#svnet

you stared at him, heart pounding against your ribs. moonlight sharpened his features—the stubborn set of his jaw, the dark intensity in eyes, his pretty moles. “you could’ve texted or just called me, this is so unnecessary and unsafe. you could’ve seriously gotten hurt.”

“necessary,” he corrected softly, stepping closer. the scent of night air and sweat clung to him as he closed the distance. “missed you,” his voice dropped, rough around the edges. before you could protest, he buried his face in the curve of your shoulder, his breath hot against your skin. his arms slid around your waist, pulling you flush against him. you felt the hard press of his erection against your thigh, unmistakable even through layers of denim and cotton. a shiver raced down your spine.

“sunghoon—” you started, but his lips brushed your ear, cutting you off. “couldn’t sleep,” he murmured, the words vibrating against your neck. his fingers dug into your hips. “kept thinking about how sweet you taste,” you felt his heartbeat thudding against your chest, rapid and insistent. his hips shifted subtly, grinding against you with a low groan. the friction sparked heat low in your belly.

he lifted his head, eyes dark and liquid in the moonlight. “tell me you missed me too.” his voice was gravel, rough with need.before you could even answer, his lips are already on yours as he kissed you. hard, desperate. his tongue slid against yours. his hands slid under your shirt, palms hot against your bare skin. you gasped into his mouth, arching instinctively. he broke the kiss, breathing ragged. thumb circling your nipple through thin fabric.

his hips rolled against yours, the thick ridge of his erection grinding against your core. you could feel every inch through the layers. wetness pooled between your legs. his groan vibrated against your lips. “fuck, you feel that?” he whispered against your mouth. “what you do to me?”

you whimpered. he was everywhere—his scent, sweat and just him, filling your lungs. his hands slid down your back, fingers hooking into the waistband of your pajama shorts. he yanked them down your hips in one rough motion. cool air hit your bare skin. his palm slid over your ass, fingers digging in possessively.

sunghoon’s mouth crashed back onto yours. messy. hungry. his tongue pushed deep. you tasted mint and desperation. he walked you backward until your knees hit the bed. you fell onto the mattress. he followed, knees bracketing your thighs. his jeans scraped against your bare skin. he grinded down against your core. the thick ridge of his cock pressed exactly where you needed it.

he tore his mouth away, panting. “need you.” his voice cracked. fingers fumbled with his belt buckle as the metal clinked. he shoved his jeans down just enough to free himself. his cock sprang free, thick and flushed with precum glistening at the tip. he didn’t hesitate as he ripped your panties aside. the fabric tore with a sharp sound as you gasped. his fingers slid through your slick folds, spreading you open. he groaned. “so fucking wet for me.”

he positioned himself at your entrance. eyes locked on yours. moonlight caught the sweat on his brow. “look at me,” he commanded, his voice rough. he pushed in slow and deliberate. stretching you inch by inch. you cried out as he filled you completely. he paused, breathing ragged. “fuck. so tight.” he pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in hard. the bed frame slammed against the wall.

he set a punishing rhythm immediately. hips snapping forward. skin slapping skin echoing in the small room. his fingers dug into your hips hard enough to bruise. each thrust drove the breath from your lungs. he leaned down, teeth scraping your neck. “mine,” he growled against your skin. his thrusts grew erratic and desperate. you clawed at his back. nails digging into muscle. he groaned low in his throat. the sound vibrated through your chest.

“h-hoon, i’m close, nghh—”

“me too, fuck—” sunghoon’s voice shattered against your ear, his hips stuttering as he slammed into you one final time. his body locked, a low groan tearing from his throat as he spilled deep inside you, pulsing hot and thick. the sensation tipped you over the edge. your back arched off the mattress, a cry ripping from your throat as your climax crashed through you, white-hot and consuming. you clenched around him, milking every last shudder from his body as he collapsed against you, breath ragged and damp against your neck. 

for some moments, the only sounds were the frantic hammering of your hearts and your breathing. moonlight streamed through the open window, painting silver streaks across sunghoon’s sweat-slicked back. his weight was heavy, anchoring you to the rumpled sheets, the scent of sex and exertion thick in the air. slowly, his breathing began to even out, his fingers tracing idle, possessive circles on your hipbone where he’d gripped you hard enough to bruise.

he stirred eventually, lifting his head just enough to look at you. his dark eyes dazed in the low light. a stray lock of hair clung to his damp forehead. he didn’t speak, just watched you, his thumb brushing gently over your lower lip where he’d bitten it earlier.

you traced the line of his jaw, the question had been clawing at your throat. you took a shaky breath, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “sunghoon... what is this?” your voice was barely a whisper, raw from crying out his name. “are we... real? or am i just another one of your flings?"

his gaze sharpened instantly, the dazed softness vanishing. he pushed himself up on one elbow, looming over you. “you think this—” his hand slid possessively over your hip, thumb pressing into the bruise he’d left, “—is how i treat flings?" his voice was low, dangerous. “you think i climb through the windows in the middle of the night for anyone else? that i lose my fucking mind just by the scent of your fucking shampoo?”

he leaned down, his nose brushing yours as his breath hitched. “i don’t do relationships,” his voice dropped, rough and raw, stripping away all pretense. “but i can’t breathe right when you’re not near me. i see your face when i close my eyes. i crave your taste like its oxygen.” his thumb traced your swollen lower lip again “you’re not just some random fling. you’re the fucking exception that terrifies me.”

“Have you heard about the new family who moved into town? The son is a real piece of work!”

“He’s twenty-one but acts like he’s still sixteen on that damn motorcycle. No class or consideration whatsoever!”

“Maybe they’ll keep him in check if they decide to come to church this weekend. You know Reverend Park has no time for miscreants and delinquents.”

The familiar crowd on your mother’s front porch greets you as you’re attempting to exit the house. They cool themselves off with their makeshift fans and drink your mother’s homemade lemonade in the Saturday sun, continuing to harp on the locals in town that they’ve known for years.

Somewhere in their conversation, they drifted to the topic of the new family that moved in across the street. Three days was all it took for them to begin spouting their judgemental observations, every act from the new middle-aged couple and their son fodder for their discussion.

You smile politely with every fiber of your being, despite your instincts to snap at them and be on your merry way. If only they knew how ironic they are, pointing fingers at others from their high horses when the town kept enough space for their dirty little secrets. “Nice to see you this morning, ladies.”

They say your name with grace, their tones all air with little substance. “On your way to bible study?” Mrs. Choi asks, gazing at you from the rim of her glass.

You shake your head. “Just tutoring.”

“With the Nishimura boy? What a sweet kid.” When Riki’s name leaves Mrs. Lee’s lips, all the women hum in agreement. “Such a bright future ahead of him.”

“Of course, as long as he passes English,” you joke. The women’s faces don’t change, not taking your teasing with an ounce of anything but seriousness. The bags under their eyes, lipstick smudged in the tiny corners of their teeth, and piercing attitudes begin to damper your excitement for the day. You bid them goodbye quickly with another smile, walking down the stairs and onto the path down the street.

As you turn down the sidewalk, still hearing the resounding chatter from the women, your thoughts run wild. Is this what life would be like when you were older, doing nothing but kicking your feet up on a neighbor’s porch with only other people’s business to fill your time? Spending endless days and nights at church, listening to the same sermons leave Reverend Park’s lips until you become as overly critical as they all are?

The screech of tires halts your thoughts in their place. “Watch it!” A young man’s voice pierces the morning air, making you step back even further. You hadn’t realized how far you had walked into the road until you were back on the safety of the sidewalk. You trip on a crack between the two slabs of concrete, falling backwards and meeting the ground hard.

“Shit, are you okay?” He takes his helmet off, immediately hooking it to his handlebars to check on you.

Sim Jaeyun.

You had not met him formally until this moment, but the motorcycle and undeniable looks gave away his status as your new neighbor. Your parents had decided to let the new family settle in before trying to visit and introduce themselves. If they could see you now, your maxi skirt hitched up to your knees and the boy barely a foot away from you, they would have had a field day.

Sure, you both are of age. Butlike Mrs. Choi, Mrs. Lee, and other local townsfolk always do, people will talk about such a compromising position if you aren’t careful.

All those thoughts fade away though when Jake kneels beside you, his face flooded with concern. His eyes linger on the broken skin on your legs and then across your flushed face. “Does it hurt?”

You shake your head. “It’s barely a scratch. Sorry I almost ran into you.”

“More like almost ran into my bike.” He laughs, his expression one of relief as well as humor. “I’m just glad you’re in one piece.”

“Thank the lord.” You brush your hands on your skirt and begin to stand up, but Jake grabs you by the hand to help, taking all your weight with him.

“Thank you,” you say, brushing the free hair from your braid out of your face.

“You’re welcome.” He unclips his helmet from the bar and gestures back to his bike. “I can drive you to wherever you’re going if you want. I don’t have a second helmet, but–”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips, the thought of riding on the back of a motorcycle too ridiculous to envision given your status as the deacon’s daughter. What would people say?

Jake just furrows his brows, his lips turning up at the corners. “Is my offer that funny?”

“No,” you say, “I would love to, it’s just–”

“Sim Jaeyun!” The shrill sound of Mrs. Choi’s voice makes you take another step away from Jake, unaware you were as close as you were to him. His presence seems to be magnetic, just like his smile. “Stay away from her or so help me God!”

Jake turns to the old woman down the road and nods his head, trying to be respectful but clearly irritated from her meddling. “Yes ma’am,” he yells, stepping back and getting closer to his bike.

“Maybe another time,” Jake says, “when you’re not flocked by the whining wine moms.”

You laugh and nod. “Maybe.”

Jake rides away on his bike, the wispy ends of his hair your last picture of him before he makes a sharp turn at the end of your street.

“Why do I need to learn this?” Riki groans, laying his head flat against his desk. The church bells ring as he knocks his head in the same rhythm against the polished wood.

“Because you need to be able to interpret text if you want to go off to college, Nishi. Otherwise you’ll be illiterate and an embarrassment to the entire town!” You put on your best harping, disapproving voice. It makes Riki laugh as he lifts his head. You’re glad at least the younger kids appreciate your sense of humor, unlike the older brood flooding your hometown.

“Alright, fine.” He opens his copy of Heart of Darkness, beginning to read the page in front of him. “I avoided a vast artificial hole somebody had been digging on the slope…”

A knock on the classroom door makes you and Riki turn. Yeri opens it with a shy grin, saying your name with the same nature. “Someone’s here to see you!”

“Who?”

“Some cute guy on a motorcycle? But don’t tell Jungwon I said that!” She runs back out the door and leaves you puzzled. Surely it’s not Jake. You just met him; he wouldn’t make the effort to try and follow you to your tutoring session, especially at the church of all places.

You head to the window to see Jake sitting against his bike, looking around at his surroundings. He’s wearing the same leather jacket and gray jeans, his white shirt marked with several spots of sweat. Riki comes up behind you, making a sound of acknowledgement. “Oh, that’s Jake!”

“Jake?” You look closer. “I thought his name was Jaeyun.”

“Yeah, but I call him Jake.” He laughs. “He’s my cousin.”

You nod your head, taking in his words. Jake’s sudden move made a lot more sense, seeing as Riki’s mother was getting sicker every day. She must have needed some help from her family to not only manage her household, but make sure Riki stayed on track.

“He probably wants to see you. Yeri must’ve gotten it all mixed up.”

Riki grabs his phone, scrolling through texts with his thumb. “Actually, he did mention almost running over a cute girl on his way to work.” The young boy smirks. “I’m gonna assume that’s you?”

You blush, the flush on your cheeks making you feel hot. “Whatever. He’s probably just picking you up!”

“I brought my own bicycle, dude. And as cool as Jake is, his driving makes me nauseous.” Riki begins packing up his belongings on the desk as you wonder what Jake would want to say that hadn’t already been said earlier. Surely he had no interest in talking to you beyond another apology for almost killing you earlier, not that you would have noticed.

As your thoughts continue on, you barely hear Riki’s parting words. “Have fun making out with my cousin!”

You venture outside and are greeted to Jake’s soft smile as he looks you over. “Didn’t expect you to be teaching my cousin how to read.”

You laugh. “When would that have come up? Before or after I fell face-first on the sidewalk?”

“Technically, you fell on your ass.” He looks over the cuts on your leg again. “Still doesn’t hurt?”

“Barely remember it.”

“Damn. Didn’t realize I was so forgettable,” he teases. You shuck your backpack over your shoulder, pretending his joke didn’t land. But you can’t help how your mouth curves into a grin. “Wanna take me up on that ride now? I don’t see any wine moms in sight.”

Being clear headed and not in the midst of a compromising position, you take a better look at Jake. He may look rugged from the neck down, muscles standing out through his jacket, but his face is incredibly youthful and vulnerable without a touch of hardness. Maybe the wine moms had gotten it wrong; maybe Jake’s actually a stand-up guy bundled up in a lot of leather.

Before you can answer, your father seems to appear from thin air. He wraps his arm around your shoulder. “Mr. Sim, pleasure to meet you officially.”

Your father holds out his hand for Jake, and Jake takes it with a steadfast grip. “Nice to meet you too sir. My mother was telling me how much you’ve been helping my aunt since she can’t attend services anymore.”

“Akemi is a pillar of our church. It’s only right to take care of one of our own as the deacon.” Your father squeezes you tighter to his side. “Glad to see you and my daughter have met. I hope she’s made a good impression upon you.”

“Yes sir. Very much so.” He smiles in your direction. The dimple in his cheek makes your heart flutter in your chest, the butterflies undeniable.

“Well, please tell your parents to come to ours soon for dinner. It would be a pleasure.” Your father begins the quick walk to his car, the silent request for you to follow him clear in his stern posture. You give Jake an apologetic smile before you leave, hoping your eyes hold the promise of taking him up on that ride someday.

When you’re both out of earshot and in the confines of your father’s car, he turns to you with a frown. “Do not get yourself involved with that boy. He doesn’t strike me as very forthcoming.”

You stutter out an excuse. Surely the first day of knowing Jake wouldn’t be the last. “F-Father–”

“Listen to me, sweetie. I know what I’m talking about.” He starts the car and begins the drive home, tightening his fists on the steering wheel. “I mean it. Do not see that boy again.”

The next morning, you’re sitting in one of the front pews with your mother, Yeri, and her mother. You see your fellow townsfolk in attendance in the other pews, Jungwon being one of them, Yeri’s longtime boyfriend. Mrs. Choi and Mrs. Lee look like they are partially focused on the attendees, but also on their own gossip.

All of you are dressed in your best outfits, your hair wrapped in a bun to maintain the peak of modesty. It doesn’t seem particularly realistic for a higher power to be judging you for your hairdo, but you gave in to your mother’s ridiculous requests as always. “We are important people in this community, darling,” your mother said as she stuck the umpteenth bobby pin in your hair. “If they can’t trust us, who can they trust?”

Riki sits behind you, his pew empty save for him. When you offer the empty spot next to you before the procession starts, he shakes his head. “Jake and his folks will be here any second.”

Your gut tightens, the words of your father playing over in your head. You know you have to heed his orders at all times, but the excitement you feel at the prospect of seeing Jake is unavoidable.

A minute before your childhood friend Heeseung sits at the piano to play the beginning of How Great Is Our God, Jake and his family walk inside. Jake’s impeccably dressed, clad in a red dress-shirt and suit pants. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, revealing a handful of tattoos you didn’t notice the day prior. He has his mother’s arm in one hand and a bible in the other, looking completely out of place but incredibly mesmerizing.

He winks at you when he sits down, making you turn your head back to your friend at the piano. You follow in your mother’s and Yeri’s lead, singing alongside them and forgetting the new buzz in your veins. You can feel his eyes on you throughout the songs and sermons, and you should say that you don’t enjoy it, but you don't kid yourself. His attention makes your body tingle in all the right and wrong ways.

You excuse yourself in the intermission, walking outside until you’re a good ten paces away from the church. You take several pins out of your hair, grunting. The incessant tools had been scratching your scalp uncomfortably for the past three hours, and it feels like freedom taking them out one at a time.

It isn’t that you don’t believe in a higher power or the teachings your father and Reverend Park have supplied you with your entire life. The town is just too suffocating on days like these, setting you up to feel like you aren’t good enough no matter how hard you try every day to perfect yourself.

The fashion show of your humble, presentable outfit, the whispered chatter from your community, the watchful eyes of holy men. They all make your skin crawl, that itch only intensifying with every day that passes. How could you stay in such a small room for years and feel misunderstood by everyone? 

Jake saunters up to you, making you gasp in surprise. “Jesus Christ!”

He smirks, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I thought you weren’t supposed to say his name in vain.”

You shrug, smiling in relief to find it’s just him and nobody else. No-one to meddle, judge, or question your absence. “I’ll just say a few words of penance. I’m sure he’ll forgive me.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Jake chuckles and steps closer to you, his eyes lingering on your dress. It’s incredibly modest, the only skin showing high above your cleavage. but the look in his eyes still makes your nerves tremble.

 You wonder what thoughts are swimming in his head and if a majority of them are impure. Would it be so wrong to confess that you feel the same? That whatever he’s imagining mirrors your own fantasies ten times over?

“The updo doesn’t suit you,” he says finally.

You giggle and cross your arms. “It doesn’t, huh?”

He steps closer, so close you can feel his breath on your skin. It lingers across your neck and shoulder blades. You shudder, hoping he doesn’t notice how his presence affects you. He reaches behind you and takes hold of the hair tie keeping your bun together. He expertly undoes it, your hair falling in waves around your shoulders.

Before he walks away, the church bells signaling the recommencement of the procession, he whispers in your ear, “Much more breathtaking with your hair down, angel.”

The next time you see Jake, he’s across from you at your family’s dinner table, all laughs with Jungwon and Yeri as your father passes out the rest of the side dishes. Riki is also there, discussing his mother’s treatment with your mother and Jake’s parents.

You can’t help the way your eyes attach to Jake across from you. It’s almost a form of punishment that you were made to sit in such close proximity, the weight of his stare on you swallowing you whole.

The feeling of his hand in your hair, his mouth against your ear–it was all so incredibly inappropriate. You shouldn’t have thought about that day last week with such excruciating frequency, but you did. You thought about it when you heard the wine moms whispering about Jake on your porch, when Yeri and Jungwon talked about him as you studied, and when you were alone at night. 

In your dreams, it was even more painful. In a perfect world, he would take his hand from your hair and keep it on your neck, holding you close. He would move his lips from the shell of your ear to the side of your neck, kissing and tasting what skin was available to him in that moment to make you come undone.

Yes, sitting across from him is torment. But the alternative is worse, not seeing him at all and having to conjure images of him alone in the quiet of your bedroom.

“Deacon, sir,” Jungwon pipes up from his spot next to Jake, addressing your father directly. “I was going to study with Jaeyun and Yeri at my house if you wouldn’t mind your daughter tagging along.”

The muscle in your father’s jaw clenches. He’s clearly unhappy with one of the attendees being Jake, but he hides it behind a smile. “It’s up to her. What do you think, sweetie?”

On one hand, you should absolutely say no. Jake may take you into a random spot of Jungwon’s house and make any resolve you still have disappear with the flick of his wrist. Even in the company of your friends, you know no place is safe when he’s around and close to you. And were you willing to crumble so easily?

At the same time, the distance is eating away at you. You can’t take another charged glance in your direction, words unspoken but begging to be released. If you have to catch his bedroom eyes on your body one more time, you may just snap in front of everyone, and care little when you do.

“Sure. I’d love to, Wonie,” you say with a grin. “Nishi, you want to come too?”

Riki shakes his head, enjoying the fruitcake your mom set out. “I’ll stay. Someone has to help clean up.” Jake’s mom squeezes one of his cheeks. Riki’s face suddenly turns pink from his aunt’s affection, making everyone laugh.

On your way out the door, your father catches you by the arm. He whispers, “No later than midnight. Understood?”

On the cusp of 10 PM, you want to protest that time with your friends is already so limited, but you obey with a nod and walk out the door. 

When you get in the backseat of Jungwon’s car, Jake too comfortable beside you, you feel your body flicker to life. “So,” you say, “your house then, Won?”

Yeri and Jungwon laugh, a conspiratory look in both of their eyes. “We’re just gonna make a quick stop first.”

Kiss ‘Em Creek was the unofficial name of the lake that ran through your town, a spot for teenagers to spend a few hours alone with their friends or partners. It wasn’t scientifically-correct, but it stuck nonetheless, many of the locals taking advantage of the not-so-secret hideaway. What went on there you only heard about through Yeri and the wine moms’ conversations, their voices littered with disappointment and condemnation.

Jungwon parks his car and turns his eyes to meet yours in the rearview mirror, that scheming smile still playing on his lips. “Ready to take a dip?”

Your eyes widen. You shake your head at a rapid pace, making your friends and Jake chuckle. “No way,” you say.

“C’mon babe, live a little!” Yeri winks and exits the car, Jungwon hot on her heels. The two of them begin to strip to their underwear, eager to jump in the water together. Jungwon picks her up in a bridal carry, Yeri laughing the entire way as he takes the first step into the awaiting lake.

As the two lovebirds continue heading towards the water, you and Jake sit in comfortable silence, your heartbeat slowly rising at the prospect of being alone in the car together. No distractions, no disappointed parents, no judgemental hags. Just the two of you under a cloud of stars and beautiful moonlight.

“I didn’t know if you would come tonight,” Jake says, filling the silence with a quiet chuckle. “Thought you were avoiding me at all costs, like I’m some kind of plague.”

“No!” You turn in your seat to face him. His expression is teasing but holds undercurrents of disappointment, clearly confused where your feelings lie. And he has every right to feel that way. One minute you’re wishing he would pull you closer, and the next you feel it’s better he keeps his distance. “I just don’t know what your intentions are.”

