#sxso

by Larissa

What “bag” is someone trying to secure instinctually?

SELF-PRESERVATION

Is trying to secure a bag of foundational cookies, steaks, time, energy, money, investments (multiple meanings), hovel/home/property, supplies, resource independence, ideal temperature/weather conditions, physical gratification (sniffing butts + sexual release to get off and move on with day 💪😮‍💨), comfortable/satisfying environment and lifestyle, boundary-maxing. 🏠

This “bag” is most static, building on top of itself, tangible, quantifiable, measurable. 🧱

SPSO (self-preservation/social)

Secures the SP bag secondarily via social connections, clout, community, store front, public-facing persona, partner/mate (often chosen for fitting an SP ideal - whether as a “trophy” physically or job/finance/skillset/stable choice - someone to nest with + grow). 🪺 Ant colony, brick-layer mentality. Following the well-trod path for successful outcomes. May be the Mercedes Benz SPSO or the Dollarama can-hoarder, freebie-seeker SPSO - depends on type and conditioning. 🛺

SX lastness can manifest as utilizing SPSO to secure a mate/romantic connection that is devoid of chemistry but checks other more practical boxes. And can then manifest as a wandering eye or Instagram scroll p0rnsick behaviors while the wife cooks dinner, etc. Hand callouses and office humps threaten the SPSO world. 🔥 🧯🏚️

SPSX (self-preservation/sexual)

Secures the SP bag with help from physical attractiveness (defies conventional norms or is more intense/seedy), 🕷️ mystery/strange flavour makes their skills or hovel or body more compelling, creating intensity or sparking intrigue with flirts / exhibitionism designed to create pleasure that leads to $ales, resources, comfort, physical gratification, primal sexual werewolf urgency 🌕 but returns to drinking soup off a hot plate and mainlining black coffee to tinker for 8 hours on some project. Has more degenerate, grimy vibe than SPSO. 🪱You’ll get sticky in their hovel. Worst UTI of your life.🩸Openly lick their fangs at you. 👀 🫦

SX can fuck up SP so person will sacrifice a bit but in bursts, perhaps. 💣 SO lastness can manifest as not being aware of social consequences/cues, which might threaten SP resources because of an unwillingness to engage inter-relationally outside of cave. 🕳️

SOCIAL

Is trying to secure the “bag” of clout, networks, groups, ideology, popularity, public persona with an impressive, significant or at least vaguely aspirationally acceptable “image” and role in the social fabric they exist or desire to exist in. They are focused on relationships, whose doing what/who, who knows who, what’s happening, pop culture or some kind of “social sphere” (specificity and breadth of interest relates more to type). 🎊 Can be shallow social climbers or inspirational leaders with some miserable haters peppered in for variety (using social criticism to distinguish and separate themselves from the herd). 💅

The “bag” is semi-permanent - less stable and more dramatic with SX second, more stable and consistent with SP second. Disposable friendships often shuffled through at leisure vs loyal girl gang. ✨

SOSX (social/sexual)

Is securing social “bag” via chemistry, flirtations, spontaneity, provocations designed to get attention socially or draw energy to social “needs.” Advancing themselves relationally through who they can drive into a limerent frenzy. SX serves to feed the SO hunger to be someone noteworthy. Lovers / partners may serve to boost their social signal and buzz around them. They can be gossiping trash bags or the chaotic friend you invite to turnt up the SPSO board game, cheese cubes and nerd trivia gathering. May use SX to sexualize or create intrigue around their social “role.” ✨

SP lastness can manifest as leveraging

connections to take care of uninteresting SP realm (disregard or feigning incompetence). The hot mess express can threaten the SOSX’s ability to get what they want socially if they become known as consistently unreliable, chaotic, disruptive. 🧨

SOSP (social/self-preservation)

