#sweetirony

And my mom laughed so hard we had to stop walking.

and the captain runs a real loose ship.

*bites inside of my mouth* Oh fuck!

When the young husband reached home from the office he found his wife in tears. "Oh, John," she sobbed on his shoulder. "I had baked a lovely cake and put it out on the back porch for the frosting to dry and the dog ate it!" "Well, don't cry about it, sweetheart," he consoled, patting the pretty flushed cheek. "I know a guy who will give us another dog."

He has a sign that says either way you get your dog back

My trick was being 23

Welcome to 🤡🌎🇺🇸 #TheTruthShallSetYouFree #TheTruthHurts #Pathetic #SorryNotSorry #SweetIrony #UnFuckingBelievable #FactsDontCareAboutYourFeelings (at Spook Rock) https://www.instagram.com/p/Clp-hqWA3E0h9I-JTpYrPhMr3kWbt-g7lJ9Mtg0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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