His eyes darken and his lips curve into a beautiful but intimidating smile. “Is it not obvious?”

You squeeze your thighs together, a wave of heat spreading through your bones. “Maybe I just want you to say it out loud.”

He scoots closer to you, his chest a heartbeat away from yours. “Well, to start,” he says, “I would really like to kiss you.”

You smile. A breathless laugh leaves your lips, eager to know what it would feel like to touch his mouth to yours. “I’d like that too.”

Jake runs a hand through your hair and rests it on your cheek. His touch is as fragile as the tension between you. “Then what are you so afraid of?”

You shut your eyes, trying to come up with the right words and falling short. “It’s just everyone–”

“Fuck everyone else.” He forces you to look into his eyes, the words leaving his mouth being some of the truest ones you’ve ever heard in your life. “You’re not a bad person or a sinner for wanting what you want.”

“I know that.”

“You may know it but you don’t believe it.” Jake’s lips ghost over yours, his breath tickling your cheeks. “Stop thinking about what everyone else thinks of you. Think of yourself for once.”

Maybe Jake’s right. All of your choices in life have been dictated by what your parents, friends, and total strangers have felt. If you listened to your own heart, you would have left all of them in the dust by now, chasing what you really wanted far away from this place.

At the same time, you’re glad to be in this car with Jake. He’s so close to you, telling you to take the leap and choose yourself for the first time in a long time.

When you press your lips to his, the feeling of his mouth on yours soft and tentative, you know you can’t wake up tomorrow the same person. This choice will ripple into all the choices you make from this moment on, but you don’t seem to care.

All that matters is his mouth, taking more control and setting a fire deep in your belly. He presses his tongue to the juncture of your lips, diving inside without protest.

You moan into his mouth, feeling one hand firmly pressed on your neck as the other runs down your shirt to squeeze at your breast through your clothes.

“Fuck, tell me to stop,” Jake says with a heady whisper, still kneading your breast with his palm. “Tell me to stop if you don’t want this.”

You shake your head, moving closer to him to the point you’re halfway on his lap, legs intertwined with his. “So help me God, don’t stop now.”

He snickers, pecking your lips again. “You said his name in vain again.”

You roll your eyes as he chuckles into your neck. “That wasn’t the first thing on my mind.” You move your lips to his cheek. “Or the second.” They trail down to his neck, taking your fantasies and etching them into his skin. “Or third.”

“Fuck,” Jake curses, holding you tight against him. “You’re too good at this.”

You smirk. “Contrary to popular belief, you’re not the first person I’ve ever kissed.”

He laughs, the rumble of it vibrating against your mouth. “I don’t care as long as you keep kissing me.”

“Wasn’t planning on stopping.” By the time you reattach your mouth to his, you’re straddling his lap. His hands are nestled on the small of your back, wanting to inch down further but unsure where or what your boundaries are.

You take the initiative, suddenly bold, and put both of his palms on your backside. “If you wanted to touch my ass, you could’ve just said so.”

Jake licks his lips, his accent coming out in a husky whisper. “I want to touch you in a lot of places. Your ass just happens to be easily accessible right now.”

“Oh really?” You giggle. “Care to enlighten me?”

Jake sharply switches positions, your back against the expanse of the backseat as he towers over you. He rubs his hands across the outside of your thighs, eager but patient. “Gladly.”

He kisses your neck, suckling and licking with perfect pressure, making you whimper. “Jaeyun,” you say out loud, his name coming out like a question more than a statement.

“Use your words, angel. Tell me what you want.” His eyes pass over your face, your kissable lips and lust-blown irises. You’re too entrenched in him now to walk away from this car the same girl, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

It may end badly, crash and burn completely like everyone expects it to, but that’s the last thing you care about right now.

“I want you to touch me.” You take one of his hands on your thighs and place it over your underwear, its center damp.

“Jesus,” he says in wonder, rubbing his fingers against the cotton.

“You just said–oh,” you stop short when you feel Jake’s fingers against your clit. The sensation makes you buck your hips up into him, him discovering the bundle of nerves without trying hard. He’s clearly happy at the wetness he finds. He rubs your folds in the same fashion, biting down on his bottom lip hard.

“You feel so good already. So perfect,” he whispers, taking hold of your lips again with his own while he swirls his fingers in and around your essence. He switches between teasing your clit and rubbing along your pussy, his movements lewd yet graceful. Only when he puts a finger inside of you do you gasp and look at him directly, your eyes clearly giving away your fear.

“What’s wrong, angel? Did I do something?” Concern floods his face, but he doesn’t take his hand away.

“I’ve never gone this far,” you confess, looking to your side to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me.” He turns your head to face him again, fingers laying under your chin softly. “We can stop now if you want. I don’t want you to feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do.”

His response makes your heart clench. Most guys, you’d imagine, would be pissed off or pleading with you to continue on, to do what they wanted and enjoy the moment. That was how Jongseong was, pouting the entire time after you told him to pump the brakes on your makeout sessions.

Somehow, with Jake, it feels right to continue. You suddenly have no anxiety clouding your thoughts or expectations weighing on your heart. You kiss his lips tenderly and shake your head. “No, I want this. I want you.”

A cheshire-cat grin spreads across his face before he goes in for another kiss. He runs his tongue along the inside of your mouth as his finger slides across your folds once again. He plunges it deep inside of your heat, your body adjusting to the new sensation with surprising ease.

You thrash lightly underneath him, matching the tempo of his finger with abandon. He slips another digit in, groaning at the feeling of your soft, gummy walls becoming accustomed to him. “You’re taking my fingers so well, angel. ‘S fucking incredible.”

You gasp and feel the fire from earlier heightening in intensity, spreading from your belly into the other seams of your body. It makes your toes curl and your hand press against one of the doors of Jungwon’s car, needing something to clutch onto while feeling yourself losing what’s left of your control.

“Jaeyun, I think I–”

“I know baby,” he says, pressing his lips to your forehead. “You’re going to feel so good in a second, I promise. Don’t be afraid.”

His thumb makes contact with your neglected clit, rubbing in rapid motions as he pumps his fingers faster in and out of you. You suddenly become overloaded with pleasure; its immensity is something you’ve never felt before. You feel it coat the back of your mouth and take what’s left of your rational senses, your body moving on its own accord as you ride out what’s remaining of your orgasm.

You blush furiously when you come back down to earth, giggling like a schoolgirl as Jake kisses your sweat-drenched cheek. “That was…amazing.”

Jake chuckles, a smirk painting his features. “You’re amazing.”

You tuck your face in your hands, embarrassed but still enraptured by what you just experienced. He pulls one hand away, taking it in his own, his expression suddenly shy. “So, I guess this is the part where I ask you on a proper date.”

You laugh and sit up, placing your panties back around your hips and adjusting your skirt. “I would hope so!”

Jungwon and Yeri choose that moment to run back into the car, their hair drenched but their bodies properly dressed once again. Jungwoon looks at the two of you in the backseat and grimaces. “Not in my car, man!”

Despite the warnings from your parents and the wine moms, you and Jake had become inseparable within a month’s time. It took many late-night impromptu meetings and secret rendezvous to keep your relationship private, but you had succeeded thus far. And it only made the moments you both shared that much more special.

Riki had kept your secret, keeping his eyes out for any prying townsfolk and covering for his cousin and you if need be. Yeri and Jungwon also cheered you on from the shadows, hoping one day you could be public like they were without criticism.

Sitting in the field near the lake, a picnic blanket set across the grass, you have your head in Jake’s lap while he absentmindedly turns strands of your hair into miniature braids. It’s a beautiful Wednesday afternoon, the two of you occupying the resounding forest with no outside influences.

“Have I told you lately how beautiful your hair is?” Jake asks, kissing your forehead before he takes another batch of strands in his hand. If he has to pick one of your best attributes, in his words, he’d say it was a tie between your lips and your hair, the two of them constantly making his heart race. You called him a liar, but as time revealed, he was nothing but honest with you every day, and not just about what turns him on. 

Over time, you discovered his fears, his ticks, his aspirations past the small town you both found yourselves in. You admire his vulnerability, how open he is when sharing the thoughts that occupy his mind.

“At least three times already,” you tease, running your hand across his leg.

“It’s not bad to hear it a fourth time, right?” He plants another kiss to the crown of your head. He drops the braid he’s just made across your face, making you laugh.

“I’d rather hear how work went today,” you say, getting up to press your back to his chest, snuggling into him.

He shrugs, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “Not much to talk about. Working with roofs all day isn’t exactly exciting, angel.” 

You know Jake doesn’t want to work at his dad’s construction company for the rest of his life. However, it provides stability, and that matters a lot to him. He knows what it did to his aunt when Riki’s father walked out early on in his cousin’s life, and he wouldn’t wish that lack of support on anyone.

“At least you’re not running a tutoring center and a daycare in the same church,” you joke, your tone anything but humorous. The brood you dealt with every day was completely unlike Riki. They were kids that were carbon copies of their parents, children that would one day become exactly like their absentminded fathers and speculatory mothers. It put a taste in your mouth you couldn’t stomach.

You fall into steady silence, the uptick in both of your nerves ebbing away the longer you hold each other. Sure, Jake hates roofing as much as you hate disciplining whining toddlers and helping apathetic tweens with mathematics, but it doesn’t matter at this moment.

All that does is each other, enjoying the midweek sunset and the sounds of the birds flying overhead.

“What would you do if you were somewhere else?” Jake asks into the crook of your neck.

You grin, imagining a world of possibilities. The question never came up before, not from him or anyone else. It opens up a plethora of choices in your mind, but you narrow them down quickly, knowing what your heart truly desires.

“I’d like to teach,” you answer. “Really teach, maybe at a university. Something like poetry.” You turn to look at him, a newfound fire in your eyes. “Yeah.”

Jake smiles back at you, moving stray strands of hair from your shoulder to rest his head there. “I think you’d be great at that.”

“What would you do?”

Jake ponders the question, going over it in the same way you were moments before. You see realization wash over his features, and it makes you smile. “I think I’d write. Not literature or anything, but songs maybe? Teach music in the meantime. Still have to make money somehow, y’know.”

You giggle and push him down on the picnic blanket, running your fingers through his hair. “Sounds like a plan.”

He nods, sharing your happiness. “Maybe a kid and a dog can fit somewhere in that plan.”

Chuckling, you raise one eyebrow. “As long as I’m not having a baby out of wedlock, that sounds perfect to me.”

He turns you both over, covering your body with his and kissing you intensely. The passion runs from his body to yours, your heartbeats matching in their strong beats against your chests. “Perfect,” he whispers, his lips meeting yours once again.

It may be too soon to call it love, but you know you’re tiptoeing that line, and you wouldn’t mind falling headfirst on the other side of it as long as Jake’s there waiting for you.

“Are you sure they don’t know I’m here?” Jake asks, hesitant to walk up the stairs to your bedroom.

“It’s fine! They’re at a seminar all weekend with Reverend Park and his son, I promise.” You kiss his lips before running up to your room. Still on the fence, you hear his tentative footsteps trudging behind you.

Another few months rolled by, and your parents had softened to the idea of Jake being around more often. He showed up with his parents to church every Sunday, even if you both snuck off to make out in the backwoods when nobody was paying attention.

He’d stick around for the deacon’s sessions with Akemi, brightening her spirits with his guitar and a couple of songs to replace the ones she missed during normal processions. It helped that she seemed to be getting better, slowly but surely, with treatment and daily prayer.

When you heard your father call Jake a “nice kid,” you knew they were turning a corner in their relationship that you wished for since the night Jake kissed you in Jungwon’s car.

Now, that doesn’t mean they would be happy with finding him in your bed on a Friday night, but you’ve broken enough rules at this point. What’s one more?

“You’re trying to get me killed,” Jake jokes as you rip his shirt from his body, discarding the article of clothing on your bedroom floor. You sit on your bed and marvel at the muscles on his chest and stomach, all of it yours to caress and kiss at any time.

“Don’t worry, babe. I’ll follow you to heaven,” you tease, pulling him closer to kiss his body. Each press of your lips to his skin makes him tremble, cursing quietly to himself at the feeling.

“With the way you’re touching me, I doubt either of us will make it there.”

You giggle and link his mouth to yours. You moan when his tongue hits the roof of your mouth.

The intentions you had for tonight definitely involved numerous bouts of kissing, but the way Jake’s making you feel will certainly end up with his face or fingers between your legs. And as good as that sounds, you don’t want him derailing you from completing your mission.

There had been so many moments of him giving you pleasure up to this point, you wondered how he had stayed so composed and content after without expecting anything in return.

So, tonight, you decided to give him a bit of satisfaction, even if you’re walking into such activities without any kind of road map. Yeri gave you a handful of tips, but doing it for real is another beast entirely.

“Jaeyun, wait,” you say, taking his face in between your hands.

He looks up at you with eager eyes, wondering why you pulled him away from your neck. “What is it?”

“I want to take care of you this time.” You say, hoping your expression gives off the confidence you’re trying to portray. “I’ve never done it before, but—“

“And you don’t have to, angel,” Jake says with a dopey, relaxed smile. What on Earth and heaven did you do to find a guy like him?

“Please,” you beg, scooting closer to the edge of the bed. “I want to try.”

Jake’s conflicting feelings are evident in his eyes. Surely any man wants his girlfriend to go down on him with the same eagerness that you're giving him right now, but he doesn’t want you to feel obligated. 

In his mind, pleasure isn’t about some sort of trade-off. He makes you feel good because he wants to, not because it’s some duty he has to fulfill and expects to be paid back for later.

But, you asked so nicely and your eyes shine up at him so beautifully. He feels his resolve crumble enough to concede and do what you want.

You begin to unbutton his pants, your fingers twitching not from fear but excitement. When you pull down his jeans fully and see the outline of his bulge in his briefs, your mouth falls open slightly at the size.

Could it fit in your mouth if it was that big?

Jake chuckles and takes your hand to press to the gaping material covering him. “It won’t bite.”

You look up at him and begin to stutter, unsure how to continue once you take off his underwear. “D-Do you want me to use my hands first?”

“Whatever feels right to you, angel. I trust you.” He rubs his thumb across your cheek, and it calms all the nerves that came to the surface.

It’s in those three words that you find the courage to pull the remaining article of clothing off of him, taking in the sight of his cock in all its glory.

You gulp hard, trailing your eyes from the tip to where it adjoins to the rest of him. You’ve never seen one up close before, and you feel like you’re invading his privacy as you stare at it for another long minute. But who can blame you?

“It’s all for you, baby,” Jake whispers. “Do whatever you want.”

You feel a sharp pang of heat at the center of your thighs, his words spurring you on. You spit into your hand, as Yeri instructed, and wrap your hand firmly around Jake’s cock. With an easy but deliberate pace, you look at Jake directly to see if you’re starting off on the right foot.

And boy were you.

Jake hisses at the feeling of your hand encasing him, loving the tightness of your fingers as they continue sliding up and down his dick. He had envisioned this many times in the solitude of his bedroom, images of you and your beautiful body writhing underneath him enough to get him off. But those nights were nothing compared to this.

“Are you ready for my mouth now?” You ask timidly. Jake wants to laugh at how innocent you sound, the words coming so naturally off of your tongue.

“Yes, angel, please,” he answers, wanting to caress you by the hair and guide you down to his awaiting, leaking cock.

You move closer until you're an inch away from his tip. Flattening your tongue to take it into your mouth, you keep watching Jake’s face for the right signals.

His mouth opens, a satisfied whine leaving his lips. You feel a wave of pride at the fact he’s enjoying it so much, egging you on further.

“Your mouth feels so perfect wrapped around me,” he confesses. He soaks in the sensation of your lips and teeth softly running over the veins of his cock, your head bobbing across his length skillfully. How can an innocent and dutiful daughter like you give such mind-blowing head?

He can’t ruminate on the answer long, releasing a guttural moan as he feels his tip hit the back of your throat, the gag that rumbles from you making his cock even more sensitive.

“Angel, I’m gonna come soon,” Jake warns. “If you don’t want me to come in your mouth, let me know now.”

You look up through your lashes at him as you continue sucking on him with fierce passion, swirling your tongue across his tip. 

His hand is wrapped firmly in your hair now, fucking your face as softly as he can without forcing anymore of himself down your throat. When you take a hand to cup his balls, softly kneading them between your fingers, he’s done for.

He whines pathetically as his seed shoots inside your mouth. The taste isn’t particularly pleasing, but you milk it for what it’s worth to watch him fall apart so perfectly under your attention.

The orgasm rocks through him with an unshakeable amount of pleasure, his body completely helpless as he continues to spurt into your mouth. He can only hiss and whine as you continue to touch him, letting him come down fully and taking all of him without complaint.

Jake breathes in deeply when he gains clarity again, taking you in his arms and shoving his tongue deep in your mouth. “That was probably the best blowjob I’ve ever gotten,” he states, running his fingers over your face with adoration.

You scoff and roll your eyes, his words making you shy. “I doubt it, seeing as that was my first one.”

“It was!” Jake puts a hand on his heart. “Swear to the savior himself.” Before you can rebut, Jake takes your legs in his hands and moves you to the edge of the bed.

You wake up to the hard knocks at your bedroom door, the morning sun peeking out of your window to prove the previous night has long gone.

“Honey? What did we say about locked doors in this house?”

Your father’s booming voice makes you jump up from bed, smacking Jake hard on the shoulder and chest to wake him up.

“We had an odd feeling at the hotel, so we came home early,” your mother says as you shake Jake from his sleep.

“Ow, what the fuck,” Jake grunts, his voice not quiet enough to go unnoticed. You curse yourself and the reality in front of what’s about to happen, knowing full well your parents heard him on the other side of the door.

“Sweetie, who’s in there with you?” Your mother’s shrill but concerned tone makes you cringe. Jake’s eyes bulge in response, quickly leaping from the mattress to pull on his clothes in haste.

Just when you throw your dress from last night over your head and Jake buttons up his pants, your father slams open the door with his shoulder. Your parents gasp and yell at the sight before them, the man they began to grow comfortable with in a compromising position with their only daughter and precious child.

“What in God’s name is he doing here?” Your father asks no-one in particular, stomping towards Jake’s shirtless figure and yanking him by the neck.

“Daddy, stop!” You plead, scratching and clawing at his frame to pull him off of your lover.

Your mother begins blubbering, teary-eyed before you. “Oh honey, what did he do to you?”

“Nothing,” you scream. “Please leave him alone and let us be.”

“I told you to stay away from him.” Your father stares you down, eyes blazing with fury. “Not only did you betray me, but you betrayed the sanctity of your purity. It’s a disgrace.”

Jake coughs, your father’s hands tightening around his neck. “The only disgrace is the two of you holding her back, like she’s some weak bird in a cage,” he croaks. “She can make her own decisions.”

“You stay silent, you insolent pest,” your father growls, yanking Jake out of your room and down the stairs. By the time you and your mother make it out to the bottom step, your father has thrown Jake out and onto the porch.

“Stay away from my daughter, or you’ll have another reason to pray you don’t end up burning in hell.”

“Stop it!” You step in between your father and Jake, the latter putting on what’s left of his clothes. People begin to hover too close to your family home, suddenly entrenched in the scene playing out before them.

Jake kisses your forehead and walks away in the direction of his parked bike, unsure what else he can do unless he wants to truly end up six feet under. 

 Your father grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you in the direction of your porch, but you resist with all your might. “You can’t make me go back in there.”

“I am your father and you will listen to me,” he grunts, holding on tight.

“Daddy, I love him!” You scream as you yank your arm away from your father, your inner strength giving way. “If you can’t accept that, I guess I’ll just have to burn hell with him. Better than wasting another second here.”

You run toward Jake’s bike and sit behind him, cinching your arms around his waist. He smiles to himself, feeling the press of your chest to his back as he puts his helmet over his head. “Are you sure about this, angel?”

You nod furiously, not bothering to look back at your red-faced family. “More than I’ve ever been.”

All you focus on is his motorcycle rumbling to life before you speed away. Your hair blows in the wind as you both escape the horrified stares of the local vipers.

You end up at a motel on the other side of town, far away from the scandal that’s surely rocking your small community by now. The deacon’s daughter running away with the bad boy next door? What a tragedy!

You run inside to miss the upcoming rain, both of you shivering from the barrage of pellets that did land on your skin. You settle onto the mattress as Jake drops the small amount of belongings he had in his possession on the dresser.

He turns to you with quiet concern, arms splayed out on the furniture as he looks at you, searching your face for any lingering doubt. “No regrets?”

You shake your head, exhausted but glad to be out of that house. “None at all.”

He breathes out a sigh of relief and sits down beside you on the bed, rubbing your thigh with his fingers. “I’m sorry.”

Your brows knit together, confusion pouring over you. You take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers. “You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should be apologizing to you.”

 You feel tears build at your eye ducts, your voice suddenly growing thick when you recall the scene from an hour ago. “I’m sorry my father was so horrible to you.”

“Hush, it’s okay,” he puts his other hand on your face. He kisses your lips tenderly and gracefully. How did nobody else but you see he possessed the most kind nature of anyone you’ve ever known?

Jake moves his head, his lips curving into the smile that always takes your common sense away. “I love you too, by the way.”

Your confession from earlier hits you like a heavy rock, your eyes going wide and your face turning pale. “That wasn’t the way I wanted to say it.”

“Then say it now,” Jake urges, your face resting gently between his fingers.

There’s no fear or pressure when the three words leave your lips, only the feeling of a weight lifting off of your chest. “I love you, Sim Jaeyun. I love you with my whole heart.”

His face lights up, the words seeming to set aglow something deep within him. The only right reaction seems to be in the form of his lips attaching to yours in a passionate kiss, your shared love creating a beautiful path forward for the both of you.