Is securing the social “bag” through tangible and marketable skills, their impressive acquisitions or potential acquisitions (finances, art collection, house, car, their business), maybe using “body” to advance self socially via fashion/style. More refined / snooty tastes than SPSO + SOSX, and can more effortlessly pull off “elegant” or “dapper.” They signal their social worth via SP sculpting (judge a book by its cover). May use SP as portal to reap social harvest, curate social world and block riff-raff. 🪭

SOSP’s can wall out attractions in favour of maintaining social standing, leading to compartmentalized, bone-dry kink. Or SX-lastness can interrupt their game of high tea when their partner sneaks out back to have one-off with the horny maid. Their lack of willingness to “play” can prevent them from opening up social rooms they might want in.

SEXUAL

Is trying to secure a “bag” (or bags) of limerent 🧃, chemical romance, constantly churning intrigue and feeding the hungry sparking atoms that crave another person’s undivided gaze, energetic whirlwind🌪️, high risk (many meanings - devouring/being devoured) attraction, moment of collision and turning someone else / being turned inside out (over and over) to feel alive. They operate on a different dimension where the language is undoing sublimations button by button, and weaving energetic subtext like golden threads that leave scars on the skin. It’s an art form of pulling and pushing, intoxication and purification, suffocating submersion and jet skiing away. This process results in human casualties and lust/disgust organs to harvest 🫀, grind into a powder and bathe in to amplify the SX type’s danger and appeal. 🩸🛁

The “bag” is temporary, mutating, evolving, tangibly unmeasurable outside of a wake of damaged hearts, sweat-soaked sheets and trail of chaos. It is the dance of predator and prey. 🦜 🐅 “Stability” may be sought via a singular, fated, electrifying, transcendent connection but it is an illusion due to the nature of the instinct - supply must be constantly renewing, recharging, reigniting, dying + rebirthing in order for it to maintain “bag” status. When the bag fails, flatlines, runs empty or it becomes poisoned and tainted - which it is likely to do at some point - more bags must be tested, toyed with, sucked on. They may return to original bag when it has replenished its juice or they may stick it in the freezer as a snack for later. 🥶

SXSP (sexual/self preservation)

Is trying to secure a bag full of limerence, intrigue, chemistry, drama and penetration inside of a secret world blocked out by the SP wall. The bouncer may slide the eye hole to the door over and look you up and down 👁️ 👄 👁️ like a delicious morsel but invitation to the cave is special and a show designed for one. Or perhaps you will be led down a long corridor where you are kept in a cell waiting for your turn but you will feel the vampire’s thrall and smell the pheromones as you impatiently wait. ⛓️‍💥🕯️ 🚬

First strategy for summoning sexual supply is magnetic lures - calling upon subject like casting a spell. SP strategy uses beauty of physical body / their artistry or skills / hyper specific aesthetic mesmerism signalling both predator and prey / environment’s charged atmosphere as tangible bait like a siren summoning you to your death.🩸🪨 The cost of admission is your potential destruction. This is not a hyperbole.

You will recognize the SXSP by the sweater they wear, knitted from the veins of their past + current victims that are feeding them sexual caffeine. They will try and keep this process somewhat behind closed doors in their sex tomb but it will ooze out like infectious fluids.

Social lastness “mistakes” + blunders can mess with the SXSP game of intrigue when the social meddlers involve themselves. The social field threatens to overwhelm what the SXSP cannot control and might threaten existing SX bags they’re still squeezing the life out of if a meddler tries palpating it. 🤏

SXSO (sexual/social)

Is securing a “bag” full of limerence and addictive intrigue via the energy field and symbolic web of people (groups, relationships, “audience”). Connections are prioritized / de-prioritized by their capacity to provide ⚡️ + 💦. They fancy themselves the star guest at a masquerade ball and every guest serves to feed, enhance or threaten the seductive narrative they’re actively writing through these connections, for one person (or maybe a couple if they’re feeling ambitious). 🎭 🎟️ 🪩

Social seconds may change dance partners and exchange glances with others but it’s all part of the spectacle to hook one subject. 🎡 They might use these guests to highlight how attractive they are - which may or may not backfire. They’re signalling that they could dance away with another. You will feel the flap of their wings in the air before you realize you’ve been left stranded in a mob of chemically castrated Thriller zombies.

