#syscourse ig

1 dont want to start d1scourse on your blog, 1 just d1dn't know where to talk about th1s. 1 haven't been able to f1nd enough stuff to tell my fr1end thay they're wrong yet...

-Ra1nbow anon

Yeah your friend is full of bullshit and lets start with each one

1- "not enough alters" there's not a right way to be a system. We have 100+ alters (only about 20/30 front frequently) and have been invalidated for it, we also know systems of only two people, the definition of a system is "more than one personality". It doesnt matter how little.

2- "that fandom is too young to know what they're talking about" who made that post is 22 and is on college+know im a system for 4/5 years. I know what im talking about

3- "mafuyu doesnt even have the right trauma to be a system" there's no right trauma, our trauma was loneliness, and you can also be a system without even having a trauma, although you cant be diagnosed then. Doctors dont know everything about the human brain, so the possibilities of systems is unknown. Plus its literally a headcanon for fun who said it needs to be accurate?

I.. believe your friend is a sysmed, people who tends to think there's a right way to be a system, i dont think that would change even with stuff telling them otherwise, qnd im sorry you had to deal with that, i think if you try to change their mind start small, like not going straight for the trauma part becayse that.. theres a lot of syscourse around that, but the not enough alters could potentially change, if they get too angry though its best to just not mention it anymore.

Whether or not this is a literal reality doesn't really impact our belief; we have no way of knowing, and assuming it's fictional or mentally generated and enforcing that belief would be harmful to collectivites who are from there, have family there, or have ongoing lives there.

Also: it isn't hurting anyone. Most people don't even know about our inner world, because what they see is the front, which is usually all that's relevant. We write about events that go on there in a personal locked journal, but again, it's certainly not anything we're forcing on anyone or trying to 'prove' in any way.

And I get it. I’m glad to have people with me who know what I’m going through, but it has its fucking downsides.

I don't remember any of my childhood, even the parts that were ok. I don't remember most of my life. What I do remember only pops up when someone reminds me of it or is a fucking trauma memory. I will wake up in random clothes or areas and not know where I am. The mix of dysphoria and dysmorphia that we deal with due to the body fitting none of our mental images makes wearing anything more than a hoodie and sweatpants impossible some days. Anyone we date has to know or it feels gross to do stuff with them. Most of us can't date cuz we don't match the body age or don't front often enough. We get scared when one of us fronts alone. We make stupid choices and say stupid things and don't remember them.

This is why I don't like endogenic systems. I’m of the opinion that a lot just don't remember trauma or are doing it because they are lonely. But if you only have the friends and none of the downsides, it feels like you're cosplaying a fucking mental illness. We formed because we were abused. Our whole life. We were made to protect our host from the fucked up shit they were going through. We dissociated because it wasn't safe or comfortable to be in our fucking body. Or brain.

We can't do normal college student stuff. We can't go drinking or get high because it either makes people frontstuck or so blurry/amnesiac that it's dangerous. We get overstimulated from too many people talking inside our brain at once. Our persecutor makes our life hell if he's ignored. Our symptoms and preferences change and then no one thinks we're telling the truth.

We genuinely do not get all that upset when people disagree with us on the issues, the thing we hate is when people misrepresent an argument. We think it's harmful to tell people they have trauma they don't remember without being their psychiatrist or therapist. We think, in general, if you disagree or are uncomfortable with someone existing a certain way you have an obligation to separate yourself from them, not to try to change their behavior.

I feel uncomfortable and don't necessarily believe every person in the community with my whole chest, but it's also not my business. I was wrong about my origins and system functioning multiple times in the past, but someone coming into the tag to tell me that I'm totally wrong about it was not, in fact, how I figured that out. People find the truth on their own time.

So I guess this is our stance on syscourse: if it upsets you, makes you angry, or triggers you to lash out at people questioning your claims in good faith, maybe don't. Just find a place where you can have a nice time on the internet. I do this mostly for shits and giggles and because the syscourse space is very low on voices that have been part of the community for any significant length of time, to its detriment. I've gotten anons telling me to unalive myself, calling me fake, insulting and harassing me for...at least the past eight years? It isn't going to bother me.

But if it bothers you, stop hurting yourself and putting others at risk of being hurt by you. If you can't handle someone being a little snippy with you, then don't. Engage. Delete the account and stop putting yourself at risk for being drawn back in.