He whispers his next words so lightly, you almost assume the statement is a figment of your imagination. “Marry me.”

You feel your face contort into a mixture of disbelief and elation, needing to hear him say it again for it to truly resonate. “What?”

“Marry me,” he repeats, his smile stretching across his face. “Marry me now, or in three months from now, or whenever you want. Just say you will.”

You exhale a breath of astonishment, unsure if he knows how much you want to say yes, to make this as real as it sounds on his lips. He leaves your side with a kiss to your temple to grab something from his jacket. 

He comes back in record time, standing in front of you and twiddling the black box in both of his hands with anxious fingers. “I brought it with me to your house last night, I just didn’t know how to ask then. But I do now.”

Like in all the stories you’ve read and movies you’ve seen in your lifetime, he sinks down onto one knee before you. You place a hand over your mouth as he opens the box, a ring with an opal-shaped diamond cushioned in the center.

“Would you please do me the honor of being my wife?” Those words on his lips, visibly shaken from his own question, make a thousand butterflies flutter inside your chest.

Months ago, if you knew then you would end up here, from the edge of the sidewalk to now, you would not change a single moment. The world had been so gray before, you didn’t know what it was like to step in the sun until he came into your life. What other answer is there?

“Yes, yes, yes,” you respond, tears flooding your eyes as he shakily places the ring on your finger. It fits just right, the stone at the center sparkling in the darkness of the motel room.

You kiss Jake’s lips with all the force your body possesses, certain there’s no better future than right beside him.

The feeling of the gold band around your finger makes Jake shudder as it touches his cock. Your body is nestled perfectly on top of his as you take what you can’t put in your mouth between your fingers.

He laps up your essence with his tongue, ecstatic to have his face covered in your juices and smothered if need be by your wet cunt. If people think wedding nights are magical, engagement nights have to be a step up.

“Fuck, Jaeyun, yes,” you roll your hips into his awaiting mouth, his tongue available for you to lay your slit onto. The expletive leaves your mouth like honey, the feeling fitting for such a dirty word.

He knows exactly how to make you fall apart and be put back together, and the thought of doing this for the rest of your life makes you want to cry again from the pure happiness inside your core.

Jake takes his lips off of your pussy and sits up. Before you can ask what he’s doing, he takes you into his lap on the bed and kisses you fiercely. You taste yourself on his tongue as he skillfully takes your breath away with his lips. When you part, he says, “Angel, I know we said we’d wait, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle not being inside of you.”

You whimper at his words and suddenly rock your center into the tip of his cock, making him groan in the process. “I mean—we’re just starting early, right?” 

Jake releases a joyous laugh and kisses you hungrily, his face in a constant state of ecstasy since you said “yes” hours ago. “Right.”

 The anticipation makes you even wetter, crawling to the head of the bed as Jake grabs a condom from the bedside table. If there was one thing he had promised, he swore he wouldn’t get you pregnant. Not yet, anyway.

He rolls the rubber over his cock before joining you on the bed, lining up perfectly with your center. He rubs his tip against your folds, biting his lip at how easily it gets coated in your essence. “Ready?”

You nod eagerly, a smirk filling the entire bottom half of your face.

He pushes the tip in, the pressure a foreign feeling you had never experienced before. It took time and practice to get used to the size of his fingers, but this is another level of fullness that takes your breath away.

Once Jake’s partially inside and gives you a moment to adjust, he asks, “Can I move?”

You nod your head, holding onto his shoulders for support as he begins to thrust inside of you. He loves to see his cock disappearing between your legs, your body eagerly taking him in and stretching itself out to accommodate him. He loves the way you whimper at the movement of his hips and the pleasure you’re receiving.

Better yet, he loves you. He loves all of you, from the nonsensical words you speak in your sleep to the wrinkle between your eyebrows when you get mad. You’re all his, and he’s grateful to be the only one you call yours.

“We may never leave this motel,” Jake says, his words breathy as he continues moving his hips. “I could stay inside of you for the rest of my life, angel.”

“I love you so much,” you say, inching your hand between your bodies to roll your clit between your fingers.

“I love you,” Jake says. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you like he wants to pour all of his emotions from his being into your soul, just so you know how deep his love for you goes.

It’s all so overwhelmingly beautiful, you feel the swell of your release cresting over you like a tidal wave. “Baby, I’m gonna come,” you whisper, your mouth open wide from the moans and cries you cannot suppress.

Jake groans and slams his hips into you harder, filling you to the hilt repeatedly. “Come, angel. Come for me.”

You cry out as the orgasm takes hold of your body, your fingers working on their own accord on your clit as you fall off the edge.

Jake stills not a second later, releasing into the condom and taking the last remnants of his energy to thrust inside of you a few more times.

He pulls out and throws the rubber in a nearby trash can. His sweaty body clings to yours, hands rubbing up and down your arm tenderly as he kisses the curve of your shoulder.

You see the flash of your ring in the glow of the motel’s neon sign, and you think about how the night could not have gone any better.

Jake may be a bit reckless and not what you initially imagined for your future, but now that you have him, you wouldn’t give him up for anything. All the parts of you that stayed buried for so long have resurfaced because of him, and you could not be more grateful.

With your left hand a touch heavier than it was some hours ago, you fall asleep to the sound of the rain hitting the window and Jake’s rising and falling chest.

You walk out of your mother’s house, happy to have made a visit with her before she ran off to do her morning errands.

What you’re not pleased to encounter is the same crowd of women huddled with their homemade fans and cups of lemonade. They weren’t there when you arrived a few hours ago.  Of course they show up when you have no chance of escaping them, like the vultures they are.

“Mrs. Sim,” Mrs. Choi says, her tone entirely made of stone with little warmth. “Pleasure to see you.”

Your new surname gives you indescribable amounts of happiness. It took your parents some time to get used to, but eventually, they realized you put your heart in the right place. Your father took his sweet time getting there, begrudgingly admitting a short time ago Jake is a very acceptable son-in-law, the turnaround of his perception of your husband complete.

You give the crotchety ringleader a fake smile and attempt to walk away, but Mrs. Lee interjects. “How’s your mister doing working at the church now?”

“Great,” you say, genuinely happy to talk about a topic you care for. “Jaeyun loves the kids. Little Yuna might actually be a guitar prodigy from what he’s told me.”

They all coo, practically synchronized in their sips of lemonade and fan flurries.

“Soon enough you’ll have one of your own, I’m sure,” Mrs. Choi remarks with sarcasm, her red-lipstick-stained front teeth on full display.

“Not too soon now,” Jake suddenly says, walking up the pathway to your mother’s house and taking you in by the waist. “My wife has to finish her Masters first. How else is she gonna start teaching at the community college?”

My wife. No matter how long it’s been since you officially got married in your church, that day a year ago forever ingrained in your memory, it still warms you to the bones hearing those words leave Jake’s lips.

The women all express signs of agreement, some nodding while others hum.

“We better get back home now, but you ladies have a nice day!” Jake bids them goodbye and walks you both down the stairs with his hand on the small of your back. Even if he were to be more than the perfect gentleman in front of them, they would still linger around with pesky eyes and constantly moving lips.

“They’re still betting we’re gonna crash and burn, aren’t they?” Jake whispers, teasing you with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

You shake your head. You fall more in love with him every day that passes, no matter what the people around you do or don’t see. They may have their opinions, but it won’t shake the foundation you’ve built. “Well, they’re sure to be disappointed if I have anything to say about it.”

Jake’s eyes widen, his expression humorous yet surprised. “Easy, angel. Don’t want to have to tear my wife off of a nosy wine mom.”

Your heart aches at his words, him fully aware of what two of them in particular do to you. “I love you.”

Jake grins, inching his face closer to yours. “I’d love nothing more than to kiss you right now, but what would everyone say?” He asks with a mock face of horror.

You shrug without much care, grinning. “Someone once told me ‘fuck everyone else.’ And right now I couldn’t agree more.”

Jake laughs before he places a gentle kiss to your lips, the sun radiating off of him in waves as he pulls you closer.

No matter what anyone in your small town has to say, your choices are yours; you’re perfectly happy with how your life has turned out whether they think so too or not. And you will always choose Sim Jaeyun, now and forever.

@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 ౨ৎ˚₊

@kvanity-main @sweetvenomnet @onedoornet @sayxonet @violetanet @svthub @whipped-kpop-creators

The storm outside mirrored the one inside.

Rain streaked down the tall apartment windows, tapping a soft rhythm against the glass as the city lights bled into blurred patterns in the distance. The warmth from the room’s dim lighting did nothing to thaw the cold war unraveling between you and Jake.

It started earlier that evening—one of those subtle jabs wrapped in charm he always assumed you’d laugh off. But this time, the laughter didn’t come. Not when he called you “moody with a superiority complex” in front of your friends. Not when he added, “She always gets pouty when she doesn’t get the last word.”

You swallowed the sting in silence, smiled through clenched teeth, and excused yourself early.

Now you were sitting on the couch in his hoodie, legs crossed tightly beneath you, arms folded like a barrier. The air between you two was sharp—too quiet, too charged. Jake had been pacing the apartment for an hour now. Every so often, you’d catch his eyes on you, waiting for you to speak, to break the wall of silence he’d built and you had reinforced. But you didn’t.

And that’s when he approached.

“You’re still mad at me?”

His voice came low, almost gentle—but it wasn’t an apology. No, it was calculated. Testing.

You didn’t look at him. Didn’t answer. Just narrowed your eyes at the TV that you weren’t even watching, and crossed your legs tighter, ankles pressing together like a clamp.

Jake’s breath hitched slightly, a sound so small anyone else would’ve missed it—but you didn’t.

Then came that laugh. That dangerous, soft, cocky sound that meant he wasn’t backing down.

You felt the tension spike the moment he stepped between your knees.

His frame towered over you, his body warm and close. Too close. You hated how aware you were of him—the way your pulse quickened, the way the air shifted with his presence. You didn’t move, though. You didn’t even blink, staring straight ahead with a defiant tilt to your chin.

“You cross your legs like that again,” he murmured, voice husky and low, “and I’ll take it personally.”

You finally looked up, meeting his gaze dead on. His eyes darkened. His lips curled.

He leaned in slowly, deliberately. His mouth brushed against your cheek—not quite a kiss, just enough to steal your breath and set your skin on fire.

“Wanna know what I see when you’re like this? All pissed off and silent… glaring at me like you’re two seconds away from slapping me?”

“Soaked through your panties?”

The words landed like thunder.

Your lips parted on reflex, a silent inhale as the heat between your legs twisted into something dangerous, something aching. You hated him for saying it. Hated him more for being right.

Jake’s hand slid along the side of your thigh, thumb pressing into the soft flesh as his voice dropped even lower.

“My favorite meal.”

Your body betrayed you, shivering lightly under his touch. He noticed. Of course he did. He always noticed.

But still, you refused to give in.

“Get out of my face,” you muttered, eyes sharp, nails digging into your palms.

Jake tilted his head, smirking like you just dared him to ruin you.

“No.”

The word was quiet. Absolute. He reached for your chin, gripping it gently but firmly, tilting your face up to him.

“No, because you don’t get to look at me like that and not mean something by it.”

He locked eyes with you and continued.

“You don’t get to sit there in nothing but my hoodie and those tiny fucking shorts, lips all pouty and crossed legs like you’re trying to hide what I already know.”

His thumb grazed the corner of your mouth.

“You’re mad, yeah.” He nodded. “But you’re not mad enough to stop me, are you?”

Your silence answered for you.

You could’ve shoved him away. Could’ve stood up, walked out, thrown his words back at him. But instead, your body leaned toward him, helplessly, involuntarily. Like gravity had chosen for you.

His hands moved, one sliding under your hoodie, fingertips ghosting over your bare stomach, drawing slow circles over your skin.

“You’re warm,” he murmured. “Burning for me, huh?”

He let the fabric ride up just enough to reveal the curve of your hips, his knuckles brushing the band of your panties. You flinched. Not away—from him.

He dipped his head, breath hot against your neck as he kissed the skin just below your jaw.

“You fight me so hard,” he whispered, “but every time… you want me to win.”

You swallowed hard.

“Fuck you,” you breathed.

Jake chuckled darkly.

“That’s the plan.”

And just like that, his lips were on yours—hot, greedy, consuming.

You gasped as his hand slipped lower, fingers tracing both your shorts and the soaked fabric between your legs. He groaned at the feel of you, pressing his forehead to yours, eyes burning.

Jake’s fingers skim your inner thigh again, slow, teasing strokes with barely any pressure, just enough to let you know he’s there—fully, deliberately there. His veiny hands are warm, rough from the gym, and they leave a lingering trail across your skin that makes your stomach tighten. He’s crouched low between your parted thighs now, eyes locked on yours, gaze half-lidded, dark and focused like you’re the only thing that exists.

You’ve never seen anyone look at you like that. Like you’re not just something he wants— you’re something he needs.

His fingers drift higher, brushing over your clothed heat, and he feels it—the wet spot that’s darkened the thin fabric of your panties. A breath leaves his chest, sharp, and it punches softly against your already overheating skin.

“Goddamn, baby,” he murmurs, voice low, awed. “So wet, and I haven’t even touched you properly yet.”

Then he does.

He slides your shorts and panties at once to the side and strokes one thick finger slowly through your folds. Bare skin on bare skin. The contact is so gentle, so light, it drives you crazy.

Your head tips back slightly, a quiet sound slipping from your lips as your legs twitch in reaction.

“Look at you,” he says, a soft grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “So tense, all worked up, still pretending like you’re not gonna fall apart on my tongue.”

His fingers move again, a little more pressure this time—coaxing, not giving. Your breath catches in your throat when his thumb brushes lightly over your clit. He watches the way your lips part, your brows furrow.

“Say it,” he whispers, leaning in so close his lips graze your ear. “Say you want me to make you fucking cum all over my hand.”

Your jaw clenches. You still want to fight. Still want to cling to the last shred of pride. But he slides his thumb in a slow circle, dragging it over your swollen clit just right.

You gasp, sharp and helpless.

“G-go t-to…” you try, but his thumb presses down, harder, right as he flicks his tongue out and drags it through your slit, and the words crumble.

“Go t-to h-hell…”

Jake lets out a low chuckle against your skin, one hand gripping your thigh tighter, holding you open. He glances up at you with a wicked smirk.

“You say that like I’m not already worshiping you like a fucking altar.”

And his fingers curled under the band of your shorts and panties, pulling them down in one go as he looked up at you like you were something divine—and devoured you.

His mouth finds your clit with laser precision—hot, wet, eager. He licks once, long and slow, tongue flat against you like he’s tasting you for the first time and wants to remember every second. You gasp, back arching slightly, hands flying to grab the couch cushions—but he’s just getting started.

His lips close around your clit, sucking it gently, then with more pressure. His tongue flicks and circles with practiced rhythm. His big nose presses just beneath, his entire face buried in you, eating you like he’s been starving for days.

“F-fuck—Jake—” you breathe, voice cracking.

You reach down, fingers tangling tightly in his thick, dark hair. You grab fistfuls of it, hard, tugging without mercy as your hips buck against his mouth. He groans at the sensation, the vibration rolling right through your clit, and it makes you whimper aloud.

Your head tips back hard against the cushion, jaw slack as his tongue works in slow, intense laps, the heat building fast in your belly, coils tightening with every sound he makes.

Then, he shifts to slide his middle fingerinside you and you jerk, your whole body shivering at the sudden intrusion—not because of the stretch, but because of the cold metal.

He’s still wearing his rings.

You moan sharply, hips jerking as the chill of the metal presses against your overheated, soaking warmth. The sensation is so jarring, so deliciously wrong that your hands tighten in his hair again.

“Holy fuck—J-Jake—”

He doesn’t stop. He grins against your cunt, the corner of his mouth curling upward as he moves his finger deeper, curling it perfectly to graze that spot inside you that makes your legs shake. The ring rubs just right—cool against your heat, sharp against the softness of you.

Then comes the second finger—his ring finger—just as slow, just as cold. You cry out, a sound torn straight from your throat as your back lifts from the couch. Jake groans, tongue flicking at your clit again as he scissors his fingers inside you, stretching you open, working you in tandem with the relentless strokes of his tongue.

“You like that?” he murmurs between licks, lips slick, chin soaked with you. “Like my long fingers and rings fucking you open?”

You nod, breathless, shameless. Your legs are trembling now, muscles locking and releasing with every thrust of his fingers.

You’re unraveling beneath him.

Every muscle in your body is tight, breath stuttering in your chest as Jake’s fingers thrust deeper inside you, curling with devastating accuracy. Your legs tremble, and your moans come out broken, high, involuntary. You can’t stop clenching around him. You can’t stop wanting more.

But suddenly—he stops moving.

Not completely. He doesn’t pull out, just pauses, his fingers buried to the knuckle inside you. And then… he stands.

His hand moves from your thigh to the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair, tugging gently—no, guiding you upright. Your head was thrown back in the bliss of it, lips parted and glazed over.

He tilts your face toward his, holding your gaze like it’s the most important thing in the world. His forehead presses to yours, breath hot against your lips. You’re panting, he’s not even kissing you, just holding you there, eyes locked to yours while your body is stretched open around his fingers.

“Look at me,” he murmurs, voice hoarse. “I want to watch you come apart.”

Your lips tremble. The closeness is dizzying, his scent, the heat of him, the calm fury in his dark eyes. You feel everything: the pressure inside you, the pulse of his thumb just barely brushing your clit, the tension in your thighs, the ache for release.

And then, he starts to move again. But slower. Deeper. His fingers twist with each thrust, and the heel of his palm presses up against your clit. His movements are precise, intentional. He’s not trying to tease anymore.

“Ri—Right there—Fuck Jake…,” and a little smile appeared on his face.

“Right there?” “Hm?” in a low, and raspy voice.

He’s trying to make you lose control.

“You’re close,” he whispers, lips brushing yours but not quite kissing. “So close, baby. You feel that? You’re right there.”

And then he hits it, that spot. Over and over, relentless. His fingers thrust faster now, wet and obscene, and your body starts to tremble violently.

“Jake—Jake, I—” you choke, eyes wide, desperate.

Your body locks up, trembling from head to toe. Your thighs try to snap closed, but his body keeps them spread. You can feel it building, faster and sharper than before, pressure spiraling until it has nowhere to go.

“Don’t fight it,” he growls. “Let go. I want it. Right here, on my fucking fingers.”

And then it happens. Your back arches, hands flying out to grab his shoulders, digging your nails into his back as a broken sob of his name leaves your lips.

You squirt.

Warm release gushes out of you, soaking his hand, dripping down your thighs, and Jake groans like he’s never seen anything hotter in his life. He holds your forehead to his, watching every twitch of your face, drinking in your unraveling like a man who’ll never get enough.

But he doesn’t stop.

Before you can recover, before your breath even returns,  soaked fingers slide right back inside you. The sensitivity is blinding. Your hips jerk, thighs shaking uncontrollably.

“Jake—too much—” you whisper, voice barely there.

But he shushes you with a kiss to your cheek, hand still cupping the back of your head gently.

“You can take it,” he murmurs. “You can do it, hm?”

His palm grinds against your overstimulated clit, and you cry out again, body lurching with every wet thrust of his fingers. He fucks you open with steady rhythm—deep, unrelenting, skilled. His fingers curl inside you again, and the metal of his rings hits that same sensitive spot, making your breath hitch.

You’re already so raw, so open, so goddamn ruined.

But Jake keeps going. And the worst part? You want it. You want more.

“You’re shaking,” he murmurs against your ear, licking a stripe up your jawline as his fingers piston into you. “But you’re still fucking taking me.”

You gasp, hands flying to his arms, nails digging into the sleeves of his shirt as you grip him like a lifeline. Your entire body pulses around his fingers, helpless against the stretch, the pressure, the unbearable pleasure that builds again.

“You gonna cum again for me, baby?” he whispers, voice wrecked. “Gonna let me make you lose it one more time?”

You nod frantically, tears welling in your eyes from the intensity. He watches you break, his expression dark and starved, possessive.

“Good girl.”

He kisses you then—finally. Hard and deep and messy. Tongues tangling, lips parting as you both moan into each other’s mouths.

Your orgasm crashes again, ripping through you without warning. This one is louder, messier—your legs thrash, your hands claw at his arms, your body convulses around his fingers until you’re gasping into his mouth. 

And still, he doesn’t pull away.

He slows just slightly, just enough for you to breathe, but his fingers stay inside, buried to the hilt, flexing gently as you ride out every last shiver.

Your chest rises and falls in shallow waves, lips parted, throat raw from the sounds he’s torn out of you. Your forehead presses to his, barely able to hold yourself upright as he whispers something low, wrecked, like praise against your cheek. And even then, he doesn’t move.

He lets you fall apart around him completely. He holds you through it. Waits until your body softens, until the spasms ease and your walls stop fluttering greedily around his fingers, until your weight begins to slump, boneless, against his chest.

Only then does he shift, slowly. Intentionally. His fingers drag out of you in a long, aching slide.

The wet sound of it is quiet but unmistakable. You shiver as the air kisses the sensitive skin he’d just worshipped, and your legs are still parted, your body still open, soaked, and pulsing from the aftermath.

Jake’s forehead is still pressed to yours.

His eyes: dark and glassy with hunger, but softer now, never leave you as he lifts his hand. The same hand that had been inside you. His fingers glisten in the low light, coated in everything you gave him. 

And without a word, he brings them to his mouth. His lips part, tongue flicking out to taste you. One finger, then another. Slow, sensual, obscene in its reverence. He licks them clean like he’s savoring every drop, because he is.

His brows knit slightly as he hums, eyes fluttering shut for a second, before opening again to lock on yours.

“Fuck,” he whispers against your mouth, breath hot and reverent. “You taste like sin.”

