Eric Sadahire

Instead, have these guys.

If I was an invasive species, would you kill me for the good of the ecosystem, or would you love me so much that you'd allow me to ravage the Earth?

The teacher ponders for a moment looks up and down the river and yells back "My son, you are on the other side."

The president said Saturday that the U.S. Park Police had arrested Godzilla, who he alleged was vandalizing the Lincoln Memorial Deflecting Pool, which has been plagued with algae and peeling paint in the days since the administration completed a costly renovation. On a positive note, the pool paint lasted longer than the ceasefire in The Strait of More Ooze.

Doctor, "Because I'm trying to give you a physical right now."

This asshole fish decided to walk out of the water one day and now I have to go to work and pay rent

Go ahead and overthink all about your blessings, everything you're thankful for, everything that's going right, everything you're looking forward to. Because the more you allow good things to crowd your mind, the less room there is for anxious thoughts.

Devoting less time to social media will help you recover time you didn’t know you had, time you can spend on the stuff that makes you truly happy.

The world needs our art, the artists and the creators now more than ever. Less about getting attention but giving perspective and gifting something beautiful to the world. We heal together.

―George Orwell, 1984

Don't forget to freak out over something that you have no control over today

The biggest enemy of the US is not china or Russia but its peace. Because with peace the weapons industry would collapse, no more business.

I just learned that your cat dreams about you, and 95% of their memories are of your voice, your scent, and your cuddles. They replay the love you give them. The other 5% are about hunting you down, which have shown fierce body movements, indicating pursuit that lasted 1 or 2 minutes.

The fact that us, the only intelligent and sapient beetles on the planet, cannot seem to find any other traces of intelligent life. No smell trails that show clear communication patterns, just mindless carrying on. I guess we’re the only intelligent life in the universe.

4, You are deserving of love

Hummingbirds can remember every flower they've ever visited

And thought, "I'm not as hungry as I thought I was."