Cathexis 🜍 PJM 🜍 2
Masterpost
🜍Title: Cathexis
ca·thex·is/kəˈTHeksəs/ noun: the concentration of mental energy on one particular person, idea, or object (especially to an unhealthy degree).
🜍Summary: Possessing a power that was genetically passed onto him, Jimin has to face life’s struggles managing this burden alone. He finds himself back in a town he vaguely recalls , where he hopes to find some semblance of peace, but what he doesn’t expect is to come face to face with his past.
🜍Film: Firestarter
🜍Pairing: Jimin x reader
🜍Genre: Slight Yandere 🜍 Firestarter au 🜍 Thriller 🜍 7K words
🜍Warnings: Smut 18+M, virgin!Jimin, angst, premature ejaculation, cum eating, pining, teasing, inexperienced Jimin, shy Jimin, name calling, bullying, possessive themes, psychic abilities, slight yandere themes, childhood trauma, touch starved Jimin, first kiss, vulnerable Jimin, aggression, loss of control, miscommunication, emotional trauma, hair tugging, jealousy, violation of privacy.
🜍A/N: Thank you to my wifey @outromoni for the banner.
He shouldn’t have been so distracted while working, but it just couldn’t be helped. His head was filled with everything that happened the night before. The way you smiled at him and laughed at your own jokes replayed over and over in his mind. He would never forget the way you lifted your intoxicated eyes at him and smiled. It all felt like a dream, and yet it had really happened. He wondered what it would have been like if his family had stayed and whether or not he would have continued being your friend. Would things have turned out good? Would you and he have turned into high school sweethearts? He found himself so lost in thought he didn’t realize it was already lunch time.
As he munched on his sandwich, he had to tell himself to stop looking at the clock on the wall. Time was dragging and his patience was running thin. He found himself anxiously awaiting the chance to see you again, certain that he wouldn’t disappoint you this time.
Before he knew it, his jeep was parked in front of the diner, the one place he’d been waiting all day to come to and yet he could not find the courage to enter, again. This was the second time he did this and it was pathetic to say the least. He closed his eyes, taking in several breaths and looked ahead. A few rocks near the edge of the building began levitating and he bit his bottom lip hard knowing that the sharp and sudden pain would distract him. All the heavy stones fell back into place. Jimin glanced around, but there was no one in sight. Counting back from ten, he breathed in and out once more and then checked his bottom lip in the mirror. Of course there was blood. How would he explain this to you now?
He became exasperated realizing that he was overreacting and that this wasn’t anything to be nervous about. He knew you and you knew him-–it was simple.
Visions of you filled his mind and Jimin pressed his lips together to keep himself from smiling like an idiot. He really was such a pathetic virgin. This had to be the reason for his nerves. Any normal person would just be chill around the opposite sex, but of course this wasn’t the case for Jimin. Due to Jimin’s constant running, he never settled anywhere long enough to attempt anything with someone else. He was either on the run or too suspicious of people. He would certainly be embarrassed if you ever found out, so he needed to pull himself together.
Somehow he made it inside and the instant he did, his eyes scanned the entire place for you. Weird. He didn’t see you right away so he sat himself down in the same booth he always sat at. The menu blurred before him because in truth his mind wasn’t on food. The object of his desire was nowhere to be seen. This was probably pay back. Maybe this was your way of letting him know that he shouldn’t be making anything out of this relationship. You only wanted to be friends and it wasn’t like Jimin had the luxury of getting into anything complicated.
A waitress came over, but it wasn’t you, and begrudgingly he ordered something random. Asking about you was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back not wanting to seem obvious. He tried to keep himself occupied so that he wouldn’t get up in search of you because that would be a little too ridiculous on his part… right? It’s not like you were supposed to give Jimin all your attention simply because he was at your workplace. Since he arrived you’d been around him non-stop, and this was just one time when you weren’t, and he could live with that, right?
Suddenly Jimin didn’t like how he was feeling.