If you’re a savvy enough paramour you’ll be able to follow the glittering breadcrumbs into the sky after them where you may be destroyed by the change in altitude. 🪽🔥

SXSO’s are competitive in a dispersed way, escalating social sparks to energy harvest and create a dizzying effect on their target. They use social to funnel infatuation material to them in a more unrestricted way than SXSP.

But lack of SP can bite them when all the glittering sex bombs they’ve dropped detonate + have consequences.✨💣 Damage to physical/foundational SP resources (last) or even social self is part of the accepted/uninteresting cost of playing with fire and magic. They can potentially re-fashion such damage to be part of the performance to keep the wider audience of potential SX plasma bags engaged but being an SP last means they can appear to be lacking once the SX spell wears off and their subject realizes they are lying on an air mattress in a 200 sqft apartment and dopamine hedonism is a way of life. 🥂

Enneagram: 7w6 sx/so

I don't see enough people talking about this, but these points have been crucial in my own journey of self-typing and typing others, so here we go. Before you type yourself, consider:

The degree of stress you're under right now: Stress greatly influences how you view yourself, or if you have enough objective self knowledge to have an honest assessment of your own type. While a normal amount of stress brings people into their strengths, continued stress actually pushes you into the worse parts of your personality, and this experience can last anywhere from a few hours to (in borderline-traumatic cases) decades. And it's not an objective assessment of your type if it is only decided based on how you are at your worst. your type is a mixture of your general thought process, your worse tendencies, AND your better choices.

Possible general or trauma-induced dissociation: A lot of people have a general tendency to dissociate for internal or environmental reasons. it's WAY more common than we think, and it happens in varying degrees of "this trait upsets me so i pretend i don't have it/this trait makes me happy so i own it as a defining part of my personality" to "i do things that enrage and/or surprise me, i don't know where these thoughts and behaviors come from, and i'm helpless in controlling them so in my good days i pretend that they don't exist and get shocked/upset when people point them out to me" cases, counting out DID since that one is the obvious case. People tend to have more dissociation towards the parts of their psyche that resides in the [MBTI] tertiary and inferior functions, or the [instinctual variants] blindspot, oooor [in an enneagram sense] the parts of us that keep us from achieving the ideal image we aspire to have, but this isn't always the case. And to have an honest view of yourself, you have to keep in mind that at all times you're a little, or a lot, dissociating from parts of you that is unpleasant/scary/sad to think about, and that it's not only okay, but necessary to be open to feedback, new experiences and new insights regarding yourself. Fear is an inseparable part of self discovery, so before trying to type yourself, you have to learn to be comfortable with fear and be able to sit with it and learn from it. You don't have to 'accept' whatever comes your way and whatever new thing you discover, but you have to be able to entertain possibilities and get comfortable with the uncertainty and complexity that comes with being a human.

Mental illness: this one kinda goes without saying, but mental illnesses of all kinds (or generally being stuck in fear responses) narrows your focus on a very limited number of mental tools you have learnt since childhood for dealing with a shit life. They make it very hard to be present to your whole personality, not what you constantly resort to in times of (perceived or real) crisis. It's not impossible to type yourself when you have mental illnesses, but it makes the process longer, and you need to have more patience and compassion towards yourself.