You let out a shaky breath, heart still hammering from what he just did to you. From what you let him do. From what you wanted. Needed.

Then, his fingers slide down again—this time just a light, lazy stroke over your clit. Barely there. Just enough to make your thighs twitch and a tiny gasp escape your lips.

“Still so sensitive,” he murmurs, teasing, but gentle now.

His forehead stays pressed to yours, grounding you both as your hands move to his chest, clutching his shirt, needing the contact, the closeness.

There’s silence for a moment. A kind of peace in the storm. His thumb draws small circles on your thigh, and yours grip him like you’re scared he’ll slip away if you let go.

Then, his voice breaks the silence—soft, raw, sincere.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, fingers still moving slowly inside you, careful now, reverent. “About what I said earlier… in front of everyone.”

Your eyes flutter open, meeting his. There’s something in them—something new—a vulnerability that wasn’t there before.

You swallow, voice trembling but steady. “Why did you have to say it like that?” you ask quietly. “Like I’m some joke, some problem to laugh at?”

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” he continues, voice husky. “Not about you. Not like that. Especially not when you were already hurting.”

He shifts slightly, pulling his hand free but keeping it close—resting it lightly against your thigh. His gaze never wavers, his expression open, stripped of the usual cocky edge.

“I was wrong to embarrass you,” he admits quietly. “To call you moody with a superiority complex, like it was some joke. Like it didn’t matter how it made you feel. I forgot that words can cut deeper than any fight.”

You swallow hard, heart tightening at the honesty.

“I’ve always thought you could take it,” he says, eyes flickering with regret. “That you’d laugh it off. But I see now that it wasn’t funny. It was cruel. And it wasn’t fair—to you or to us.”

He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your face. His breath fans over your skin as he murmurs, “I don’t want to be the reason you feel small or less than. You’re the smartest, fiercest person I know. And the last thing I want is to make you feel anything less than that.”

His fingers find your hand, intertwining with yours like an unspoken promise.

“You don’t have to be ‘all pouty’ to get my attention, you know.”

A slow, tender smile curls at the corners of his mouth. “You already have it. Always.”

You lean in, resting your forehead gently against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your skin. The world quiets around you, and for the first time that night, the weight inside your chest eases—just a little.

2025 WIP LIST

@heegyukeluv @laurradoesloveu

Great. Only one pair had been named, and you already felt like you were going to be left with someone who would leave you with 90% of the work. Puffing up your cheeks, you glance around the room before quicking looking down at your desk when you meet the one person’s eyes that you had been trying to avoid, Sunghoon. He looked so smug—like he didn’t give a shit about who he was put with, because it honestly didn’t matter. He knew he wouldn’t fail, and he probably wouldn’t have to do a damn thing. This would all be fine as long as you didn’t get put with—

“Park Sunghoon, you will be with Y/N Y/L/N.” 

Letting out a deep breath, louder than you mean to, you meet your professor's eyes just before he looks down at his clipboard and purses his lips. “I think honestly this might be the perfect group for a third, so I’m going to add Choi Soobin. You don’t mind, do you, Mr. Park?’ 

Of course your professor had only asked Sunghoon if he minded. What if you had an issue with it? Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Soobin glances from the professor at the front of the room towards you and then Sunghoon as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 

“It’s whatever. I can make it work.” 

“Perfect, I knew I could count on you.” 

The sound of your professor's voice is almost muffled as he continues to call out names, Hwang Yeji being paired with Ning Yizhuo and Park Jongseong with Julie Han. None of them mattered because you could feel eyes on you and were too nervous to look up and see who they belonged to. 

“That’s everyone. Now, take the rest of the hour to get acquainted and make a plan for your project. Remember, I want a detailed business plan that I would actually want to put money into. This is 75% of your grade. I expect results.” 

Finally looking up, you are relieved to see the room moving into action and no one staring at you. It isn’t until Sunghoon lifts his brows and slides from his chair, picking up his bag, that you feel your heart in your chest. You hadn’t spent much time with him before. He made you nervous—he made almost everyone nervous. 

Sunghoon’s father was the CEO of some multimillion-dollar company, and he didn’t even need to be here, except his father wanted him to prove he could take the reins when the time came. Everyone knew that Sunghoon resented the decision, and while he was a genius—truly brilliant—he barely did any of the work and still managed to pass with flying colors by magic every single time. 

The other side of Sunghoon was the one that you knew just by reputation. You didn’t have time to party. While some got their way here on their parent’s money, you had gotten in on a scholarship and had to keep your GPA where it was or risk your full ride. You heard about the parties every weekend; you had been invited—but you had stuck to your dorm almost every time. Sunghoon, on the other hand, did not. He hosted the parties and kept putting notches in his bedpost from what you had been told through the rumor mill. 

“Dude, shit or get off the pot. Are you sitting on this side of her, or am I?” Sunghoon’s voice made your cheeks heat up as you looked up to watch him and Soobin stand in front of your table. 

Soobin was, as far as you knew, the polar opposite of Sunghoon. He was quiet and reserved—more like you. His family was wealthy, and you knew that he probably didn’t need to be here either, but from what you had gathered, he chose to be here, like he had something to prove. 

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Soobin narrows his eyes at Sunghoon and sighs before sliding into the chair on your left, leaving the right side open for the other man. He had never gotten along with Sunghoon. They had been in almost every single class together since day one, and somehow Sunghoon always was top of the class. It didn’t matter how much work Soobin put into something; Sunghoon’s smug ass was always one step ahead. 

“Hey, Y/N. We, uh—we haven’t talked much. Excited to do the project with—” 

“Oh my god, obvious much?” 

Sinking down into the chair on your right, Sunghoon rests his arm on the back of your chair and looks around you at Soobin, cutting him off. Meanwhile, in the middle, you felt small as the tension built between the two. Clearing your throat, you lean forward to grab your notebook and pen in an attempt to clear the air. 

“I’m excited to do the project with you too, Soobin.” Glancing towards him, you quickly look at Sunghoon, finding that it feels like a mistake as he meets your eyes with a smirk. “And with you too, Sunghoon, you know… of course.” Your mouth feels dry as Sunghoon’s smirk widens into a smile, his eyes moving over your face and dropping to your lips before he nods and furrows his brows in a teasing manner. 

“Oh, I’m sure. You look thrilled, princess.” 

Opening your mouth, you quickly close it as Sunghoon calls you princess, managing to fluster you even further. “I—no, I am. I mean—I just…um.” Shaking your head, you drop your pen onto your notebook and fish your cellphone from your purse as you swallow hard. “We should probably exchange numbers or something. So we can plan a time to meet and work on the project.” 

Nodding, Soobin straightens his back as he furrows his brows, trying to keep his head clear as you struggle so much with your words. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was excited to work on the project with you. You had caught his eye weeks—maybe even months—ago and now he had a reason to talk to you, if he could keep Sunghoon’s claws off of you. 

“Yeah, sure. Uh—” Smiling as you turn towards him, Soobin watches as you put his number into your phone; your thumbs quickly move over the screen before you tilt your head and meet his eyes. 

“What emoji do you want?” Up close, Soobin was even more handsome than you realized. You weren’t stupid; you had looked at him and at Sunghoon before. While Sunghoon was a dangerous sort of sexy that made you both terrified and excited, Soobin made your stomach feel warm and tight when he smiled at you. 

“Emoji? Do I need one?” 

Sighing, you give Soobin an exasperated look as you scroll through the emoji’s landing on the smiley face with glasses. “Everyone needs one. You can’t be the only one without one in my phone, Soobin.” 

“Are you gonna pick one out for me, or do I get to pick?” 

Sunghoon’s voice causes chill bumps to erupt along your skin as you press your lips together and turn back in your seat to face the front of the room. “Uh, no, you can pick. I mean, unless you just want me to pick.” 

Grinning at how flustered you seem every single time you talk to him, Sunghoon raises his brow and glances down at your phone as you put his name in and wait for him to tell you his number. “You can call or text anytime.” Leaning his arm back on his own chair, Sunghoon tilts his head as you go back up to his name and start to scroll through the emojis, not commenting on what he had said. “You pick one. I’m curious to see what you’ll choose.” 

Taking a deep, shaky breath, you glance to the side at Sunghoon before letting it out in a sharp sigh, trying not to let him get to you. You aren’t sure if it’s just wanting to try to prove something to him or stupidity, but with a small burst of confidence, you purse your lips together and scroll until you find the devil emoji pressing down on it and then save. 

“Wow. Damn, Y/N. That’s kinda hot.” Sliding his phone from his jacket pocket, Sunghoon quickly types your name into his contacts and puts an angel emoji next to your name before turning it towards you for you to put your own number in. “I already have Soobin’s number; I just need yours, Angel.” 

Leaning his head back, Soobin tries not to show how annoyed he is at Sunghoon’s blatant flirting with you after he had tried to embarrass him from the get-go. Instead, he waits for you to finish putting your number into Sunghoon’s phone and for you to turn to him expectantly. He could almost see how flustered you were, and while Soobin wished that he was the cause, he wasn’t that dense. “Here you go.” 

Quickly putting your number into Soobin’s phone, you meet his eyes as you scroll through the emojis one last time before picking the girl with glasses as your emoji and saving it in his phone. “Cool. Uh, did you guys wanna go ahead and set up a time and place to get started on the project? I kinda have a few ideas for some business proposals, but of course we should all have some so we can decide together.” 

You were so cute as you tried to stay on task. No matter how much Sunghoon tried to tease you, and no matter how flustered he made you, you still found your way back to the task at hand. You were persistent; he had to hand it to you. 

“I’m good anytime—well, not anytime. I have plans this weekend. So anytime before Friday night.” 

Rolling his eyes, Soobin lets out a loud sigh and leans towards the table to rest his forearms on the top. Of course Sunghoon would have plans and make the rest of the group work around them. Furrowing his brows at Soobin’s outburst, Sunghoon shifts in his chair and lifts his hand from the table like a question. 

“Problem?” 

“I mean, yeah. Literally told, this is basically our entire grade and you’d rather get trashed—” 

The tension is once again getting thick. You sit up straight and clear your throat, trying to stop the argument before it starts. You had been concerned about this group for other reasons, and now you were starting to realize you were going to be spending your time trying to keep Sunghoon and Soobin from killing each other for the few weeks it would take to complete the project and present it. 

“We don’t have to meet this weekend. How about Thursday? No one has to cancel plans right now. We are just getting started.” Glancing from one man to the other, you look for sympathy as a slight pout forms on your lips. “Please don’t argue. I just want to get a good grade on this. I really need it. I just need you guys to help me pick something out, and I’ll research. I don’t need much.” 

Taking a breath and pursing his lips, Sunghoon lets his eyes stay on Soobin for a moment longer—a look of contempt evident before he shifts his gaze to you, and it softens slightly. “It’s a date. Your place or mine?” 

Hearing a soft, flustered “oh” leave your lips, Soobin shakes his head and sits back in his chair as you pick up your pen to just have something to do with your hands. Every class that he had shared with Sunghoon had gone exactly like this; somehow this was already worse. He had avoided having to do projects with him, and he hadn’t had to watch him flirt with the one girl he was interested in. It was like Sunghoon knew and was doing it on purpose. 

“I—you know, either. Or, we could like just... Meet at the library and grab a room.” You could feel Sunghoon’s eyes, almost like they were burning your skin with how intense his gaze was. Soobin, on the other hand, was almost avoiding you now. “Or if Soobin has another idea—” 

“I don’t like the library. I’d rather meet at my dorm or yours, Y/N.” Finally looking back up at you, Soobin sighs when he meets your eyes, and you nod, your teeth catching your bottom lip as you shift in your chair. 

“Sh—sure, yeah. We can just meet at mine. Thursday, like 4 o’clock?” 

Sunghoon smirks even as he nods, his eyes not even moving to the front of the room as everyone else in the room starts to move, noticing the time. Normally he would already be out the door and on his way on to the next thing, but you were far more interesting. “See you then, angel.” 

“Yea—sure, sounds good.” Clearing his throat, Soobin is the first to move to his feet and grab his things before you push back your chair to do the same, causing you to take a step towards him. Taking a deep breath, Soobin meets your eyes and gives you a shy smile as he mutters an apology and steps off to the side, feeling his neck and face heating up. 

“No problem.” 

Your mind was spinning, every thought in it clouded by the scent of Soobin’s cologne, even though he isn’t right in front of you anymore as you lean over to pick up your bag and pull it up into your chair to pack up your things quickly. Sliding out of his chair, Sunghoon tilts his head, watching how your skirt lifts up just slightly on your thighs when you pick up your bag before he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair and raises his brows at an obviously flustered Soobin. He got it. You were cute as fuck and oblivious to how either one of them was looking at you. It was maddening. 

“Text me later and let me know if you want me to bring drinks or something to this rager we are planning.” Walking backwards out of the room, Sunghoon flashes you a smile and winks as he turns on his heels out of the door. 

“I—jesus. He’s insufferable.” 

Glancing over to Soobin with your bag on your shoulder, you can’t help the smile that pulls at your lips when he voices his displeasure for Sunghoon. You knew about their competitive nature in classes, but seeing it up close was a completely different thing. “He’s kinda funny, I don’t know. It’ll be okay. We just need a topic, and this will be easy, Soobin. Don’t stress about it. I’ll text you both later about Thursday.” 

Letting out another breath watching you wave at him as you slip out of the room, Soobin leans his head back and curses under his breath at his shit luck. If this had been any other class and any other project when he could have you to himself, he might actually be looking forward to this. But no, Sunghoon had to be right there to fuck it up. 

Tapping the screen of your phone, you sigh as the time ticks closer and closer to 4 p.m. You had managed to speed clean your small dorm room into something presentable within an hour, but even as you sat on your now freshly made bed, you were nervous about Sunghoon and Soobin seeing where you lived half of the year. 

The knock at your door sends your heart into a panic; you feel it rising into your throat as you slide off your bed and smooth down the skirt of your dress as you give a quick glance at the mirror before reaching for the door handle. It doesn’t surprise you when you see Soobin first. He seemed, out of the two, the most responsible and prompt. 

“Come in.” Taking a step back, you find yourself having to look down as a smile pulls at your lips, heat spreading over your cheeks at how Soobin looks at you. He didn’t look much different than any other day, but that was what you liked about him. 

Pushing the dark frames of his glasses up his nose, Soobin’s smile widens as he moves past you into your room so he can glance around quickly. You were tidy and adorable. He was happy that you hadn’t decided to study in his room. Not that he was living like an animal, but it was overwhelming in the best ways to be surrounded by all of your things and your perfume. 

“You can sit down anywhere. Sorry, I don’t have many options, but the desk and bed are up for grabs. I can always sit on the floor.” 

Furrowing his brows at your words, Soobin shakes his head and drops his bag from his shoulder next to your desk before turning around to meet your eyes. “I wouldn’t make you sit on the floor. I’m sure there’s enough room for us all—” 

You watch as Soobin’s smile fades slightly along with his words when the second knock draws his attention from you and towards the door. Swallowing hard, you shake out your hands before moving back to the door and pulling it open, instantly meeting Sunghoon’s eyes. 

“I’m late to the party.” 

Shaking your head, you step to the side. Gesturing for Sunghoon to come inside, you lick your lips as you try to think of the right words. “Uh, no—no. Soobin just got here. We were just talking about where to sit. I was telling him that you guys are welcome to sit on the bed and at my desk and I can sit on the floor.” 

“Shit, why would you sit on the floor?” Scoffing, Sunghoon glances around your room much like Soobin had before he nods at the other man and meets your eyes once again. “We can both sit on the bed. Plenty big enough, princess.” 

Soobin watches with narrowed eyes as Sunghoon sits on your bed and makes a face of approval before patting the spot next to himself. “Unless you wanna sit on my lap.” 

Starting to sit down next to Sunghoon, you almost fall on to the bed out of shock as your breath gets caught in your throat at his bold words. “What? No! I’m fine here.” 

“I’m playing with you.” Poking at your side, Sunghoon smirks when you recoil from his teasing, but still a smile pulls at your pretty lips. “Have to lighten the mood somehow. You two are so uptight.” 

With a shake of his head, Soobin rolls his eyes and pulls your desk chair out from under the table, turning it towards your bed with more force than necessary. He wished he had been just a bit quicker and less of a chicken shit when it came to you and sat on the bed instead of letting Sunghoon do it. “Just here to actually get something done, Sunghoon. It’s not a party; those happen at your frat house.” 

Humming into a nod, Sunghoon leans back on your bed to rest on his elbows as you shift slightly near him to pick up your laptop, resting it on your thighs. “Sure isn’t a party, but speaking of. Y/N, you got plans this weekend? We are having a little get-together, and you should stop by.” Glancing towards Soobin quickly, almost dismissing him, Sunghoon sighs before giving you a tight smile and adding, “Soobin is invited too, of course.” 

You tilt your head at your computer screen, glancing towards Sunghoon and then Soobin before trying to pay more attention to the document you had already started the night before for the group project. “Um, I—well, I don’t really party. I don’t even know what those parties are like—” 

“Oh, you know... a quiet house that smells like febreeze or some shit, literally no crap in the way. Oh, and uh, everyone there will 100% be over 21, scouts honor.” Grinning at the look on your face, Sunghoon quickly puts up his hands and laughs at his own joke, adding, “Seriously, it’ll be fun and good for you. Let your hair down and shit.” 

Wrinkling your nose at Sunghoon’s attempt to convince you, you bite at your bottom lip unknowingly, drawing his and Soobin’s attention to where your teeth pull at your soft lips. “I don’t—” 

“I’ll go if you do, Y/N.” 

Meeting Soobin’s eyes surprised, Sunghoon tilts his head as you do the same and smiles. 

“Really? I—okay, I guess. I could come for an hour or two. Couldn’t hurt, right?” 

Sunghoon realized in that moment he probably needed to thank Soobin for convincing you to go to the party, but at the same time you had only agreed if he was going. That didn’t bode well for him. Did you like Soobin? Did you like Soobin more than him? Pursing his lips, Sunghoon watches you turn your attention back to your laptop, your fingers moving smoothly over the keys as you start working on a project he’d barely given any thought to. “I promise it’ll be fun. Now, what are you working on?” 

Adjusting on the bed so Sunghoon can see your laptop screen, you start to explain an idea you had about a law firm sharing your three names—Choi, Park, and Y/L/N—when you realize that Soobin is straining his next trying to see and pay attention. "Oh, um—maybe—Sunghoon? Could you scoot down? I think maybe if we lean back against the wall, we can all sit on the bed and use my laptop.” 

Sitting up, Sunghoon shrugs as he lets out a long breath before doing as you asked and scooting down very slightly so you can do the same, finding yourself right against his side. You don’t see the smirk on his lips as his eyes move over your face while you watch Soobin move from your desk chair and to the other side of you, now snugly between the two. 

“Is this okay? Or is it too close? I know my bed’s kinda small.” 

When you start to wiggle, trying to give either man a bit more room, Soobin shakes his head and stretches his back against the wall you are all leaning against. “I’m comfortable, Y/N. Tell us about the law firm.” He didn’t want you to move, or for you or Sunghoon to make him move. He was enjoying the feeling of you warm against his side, your leg against his, your sweet perfume invading his senses. 

It was difficult for either Sunghoon or Soobin to really pay attention to the work in front of them. There was nothing wrong with what you had suggested; it was as good as anything else anyone could come up with. The issue was you. It was difficult to think about some make-believe law firm when you have a pretty girl sighing with her body against yours. His mind starts to wander, and he finds himself imagining if her moans might sound as sweet and pretty as her sighs. 

At least, that was where Soobin’s mind was. Sunghoon’s eyes were doing most of the wandering. You were so focused on your screen, your lips moving as you asked their opinion to change some idea only to get a nod of approval from each of them as Sunghoon took in every detail he could see. You were gorgeous. How hadn’t he tried to get with you yet? Probably because you didn’t come to the parties he did. You had other priorities—Sunghoon’s only priority now was to see the rest of you after trying to memorize every freckle, mole, and dimple on your exposed skin. 

“We could talk about how one of our specialties is pro-bono work. Maybe Soobin?” Glancing up to get another opinion, you feel your cheeks burn when you find two sets of eyes watching you intently. You wait a few seconds before looking down and clearing your throat, realizing that neither is answering you, almost as if they were too distracted. “Soobin?”

Taking a deep breath of his own, Soobin finally meets your eyes before quickly looking at the screen in front of you to try to catch back up. “Sure, yeah… I’d be into that.” 

“Cool.” Nodding, you tilt your head and add in a few more notes to the section, feeling Soobin’s eyes once again move over your face. “We can meet up and go more into depth with each section if you want. I think Sunghoon would take the business law section... I mean, you know, following in his father’s footsteps, blah blah blah.” 

Your voice trails off as your finger moves over the trackpad. Sunghoon grins as you choose his “profession” in the law firm for him. “Blah, blah, blah... Sure, whatever you think, princess. And I can meet up at the party, or next week.” 

The idea of talking about your project at a party where Sunghoon would undoubtedly be drunk or high makes your brows knit together as you look over at him. “I—we can’t do this at the party. That’s silly. I mean, if you wanna meet before the party and go over a few things, that I can do.” 

Now you were saying shit that made sense. Sunghoon loved the idea of having you to himself for a bit. “Perfect. You can come over a couple of hours before and we can set this in stone; that sounds fair.” 

Soobin wasn’t an idiot; he could almost see the wheels turning in Sunghoon’s head as the man’s eyes moved over your face and along your neck. He thought if he could get you alone, he might have a chance at getting laid—two could play that game. Soobin wasn’t sure where the desire—no, the need to beat Sunghoon—had originated, but he knew when it came to you, he had to win. “And we can meet up tomorrow; finish up my section.” 