His feet were the first to move and then his body followed. He pretended he was going to the bathroom but it was an excuse to scan the entire place. When he found nothing, he started back to his booth…until he heard your voice. It was faint, but it was clearly you and you didn’t sound very happy. He continued following the sound which led him to the back doors of the diner. Through the screen he could hear what sounded like you were very upset and his heart started to race. He was about to run out and find out what was wrong until the voice of a male stopped him. Who the fuck was that?
Jimin could barely pick up bits and pieces of what was being discussed, but from what he could tell, this sounded a lot like an ex. Subconsciously he clenched his fists and his breathing quickened. He moved forward a bit to see the face of this stranger, a stranger that was causing you stress of which Jimin wasn’t very happy about, but he couldn’t clearly make out a face. A slight wind picked up around him, strong enough to move his luscious black hair to and fro. Sweat beads began building on his forehead and his eyes began to change to a burning orange color. He was breathing a lot heavier and his hands were still at his sides. Some smaller objects near him began to shake lightly and slowly elevate from the ground.
Don’t do it, Jimin. Breathe, Jimin. The voice of his parents echoed in his mind, but he couldn’t find it in him to calm down at all. His eyes narrowed as his vision focused on one person’s silhouette.
Suddenly the voices outside became a little confused and even afraid. From where Jimin stood he could see a row of rocks slowly levitating around the guy’s frame. They were spinning around him in a circle along with a heavy wind that was whipping around all kinds of grass and paper. The stranger was in an obvious panic and so were you. A smirk slowly bloomed on Jimin’s lips and he was about to take another step, make a really bad decision…. but your presence stopped that.
You ran inside smacking right into Jimin’s chest falling to the ground on top of him. Jimin wasn't expecting you since he’d been facing the opposite door staring at the man he was about to teach a lesson to.
“Jimin? Oh my God I’m sorry. Something crazy is happening outside. I need to…”
You were up and wiping your skirt helping Jimin to his feet when the back door swung open and slammed against the wall. Jimin stepped back and adjusted his clothes, an apology on his lips as well, but that was interrupted by the stranger walking in.
“Y/n. What the fuck was that? I’m out of here. Remember what I said.”
The voice of the man he’d only heard but not seen was now right in front of him, and when Jimin glanced into the stranger’s eyes, something inside him snapped. It was him—the fucking bully. The bastard turned to eye Jimin wondering who he was, but out of his fear for what happened not moments ago, he turned quickly and left through the diner’s front entrance. Figures he’d be a bitch-ass.
“I’m sorry about that, Jimin. I was just…oh no…your lip.” You reached out without thinking to touch his bottom lip, the dried blood confusing you. The chaos that happened moments ago slipped your mind for a moment when you saw that Jimin was hurt. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing. I should be asking you the same. You bumped into me pretty hard.”
Your mind came back to the weird events that had just taken place and you looked a little shaken up. “Oh yeah…there was…I mean I don’t even know what it was. If I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. I know I saw it though. There was wind and the rocks–” You looked out the door to make sure you hadn’t been making things up, but everything looked calm and normal. For a moment it felt like you’d imagined it, but someone else had been a witness to it too, so it clearly did happen.
“I’m so confused. It’s gone now, but…” You returned your focus to Jimin who’s lip was now bleeding slowly. An instinct to take care of him overcame you. “Never mind that right now. Come here.” You grabbed his hand and walked him to the back kitchen. Settling him near the sink, you found a strong paper towel, wetting it before placing it on his lip. Jimin flinched a bit, the entire situation leaving him scatter-brained. One moment his emotions were taking over leading him to commit a terrible act, and the next you were there nurturing his lip when it was his fault for biting it. He closed his eyes to gather himself, relishing in the way your gentle touch soothed him. Gently you wiped at his lip and Jimin’s breathing calmed, along with his rage. He indulged in it for a moment, but in truth he felt guilty for what he’d done and how his carelessness could have hurt you.
“There. I’m sorry about what just happened. I thought it was my fault.” You threw the paper in the trash and attempted a smile although your nerves were still frayed.
