#system awareness

disclaimer i am a system, so no one freak out on me xD

to all the singlets in the VenturianTale fandom who worry about this sometimes (and to the singlets who think they know better than us/lh)

that its okay to like and/or headcanon Johnny Ghost/Jimmy Casket (and Gregory?) as a system/plural/DID.

like yes, how it was done in the original source WAS bad! Jordan demonized the hell out mental illness in general.

but that doesn't mean that we can't reclaim and make it better!!!!!!!!!

systems and system-friends alike!

and i know a lot of people get nervous about it, mainly singlets (people who are not plural/systems) and i understand so don't worry. this isnt a post saying you should headcanon it. it's a post saying that system/plural/did headcanon is OKAY and we need to loosen up on it a little bc we acting like we can't make a better or improved version of the source.

booing singlets who think they are god's fucking gift to the plural/system/did & osdd community by saying jimmy casket and johnny ghost is always gonna be bad representation and treat those who headcanon it weirdly lmao

we already change and separate the source to our liking to begin with.

I also know its common for singlets to be worried about misrepresenting systems when using that headcanon and would rather not touch it to be safe which is fair. because being a system isn't a quirky character trait, you can't just give to a character will nilly, not without handling it without genuine love and care for both the character(s) and the community they represent!

but also shout out from the depths of my soul to those, systems and singlets alike, who do take on the headcanon while doing proper research and talking to systems about it!!

also yes some systems do not like the original take of jimmy casket and johnny ghost as it is in fact bad system/did representation. We (my headmates and I) also dont like how it was done originally. but i personally see it as an opportunity to turn it into something better and meaningful.

It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I know it feels like you're losing your mind, it feels like you're going crazy maybe. It feels like everything you thought you were and liked and understood about yourself is wrong, disappearing and running out of your hands faster than you can understand. I know.

You might feel lonely, you might feel scared, you might feel comforted or finally supported, knowing that there was more to it all and that you can finally start understanding your selves better.

Please take your time- you have been like this, a system, your whole life, it's not going to change suddenly to being a singlet. Yes, even when your system or headmates go silent. They're still there.

Don't push boundaries. try different things, be okay with things going slow. Remember to be respectful in your eagerness to learn more. Remember that there are things you don't know and you don't understand and it's all for a reason. You have time. You have your whole life.

You are valid, you are okay, I'm sorry it's scary right now, you will be okay.

Journal or write or record or text and talk to people you genuinely trust and can be there for you. Online spaces can be nice but be careful.

I repeat, online spaces can be nice but be careful.

Don't share triggers or information about alters and yourself on here for the public to see. Maybe make the posts private, keep them in drafts, or download an app that allows you to post privately like mytter. Keep your cards to your chest. Protect your system. Show them you are safe and you want to keep them safe.

Of course there's the one we see mentioned a lot: an alter temporarily ceasing to exist as an alter. No communication, no awareness, no memories of the time. Nothing. Just a blank spot for the alter. Don't get me wrong, it can be terrifying too.

Then there's simply an alter being completely sealed off. They still exist, they can still think and feel and are aware. But they're alone. No idea what is happening in the real world, or with other alters. Trapped alone, with no idea how long they'll be there or when they'll get to speak to anyone again. The feeling of being alone is almost suffocating. It's all encompassing. Because that's all there is.

And then there's the last form, which, to me, is the main form I personally have experienced, and the most terrifying to me.

The best way I can think to describe it is like a limbo. A space between existence and non existence. It's a paradox. I exist, but I don't. I hear, but I listen to nothing. I feel, but my emotions don't exist. I act and speak, and yet I do nothing.

No one knows I'm there, not even me. I have no presence. No appearance, no thoughts, no feelings, nothing to say or do. I simply perceive. It's like I'm a lense, like a little camera taking note of everything happening, but without having any influence or thoughts or feelings of its own.

And coming out of that state is terrifying. Every single memory floods back all at once, too much despite simultaneously being like I was already there for it. I have to detangle myself from the memories I witnessed from other alters who fronted while I was in that state, simultaneously trying to piece back together who I am while trying to deal with the messy cascade of memories.

I have to deal with all the emotions all at once, try to piece every part of myself back together correctly.

Oh and the contradictory emotions over the event itself too! Wondering why I wanted to be gone in the first place because of how it feels like I had been ripped apart while also wanting so desperately to go back to that, go back to that state of equilibrium between existence and non existence.

And then having to deal with the flood of my own memories coming back. The memories of what causes the dormancy. Because for me, the only time that kind of dormancy happens is when something so horrific happened that I would rather be stuck in that awful state than deal with the way my own mind seems to be trying to shred itself to pieces because it can't cope with what happened.

Which leads to the end of the process: the realization that I failed and now I'm stuck right back where I started. And the worst part is that I'll never forget.

RAMCOA systems are DID/OSDD systems, their formation is just based in this form of abuse or has been affected by this abuse, and there may be more unique elements to their system as a result.

The idea of a 'ramcoa system' isn't a recognised term I don't think, we just use it to say 'systems that have experienced ramcoa'

In terms of differing from DID/OSDD systems that haven't experienced ramcoa, some may not differ at all, others will differ greatly

It's more common for ramcoa systems to:

be polyfragmented

have shell alters or aspects of the system that are 'shells', they are described as acting like a 'mask' that hides the system

have gatekeepers or other roles made to organise a system or its memories

have alters based on or containing numbers, colors, or other organizational systems

have introjects of perpetrators that may or may not continue abusive behaviors in-system

More clear differences may include: (major tw for specific ramcoa experiences)

an organized headspace that usually acts to reinforce programming or a message, may or may not be designed by the perpetrator

designed hierarchies in-system, may be reinforced by the inner world's structure, and they typically reflect a belief of the perpetrator

and also happened bc of like a few other times... but elijah was the final straw bc of how they asked it lol

and also people ask questions like this to fictives/introjects all the time in general and I'd like it to stop because it's weird 😭

Spreading love to all the systems out there♥️

Y'all are so strong for making it through what y'all went through growing and I am damn proud to see y'all made it to today. Each and every one of y'all deserve love

ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ~♥️

🥩WHAT IS A SYSTEM?

Read more to find out!