Suddenly your week and weekend had gotten packed. You were used to door-dashing food on a Friday and vegging out in your pajamas as you caught up on your work, but now you had to figure out how to look presentable for Choi Soobin. 

“Okay…” Your voice is softer than you intend; you lean to pick up your phone from your nightstand, leaning over Soobin’s lap for a few seconds before you rest back in your spot. You don’t realize the effect you have on either of the men and how their eyes meet after both struggle to hold in groans watching your dress ride up your thighs. “So tomorrow, Soobin—maybe we can meet back here at like 7?” Sighing at your calendar, you click your tongue against your teeth and nod before continuing. “And Sunghoon, I can come a couple of hours early; does that work?” 

Neither need much convincing after their shared glances, a rare understanding between them as they both mutter in agreement. 

Taking a deep breath, Soobin stares at your dorm room door as he adjusts his bag on his shoulder, mostly out of nerves. He had just been here the day before, but it felt different being here alone with you. Not that he was even close to complaining; it would be nice to work with you—get to know you without Sunghoon looming over his shoulder or yours. 

It was just before 7 o'clock, and you had been looking at your phone consistently for the past hour and a half to keep track of the time. Both Soobin and Sunghoon made you nervous; however, there was something about Soobin that you couldn’t quite shake. 

Sunghoon was easy to understand. He was forward—too forward, at times, but at least you knew what was on his mind. Soobin, on the other hand, was quiet and reserved. You had felt your skin go hot as an oven under his eyes while you had sat next to him on the bed, and now you were going to be alone with him. 

Knocking lightly, Soobin puffs up his cheeks and waits. All of his anxiety about seeing you melts away the moment his eyes move over your pretty face. The knot in his stomach that had told him earlier in the day to reschedule the study session releases, and he lets out the breath he had been holding and smiles at you. 

“Hey. You loo—I mean—” Clearing his throat, Soobin’s eyes stay transfixed on you as a smile pulls at your lips and you step back, giving him room to move through the door. “I hope I’m not bothering you or anything.” 

Shaking your head, you close your door as your brows furrow at Soobin’s words. He was so handsome and sweet it made your head spin. He confused you with how soft he seemed. It made you want to get to know him better—get to know the real Soobin. 

“Why would you be bothering me? We planned this, Soobin.” Gesturing towards your bed, you sigh softly as Soobin sits down near where he had the day before, dropping his bag into the floor in front of him. 

“No—yeah… I mean, I know. Just saying—I mean, I’m just trying not to be a—” Letting out a soft sigh on his breath, Soobin shakes his head before taking in a deeper breath to steady himself. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m glad we get to do this project together, Y/N.” 

You pull your leg up under you so that you almost rest on your knees facing Soobin as you sit next to him. “I’m glad too. I—” Glancing down, you feel a wave of uncertainty rushing over you as your cheeks start to burn. You couldn’t help but feel shy under his gaze as you spoke, or tried to, your voice quiet. “I’m glad too. I kinda feel bad for you and Sunghoon being stuck with me. I know neither of you would probably pick me if you had a cho—” 

“That’s crazy, Y/N. I’d pick you in a heartbeat.” Shaking his head, Soobin shifts on your bed, turning towards you, feeling a bit bolder as frustration runs through his veins at your words. “Why the hell would you even think that I wouldn’t? Fuck what Sunghoon thinks. I want to know why you think that I wouldn’t want you.” 

Almost as if he’s realizing what he had said, seeing the look of surprise on your face—your eyes widening in slight confusion and shock—Soobin licks his lips and opens his mouth before closing it and taking a breath through his nose. He hadn’t meant it how it sounded—but perhaps he had; he didn’t want to scare you. “I mean… Uh—just… Of course I wanna do this project with you. It’s stupid to think I wouldn’t want—” 

Even Soobin knew he was talking himself in circles as you tilted your head so innocently at him. He wasn’t Sunghoon. He hadn’t come here with the intention to flirt your pants off. He wasn’t some fuckboy asshole with an agenda. 

Swallowing hard, Soobin lowers his eyes to his legs and then further towards his bag before reaching for it, unzipping it quickly, and taking out his laptop to try to change the subject. He could feel your eyes on him, and the heat, while overwhelming, was also making his jeans tighter. Settling the laptop on to his lap, Soobin shifts uncomfortably at the feeling of the pressure before puffing up his cheeks, still grateful to have something hiding his potential problem as he willed himself to calm the fuck down. 

“So… I—I uh, tried to expand on what you said about the pro bono part of the practice and came up with a few things if you wanna take a look.” 

Your eyes move along Soobin’s face, from his glasses to his perfect lips as his tongue darts along them to keep them from drying out from nerves and finally down towards his lap and to the screen now open for you. You could see how he was fidgeting—almost as if he was uncomfortable where he was sitting, the screen of the laptop moving very slightly as he sighs and scrolls down, letting you try to read over what he had come up with. 

“It’s… Yeah—sounds good.” 

“You sure? You don’t sound convinced." Soobin’s anxiety was peaking at the sound of your voice. He had royally fucked up. Now you were upset with him even when it came to the project, and he was going to spiral. 

“No—I mean yes! Yes! It’s good. Soobin, it’s just—can you stop, like wiggling? I can’t read it when you are doing that. Can I see it? Let me hold it.” Reaching for his laptop, you furrow your brows at the quick, sharp breath Soobin takes before your hand slides over his on his lap. 

“I—Y/N… Yes, you can, but!” Fuck. Feeling the laptop being pulled from his lap, Soobin closes his eyes when he hears you take a breath, and a small “oh” leaves your lips. Mortified—that is all that Soobin feels as he blindly reaches for one of your throw pillows, pulling it into his lap, still unable to bring himself to look at you. 

If you had known what Soobin had been hiding with his laptop, you might not have just grabbed it—or at least you would have gone about it a different way. Grimacing as Soobin turns his head away from you, the pillow now over his lap, you start to speak but stop when you realize you aren’t sure what to say at first. 

Now things that Soobin had said were sort of starting to make a bit more sense, and still not completely. Maybe he was just being a guy. Perhaps he was already having his... problem before he had even gotten to your room, and this had nothing to do with you, but you can’t stop yourself from glancing down at the pillow in Soobin’s lap one more time out of curiosity. What if it was because of you? 

“Soobin?” 

Leaning his head back when you say his name, Soobin groans under his breath. It was a mixture of embarrassment and arousal. Being around you, seeing so much of your skin on display, the words you had said so innocently that he had let his dirty mind twist... “Hmm?” 

Closing Soobin’s laptop, you lean to put it on the floor out of harm's way before resting back on your knees, your eyes once again moving over the man beside you as he keeps his eyes on the ceiling as if trying to disappear. Maybe you could test your theory. Was Soobin into you, or was this just a fluke thing? There was no one else around... you had always been such a good girl at university; how bad could it be to help out someone who clearly needed help? 

“Well, I was just—I thought... Do you want me to help you with that? You know if you like me like that?” 

He had been doing halfway decent at getting himself calmed down. Soobin had been solving basic trigonometry problems in his head to get his cock to behave, but the moment you ask him if he wants help, all his hard work is out the window. Feeling his cock twitch in his boxers, Soobin bites at his cheek, slowly lowering his head and glancing over at you meeting your seemingly innocent eyes. 

You were like a siren in the middle of the vast blue ocean, and he would swim to his death gladly. You had asked another stupid question, causing Soobin’s blood to boil, but the most he could manage at first was to scoff at you, making you recoil and pout, feeling rejected. 

"Oh, I—no problem. Sorry I misread the situ—” 

“Y/N, please.” Taking a deep breath, Soobin cuts you off again, knowing he has to stop you before you spiral this time. “You have no fucking idea how much I like you like that, or how much I like you in general.” Gripping the pillow tightly over his lap, Soobin groans a bit louder as he boldly lets his eyes move over your face and body this time. You were really the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and this had to be a fucking wet dream that he was going to wake up from at any moment. “But, are you serious? You wanna help me? I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just—god, you are just so cute, and you were looking at me like that. I couldn’t help it.” 

Biting your bottom lip, you smile into a soft laugh as you feel warmth spread over your cheeks at Soobin’s words and compliments. You would have never expected to have such an effect on him. You’d never tell him now how many times you laid in bed right where he was sitting and thought about him as you played with the toys in your drawer. You wouldn’t have the guts to tell him just yet how at night you would think about him and wearing his glasses as he buried his—

“Shit—seriously. You gotta stop lookin’ at me like that. I’m gonna cum in my pants. You really have no idea what you look like.” 

Soobin’s words bring you out of your daydream and back to reality as you let your eyes once again drop to the pillow in his lap. “What do I look like, Soobin?” 

You weren’t trying to be particularly sexy. You weren’t even really sure how to. That wasn’t your “strong” point, but to Soobin, you didn’t have to try. Your innocence was doing it all. Your sweet voice with that layer of teasing was driving him insane as you reached for the pillow, moving it out of his lap and letting you see how hard he really was for you. 

“Ah—fuck. Um… Just—it’s hard to... It’s hard to talk when you’re like this.” Leaning back on your bed to rest on his elbows, Soobin watches you closely as you shift closer to him, your fingers running along his thighs over his jeans. "But, uh, you look like you want me to fuck you. Like, uh, this want in your eyes. ‘Fuck me’ eyes, I guess.” 

Rubbing your lips together, you carefully graze your fingertips over the bulge in Soobin’s jeans, feeling him thrust off the bed towards you. “Maybe I do want that.” Smiling, you tilt your head, your eyes following your fingers as you smoothly undo his jeans, feeling his stomach suck in under your light touch. “You know, one day. This isn’t a one-time thing, right?” 

“God…no.” Shaking his head, Soobin licks his lips and claws at the comforter under him, feeling the drag of his zipper along his hard cock. “I hope not. Trust me, Y/N. I want you so fucking bad. Wanted you for—ah, wait!” Soobin’s voice becomes a whine when you pull away from him to sit back, his eyes widening as he follows you confused. 

“I’m not leaving you. Why are you pouting at me, Binnie?” Standing beside the bed, you sway your hips side to side ever so slightly as you work your leggings down your legs, leaving you in your panties and t-shirt, causing Soobin’s mouth to go dry. “I’m just getting comfortable. You should too.” 

Groaning your name under his breath, Soobin shakes his head as you use a nickname for him as you take off part of your clothes. Yes, he had seen your legs before when you had worn dresses or a skirt before, but this was different—it was so, so, fucking different. He could see the damp spot on the front of your panties; it was making his head spin. 

Soobin quickly sits up and kicks off his jeans, feeling some relief from just a layer of clothes being off, but still his boxers felt sticky against his cock, leaking almost obscenely as you stood in front of him waiting. “You want these off too, pretty?” Trying out the pet name, Soobin watches the smile pull at your lips as you nod and move back to the end of your bed to sit on your knees again. “Okay… Yeah, I can do that.” 

Nerves almost getting the better of him, Soobin digs his thumbs into the top of his boxers and pauses as he starts to lift his hips, hoping he will look good enough for you. It wasn’t like he was ashamed of how he looked, but you felt special to him. He wanted to be perfect for you and look exactly like who you wanted, but this was so sudden that he didn’t know anything about what you liked or wanted in bed. 

You could see the apprehension in Soobin’s face, the way his brows furrowed when he paused. You hadn’t meant to pressure him, if that’s what he was feeling. “You okay? If you don’t wanna take them off, you don’t have to. I can help you with them on or, you know, we don’t have to—” 

“I—woah, no, no! I want to. Just—nervous. What if you don’t like what you see?” 

Shaking your head, you shift closer to Soobin on your hands and knees, not even thinking about how you would look to him or what effect it would have on him until he lets out a shaky breath on a groan. Glancing up at him, that same look in your eyes as before, you smile, sliding your hand over his thigh and tilting your head when it becomes clear to you how turned on he is seeing you like you are on the bed in front of him. “I’m gonna like it, Soobin. You are so handsome. I bet every single part of you is. So... can I see it?” 

Eyes moving over your arched back down to your ass, Soobin shakes his head in disbelief, feeling your fingers walk slowly up his thigh towards his cock. You were either an angel or a demon; he hadn’t figured it out yet, but at the same time, Soobin wasn’t sure it mattered. He’d gladly give up his soul and die like this if it meant feeling your fingers sliding over his cock. 

“Yeah, you can see it. It’s yours, pretty.” Speaking on an exhale, Soobin leans his head back as he relishes in the feeling of your hand molding to the outline of his cock through his boxers. It felt like heaven, and yet it wasn’t enough. He knew he wanted your skin on his. Lifting his hips, Soobin opens his eyes, locking them with yours as he pushes his boxers down and kicks them across the floors before leaning back against your pillows, finally stretching his legs out along your bed. 

You know you should be a bit more subtle; slowly work your way down to looking at Soobin’s cock, but the moment he is laid out on your bed, it’s the first thing you do. You weren’t sure what you had been expecting. You had felt him through his boxers in your hand, and you had known he was on the bigger side, but seeing and feeling were different things. “Wow…” 

“Wow?” While Soobin enjoyed you looking at him, he had expected a bit more than a single word. Lifting his hand from the bed, he nervously runs his fingers along your arm down to your wrist, wrapping his fingers around it as he lifts his brows. Finally meeting your eyes as you lift your head, he smiles at you and watches you glance away shyly at first. “What? Hey, no. Please? I’m half naked here.” 

You knew it wasn’t fair, but you had one of the hottest guys at your school on your bed with his cock hard and out for you; now you were feeling like you might not be skilled enough to help him. “You’re big, Soobin. I’ve never—you know? Someone as big as you. I’m too nervous.” 

Soobin hadn’t been sure that his ego could get as big as it did when you spoke, but his shoulders were suddenly tighter and his chest suddenly felt a bit firmer with how you were looking at him. “Yeah? I— fuck. I don’t… I could make it fi—” Shaking his head, not wanting to sound like a cocky asshole, afraid of sounding like Sunghoon on accident, Soobin slides his fingers along your forearm and back down to your hand, taking it into his. “We don’t have to do anything crazy. Just whatever you feel comfortable with, okay, beautiful?” 

Your heart beats a bit harder at Soobin’s words and how sweet he is by not pressuring you into doing something that was too much too fast. As much as you might want him to fuck you or to try to fit your mouth around him, tonight just wasn’t that night—but that didn’t mean there weren’t other things you couldn’t do. 

Nodding, you bite your lip as you shift on the bed to sit over Soobin’s thighs, hearing him suck in a breath when you do. “This okay?” Getting a nod from him, you smile before cautiously scooting forward and stopping short of his cock, letting it rest against your thigh, his pre-cum smearing along your soft skin. “Lean against the headboard? I wanna kiss you while I do this, if that’s okay.” 

Soobin had never moved so fast in his life at the thought of kissing you. He had wanted to kiss you for months, if not a year or more. He had found himself staring at your lips and not paying attention in several classes more than once since he had first met you... and now it was becoming a reality. 

Scratching your nails along his chest as you finally close the space between you and him, you can’t help the smile that finds your lips when he groans your name, feeling the warmth between your legs. His cock nudges between your legs, the tip firmly pressed against your cotton panties, and Soobin closes his eyes tightly and squeezes your thighs without thinking. 

“Fuck… Please don’t tease me, baby.” 

Soobin hadn’t meant to call you a pet name, but it had slipped off his tongue like sugar against your lips before the first kiss. You weren’t trying to tease him, but he felt so good right where he was. His lips, even brushing against yours, felt so good, but the first real kiss was enough to make you see stars. 

Groaning into your mouth, Soobin slides his fingers along your thighs to your hips, where he squeezes again and pulls you closer to him as he rolls his hips towards yours. His tongue glides along yours before he swallows your soft, sweet moans to keep them for himself, knowing with each moan from your mouth he is leaking against your panties like a teenager, soaking through to your skin. 

It’s when you do finally reach between your legs and wrap your fingers around Soobin’s cock, your smaller hand tightening around his shaft and stroking him from base to tip, that he throws his head back against your headboard, breaking the kiss. “Shit, that feels so good. I’m too worked up, baby. I won’t last if you—ah.” 

You could tell from how Soobin was whining into his groans and the way he was short of breath that he was already close. Pre-cum was running along your fingers, making each stroke of your hand smooth as you rocked your hips towards his until you suddenly released your grip and met his eyes. 

“Wh—why? Why are you teasing me? I was so close. Pretty girl, please!” The last plead from Soobin’s mouth is sharp, his usually deeper voice going up an octave as you sit back on his legs, wrapping your fingers back around his length and pressing his tip against the center of your panties before stroking him against your clothed, warm pussy. 

“Why do you act like I’m punishing you, Binnie? Does this not feel good? What if I just wanted to feel a little bit?” 

Eyes rolling back, Soobin bites his bottom lip as he thrusts up between your hand and panties, feeling the damp cotton under his sensitive cock. There aren’t many thoughts in his brain as he shakes his head and mutters your name, staring to lose himself in the feeling. He finds himself wishing, praying, and hoping to feel your pussy around his cock when he feels soft and warm skin pulling him back to reality. 

Glancing down between your legs, Soobin only has seconds to watch his cock sliding between your folds, the tip of his cock rubbing your clit before he’s done for. Warm, sticky, white ropes paint your lower stomach and folds as Soobin pants through his climax, his fingers digging into your thighs hard enough to leave bruises. 

“Shit, Soobin…” The words fall from your lips on a soft moan as your clit throbs, begging you for more, but you know that he’s done. You can feel Soobin’s cock start to soften in your hand as he whines your name, his fingers still kneading your thighs. 

Searching your face, Soobin watches the pout start to form on your lips, your bottom lip jutting out just slightly as your hand loosens around him and you start to scoot back on your bed. It wasn’t fair. He felt great. You had taken him to heaven and back, yet he could see the disappointment written on your face. That just wouldn’t work for him. 

“You’re so fucking pretty.” 

Soobin’s compliment brings your attention back to him, your eyes meeting his as he licks his lips. Quickly your cheeks warm up, words getting caught in your throat as you try to think of the right thing to say—anything when you feel the tightness in your stomach from want though you don’t know or want to ask for something when you had only offered to help. 

“Baby…” Whining the pet name, Soobin slides to his knees, his hands once again finding your hips as he helps you to the center of your bed. “Can I touch you? Make you feel good?” Letting his eyes move between your legs, Soobin groans at the sight of his cum on your stomach and the peek of it between your legs—how your pussy lips aren’t quite covered by your panties that are painted by him. He finds himself wanting to run his finger through it... Put it where it belongs—inside you. “Are you—mmm, this is a really personal question but probably important to ask, since we are in bed together. Are you on birth control?” 

Your thighs tremble at Soobin’s touch, suddenly shy at his attention and his question. It was a valid and fair question, and yet how he asked it made you feel like you were burning up, as if you were right beside an open flame. Unable to find the words, you just nod quickly and suck on your bottom lip. 

“Yes? To which question, pretty girl? I asked two.” 

Closing your eyes, you whine Soobin’s name and lean your head back, causing him to laugh under his breath even as his fingers trail along your thighs. “Both of them. Please… I helped, right? I was good?” 

The question makes Soobin furrow his brows, his throat suddenly dry as if sand were poured in his mouth instead of water. Why were you able to say something so simple and innocent and it sound so filthy? Why did you have this sort of effect on him? Pushing his mouth against his bicep, Soobin nods before moving one hand from your leg to push his glasses up his nose. “Very fucking good, baby. The best. Now let me be good for you.” 

You want to tell Soobin that he is already good, but the words get lost on your tongue when his lips press to your knee as his fingers pull your ruined panties to the side and his other hand is free to explore. Mouth falling open in a silent moan, you try to watch carefully as Soobin’s fingers carefully push your sticky folds apart, giving him access to everything he wants. 

“You got so messy with my cock..." Soobin was muttering, not even really speaking to you as he studied what was in front of him, his thumb circling your clit as he spread his cum along your skin. Finally meeting your eyes again, Soobin swallows hard watching you lick your lips, your chest rising and falling hard and fast with each panting moan. “Can I fuck you with my fingers? That okay?” 

Clinging to the bedding, you nod hard, wanting to feel more of Soobin’s touch. You weren’t blind, and you knew he probably wasn’t either. You had been staring at his hands. His hands were big, his fingers thick, and the idea of Soobin just touching you had you leaking and mewing like a cat in heat. “Yeah, Binnie. Want it, please?” 

You wanted it. That was even better than him asking for permission—hearing you beg for it. Smiling against your leg, Soobin nods as he slowly drags more of his cum down before slowly easing the first finger into you. He had cum, and yet feeling you clench around his finger had Soobin’s cock throbbing against his leg. He could lie to himself and you and say that he was using the cum on your skin as lube to fuck you on his fingers, but in reality you were so wet he didn’t need it—it was an added bonus being able to know that he was inside of you. 

“Doin’ so good, beautiful. Gonna add another one; you can take it.” Nodding along with you, Soobin grins when you cry out his name on a moan when he pushes a second finger in to your pussy alongside the first. Your warm, soft walls hug his fingers and pull them in as if you are trying to fuck yourself, too eager to wait for Soobin to do it. “Like that? Feel good?” 

It was almost a stupid question, but you nod anyway and mutter out a yes and pleas for more. It was almost too easy for Soobin to get you drunk on him and dumb with just his fingers. You could already feel the coil inside of you winding so tight that it was threatening to snap. Each brush of his fingers and every deep thrust as his thumb circled your clit, and muttered praises pushed you to the edge. 

“Good fucking girl, yeah? My girl?” 

Soobin knew that was crazy asking you that, making you admit to being his, but when you nod and repeat the words back to him, it makes his head spin. You might not even mean it; most people didn’t mean what they said during sex, but that was okay. Right now, it didn’t matter if you meant it; he would replay it on a loop for the rest of his life, just like he would never forget the feeling of you cumming on his fingers. 