“N–no, it wasn’t you.” Jimin shook his head cutely and then grabbed your hands in his when he saw them shaking. He really was such a fucking brute. Why was it so hard for him to control himself? He’s been living with this curse since he was born. You would think he’d have it under control by now.
Tilting your head, your smile became softer and more relaxed. Perhaps it was the way Jimin’s eyes bore into yours or the soothing way his thumbs were rubbing over the back of your hands. Whatever it was, you relaxed a little more. “Then? How did you cut your lip like this?”
Jimin ran his tongue over the cut and hissed low. He should tell you that part of the reason was nerves, but if he was being honest, most of the reason was his anger. He had a bit of a problem keeping it from consuming him entirely. He almost set the entire establishment up in flames because of this, but he kept that to himself.
“It was an accident. I bit down too hard.”
Something in your look made it clear you weren’t buying his bullshit story, but once again, you weren’t going to pry. When Park Jimin wanted to reveal his secrets, he’d do it when he was ready.
“If you say so. Let’s go back to the diner. I wonder if anyone else saw what happened out there.”
Jimin simply shook his head and let you lead him out of the back by his hand like he was a lost toddler. You sat Jimin at his booth and chastised him about his now cold food. Afterward, you walked around asking people if they had noticed anything strange and you became frustrated when nobody had. You weren’t crazy and the person you were with had also freaked out, so it upset you that no one else had seen this. Not even Jimin who was standing by the door confirmed what you had seen.
Jimin stayed sitting at his booth obediently while you went on with your investigation. He couldn’t get the image of that idiot running inside or the way he was speaking to you with such disrespect. The question he wanted to ask you burned within him. Why the fuck were you even associated with that meathead? Jimin knew that people changed and that maybe it was possible for his ex-bully to do just that, but deep down he knew that wasn’t right.
You felt Jimin’s eyes following you and decided it was time to return to your duties. Since no one experienced what you had, you simply chalked it up to some sort of weird-magnetic-core-freak-weather event you didn’t know was supposed to happen, and perhaps later on you’d see more shared encounters of it on the news. Whatever the case, you avoided Jimin for one clear reason. You knew what he was thinking and you weren’t ready to have that conversation.
As soon as Jimin finished his food, he stood up and wrapped an arm around your hip and walked you out of the diner. He continued walking even though you were dragging your feet asking him where he thought he was taking you. When he got to his jeep, he pulled the door open and gave you a dark and serious look “Sit.” It was just one word but for some reason you didn’t want to challenge him. Sitting, you watched as he walked around the front, his eyes still trained on you. He reached his door and sat huffing out a breath and then turned on his car. He started to drive and you were pretty annoyed that he felt entitled enough to just up and kidnap you from work.
“You know this is illegal. I was still working.”
Jimin remained silent, but the air in the jeep was stifling. You cracked open a window and sat quietly. For having only met Jimin not a month ago, he was already a handful. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Jimin rolled his eyes and wanted so badly to tell you to be quiet because he was already doing his best not to lose it. He didn’t like letting his emotions get activated because a lot of the time he’d lose control and the last thing he wanted to do was scare you.
Pulling into his camp, Jimin parked his jeep roughly, tugging the parking break and then hopping out of his vehicle with heavy footsteps. He made it to your side again, but this time he was calmer. He offered his hand and you hesitated to take it.
Jimin took a deep breath and closed his eyes before opening them up with a much calmer expression. “I’m sorry. Let’s talk, okay?” He was looking up at you then and his face…it held so much…innocence. His eyes were soft and his sweet cherry lips were in a pout.
“You’d better make it good, Jimin because I don’t know what excuse I’m going to tell my boss.”
Jimin chuckled and nodded. “Let me try.”
You jumped out and followed him toward his tent where he opened the flap and bowed like a gentleman before you entered. “After you.”
The whole thing was silly, but it did have you laughing. You knew he was going to ask questions about what had happened earlier and the truth was you had no idea. One minute you were talking to James and the next a whole bunch of weird shit started happening, and then Jimin was there and they looked at each other…and you couldn’t really say, but you had a feeling he recognized James, otherwise why would you be here?