Your gender: It actually really fucking matters, how you're raised based on your actual or perceived gender, or even the gender your caretakers proffered you to be like. Your own personality and preferences are only a small part of the choices you make throughout your life, and another part of that process is how others react to you and the choices you might make. In some cases, even though your preferences are right there, you may make different choices because there's more reward and acceptance for that choice, even though it's not your actual preference. Or you may make choices because the consequences you'll face for not making them are so high and dont seem like they're worth it. A lot of women don't entertain the possibility of being a thinker because as women they're conditioned to think that they suck at rational decisionmaking and have a natural knack for emotions and dealing with them. As a byproduct of that conditioning, many thinker women have higher emotional awareness and are more in touch with their emotional side than men of the same type - simply because there is a lot of social shaming and pressure on women to be sympathetic and considerate and to be able to emote. A lot of feeler men actually have less healthy thought frameworks and tools around emotions then women of the same type, as society does not expect men or train them for emotional intelligence and thought frameworks generally associated with femininity and women stuff. SO blind women are often more accommodating and mindful of how they're perceived than SO blind men, SP blind men often have more attention to SP and develop more tools in dealing with SP-related works, etc etc, the list goes on forever. The thing to keep in mind is, toss out the stereotypes. Don't dismiss different possibilities simply because "you're not as emotional as the feeling type descriptions suggest" or "you're not as edgy as the SO blinds you've seen" or “you have some hobbies you love dearly so you must be a SX variant”. Different descriptions are written with the majority of that type in mind. They're ripe with stereotypes, and for a good reason. But you don't have to fit with stereotypes to be a type, you just have to share the thought process and the inherent preferences that create its mindset.

With all that said, what is the best approach to self-typing?

Observe yourself when you're in flow state. When you're content, happy, feel safe, and are surrounded with people who accept you and love you for who you are, no matter what it looks like. If you cannot find a context in which you feel like that, imagine yourself 5 years from now, in a context that gives you those feelings. What would you look like if you were surrounded by accepting, loving, sincere people who accept you no matter what and find you enough in and of yourself? imagine that scenario in full details and make note of the choices you would make in that context.

Make notes of what you have generally thought most of your life, before you had mental illness. Be open to any and all thoughts that might come up.

Learn to love yourself before you try to self-type. It's hard to type yourself correctly if you're consciously or subconsciously fighting against parts of you that you consider weak/unacceptable/not enough/boring/problematic/wrong. Be open to your own thoughts and other's feedback and before you try to decide what type you are, decide that whatever comes up is okay, is cool, is enough, and there's nothing wrong with it. Shame and judgement is the enemy of objectivity. consciously decide to accept and offer compassion  to yourself. If you cannot seem to do that, imagine an anxious dear friend of yours, and write down how you would treat them and what you would tell them. Now do those stuff for yourself to the best of your abilities, and tell those things to yourself.

Trying to bring more attention to this particular personality psychology measure and also follow up the MBTI and Enneagram musicals

So/Sp

Sp/So

So/Sx

Sx/So

Sp/Sx

Hope you’ll like it ^^

SoSp - social buildings, monuments, climbing to the sky from a solid base, structure, sword and shield (political symbols of protection), suit and banquet (status, formality, sobriety), environmentalism, our world is our home

SpSo - earth (stability, material concerns, practicality), life and death, subtle religious references, discipline and fitness, body-nature relation, physical comfort, resources and social status (car and money), monument to individuality

SpSx - contained fire, fire used for comfort and mountain-building, individualism, drink and cigar (material pleasure), subtle intensity (safety x danger relation), death reference, pillar, rogue (look for material gains through expertise and exploration).

SxSp - Uncontainable fire and smoke, Phoenix, seduction references (obliviousness to social dynamics and appropriateness), cigarette and blood (dichotomy between self-destruction/material pleasure and stability), sexual aggressiveness, individualistic sensuality.

SxSo - smirk, flirt, seduction, exhibitionism (red feathers, peacock-ish), individualistic revolt, sociocultural action, iconoclasm, passion and playful seduction (lollipop), sparkles, playful sin (apples).

The Freudian ivs

Sexual instict: ID

Self-preservation instict: EGO

Social instict: SUPEREGO