“Soobin! Yes, yes! Ah… right there!” 

Thighs shaking, tightening around Soobin’s arm, you throw your head back as your orgasm rips through your body, leaving you breathless and spent on your bed. Fingers brush over your cheeks, soft lips meet yours, and you find it impossible not to smile as you return the sweet kiss, feeling Soobin’s arm wrap around you. There was a lot left unsaid. Much of your project was left undone, but you were enjoying the moment as you threw caution to the wind. 

Soobin, on the other hand, was letting his mind run in circles as he held you against him. He wanted this. Not just the sex, but this. He wanted you. He wanted you to say you were his and mean it. But how in the fuck was he supposed to say that when he had just now gotten the courage to talk to you during a stupid ass group project? 

It could wait. Nothing could possibly happen, right? He just needed a little more time to get his shit together.

Sunghoon had been waiting for something, anything from you or Soobin about what the two of you had gotten done the day before for the project, but yet his inbox was looking bare. Maybe the two of you had decided he wasn’t privy to that information. It wouldn’t surprise him if Choi Soobin decided to pull some shit like that, but you? Nah, you wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t allow it. Would you? 

Sipping on the same beer he had been nursing for an hour, Sunghoon narrows his eyes at the clock on his phone as he bounces his leg along with the music from the next room. Most of the other members of his frat were already pre-gaming, actually enjoying their afternoon, and he was sitting here with a half-stale beer waiting on you. 

It shouldn’t piss Sunghoon off as much as it does, but he doesn’t do shit like this for girls. Not for school... not for any reason. Chicks are chicks, and that’s it, so why do you have him sober while Jake Sim was already throwing up in the sink? 

He was about to give in and get something stronger than his beer when your name caught his attention on his phone. 

Y/N😇: Do I just come in? Should I knock? People are just going inside, but I feel weird. Doesn’t the party start at like 11? 

God, you were so cute; it was killing Sunghoon. You rambled even over text. Sliding off the sofa, Sunghoon pockets his cellphone and pushes past a few of the early comers to open the front door and see you looking around like a lost puppy. 

Devastating. You were devastating him. Fuck, he was screwed. 

“Princess, get your cute ass in the house. Have you never been to a frat party before?” 

Eyes widening, you hold the strap of your bag tighter to your shoulder as you turn to meet Sunghoon’s eyes after hearing his voice. It was a valid question, and yet it made you feel small and insecure. Sunghoon wasn’t like you. He was cool and super rich. Everyone wanted him or to be him. You weren’t much different than them supposed, but you were also the one he was calling princess. 

“Oh… I—no. Not really. I—” 

Scooting to the side as a girl shoots you a dirty look, her attention turning immediately towards Sunghoon, you look away as she coos at him making her way into the house. “Sunghoon! Oh my god, you look so fucking good. Do you wanna, like, you know, chill before—” 

This was what Sunghoon had gotten used to. Maybe that was narcissistic of him to expect it, but he was used to girls throwing themselves at him. Yeah, he had accepted a few offers. He had a reputation, but he liked to have fun. He knew at the end of the day none of these girls mattered. They saw status and dollar signs. He saw tits and a distraction, but when he looked at you, he saw something else—frustration and desire. 

Shaking his head and sidestepping to get away from the pretty girl and her advances, Sunghoon sighs, giving her a half glance. “Nah. I have shit to do.” When you don’t move, making no effort to meet his eyes again, Sunghoon rolls his eyes, moving down the steps to grab your hand, much to the dismay of the girl as you are ushered inside the house past her. “I told you to come inside, baby.”

“Sunghoon…” Your voice is quiet, almost embarrassed, as you meet the eyes of the girl he had turned down when she hears him call you baby. You can feel the daggers come from her eyes and meet your skin until you are finally out of her sight and heading up the stairs away from the music. “Sunghoon.” Saying his name again, you tug back on his hand at the top of the stairs, landing finally managing to get him to look back at you. “There is so much going on downstairs. Aren’t you going to miss it by doing this with me? I’m not nearly as much fun as that. You don’t have to preten–” 

“God, Y/N, shut the hell up already. I said we can work on the project today, and we can.” Pushing his bedroom door open, Sunghoon ushers you inside as your cheeks burn from his words. Watching you move slowly into the room, he narrows his eyes and sighs before running his fingers through his hair. “You’re annoying, you know that?” 

Tears prick at your eyes as you walk towards one of the beds in the room, sitting your bag down on it as Sunghoon moves closer behind you. You weren’t sure what you had done to him to make him be so mean to you, but his words were making your stomach twist up in a knotted mess of anxiety and low self-confidence. 

Hearing you sniff under your breath, Sunghoon closes his eyes and leans his head back, knowing he upset you. It hadn’t really been his intention. He wasn’t great with words. He just said what was on his mind, and you were annoying him. He just hadn’t clarified why. “Fuck, Y/N. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I—listen, okay?” Hands slide over your arms as Sunghoon slowly turns you towards him, his eyes moving over your face carefully. “What I mean is that you aren’t like the other girls. You make me chase you. I don’t chase girls, Y/N.” 

You could understand every word that Sunghoon was saying, and yet nothing he was saying made any sense to you. Shaking your head, you sniff back your tears and lift your shoulders, causing Sunghoon to groan in annoyance before he cups your face with both of his hands leaning in to press his lips to yours. 

Every cell in your body misfires at the feeling. Your mind screams for you to run. You quickly think of every rumor you have heard about Sunghoon. You picture every heartbroken girl crying over him as he smirks with his friends the very same day, and yet as he kisses you, his tongue gently gliding along your bottom lip, you start to melt into him. You shouldn’t enjoy feeling Sunghoon’s lips on yours, but you do. You whine into the kiss, and Sunghoon’s brows furrow as his entire body reacts to the sweet sound. 

“Holy shit. You sound so pretty, Angel. Do that again for me?” 

Sunghoon was different than Soobin. Every touch was precise and calculated. Each step, while not planned, led you right where Sunghoon knew he wanted you. Knees hitting the end of his bed, causing you to fall backwards with another whine, your back hitting the bed, eyes wide as you look up at Sunghoon. 

Leaning over you to pick up your bag, Sunghoon moves it to the floor before laying over you and putting his lips back on yours. This hadn’t been the plan. He really was planning on being true to his word and working on the project with you, but then you just had to be so fucking cute and so goddamn frustrating, and now Sunghoon was throwing himself at you. 

One hand sliding along your side to your hip, Sunghoon breaks the kiss to meet your eyes with a question hanging in the hair as his fingers play with the end of your dress on your thigh. He would let you say no, but god, he hoped you wouldn’t. He was being pathetic; he could feel his cock throbbing in his pants. The moment you whine his name again and nod, Sunghoon is groaning your name and sliding down in the bed to push your dress up to your stomach. 

“You are so cute, princess. Always dressed so pretty.” Shaking his head, Sunghoon traces your bellybutton with his pinky, watching you suck in your stomach on a deep breath, causing his lips to pull up in a smirk. “Won’t lie, recently I’ve been telling myself you’ve been dressing like this for me... Even if I know it’s probably not.” 

Carefully pushing the tips of his fingers into the elastic of your panties, Sunghoon lifts his brows in a question again before tilting his head and licking his lips. “Can I? Wanna taste you so fuckin’ bad. Been dreaming about it for days.” 

His words have you breathless; you feel almost faint as you nod and lift your hips, letting Sunghoon work your panties down your thighs and off your legs. He had been dreaming about you. More specifically, Park fucking Sunghoon, the wet dream of 90% of all of the girls at your university, had been dreaming about eating you out? There had to be a glitch in the matrix. This couldn’t be happening. You had just spent an evening with Soobin, and now—Sunghoon? 

You don’t get much time to process when Sunghoon’s warm, wet tongue runs from your dripping entrance to your already throbbing clit in one smooth motion. Clinging to the comforter, you gasp Sunghoon’s name, closing your thighs around his head, feeling him chuckle against your folds as his hands wrap around your thighs, working them back apart over his shoulders. 

There was a reason for many of the rumors that Sunghoon was involved in; most of them had a layer of truth to them. It wasn’t Sunghoon’s fault that he was good in bed or that he loved to eat pussy. There was nothing like listening to a girl squeal his name as he drove her crazy with his tongue alone, but you were something special. No one tasted or felt like you. You were driving him crazy. There was enjoying eating a girl out, and then there was enjoying eating you out. This was heaven. 

“Fuck…” Drawing the word out as he runs his fingers over your soft folds, Sunghoon groans, resisting the urge to push his hips against his mattress as he watches your arousal begin to drip and mix with his saliva. Unable to stop himself, Sunghoon uses his thumbs to spread your folds and buries his faces between your legs, hungrily lapping at you like you’re oozing nectar that will sustain him for weeks. 

Any coherent thought you once had was gone. Between Sunghoon’s tongue and the groans he was letting out between your legs, you were dumbstruck. Your thighs had already begun to quiver, your stomach tight as your orgasm hung right on the precipice with each drag over Sunghoon’s devious tongue, but it isn’t until he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks that you lose a battle you weren’t really trying to win. 

“Cumming…ah! Sunghoon!” In your mind, somewhere buried deep down under the pleasure, you could feel the shame wash over you at the same time as you wonder if you were another notch on the bedpost under your hand, but the kisses to your thigh and the sweet praises bring you back to reality. 

“Taste so good. Best fuckin’ girl. Not letting you go, swear to god.” Sunghoon was pussy drunk; he knew it and he knew that you probably knew it, but that didn’t mean the words he was muttering against your skin weren’t real. He loved the feeling of your fingers running through his hair as he licked your cum from his lips, and what Sunghoon loved even more was seeing the fucked-out look on your face, knowing he caused it. “You are so goddamn pretty. No one deserves you; do you know that?” 

He was full of pretty words as he moved up in the bed to lay over you, his lips once against pressing to yours before moving along your jaw and neck. You weren’t sure he was telling you the truth. You wanted someone to deserve you. You weren’t sure if that person was him or Soobin, but... someone. 

Furrowing your brows, you shift in bed, wanting to return the favor. Sliding your hand over Sunghoon’s jeans, you feel him push towards your hand, a soft groan slipping from his lips. 

“You don’t have to do that, Angel, but fuck... I’m so fucking hard.” 

He didn’t have to tell you that. You could feel how hard he was even through his jeans, and you knew you didn’t have to do anything; it was more that you wanted to. You knew something like this could distract you from thinking too hard. This was fun. It was easy. Thinking was too hard. 

Pushing Sunghoon to his back on the bed, you smile shyly, moving to your knees beside him. You feel his eyes on you as you slowly undo his jeans and let him help you push them down with his boxers, letting his cock rest back against his stomach, leaking heavily. 

He was a bit smaller than Soobin—of course you would never tell Sunghoon that, but despite the small size difference, it didn’t mean that his cock wasn’t just as pretty and enticing. You had found yourself taking control with Soobin, but in Sunghoon’s bed you were docile and nervous. You found yourself wanting to prove that you were good enough to be in his bed. 

“It’s yours, baby girl. Whatever you wanna do with it—ah, fuck!” Sunghoon was a talker in bed. He might not be good at words that mattered, but he could dirty talk. Only your mouth around his cock could silence him. Hissing as his stomach tightens, feeling you hollow your cheeks as you take in more of his length, Sunghoon curses under his breath. 

Normally he could handle getting head. Most girls weren’t that great at it if he were honest, and usually he wasn’t. He’d tell them how good their mouth was, that they did a good job, and he’d cum on their lips or wherever they wanted as he jerked himself off, but you—god, he didn’t have to lie to you. Instead, Sunghoon was digging his fingers into his bedding, forcing himself not to cum down your throat after thirty seconds of his cock being in your mouth. 

“So fucking good. Oh, shit. Just—slow down. Baby!” Throwing his head back, eyes rolling back as you let his tip brush the back of your throat, Sunghoon smacks the bed under his hand, pushing his feet into the mattress. You were sucking the soul out of him and not leaving a drop. If this was how Sunghoon was going to die, it was worth it. “Gonna—ah, fuck. It’s too—cumming!” 

Furrowing your brows, you close your eyes tighter when Sunghoon cums in your mouth even after warning you. The salty, sour taste hits your tongue, and rather than letting it linger in your mouth as you pull back, sucking one last time to make sure you have every last drop, you swallow. 

Sunghoon stares at you, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath when you sit back on your knees to wipe your lips clean of his cum. He was seeing double, and you literally looked like you were glowing, a halo around you like a real fucking angel. 

“You tried to murder me.” Licking his lips, Sunghoon moves one of his arms over his head to rest his head on his forearm as his eyes start to focus more. He watches the small smile form on your lips—how shy and sweet you look even as you search for your panties on the floor, reaching down to pick them up and pulling them back on. “Are you leaving me? We still have a project to work on, and I thought I had a date to the party.” 

Opening and closing your mouth a few times, you swallow hard, finally meeting Sunghoon’s eyes as he relaxes half naked on his bed as if this is a normal Friday night, which you realize it might be; the shame slipping back in your mind causes you to look away and down at the floor. “Um, I—it’s—you know... Your party starts in like an hour now and I’m not much of a partier—” 

“Y/N… seriously? What did I do wrong?” Sitting up, Sunghoon reaches for his own clothes, pulling them back on before scooting closer to you. When you still won’t look at him, shrugging and adjusting your dress over your lap, he gently cups your chin and guides your head back towards him to make you look at him. “Do you regret what happened? Should I apologize? I just—I thought you wanted me too, and I like you, so…” 

Shaking your head, you sigh and let it out on an exasperated breath, pulling away from Sunghoon. You can’t help but think he’s said this exact thing to every other girl he’s ever fucked in his bed. “I don’t know, kinda... maybe? I’m just—I’m like, what? The flavor of the week? You’ll get bored and move on? It doesn’t feel good, Sunghoon.” As soon as the words come out of your mouth, you feel a different kind of shame wash over you, Soobin’s face in your mind as you realize you’ve done something similar to both of them. “Sorry, that’s not fair. You don’t owe me anything. Neither of you…” 

Furrowing his brows at your words, especially the last, as your volume drops almost to a whisper, Sunghoon shifts closer to you and turns you towards him with both hands on your shoulders. “Could you fucking just talk to me? Not just assume shit? You aren’t the goddamn flavor of the week." Tilting his head, Sunghoon glances towards the sound of the party picking up downstairs as he licks his lips, his curiosity getting the better of him. “Wha—what do you mean, neither of you?” 

Sunghoon’s eyes follow your eyes as you look away, avoiding his eyes. He knew that look; he had given it to other people, but he hadn’t been on the receiving end before. There was someone else besides him. Who else were you hooking up with? As soon as he asks the question in his head, the answer comes to him. There is only one answer. Soobin. 

Nodding as if you had answered him yourself, Sunghoon chews at his cheek, sliding his hands along your arms, comforting you as he thinks of what to say or do, weighing his options. He could be mad. He could lash out at you for not telling him before the two of you did something, but you didn’t owe that to him. How serious were you and Soobin? From how you were acting and from what had happened between you and him, Sunghoon had to assume not very serious. So then that was something else to consider. He could ask you to tell Soobin to fuck off, or he could tell Soobin himself... But looking at your pretty face, Sunghoon could see the conflict written all over it. You liked Soobin. You liked him. You didn’t know what you wanted. 

“Does he know?” 

Shaking your head no, you blink back your tears, causing Sunghoon to move closer to you when he notices them. “Hey… none of that. Why are you crying? I’m not mad at you, baby.” 

“I’m so shitty, Sunghoon. I—who does this? I like you.” 

Nodding, Sunghoon sighs before pressing a kiss to your forehead as tears roll down your cheeks. “You aren’t shitty. It’s a shitty situation, but I’m not gonna flip my shit. Listen, I—he—” Sighing, Sunghoon groans at his own thoughts before leaning his head back in disbelief that he’s the one suggesting it. “Soobin is coming to the party tonight, right? Talk to him. We can talk it out and see what happens. Cool?” 

He made it seem so easy, like they would just shake hands and choose a winner, like you were a prize. Blinking tears from your eyes, you shrug watching Sunghoon shake his head, his thumbs sliding over your cheeks to wipe away your tears. He wasn’t the pretentious fuckboy asshole everyone made him out to be after all. 

“It’s worth trying, baby. I’m willing to see where it goes... for you.”

Sighing into the red solo cup in his hand, Soobin glances around the room, looking for a way out. He hadn’t seen you, and ironically, he hadn’t even seen Sunghoon. It wasn’t like he didn’t know anyone at the party, but this wasn’t his scene. The music was loud, smoke was making his nose feel funny, and he didn’t even like beer that much. 

Soobin wasn’t sure why he had even agreed to this. You had probably ditched on it. He didn’t blame you if you had, but Sunghoon? It was his frat house. Surely he was around here somewhere. 

Glancing towards the stairs, Soobin furrows his brows as he quickly glances away from a couple making out against the wall. That was probably the answer. Sunghoon probably had some poor, pathetic girl trapped in his bed already. Rolling his eyes, Soobin takes a big sip of his drink, starting to turn towards the front of the house when his eyes lock on to you and his stomach tightens with nerves. You were so fucking pretty. God, of course you always were... but it felt different now. You were like a beacon, so bright that it took a few seconds before it dawned on him that Sunghoon was standing behind you with his hand on your hip whispering in your ear. 

It wasn’t fair for Soobin to be upset or jealous. It made sense that you were with Sunghoon. That had been the plan; you were going to meet up with him before the party and work on the project. So why was it making it hard to breathe seeing his hand on you like that? Why did it feel like you were slipping from his fingers and into Park Sunghoon’s arms? 

Soobin downs the rest of his drink, making a sour face as he clenches his fist around the cup, and it crushes easily in his hand. He could give up, walk away, and find the door, but meeting your eyes and seeing the pretty smile on your face has him stuck where he is. There was no world where you were going to smile at him like that; he didn’t at least have a chance. 

Glancing back at Sunghoon, you watch his brows lift in question before he nods his head towards Soobin as he leans down to speak next to your ear over the music. “He looks annoyed, but when isn’t he? I’ll be around; come find me in a bit.” Nodding, you slide your fingers over his on your hip, meeting Soobin’s eyes with a smile on your face. 

“Hey.” You try to talk over the music, but your voice still sounds too small for the space that you are in, even as you move closer to Soobin. “I was—I hoped to find you. You know—that you’d come, you know, here—to the party.” 

Furrowing his brows, Soobin still can’t stop how his lips pull up in a small smile hearing your voice even under the bass of the music. Leaning in a bit closer to you, he glancing behind you, trying to find Sunghoon, but is pleased not to see him lingering. “Well, I promised I would so—” 

“You wanna maybe find somewhere quiet—” The words get cut off by a gasp when you feel your body being pushed towards Soobin’s as someone accidentally knocks into you. Lukewarm beer soaks into the front of your dress, drawing your eyes down to the wet stain starting to spread across your stomach. “Fuck…” 

Soobin had started to nod along with your suggestion. He knew how the sentence ended; you wanted to find somewhere quieter to talk, or maybe something else, but then you had landed in his arms. Letting his eyes follow the girl who had bumped into you seemingly on accident, Soobin frowns when he sees her look back at you and laugh with her friends. It hadn’t been as much of an accident as it had seemed. This was why Soobin hated these sorts of parties. People who came to these things were all assholes. The people who threw these parties were even bigger assholes. 

Taking the cup from your hand, he sighs under his breath as you pout down at your dress, stepping back to assess the damage. You would need to change, and you could feel your cheeks heating up even though no one was really paying that much attention to you; it felt like everyone’s eyes were on you. 

Linking his fingers with yours, Soobin looks for a way out when you tug at his hand, pulling him towards the stairs. That would work. He wasn’t sure what you had in mind, but as long as he was with you, he didn’t care. 

"Man, fuck off. You are too good at this.” Smirking at Heeseung’s complaint as he sinks another ping pong ball into a cup, Sunghoon’s attention is suddenly taken from the table in front of him and towards you as you guide Soobin up the steps. That hadn’t been discussed. He couldn’t help the lump that was forming in his throat at being left out. Tossing Heeseung the last ball in his hand, Sunghoon ignores his roommates questioning looks as he makes his way through the sea of people to follow you.  

“Y/N, you okay?” Soobin could actually hear himself think on the second floor. The music was still loud, but at least the bass was at a dull thud instead of threatening to bust his eardrum. 

Wiping your hand over the front of your dress, you lean back against the wall next to Sunghoon’s bedroom door, letting out a sigh. This wasn’t going how you had planned. You were starting to get a headache, and you smelled like stale beer. There was so much you wanted to say to Soobin as he looked at you with those big, puppy dog eyes... And now it was harder; the guilt was starting to wash over you again. 

“I’m fine. It’s just a dress. I—Soobin…” 

Furrowing his brows at your hesitation, Soobin takes a step towards you, resting his hand on your waist. He could feel the tension in the air. Something had changed, and now he felt like he had to do something, anything, to keep things in his favor. “What? Why do you look sad? Can’t stand it. What’s wrong, baby?” 

Your hands move to hold Soobin’s biceps when he moves closer, pressing his body against yours. You know you should tell him to wait, to just stop until the two of you have really talked, but then he calls you baby, and all your hesitation melts away. Brushing your lips against his, you whimper Soobin’s name, feeling his knee slide between your legs, pinning you to the wall in the middle of the hall. 

“You’re just needy? Maybe you missed me?” 

Where had this Soobin come from? Meeting his eyes, you whine out a yes against his lips that barely rest over yours. There was something in his eyes that was different. His gaze was locked on you, intense—possessive, as his thigh pressed against you. 

“In the middle of the hallway? And I didn’t even get an invite?” 