Sitting on a nearby small cot, you placed your hands in front of you feeling like you were about to be interrogated. Jimin was quiet, facing away from you and it made the whole space feel cramped. His presence, although not large, was very overwhelming. There was something about Jimin since the first time you saw him that made it obvious things weren’t going to be so simple.
“James? Why him, Y/n?”
At first you were confused because what did he mean by why him? All Jimin saw was James walk in and leave unless…
“You heard?”
“Yeah, I heard. I heard a lot. You and him?”
It was then that Jimin turned and there were tears in his eyes. The guilt you felt ripped at your heart and you felt a lump in your throat. “Jimin…I–”
“No..no…don’t lie to me, please. I’ve already dealt with so much. The one person I thought I could trust…I should have known better. I’m so stupid.”
Jimin suddenly began speaking quickly and hiccupping in between every word. You could barely understand him, and unsure of what to do, you sat there looking up at him with hands in your lap grasped tightly. Your own tears threatened to spill and suddenly he was on his knees in front of you. The room around you felt hotter and then you caught something out of the corner of your eyes.
A wind picked up inside of the small space and you knew that was strange since you were both inside of a tent with all the openings zipped up. And then the objects within lifted off of the floor and hovered in the air. You swallowed in fear, unable to keep your eyes focused on any one thing. Why was this happening again? Your eyes finally landed on Jimin wondering why he wasn’t reacting to any of this, but Jimin simply placed his head on your lap and spoke in a broken whisper.
“I just can’t stop…”
You pulled your hands from your lap and set them at your sides. You were unsure about whether to scream or run because so much weird shit was happening right now. How could Jimin be so calm and what exactly couldn’t he stop?
He turned his head then to look at you and that’s when you saw his eyes. They glowed a fiery orange and it was then that you lost it. You tried to push him off your lap, but the weight of his body held you in place. He grabbed your hands and brought them to his lips, kissing them tenderly. Closing his eyes, he sobbed out quietly. “Please tell me to breathe. Tell me to control my emotions.”
“J–Jimin…what’s hh-happening?”
You don’t know if it was fear or the pain in Jimin’s voice, but you found yourself chanting what he’d asked simply because you weren't sure if this man was going to kill you. The air in the tent was stifling and you could feel the sweat bead down your back. The items that had been at floor level were now at the very top of the tent swirling about as if in a tornado, but you continued speaking the words, eyes closed tight, praying that everything would stop. Your voice was shaking like crazy and Jimin never let go of your hands as if he knew you’d get up and run the moment he let go.
Soon the air around you hushed and everything settled down. You opened your eyes hesitantly at the eerie stillness but for some reason you couldn’t stop repeating the words over and over even though things had quieted down. Jimin finally opened his eyes and this time they were dark brown as they had always been and you blew out a sigh of relief.
If you thought Jimin had a lot of questions for you, there were WAY more that you had for him. He stared at you with creased brows, keeping his eyes locked onto yours, his breathing now slowing down to a normal rate.
“JJ–Jimin...I’m scared.”
“Please don’t be, Y/n. Let me explain. Please don’t run.”
It didn’t matter that he was asking you not to run because you’d already planned your escape the minute he spoke. You wanted to run, but your legs wouldn’t move, almost as if you had a crippling fear that you’d set him off. Would Jimin hurt you? Was it your fault this happened?
Now that you knew the source of this chaos, you felt incredibly helpless. Here you were in his tent with no one to help you. Even if you screamed no one would hear. You were so distracted in fear, you didn't realize Jimin was reaching for your face until you felt his hand on your cheek, the unexpected touch making you shiver.
“I won’t hurt you. Please let me explain. I promise.” There was something in his eyes...a sort of plea you couldn’t deny. This was the worst part about you, wanting to help others when it was clear you should run very far away.
Somehow you found your voice, and trying not to sound too afraid, you demanded an answer. “You’d better start telling me what the hell just happened because I am afraid for my life right now.”
