I want to live yet.

I think that idea itself is wrong.

We should have a baby when we're ready to sacrifice our freedom for our baby.

If we think something was taken away from us, we will expect a lot from the baby as a reward.

Had I known I wouldn't get paid for it, I would've said no.

What the hell do you think you are doing?

Get your hands off of me. Give me my money!

What the… Why are you here?

Did you prepare all this?

What? Where is my bike? Didn't I park it here?

What are you talking about?

Have I not made you enough food or something?

What would they have thought of me?

Why did you butt in and say do this and don't do this?

Am I that stupid not to figure out what's going on?

You don't understand what you are saying!

Are you an idiot? What's the matter with you?

That's what you think.

You are overreacting.

You know how embarrassed I was?

Why are you making me say that again and again?

You are being really weird.

How did you know I would be here?

I think it's meant to be yours.

What are you doing here?

You yelled at me about something.

@hacksawcd 𝒉𝒂𝒔   𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅   𝒕𝒉𝒆   𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈   ―   “don’t   be   foolish.”

❝ I   DON'T   WANT   YOU   FUCKIN'   TOUCHIN'   ME.   ❞           a   wounded   dog,   ready   to   bite.   all   teeth.   even   though   there   was   blood   pouring   from   the   torn   skin   around   his   mouth.   even   though   his   hands   were   mangled.   he   didn't   trust   this   man.   didn't   want   him   near.   he   had   no   idea   where   he   was.   he   only   knew   that   he   wasn't   home   and   this   man   was   a   stranger,   a   potential   threat.   being   wounded   and   in   pain   didn't   deter   his   instinct   to   fight.

Lawrence held his hands up placatingly, exhaling a deep breath through his nose in an audible huff as he held tight to his own patience. As tempting as it was to snap back, there was no sense in it and that was the last thing someone usually needed to face after coming out the other side of a game. Test? Neither word sat completely right.

"Fine then. That is your choice." Lawrence conceded instead of pushing further, but it would have been irresponsible of him not to go on to add, "But the longer you go without getting that tended to," He gestured to the man's hands with a nod of his head, "The more severe the amount of permanent damage there will be."

ASKBOX PALOOZA !

The words INSTANTLY put a devilish smile on her lips, the kind that just feeds into her ever present ego. With the sway of her hips and the click of her heels, Jennifer makes her way across the room with little hesitation. It's almost as though she's walking down a runway, putting on a show even though there's very few people left in the bar they were in now. Instead, she moves into the side of the booth with him, body shifting to sit on his lap with her face still looking towards his.

"Oh, I rather doubt that." Lawrence counters the pouty accusation conversationally, not at all buying that he'd even put a scratch on the young woman's pride with his off-handed remark — especially when that smile she'd first given had suggested the opposite. He gives a half-frown as she fiddles with his collar, eyebrows pinching together, "And I shudder to think what your 'best behavior' entails." Lawrence comments and it isn't meant as a mean-spirited dig at her expense, just banter. "But this is serious."

@hacksawcd 𝒉𝒂𝒔   𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅   𝒕𝒉𝒆   𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈   ―   “you’re   late.”

Lawrence glanced over and made a sound in the back of his throat that could have been anything: judgment, understanding, annoyance…maybe all were applicable. It was times like this that made him feel like John saw his so-called apprentices less as protégés and more as participants in long-term games that needed close monitoring. Tested over and over whether they realized it or not. It was not a comforting thought.

"Careful now," Lawrence urged distractedly, focused more on the mock-up sketches he was analyzing than Caleb's bluster. "Talk like that will get you a lecture about 'choice'."

Lawrence blinked out of his thoughts, eyes snapping to Adam's face at that first brush of his fingers. His gaze bounced back and forth across Adam's features, assessing. "There you are." Lawrence greeted, voice twinged with warm relief even as he tried his best to remain steady and composed because that's what he believed was needed. A half-smile tugged tentatively at one corner of his mouth as his hand covered Adam's to give his hand a gentle squeeze, barely any pressure at all but undeniably an acknowledgement, comforting gesture, relief that Adam was improving given physical form. When Adam mentioned moving, Lawrence could have insisted the younger man drink some of the water he'd brought, take the glucose tablets first…he probably should have. But Lawrence knew better than most now that the mind and adrenaline mattered more in these situations than the practical breakdowns of how anatomy ought to function on paper. Working up to all of that would take even more time and if Adam thought he could move now, they'd be foolish not to try.