Sunghoon’s voice brings you and Soobin out of your lust-filled haze and back to reality. You glance at him over Soobin’s shoulder, a small smile on your face. Soobin, on the other hand, clinches his teeth and lowers his head, feeling annoyance rush through him. “Of fucking course he’d show up.” 

This had been one of the reasons you had wanted to talk to Soobin in the first place. This was your fault for not saying anything before things started to get out of hand with Soobin, but it was crazy how much both of them affected you. Sliding your hands along Soobin’s chest, you shake your head and meet his eyes as he tilts his head, obviously confused. “Don’t be like that, okay? I—see, I need to talk to you about something. Things happened, Binnie…” 

Licking his lips, Soobin glances from you to Sunghoon over his shoulder before sighing out his words. “What things?” 

“Things that maybe we can talk about in my room?” 

Sunghoon was right. You had gotten caught up in the moment, but now that you were more aware of your surroundings, you could feel the embarrassment washing over you from how many people were walking through the hall to get to other rooms. Taking Soobin’s hand, you gesture with your head towards the door, hearing him sigh one more time before he gives in. Opening the door, he let’s Sunghoon follow behind, locking it. 

“So, now does someone wanna fill me in on what I’m clearly missing?” 

You could almost feel the frustration and hesitation radiating off of Soobin as his fingers trailed from yours. Following him with your eyes first, you pout at Sunghoon before moving towards Soobin, your fingers fidgeting with the end of your dress at your thigh. “I don’t want you to be mad at me or at Sunghoon—” 

“Y/N, just tell me what the fuck happened.” 

Slightly taken back by the tone of Soobin’s voice, you drop your dress from your fingers and sigh, lifting your hands and dropping them back at your sides. It wasn’t like you were dating either one of them. You hadn’t committed yourself to either one. You hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“We did stuff, you know, like... together.” You weren’t really sure how to explain it. It wasn’t like you had fucked Sunghoon. You hadn’t fucked Soobin either, but either one could have ended up that way. “I—I like you, Soobin.” 

Tilting his head at the second part of your explanation, Soobin’s mouth opens and then closes. He was a bit confused. You and Sunghoon had “done stuff together." What, like you had done stuff with him? Now you were telling him that you liked him? It felt like Soobin was on a rollercoaster, and he had just hit the top of a drop only to get stuck with that feeling of his stomach in his throat. “Explain that to me, Y/N, ‘cause... I don’t get it.” 

Rolling his head, Sunghoon leans his head back, resting against his desk, as Soobin makes you explain yourself. It wasn’t that hard; he had figured it out so surely Soobin could do the same. “Seriously, dude? Put two and two toget—” 

“Stay the fuck out of it, Sunghoon. I’m not talking to you yet.” Soobin hadn’t meant to sound as pissed as he did when he snapped at Sunghoon, but he was confused, and it wasn’t as easy as he was trying to make it out to be. At least it wasn’t to Soobin. 

Holding his hands up, Sunghoon gives Soobin an impressed look before crossing his arms and shutting his mouth. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, you know." Your voice had gotten small. The sound of it made both Soobin and Sunghoon’s stomach’s tighten; the urge to move to you and to make you feel better is strong, but both stayed where they were and let you speak. “I do like you. I like you both. I know that’s weird and it’s stupid. I have to figure it out... I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I’m not like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Shaking your head, you furrow your brows, glancing towards the door, your voice once again dropping in volume. “I should just go home and leave you guys alone.” 

Watching you start to turn towards the door, your feet moving in that direction with that sad look on your face has Soobin headed towards you faster than he realized he could even move. With an arm wrapped around your waist, he pulls you back against his chest and rests his lips against your head, taking a deep breath of you unwilling to let you just go. “Stop it. I’m not—it’s not ideal, no, but I’m not mad. It’s confusing, yes, but I’m willing to figure it out with you.” 

You close your eyes to the feeling of Soobin’s warm breath against you, his fingers pressing against your wet dress over your stomach as he keeps you against him. “And with Sunghoon?” 

Groaning under his breath, Soobin glances towards the other man before wrapping his other arm around you and walking backwards towards the unmade bed sitting on it so you can rest on his lap. “Fuck, I guess so. Whatever this fucking means, I’ll figure out how to make it work.” 

“You make it sound like I’m a bad date.” Pushing away from the desk, Sunghoon smirks at you and Soobin once he gets closer. “And for the record, I already said I’d make it work. I’m pretty good at sharing. Seems like I’m better at it than you, Soobin.” 

Shaking his head, Soobin presses his lips to your neck, unable to stop himself when he hears you finally laugh, even if its at Sunghoon’s stupid attempt at a joke. He loved that sound—the sound of you happy. Happy looked good on you, and if he had his way, that’s how you’d always look. None of that pout on your lips like you had been just a few minutes ago. That shit had broken his heart and made him want to climb mountains to fix shit for you. 

“Shut up, Sunghoon. You talk too fucking much.” Smiling against your neck, Soobin tests the waters by sliding his hands along your hips and down to your legs, feeling them part at his touch. “I can share... a bit, if that’s what you want me to do, pretty girl.” 

Nodding, you slide your hands over Soobin’s, guiding them along your thighs and pushing your dress up as you turn your head towards his, capturing his lips between words. “Uh huh, share me, please?”  

“Greedy little angel. One just isn’t enough?” Grinning at your shy reaction and how you tuck your face against Soobin’s neck, shaking your head no to answer his question, Sunghoon runs his fingers along your warm cheek. “That’s okay, baby, but I wanna know something. You never told me. What did you and Soobin do without me? ‘Cause I’m sure he wants to know what you and I did when we played earlier.” 

That had Soobin’s attention. As jealous as he was that Sunghoon had touched you somehow, he was trying to give into it and make it work as you rocked your hips over his hardening cock. He was very curious what you and Sunghoon had been up to and why you were whining Sunghoon’s name as he chuckled your name in return, urging you to spill the details. 

“Go on, baby girl. It’s a safe space with us, right, Soobin? We won’t judge our baby.” 

Helping you spread your legs over his, Soobin nods along with Sunghoon’s words before trailing his fingers along your soft thighs. “I won’t judge you. Go ahead, sweetheart, tell him. I wanna know too.” 

Shivering to Soobin’s light touch, you arch your back, managing to roll your hips down over Soobin’s lap once again, granting yourself a deep groan against your ear. “I—mmm, fuck. Soobin and I—we... I used my hand.” Whining softly, you meet Sunghoon’s eyes as he bites his lips, nodding for you to continue. “And against my—” Stopping short out of embarrassment, you glance back to Soobin, who smiles softly at you, leaning in to nudge his nose against yours. 

“You teased me with your pussy, didn’t you, pretty? Got me so close but didn’t let me put my cock inside of you.” Soobin smiles against your lips when you shake your head, whining in protest that you weren’t teasing him. “Don’t lie to me. Don’t lie to us. You aren’t a fucking liar, Y/N. You’re a real slut when you really want it, and that’s okay, baby, ‘cause why?” 

Stealing a kiss from Soobin, you lean your head back, moaning softly to the feeling of his lips against your throat and his fingers barely brushing over the center of your panties. “You touched me. You helped me too. Ah, Binnie… please? Do it again? Put them in?” 

“That what he did? Binnie? Did Binnie fuck you with his fingers, princess?” Lifting his brow when you finally give him some attention, Sunghoon smirks at you, letting his eyes drop to Soobin’s fingers, brushing over the wet spot growing on your panties. “You give him a cute name, and yet while you were in my bed, I didn’t get any of that shit. I’m hurt—” 

“No, ‘m sorry, I didn’t know if you’d like it. Hoonie?” Pouting at Sunghoon, you watch his smirk only get wider at the shortening of his name, his hand squeezing lightly over his obviously hard cock through his jeans as he watches Soobin finally pull your panties to the side. 

“I do like it, baby. Now tell Soobin about our playtime together while you drip on his fingers.” Scoffing, Sunghoon runs his free hand over his mouth, realizing what he is saying and how lucky he is to be in this room with you and even Soobin. Nothing was going to compare to this. He was harder than he had ever been in his entire life, and he hadn’t even gotten a chance to touch you yet. It was almost enough watching another man’s fingers slide through your soft pussy lips and your thighs jerk in reaction. 

“Yeah, okay. Ah!” Biting your lips, you nod, trying to focus as Soobin’s middle finger circles your clit slowly. “Hoonie ate me out, felt really good.” 

Lifting his head towards Sunghoon, Soobin lifts his brow and rolls his eyes openly as Sunghoon grins at him. “Yeah? He made you feel good? He better. Did he make you cum with just his tongue, pretty girl?” 

Trying to remember, you lean your head back on Soobin’s shoulder as you nod once again, pushing down towards his hand. “Mmhm, yeah. He’s good, his mouth. Oh my god, Binnie, more?” 

“When I’m ready, little slut.” Soobin’s sweet voice against your ear sends shivers down your spine as his finger circles your wet hole. “What did you do for Hoonie since he was so good for you, hm?” 

Grabbing Soobin’s forearm, you feel tears gathering on the rims of your eyes as he barely pushes his finger inside of you, rocking his finger back and forth patiently waiting for your answer. When the tears roll down your cheeks, Sunghoon tilts his head, taking another step towards you to push them away gently, making sure you are okay. 

“He—oh… Uh, I—I sucked his cock, right? I did okay?” Meeting Sunghoon’s eyes, you find him smiling at you, his fingers lingering on your jaw when you finally speak up. 

“Better than okay, angel. Never had someone go down on me like that before. The things your mouth can do…” 

Soobin could feel the jealousy rising in him once again. Yes, he had gotten time with you; he had felt your skin against his, your pussy against his cock, his fingers inside of you like he was now, but Sunghoon had felt something different. Taking a breath to steady himself, Soobin nods against the side of your head. He breathes in the scent of your perfume and body wash, letting it wash over him and calm him down. He had promised to try to share. 

Pushing his finger into you deeply, Soobin feels your body react, how your walls clench around him and how you try to roll your hips over even just a single finger to get more. “You got all of that today and you still want more? You’re still fucking yourself on my finger? What else do you want, huh? My cock?” Meeting Sunghoon’s eyes, Soobin almost challenges him before he smirks and sighs against your ear giving in. “Sunghoon’s cock?” 

“Yes, yes... please? I need more. I’ve been so good for both of you, haven’t I?” 

Sunghoon couldn’t argue against that and the look on Soobin’s face told him that he couldn’t either. Though Soobin was a bit less enthused with how this was starting and he was still getting the girl, there was some poetic justice buried deep in this tangled mess. 

“Course you have, baby, but you gonna let me taste you? I don’t think it’s very fucking fair I haven’t gotten to. You can’t take anyone’s cock in this tight little hole if you aren’t stretched out a little  anyway." Soobin hisses out the last of his words against your cheek as he adds a second finger, carefully working it into you beside the first feeling your warm, wet wall throb around them. “How are you gonna sit on my cock like this? You can barely take my fingers, pretty girl. You want my tongue too?” 

Soobin’s dirty talk had you drooling and feeling dumb as you nodded along with everything he was saying. The sweet boy who had been ready to get on his hands and knees for you yesterday had you dripping like a common slut around his fingers today as Sunghoon watched curiously. 

“If that’s what you want, princess, then get your ass up and sit with me. What isn’t fair is just watching. We are sharing, so let’s fucking share.” Sitting on the bed behind you and Soobin, Sunghoon rests his back against the headboard and pats his thighs as you and Soobin look back at him. “Won’t fuckin’ ask again. Fair is fair. You can get between her legs, Binnie.” 

Biting at his tongue, Soobin slowly slides his fingers from you, listening to your pitiful whines as he does. When you stand up and move away from him, he wants to scream and pull you back, but he watches instead as Sunghoon grins at you, grabbing the end of your dress and sliding it up your legs. 

“Good fuckin’ girl, Angel. You don’t need this anymore. I didn’t get to see anything, ‘cept your pretty little cunt earlier, huh? Let’s see all of you.” 

Lifting your arms, you bite at your lips as Sunghoon helps you out of your now stained dress, leaving you in your unmatching bra and panties. Crossing your arms over your stomach, you glance down before you feel Sunghoon’s fingers on your chin lifting your head back up towards him so he can meet your eyes. "Uh, uh, none of that shit. You are perfect. Prettiest fucking girl I’ve ever had in my bed, swear to god. Come here…” 

Long, skilled fingers make quick work of the clasp of your bra so that Sunghoon can work the straps down your arms, letting you drop the garment into the floor at your feet. You watch as he shakes his head, a smirk on his lips, his fingers walking the line of the top of your panties before he helps you slide them down and letting gravity do the rest. 

“So pretty, baby.” 

Soobin’s voice brings you back to the room. Your head had started to get cloudy with Sunghoon’s fingers tracing your skin, but that voice brought you back to reality. Meeting his eyes, you smile at Soobin as he stands up and pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor before quickly getting rid of his jeans and boxers, not leaving you the only one naked in the room. 

Just like the day before, you can’t help when your eyes fall to Soobin’s cock. It surprises you again how big he is and how pre-cum is dripping from his tip as he puts his knee on the bed and reaches for you, pulling you towards him for a kiss as Sunghoon shifts to his knees undressing behind you. 

It isn’t until you feel skin against your back that you realize that Sunghoon is naked too. Hands grip your hips and you feel his cock bump against your outer thigh as Sunghoon chuckles next to your ear, hearing your soft gasp. “What? You didn’t want my clothes off too? I can put them back—” 

“No, oh my god, please don’t.” You knew that Sunghoon was teasing you. You knew that he wouldn’t get dressed again, but yet you felt like you had to beg him to stay like he was so that you could feel his firm chest against your back as his hands found your breasts and squeezed gently, bringing a moan from your throat and into Soobin’s mouth. 

“So pretty, god, I love when you sound like that. Lean back against him, Y/N. I wanna taste you so bad.” There was the whine in Soobin’s voice that you had heard yesterday. He sounded desperate again and you were dripping down your thigh because of it as Sunghoon settled back against the headboard and let you rest between his legs with his cock against your back. 

Patting your thighs, Sunghoon guides your legs over his and smiles against your neck when you do as you are told. “There you go, beautiful; give him some room to work.” 

Soobin wants to tell Sunghoon he doesn’t need his help for this, but the moment he spreads your legs for him, that all dies on his tongue at the sight. He had seen you before, but this was different; Soobin could watch the slick drip from you and run towards the bed as you anticipated him. It all had his mouth watering, and he couldn’t wait anymore. 

Sliding down in the bed, his face level with your pussy, Soobin groans as he uses his thumbs to pull your folds apart, watching how they try to stick together from how wet you are. With one last glance up at you, Soobin closes the gap and flattens his tongue against you letting you feel the drag from your ass to your clit in one slow, smooth movement. “Fuck this pussy..." Soobin wasn’t even sure what he was saying; all he knew was heaven was between your legs and he was tasting it. With each pass of his tongue through your folds, he lets his nose nudge against your clit before getting frustrated when his glasses bump against your thigh, causing him to growl into each groan. 

For you seeing Soobin between your legs, his glasses fogging up as he ate you like his last meal was a wet dream come true. You could almost see yourself covering his glasses with your cum, but after a few minutes, Soobin takes that from you when he angrily rips them from his face, putting them on the bed, making you whine out a no and making Sunghoon laugh behind you. 

“I’m sorry, baby. Are you mad, Soobin isn’t fucking you with his tongue and keeping his glasses on?” Tsking as you try to turn your face from him, Sunghoon uses one hand to turn your face back towards him as he reaches for Soobin’s discarded glasses with the other carefully putting them on himself, lifting his brows at how strong the prescription turns out to be. “You’ve got some interesting kinks, princess. Tell me, you want to fuck me harder now that I’m wearing them?” 

Moving your eyes over Sunghoon’s face, you can’t help but moan even louder when Soobin pushes his tongue into you, his thumb on your clit massaging it in tight circles. There was no way you could lie your way out of this so you just nodded instead. 

“What a little slut we have on our hands, Soobin.” Pushing the glasses up to the top of his head, his soft hair pushed back under them, Sunghoon smirks at you as your eyes follow his every move with the glasses. “Don’t you worry about them, baby girl. I’ll keep them safe right here. Why don’t you cum on his tongue like a good girl?” 

Glancing up at you and Sunghoon, Soobin groans against your folds before turning his attention fully back to you, as if demanding that you follow through with what Sunghoon is asking you to do. If Soobin had his way, you wouldn’t be cumming on anyone else’s tongue besides his. He would even keep it from Sunghoon if he could. But looking up the length of your body and feeling your hips roll against his tongue, Soobin knew that wasn’t going to happen. You were enjoying being between them both too much and he was getting off on it more than he would be willing to admit out loud. 

“Good fucking girl.” Chuckling against the shell of your ear, Sunghoon traces each of your nipples, feeling you arch against his chest. You were driving him crazy and it was making his cock throb to have you rocking your body against his as Soobin ate you out like someone who hadn’t eaten in weeks. He knew you were sweet—the best thing he had even tasted, but there was something feral about how Soobin was almost growling possessively between your legs as he licked up every last drop of your cum. It was impressive. 

“You got his face messy, Princess. The things we’d do for you. Look at that... " Fingers grip your chin tightly as Sunghoon tilts your head down so you can watch Soobin kiss your thighs, finally moving away from your pussy. “Face that has graced our university’s prestigious little newsletter so many fucking times because he’s some goody two shoes—” Smirking, Sunghoon meets Soobin’s eyes as he narrows his eyes back up at him from between your legs. “All covered in a pretty girl’s cum.” 

“Shut the fuck up, Sunghoon, and move. I’m fucking her first.” 

Sunghoon slides his hands to your waist and shakes his head as he nuzzles his nose against your neck, listening to you whine out a soft moan. You were so gone, just a dumb little fuck toy for them to play with at this point that it didn’t even matter, but it mattered to him. “No. Why the hell do you get to go first? You already got to go first—” 

Lifting your head, you lick your lips and force yourself to focus on Sunghoon and Soobin arguing. It was ridiculous and just like when the group project had begun, no one seemed to care what you thought—until you spoke up. “Why can’t I choose? It is me you’re fucking.” 

That was a good point and it caused both men to stop bickering immediately. Hands trail along your sides as Sunghoon nods along with you, his lips finding your ear as he kisses it gently. Soobin also nods, his fingers lifting yours towards his wet lips for a lingering kiss on your knuckles as he tries to wait patiently, hoping you’ll make the right decision. 

“I—” Now that you had their attention and the ball in your court, it was scary and overwhelming. Soobin’s cock was right in front of you, thick and enticing you to climb into his lap while Sunghoon’s pressed against your back, leaking on to your skin, reminding you that you could so easily let him ease you on to it. Thinking was hard, but after a moment you just sigh into a pout and meet Soobin’s eyes, making him tilt his head like a question. “Can I have both? Is that too greedy?” 

It was incredibly greedy, but it made Sunghoon’s lips pull up into a full smile as he held you closer to him. “That what you want? You want to be full?” 

The words cause your face to heat up instantly when you remember how good at dirty talk Sunghoon is. Nothing seemed to really phase him; he would just say what he wanted to and get it—just like now as you nod, turning your head to meet his eyes even with your face so close to his. 

“Fuck…” Soobin could feel his cock jerk involuntarily against his thigh at your words and the way you were shyly looking at Sunghoon. He had never done this before, but for you, he’d figure it out. From how Sunghoon was acting, this wasn’t his first rodeo and that somehow made perfect sense. If this had been any other day, Soobin might have been more annoyed. He probably would have made some comment about how much of a whore Sunghoon was, but right now he was grateful for his experience as he ushered you into Soobin’s arms and sighed. 

“What—” Closing his eyes as you wrap your arms around his neck, Soobin groans, feeling you slide over his thigh. Your warm, wet pussy gliding over his skin almost scrambles his brain as he tries to keep his wits about him and ask logical questions. “Pretty girl, you’re killing me.” Scooting along the bed with you to where Sunghoon once was, Soobin rests against the headboard, letting you rock your hips over his thigh. Holding your hips, he glances from you towards where Sunghoon searches through the nightstand beside the bed on the other side of the room. “The fuck are you looking for?” 

Making a triumphant sound as he holds up a small bottle of lube and a couple of condoms, Sunghoon glances back towards you and Soobin before letting out a low groan at the sight. “Baby… I was hurrying. So fucking desperate you are trying to get off on his thigh like a cat in heat?” Dropping the items on the bed beside you, Sunghoon leans to kiss your shoulder before groaning in disbelief as you lean your head back and rest your hands on Soobin’s shoulder for stability, trying hard to get yourself off as he looks down at you. “Our pretty little needy slut. You want me to fuck your ass? Huh? Yeah, well, you are gonna have to let me prep it first or it’s gonna hurt too much.” 

Suddenly your hips come to a stop, your orgasm lingering on the edge as Sunghoon slaps your hip. You watch him offer one of the condoms to Soobin as he puts the other between his teeth, ripping the foil open with ease. With one small shuddered groan, Sunghoon manages to roll the condom on and turns his attention back to the bottle of lube. 

“Be gentle with her. Be still, baby.” Cooing into his words, Soobin runs his fingers along your cheek to your hairline, never taking his eyes off you. He hadn’t minded feeling you grind on his thigh, but he could understand why Sunghoon wanted you to be still. He didn’t want any of this to hurt you. He was glad it seemed that he was going to be the one who was going to be in your pussy; the idea of doing anything else made Soobin’s anxiety spike. He had been told enough times that his cock was big, including by you, but he wasn’t ready to try to figure out the logistics of what Sunghoon was doing. 

“Yeah, be still, baby. Hoonie is trying to work... Sit up on your knees for me, Princess; let me see that ass. Fuck…” This wasn’t something that Sunghoon had done often. None of these supplies were his, but the person he was borrowing from had invited him to participate in a couple threesomes and he had watched it being done. Warming the lube between his fingers, Sunghoon rests his free hand on your ass before he carefully drags his lubed fingers over your tight hole, watching it clench. “Relax.” 