Jimin smiled softly and then came to sit beside you. He seemed much smaller and more vulnerable than he appeared just minutes ago. He turned toward you and lowered his head seemingly at a loss for words. You didn’t want to press him because you weren’t sure what he was capable of. It took him a few moments, but he began talking and then he didn’t stop. He told you all about why his parents had moved and about the experiments….and even how he was a sort of freak hybrid with both of his parents abilities, something the scientists never expected. Out of all the participants, his parents had been the last couple that remained hidden until the day they were found.
It was supposed to be like any other day. Jimin’s mom was cooking in the kitchen and his father was outside taking care of the lawn. They’d been living in a rural area for some time, so sure that since there were no people around for miles they’d be safe to live a private life. They even homeschooled Jimin, and for several years life was perfect and quiet.
Jimin had been out by the lake playing with some racing boats quietly on that day, a hobby that he’d gotten into. He’d learned to build many things and he got very good at it. It was when he heard the first gunshot and then the next that he instantly knew what had happened. He was fifteen at the time.
Even though he was clearly distressed recounting his life story, there was no wind or chaos. It was like he was pouring out his soul, and with every bit of hidden trauma that he released, he felt himself getting lighter. Not once in his entire life had he ever shared this much with anyone. The freedom, the pressure being removed….it was all….euphoric.
By the time Jimin was done, his throat was dry and the tears on his cheek had also dried. At first you weren’t prepared for the things he would say because what could he really say that would excuse all of the insane stuff you’d seen so far. For a moment you had been convinced he was the devil, but now having heard everything, you were sure Jimin suffered more in his lifetime than any other person you’ve ever met.
He suddenly stopped talking, as if everything he’d been harboring was completely drained from him leaving nothing more to be said. Exhaustion took over, face forlorn and eyes downcast. He spoke once more…hoping this wouldn’t be the last time you and he would be together.
“That’s everything. If you still hate me I understand. I don’t expect anyone to like me, they never have. I haven’t had any chances to meet people or develop friendships. I can’t trust people, Y/n. You can see why…can’t you? I’m always on the run. You…you’re the only person I’ve actually been able to connect with. I’m not even sure how this is supposed to work. I know after everything you’ve seen you probably wouldn’t want to be my friend. I wouldn’t. You can leave now if you want, but thank you for what you’ve given me so far. It means the world to me.” Jimin pouted and lowered his head expecting the worst because what else would come of this?
Any normal person would have run away or despised him. This is what he was waiting for. What he wasn’t expecting was the soft skin from your hands caressing his cheeks, and even less the sweet brush of your lips against his own.
Maybe it was the way he looked so lost, eyes large and glossy, or the pain written all over his countenance that made you want to kiss it all away? Maybe this was your attempt to apologize for setting him off or a way to distract him from bringing up the entire reason for this moment—James. You're unsure why, but something pulled you to him like a magnet and you kissed him, lying to yourself that this would somehow redeem you in his eyes.
Jimin didn’t pull away, hell he didn’t even know what to do. He’d never been kissed before. He just sat there frozen in place with eyes wide, waiting to see what happened next. This was the first time anyone touched him so intimately and apparently he needed it more than he thought. The last time he remembered even being shown any kind of affection was when his parents were alive. They were his last hug…but that was ten years ago.
Your hand comes up to settle on his shoulder, squeezing gently. It’s a show of compassion meant to calm him, but a quiet sigh escapes him and you grin into the kiss.
“Better?” You ask pulling away.
“Yeah…” Jimin whispers, forgetting how to speak. “A lot better,” he manages to reply weakly.
“Good,” you chuckle, unable to hide how amused you were. Your attempt at distracting him worked bringing a satisfied smile to your lips. “Jimin, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never heard such a crazy story in my life. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through so much. I’m also sorry I reacted the way I did. I was just so scared. You looked so angry…so scary. It was all too much.”
Jimin panics for a moment wondering if you’ll leave him now that you knew he was a freak, but your kiss must’ve been for something, right? He doesn’t leave room for doubt. In his panic he crashes his lips to yours again and this time it catches you by surprise. He doesn’t falter, being a quick learner. His eyes close and he attempts swipes and rolls of his tongue, something you certainly weren’t expecting. You open up for him slightly, seeing how far he would go, but a particularly high pitched whine falls from his lips and you pull back amazed to see that his eyes are glazed over, mouth chasing yours…
“Jimin,” you breathe out a little lightheaded.
“Y/n, “ Jimin returns.
Jimin’s face is inches away and the look he gives you is strained, almost as if he’s begging you not to hate him. You knew this wasn’t the time to be making out, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t incredibly tempted. It seemed like Jimin was starved for touch and you wanted to show him you did care for him, but there was a lot to think about first.
“I…I have to go. I just need a little time, okay? I also have to call my boss. He’s going to think I quit.” You giggle and then grab his hand to pacify him. “I promise you have a friend in me. I won’t tell a soul, Jimin.”
Jimin nodded and smiled weakly. He didn’t know what a little time meant exactly, but he was still holding out for hope. If he could at least have one ally in his life, he’d choose you instantly. Although his future was bleak, he still wanted a connection. He craved it. It had been so long since anyone was this close. He was scared but also excited. A little happiness never hurt anyone, right?
If only the agency wasn’t still looking for him.
🜍🜍🜍
Jimin drove you back into town, the entire ride completely silent. Whatever needed to be said was said, and both of you were exhausted. That night, you tried to sleep, but dreams of young Jimin being bullied plagued you. You were back at the school standing off to the side watching Jimin become angry. Everything around him was winding in a chaotic flurry and there was fire…fire everywhere. You ran toward Jimin, screaming at him to stop, crying in hopes that he’d notice you, but then a large fire bomb came crashing toward you and you woke up. You were drenched in sweat and there were tears in your eyes. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest so much so that you had to place a hand over it to calm down. You hadn't seen Jimin use fire, but he’d told you all about it. It was still so crazy to you how anyone could go through such a thing. What the fuck was the military even thinking?
You were no longer sleepy, the weight of unresolved issues still hovering over your head. You decided to take a shower and then somehow your feet walked you all the way to Jimin’s camp. It was still semi-dark, with the sun about to rise, and you hoped Jimin was an early riser.
He wasn’t.
His tent was closed tight, the zipper giving you trouble at first, but you managed to open it. Before you could get the zipper fully down, a hand shot out and grabbed your wrist yanking you inside. Jimin is on top of you, chest bare, and face scowling.
“Y/n?” He asks, voice groggy and eyes squinting.
“It’s me, please don’t hurt me.”
“I..I would never.” Jimin frowns, confused as to why you would think he could hurt you. Hadn't the conversation from the night before cleared things up?
You had your eyes closed and your entire body was shaking like a leaf in the wind. Jimin carefully climbed off of you and pulled you onto his lap. He held you there in silence, a hand slowly caressing your hair. He knew he was a monster…or at least that he could be, but the last thing he wanted was for you to think that of him. This was why he told you everything. Never in his life has he trusted anyone this much…except for his family.
After a few minutes, you pulled away slightly and smiled. “I’m sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to be awake and I–” you hesitated.
“What?” Jimin prompted.
You wanted to tell him about your dream and about the weird memories you had of him back when he was a child. It just felt wrong to tell him since he was already going through so much and the emotions between you both were still raw.
“I just wanted to come talk. I couldn’t sleep.” You hugged yourself suddenly realizing the intimacy of how you were seated. Jimin was half naked and you were still on his lap. At first it didn’t register since you’d been upset, but being so close and feeling how worried and attentive he was…it made you nervous.
“Y/n. You can tell me anything. You listened to all of my trauma,” he reminded you.
You stood up and Jimin followed. It felt silly to be on the floor when there was nothing to be dramatic about. “Yeah. It’s actually stupid I even came. I shouldn’t keep bothering you especially when I said I needed time. I’m the worst at self-control.”
Jimin looked at you with a curious expression and tilted his head. “Y/n, you never bother me. It’s not stupid that you came. You can talk to me about anything. I’m actually so happy because I thought you were never going to talk to me again. When you said you needed time I felt my stomach sink.”
“No! I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s just…just that…like, what does someone say to everything you told me? I could never relate or find the words to soothe you. It’s still crazy to me that anything like this exists. I had no idea the government was doing things like this.”
Jimin motioned toward the small cot in his little space and you both sat down. You were back in the same place where you had just been talking hours ago, but there was still more to be dealt with. “Y/n, I have never had a friend. I have never had anyone to talk to about what I’m going through. You are just…so…it’s so freeing. I feel a little less heavy. Simply listening was enough.”
His hand came up to caress your cheek and the guilt of him being so kind and open to you while you were still avoiding conversation ate you up. You end up blurting out why you came.
“I had a dream that you tried to kill me...that you killed everyone. There was fire and there were so many people trying to hurt you and I was so scared…I—and James…like there’s not much to say…he’s nothing and…”
“Shhh. It’s okay.” Jimin closed in the distance and hugged you tightly. He buried his face into the crown of your head and closed his eyes. How had he let himself get so vulnerable? All of these years he’s been on the run and now suddenly he was starting to feel safe again, but he knew better. Whenever he settles anywhere things are cut short. It’s just that he was really hoping that this time he could have this…
“Please don’t cry, Y/n. You can tell me about James when you're ready. It’s this dream that I’m worried about.”
You lifted your head to look at him and then your eyes met. The longing and emotional need you saw there was palpable. How could Jimin be this kind when he’d been hurt his entire life?
“I know you wouldn’t hurt me, Jimin. I know it.” Your hands were on his chest, the closeness happening without you realizing. You wanted so badly for him to feel that you really did trust him—wanted for him to know that you would never betray him. He deserved to be treated like a human being. You tried to stop the tears from falling, but there was sorrow in them, a sorrow you assume came from feeling sorry for Jimin. It hit you all at once how he must be feeling and how you were the only person he actually trusted.
As you cried, Jimin held you tight, foreheads touching and lips so close you felt dizzy. Jimin hitched a breath at the proximity and you could visibly see him swallow. Before you knew it, your lips were on his and this time it wasn’t meant to soothe sadness, instead it was meant to fill the emptiness—to express apologies and a promise that you weren’t going anywhere.
This kiss didn’t take Jimin by surprise at all. He didn’t pause or slow down or even appear nervous. It was like he wanted this more than anything. He wanted you.
From his kissing before you could tell that you were probably his first, and it made you wonder whether or not he’d been with a woman at all since he’s always been on the run. You attempted a hand on his thigh and he jerked.
“S..sorry.” He whispered breathlessly.
“No. It’s okay.” You soothed with a gentle voice. “Can I ask you something?”
Shakily Jimin replied, “Yes.”
“Have you ever had a girlfriend before? Have you ever been kissed before… me?”
Jimin bit his lower lip and then his expression turned shy. “No. I never have. I never had time to…have a girlfriend. I wanted to, but it just wasn’t possible. Is that bad?”
Your lips barely touched his, but your words tickled over his own plump ones. “Oh God no. Not at all. It’s sweet.” You replied quickly not wanting him to feel any awkwardness or doubt. “Is it okay then, if I kiss you more and touch you here?” You motioned toward his thigh.
He nodded timidly. “Yes. It’s okay.”
Sliding closer, you pressed a little into his chest with your own and turned your head to deepen the kiss. You wanted it to be immediate, to lessen his reservations and allow him to feel comfortable. It worked because the moment your tongue entered his mouth, and your hand shifted up his thigh to squeeze it, he released a satisfied hum and you swallowed it entirely.
“Do you like this?” You knew what he would say, but you still wanted to hear him say it.
“Yes…” Jimin admits, voice wavering. You curl your hand into his hair to bring him back to your mouth.
“Okay. Good.” You couldn’t help yourself, the idea that Jimin was so worked up right now making you want to push some more. As you continued to kiss him, your attention turned to his sweatpants, the obvious tent there causing a heat to stir in your belly. Pressing into it with your palm, you felt exactly how much Jimin liked you, and it filled you with a feeling you’ve never experienced before. “I can help with this.” You offered and he trembled.
“Fuck.”
Jimin was doing his best to remain focused, but the way you ran up and down his straining length had him dropping his head back. “Okay..” he manages to croak out, and you watch the way his adam’s apple bobs.
Sliding a free hand behind his neck, you wind his locks into your fingers and tug his head toward you so you can kiss him again. This time the kiss is more fiery, teeth knocking slightly, pulling needy moans out of Jimin that causes a pleasure to spread throughout your body. Adjusting yourself, you straddle him, rolling your hips once over his hard cock enjoying the momentary relief it brings. But it’s not enough. Slipping a hand under his waistband, you caress his pelvis but Jimin pulls away suddenly. He’s shaking and he won’t even look at you.
“Are you okay?” You were genuinely concerned, noticing how Jimin’s entire face was heated. You couldn’t tell if it was because he was nervous or because he was so turned on.
“I—I’m sorry.”
“For what, baby?”
That word was enough to bring his eyes back to yours and the shame you saw in them made your stomach dip. “Was it too much? You have nothing to apologize for….I shouldn’t have—”
“No!” Jimin cuts you off. “It wasn’t you. It’s just I…” He looks down to his lap and that’s when you see the wetness there, the evidence of his orgasm soaking through his pants.
“It’s okay, Jimin. It’s really okay.” You lean in and kiss his nose trying to calm him, but he’s still pouting, so you bring him into a hug.
“I wanted to be good for you. I—,” he complains.
“But you were! This was your first time and you did so well. Look at me, Jimin.” You grabbed his face with both hands and forced him to give his attention. “You are perfect, okay? You turn me on so much. I feel just like you do.”
Jimin wanted to believe you, but the incredible shame he felt was hard to ignore. How could he be such a failure at this? It was his first time, and all first times were supposed to be special…or so he thought. He tried to nod in agreement but it didn’t come off convincing.
“Let me show you then.” Reaching down into your underwear, sliding two fingers past your folds, you collected some of your wetness and pulled it out carefully. You show Jimin, and his jaw drops.
“This is how much I want you.” When you go to wipe it away, he grabs your wrist before you have the chance. His eyes train on your two fingers, staring at the glossy yet sticky substance that coats the tips of them in awe. He wondered how it tasted…and then he opened his mouth and did just that.
You watched your fingers disappear into his mouth wide-eyed. For being inexperienced he sure seemed to know what he was doing. When he pulled back, lips thick and making a popping sound that had you clenching, he smiled wickedly and then opened his eyes back up. “Tastes…sharp…sweet…”
Not once did his stare falter as he shared this information, eyes locked onto yours. A heat bloomed over your face and you turned your head to the side attempting to hide your shame.
He let your hand go then and the tension in the room increased tenfold. You were still incredibly aroused and Jimin was just sitting there with cum staining his pants and the flavor of your cunt on his lips. He was really going to be the death of you.
“I think I should go now, Jimin.” You kissed him sweetly and stood up, knowing that if you didn’t leave now, you probably never would. The truth was you didn’t want to leave at all, but this was Jimin’s first experience with a woman and you didn’t want to overwhelm him. As much as you wanted him, you also wanted to be clear about what this relationship was. He was trusting you more than anyone and you didn’t want to violate that trust. You wanted him to know you were here to stay.
Jimin didn’t reply with words, simply nodding as if he too wanted you to stay. But he had to clean himself up and process what just happened. It was all so much and never had he imagined he’d be this intimate with anyone. He watched as you exited his tent, a plea for you to stay hovering on his lips, but he held it back. This time he felt more secure about whatever this was and he hoped you’d be willing to indulge him a bit. He wasn't exactly sure what this meant for him as far as staying in Asheville, but for now everything was safe, and he had hope…something he hasn’t felt in a long…long time.
PART THREE
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(Looks like Jimin is quite the curious boy! I love these two so MUCHHHHH! What do you think will happen?)
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