That was easier said than done, but taking a deep breath, you nod and lean your forehead on Soobin’s shoulder, arching your back to let yourself give into the experience. The first finger up to Sunghoon’s knuckle has you digging your toes into the bedding as your breath caught in your throat until he eases his finger in more, letting more of the cold lube run between your ass and over his fingers with each slow movement. 

“Okay, Angel?” 

“Mmhm. Feels weird, but I like it.” 

Sunghoon could tell you were already pushing your hips back towards his finger after just a couple minutes of him letting you get used to one. “Want another? And how ‘bout a distraction?” 

Nodding quickly to both, you glance over your shoulder to Sunghoon, finding him smirking at you. “Yeah, Hoonie, please? I’m—it feels good, but I’m empty. I want something. I wanna do something.” 

Soobin furrows his brows and leans his head to the side to watch Sunghoon’s fingers as he holds your ass firmly with one hand and slides his finger out almost all the way before putting them together and slowly pushing them back in. The sound that comes out of your mouth is enough to make Soobin wish he were already inside of you or that he prayed more often. 

“That’s it… You are so tight, beautiful. Gotta stretch you out, huh?” Nodding towards Soobin, Sunghoon keeps his brows furrowed in concentration as you dig your nails into Soobin’s shoulders. “You have a perfect distraction in front of you, Princess. Mark him up, make him pretty. The other girls around campus won’t know what the fuck happened when Choi Soobin shows up on Monday.” 

Whining under his breath, Soobin meets Sunghoon’s eyes before glancing down into yours as you smile at him. He wasn’t against it, but it wasn’t the other girls he was concerned about. He had classes and professors who looked at him like he was going to be part of leading the next generation on the business front, and he couldn’t really be covered in hickies. “I—just nothing visible—” 

“Yes visible. Baby, let them see who you own. Fuck that. You want us both, right? I’d be proud to wear them. You aren’t proud, Binnie? 

With his eyes darkening with a challenge, Soobin grits his teeth before baring his neck for you. This wasn’t how he was going to lose to Sunghoon. He wasn’t going to prove he was more worthy of you just because he was more willing to display that he had been in bed with you. That was ridiculous; Soobin wasn’t ashamed of it… He’d gladly take anything you gave him, no matter who saw the lingering marks—classmates, professors, or his parents. 

Running your fingers along Soobin’s neck, you whimper under your breath as Sunghoon’s fingers scissor into you slowly. It was tempting to mark Soobin and to leave him ruined for anyone else. You wanted to do it to both of them. You did want both of them. You perhaps didn’t know how much you wanted it until Sunghoon said it and then you couldn’t help yourself. 

At first you simply press a kiss to Soobin’s neck, enjoying the soft groan that spills from his lips, but quickly the kisses turn into bites as you suck on his skin, which has him holding on to you tightly. With each deep thrust of Sunghoon’s fingers, another finger added, lust drips from you and finds its way to Soobin as you moan against his skin, making him yours. 

Feeling his third finger moving with a bit more ease inside of you, Sunghoon smirks when you start to pant into your moans against Soobin’s throat. He could see the red splotches covering the other man’s skin and he couldn’t lie to himself and say he didn’t want that for himself. He wanted you to mark him as much as he wanted to mark you. He wanted to ruin you for anyone else besides him. The only fucking person he would ever let touch you again would be Soobin and that was only because it’s what you wanted. 

“Gonna cum? From me fingering your ass? My dirty little princess is full of surprises.” Sunghoon listens to you sob out a moan when his fingers slip from you and leave you empty and right on the edge of your orgasm, once again edging you. “I love when you cry like that, Angel. I’d rather you cum on a cock. You wanted them so bad, you’ve made Soobin wait... sit on it.” 

That was music to Soobin’s ears. His skin was on fire and he was starting to be afraid he was going to cum from just your mouth on his neck. Leaning his head back for a deep breath, Soobin licks his lips and focuses his eyes on you. “Ready, baby?” Sliding his hand to your hip, he strokes his cock from tip to base one time with the other, keeping himself in place for you. 

“Mhm, please? Sunghoon is being bossy.” 

Your voice is quiet and teasing, but just loud enough for Soobin to hear, making him laugh. Nodding along with you, he starts to speak to tell you that you are right, when all words die on his tongue as you slide your hips forward and over his shaft and fingers much like you had the day before. 

“Don’t tease me, Y/N.” 

You could tell that Soobin was being serious, and yet it was too tempting to keep teasing him. You almost wanted to see what would happen if you kept teasing him. In your mind, you could picture him throwing you down on the bed and fucking you hard and fast. Every scenario in your mind had you dripping over and more over his fingers and cock so when he does finally snap, growling your name, you barely have time to react. 

“I said don’t fucking tease me. You want to be bossed around, little slut?” Fingers dig into your hip as Soobin pulls you against his chest and nudges his cock into your entrance, lowering you down over him carefully. “You want me to just use you like a toy?” 

“You know she does. She’s pushing your buttons for a reason, Soobin.” Knocking one of Soobin’s legs to the side, Sunghoon moves to his knees behind you as he strokes his cock, his hand covered in the same lube he had used to prep you. “Just wants her little holes filled up so she doesn’t have to think, right princess?” 

Sunghoon waits until Soobin has you settled completely on his cock before he repeats the process he had with his finger with the head of his cock. He watches how you clench around nothing before he painstakingly eases himself into you, letting you adjust and fall forward towards Soobin. 

There are no words spoken at first, only moans and deep breaths, as each one of you has to focus on not letting go in that exact moment. You feel overwhelmingly full and Sunghoon and Soobin struggle with how tight you suddenly are and how even without moving they can almost feel each other inside of you, making their head’s spin with how different it is. 

“Shit… Someone’s gotta move. She’s too tight. I’m gonna cum if we don't.” 

Nodding along with Sunghoon’s pleas, Soobin holds your hips steady as he makes the first move, rocking his hips up towards yours. A chorus of moans fills his ears, including his own, causing him to repeat the motion only deeper and harder than the first. 

Sunghoon rests his head forward on your shoulder, letting Soobin move you over him like a toy. He knew he should be trying to do more, but you felt so tight around his cock that he felt like he was going to explode at any moment. You sounded too good and the entire experience was too good; he shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as he was—but he was just letting himself go. 

You were too far gone. You were full and the moment that Soobin started to move, that was it. There were no more thoughts that could ever enter your mind. There were only Soobin and Sunghoon. You didn’t need anything else to survive. No water or food would ever sustain you like they would. Only being in their arms, having them in your life, or them making you feel this good could keep you alive. 

No one had to tell Soobin or Sunghoon that you were going to cum. You weren’t saying any words that made sense at this point, only whines and their names, but they didn’t need words to tell them what was coming. Your body was telling them everything. Even though Sunghoon wasn’t the one you were cumming around, it didn’t matter; he could feel it. You were tighter and it took him over the edge with you so quick that he didn’t have time to catch his breath. 

Soobin tried to commit the moment to memory for the rest of his life as if this would never happen again. The feeling of your soft walls closing on his cock as he buried himself completely inside of you, only to feel how you didn’t want to let him go when your orgasm ripped through you. Nothing about how his own climax followed suit was elegant, but it was something he would remember as Soobin groaned your name loudly and thrust into you hard and fast, hearing not only you but Sunghoon say his name when he came hard. 

You weren’t sure who moved you or cleaned you up, but it wasn’t until the sun was peeking through the window the next morning that you realized that you were still in Sunghoon’s room. Lifting your head, you furrow your brows, feeling an arm over your stomach and legs tangled with yours. 

On one side of you, Sunghoon had his cheek squished into a pillow of a bed that he and Soobin had apparently pushed together with his in order to make a bed big enough for the three of you to sleep in. On the other side, Soobin lay on his back, arm over his eyes, letting you get a clear view of your art work beginning to bloom along his neck. 

Glancing down, you bring the shirt covering your upper half to your nose, realizing you don’t recognize it but it must be one of Sunghoon’s. They had even taken time to dress you after you passed out. Your body was sore; you felt like you could lay back down between them and sleep the day away, but then your mind starts to wander and the confusion and shame starts to seep in, causing you to look for the emergency exit as you wiggle from under the sheet, trying not to wake either of them. 

“Where are you going, baby?” Peeking under his arm as you struggle with the sheet tangled around your foot near Sunghoon, Soobin yawns under his breath before stretching. You were even cuter this morning. God, he was screwed when it came to you. He had never cooperated so much with Sunghoon in his life as he did when you had fallen asleep and they had to clean you up. Reaching for his glasses, Soobin pushes them up his nose and rocks his neck back and forth as he sits up, watching you settle on your knees in the middle of the bed, realizing you had gotten caught. 

“Um… nowhere?” 

“Liar… You moved my covers. It’s cold. Can’t you lie to me from under the covers, Princess? Come back to bed.” Sunghoon’s voice is whiny and makes your heart tighten as he reaches blindly towards you, his fingertips running over your knee before resting on your leg as he yawns. 

“I think—I thought maybe I should go home. Let you guys do whatever it is you do—” 

“Ouch. The walk of shame?” Sighing louder, Sunghoon turns on his back, exasperated that you had made him get out from under the covers and look at you. 

Opening your mouth and closing it a few times, you shake your head before looking down in defeat and nodding while shrugging. “I guess so. It was just sex, right? So I just need to bite the bullet and put on my big girl pants and get over it.” 

Looking around in confusion, Soobin runs his fingers through his hair before Sunghoon laughs and sits up, putting his face in his hands, still laughing as you whine his name embarrassed. 

“It’s not funny, Sunghoon! Oh my god… Why are you making fun of me now? Was I that much of a joke—” 

Reaching out for your arm, Sunghoon pulls you back towards the top of the bed where he and Soobin are, causing you to gasp in surprise by being forced to move so suddenly. “I am making fun of you, idiot. You aren’t a joke, but this is some kind of joke if you think you are still the flavor of the week. I already told you that I like you. I don’t pass that out like currency, Y/N.” When you wiggle in his arms, Sunghoon rolls his eyes and looks down at you annoyed before looking at Soobin for help. 

“We said we’d figure it out, Y/N. Don’t you want to?” Shifting a bit closer on the bed, Soobin holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger, making you look at him. “I don’t sleep around and I don’t do this. I don’t have threesomes, especially with—” Letting out a sigh, realizing he doesn’t want to fight with Sunghoon or push his buttons, despite their past relationship, Soobin tilts his head and leans down to push his lips against yours as you rest against Sunghoon’s chest. “Wanna give it a try?” 

You must still be asleep. This must be a weird, fucked up, wet dream that you were going to wake up from. Opening your eyes, you glance down at your arm before pinching it and wincing loudly, causing both Sunghoon and Soobin to laugh in disbelief. “I’m not dreaming.” 

"No, you idiot... God, you are so cute.” It was Sunghoon’s turn to kiss you; if you thought you were dreaming, he wanted to help you realize you weren’t and it wasn’t fair that Soobin had already gotten a kiss and he hadn’t. Letting his lips linger on yours, Sunghoon lets his fingers fall from your jaw and watches you open your eyes once more, your chest rising and falling quickly as you seem to realize it’s all real and you nod. 

“Two boyfriends is a pretty good deal, Princess. We are both smart, handsome, and wealthy. We’d spoil—” 

Loud knocking at the door makes you jump against Sunghoon and Soobin’s arms before you all hear a loud sigh and a pleading voice. “Just tell them yes and get the fuck out of my room. I need to get some clothes and take a shower!” 

Wincing at Heeseung’s voice, Sunghoon gives you a strained smile before looking around the room and back at the door. “Can—hey Hee? Can you give us like an hour?” 

“No! Fuck, no man!” 

More insistent knocking makes you wince and recoil in the bed as Sunghoon slips out from one side and mutters under his breath towards Soobin. “We gotta move his bed back and don’t fuckin’ mention I used his shit from his nightstand. He’s sensitive about that shit.” Looking back at you, Sunghoon winks and waves his hand towards you to get you moving. “Up, princess. Heeseung’s being a little bitch. We have to move our beautiful moment.” 

“Sunghoon, you’re the bitch. What’s that sound? Did you move my bed again?” 

READ THE SVT VERSION NOW

Your boyfriend had called you over about fifteen minutes ago, after a dreadful award show neither of you wanted to go to, but you hadn’t seen him for months prior to them accepting the trophy. One glance and all the memories from before he left crossed your mind: the heat, the hands, the clothes scattered everywhere but your bodies. You missed him more than just a little bit, and the late-night phone calls, and secret pictures weren’t enough to tide you over anymore. 

He wore that stupid tuxedo that he knew you liked. The same one you’d practically ripped off the last time you met him in a hotel. And you wore that stupidly short black dress you knew he couldn't resist. 

He eyed you all night like a wild animal ready to pounce. You didn’t have to wait long for the text. Actually, it took about 30 minutes less than you planned. It was too bad you couldn't follow him around anymore, meddling about in various hotels under different names. 

The anticipation rose as you walked the dimly lit hallways, flashes of skin on skin behind your eyelids making you dizzy. Oh, how you’ve longed to smell his cologne and feel his hands all over you. How you’ve craved the attention only he could give you. You wanted it…bad. You weren’t convinced you’d feel alive until he was there, in front of your face, whispering stupidly intoxicating things. 

Then he was. 

“Babe,” Your heart skipped a couple beats when his hand gripped your wrist, pulling you into the dark room with him. “Are you actually a vampire? Why are the lights off?” 

“Fuck,” His hands were caressing your waist in an instant, dragging the fabric along with every pull and push. “Do you know what you do to me? I missed you so bad.”

“Evidently,” You laughed, arms locking behind his head and bringing him closer to your face, “You didn’t even change. Impatient, much?”

A smirk formed on his face, “Why would I when I know what it does to you?” He was cocky…and horny. A deadly combination when it came to Jake. You would know. However, you weren’t exactly dry right now but, you’ve always been able to hide it better than him. Or so you liked to think.

“Oh?” You breathed out, placing a hand on his chest. Your breaths mixed with the lust in the air, the eye contact nothing short of tempting. “Why exactly do you think I kept this on?” He was about to lean in and close the distance when you pushed, the back of his knees colliding with the edge of the bed and making him sit. You wasted no time climbing onto his lap, silently dragging the fabric up to expose more of your legs—arguably one of his top three favorite features on you. 

He huffed, fingers digging into the plush of your thighs. Your hand reached between the two of you, coming in contact with his slacks, “‘Cause I know exactly how hard it makes you,” You pushed down, not hard enough to hurt him, but to elicit a groan from him. 

He never broke your sight, staring up at you with those wide eyes that gave nothing to the imagination. You could read him as well as he could you. And you knew your little powertrip was only lasting so long before he had you at his mercy, spread out on the sheets of this hotel room bed. 

You, truthfully, hoped he’d take over soon. 

“Couldn’t take my eyes off you all night. Kept imagining all the things I needed to do to you.” 

Your head cocked, “Needed?” 

“Need you, babe.” He reaffirmed, grabbing under your thighs to hoist you up along with him as he got to his feet. “Think about you all the time…how pretty you sound under me. How much you come around me. Everything about—fuck—I just missed you so much, y/n. This fucking tour has kept me away from you for long enough, don’t you think?” 

You practically whimpered in response, taking in every word he’d just said to you. Maybe you weren’t actually so good at hiding it. 

But you were no one else’s, and happy about it, that was for sure. 

“Jake?” Your soft eyes met his and he hummed, letting the tension be cast aside for the moment, “I love you.” 

A smile spread across his whole face, “I love you too, baby.” 

Before you finally pressed your lips together, you spat out a quick, “Record it.” under your breath, which he swears almost made his knees buckle. 

And then it's like the dam had broken, all the still air in the room finally moving as he kissed you back forcefully—a little bit desperately—a mix of teeth and tongue and lack of shame. 

You were back on the bed quickly, this time the roles reversed, you on your back fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, the suit jacket discarded the moment you hit the sheets. His toned body was finally revealed, a relieved breath leaving your nose. You missed seeing him so primally raw.  

It was a little comical how fast he broke away and stumbled to set his phone up, you holding it in his view with a curious glint in your eyes. After you’d dragged it out of his back pocket. He almost tripped over the carpeting, obviously excited, causing you to finally laugh. 

You watched, balanced on your elbows. His back muscles were on full display, and pants unbuttoned as he made sure the angle was perfect. 

Once satisfied, he turned back to you, a shit-eating smirk on his face. He admired how perfect you looked, and how much better it would be once you were finally out of that dress that hugged every part of your body perfectly. “You’re gonna be the death of me, by the way.” 

You huffed, “I'd hope so.” 

He grumbled softly, throwing his head back in disbelief just before he joined you on the bed—on top of you—body to body. “You’re so stunning, I can’t believe I’ve been using anything but you for months.” He was spitting out whatever came to mind, grabbing the edge of the dress to pull it over your head, “Wasn’t the same…isn’t the same…” Until you were left in nothing but a lacy pair of black panties. 

You smiled, ushering him onto you, “Well, now you have something to remember me by,” His body was pressed to yours in an instant, kissing along your exposed top half and up to your jaw. “Don’t forget.”

“Hard to,” Jake groaned into your skin as you lifted your hips to meet his rhythmically. 

In record time he was out of his clothes, dragging the last piece of clothing blocking you from him down your legs. 

He kissed your thighs, almost patiently, like he was trying to make you beg for it. “As much as I’d love to eat this pussy right now, I’ve gotta be inside you.” Evidently, though, the one begging for it wasn’t you. “I’ll just eat you out after I’ve come in you, and in the shower and—I don’t know,” He was mumbling the last bit against your skin. And, though he was trying to be hot, you laughed again—his lips the only scorching thing at the moment. You hoped he’d watch the video back and hear how down-bad he was for you in actuality, you wanted him to know that you had him just as wrapped around your fingers as he did you. 

Then, you were gripping his hair, tugging him up to face you. “Hurry up then, Jake.” 

Your boyfriend did not have to be told twice. He was hiking your legs up to your chest in an instant, holding you folded together by the back of your thighs, your hands coming up to assist, resting under your knees. 

Jake felt his stomach twist with not only anticipation but fondness. He thought you looked beautiful put-together and vanilla scented but, he definitely thought you were the most beautiful all messy and desperate for him; crying out his name, and racking your nails across his shoulder blades. He thought you looked so beyond heaven-sent in whatever form you decided to present him with that day: sick and sleepless, full-face and dressed up, anger-ridden within his hoodie—whatever it was, he adored you to no end. And, that’s why the last tour (time away) has been particularly difficult. 

Your eyes rolled back at the first, long-awaited, stretch of him sliding into you. “Look,” He demanded, “Watch how well you take it, baby.” 

You squeezed your legs tighter, “J-Jake,” 

He spoke over you, “Even after all this time, you’re still made for me, angel. Such a perfect, fuck, everything.” 

He bottomed out quickly, skin to skin, and waited for you to say something…anything. But, honestly, he just needed a moment to calm down before he came within record speed. 

One of his hands left your leg, coming to softly lay against your cheek. He swiped his thumb sweetly over it, catching your hazy gaze. He could do a whole 180; reminding you of how tight you felt around him and how much of slut you were for letting him do such filthy things to you, or he’d remind you through cotton-candy words about how much he loved you and how perfect you were in every aspect. 

You wondered what you were going to get. 

“Angel,” He hummed, moving his hand swiftly to the back of your head and tangling into your hair tightly. He jolted it up, a loud squeak leaving your lips at the action. “I told you to look.” 

Your eyes opened weakly, catching his gaze for a second before traveling between your intertwined bodies. You didn’t have to see him fully inside you to know he was. Was he stupid? You definitely could feel it. 

What was he trying to accomplish? 

“Tell me how much you need it, tell me how much you needed—missed me, baby,” And, then he revealed his whole plan, “Say it loud for the camera.” 

He pulled out almost all the way before slamming his hips back into yours. You groaned, fighting his grip to lul your head back into the pillow. 

He set a steady—harsh—pace. “You were just talking so much, what happened?” 

You whined, letting go of the leg he did moments before and grabbing his wrist behind your head. Said leg fell beside his hip, which he didn’t notice, or frankly care about at the moment. 

“Go ahead, baby, tell me.” 

All thoughts died within your head when he let your other leg go, moving his hand to thumb over your clit steadily. 

You honestly didn’t know how he was so composed. But, you guess, Jake never has been one to not be in control when he was the one in control. 

“I-I missed you so much,” Your eyes closed, too overwhelmed to be able to do multiple things at once, “Nothing was the same…those stupid phone calls. The-they made it worse,” 

“Good girl,” 

“Needed you so bad it hurt.” 

He let your head fall back, unraveling your hair from his fingers. “Well, I’m here now.” He whispered against your jaw as he dipped his head. Jake was messy, and his lips over your skin was no exception. “Let me feel it, y/n, please. Show me how bad you missed me.” 

He caught your lips against his when your mouth slightly parted, a breathy whine leaving it and being swallowed up by your boyfriend. His tongue was instantly inside your mouth, a mixture of teeth and saliva and (once again) lack of shame. 

He didn’t care when it was you. He could let every guard down if it meant he got to be insatiable with you. 

“Show the camera, make me remember when I’m gone.” 

But, he’d never actually forget. 

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Everything about this town was boring. 

The scenery was boring. The activities were boring. The people were boring.

Just… everything. 

Your coven had sent you here because of the apparent magical aura you so, as they said, “desperately needed to achieve your full potential”. Bullshit, for all you cared. The magical aura might have been strong, but it was so deeply rooted into the earth, you had trouble reaching it even after hours of channeling your own powers. Of course, you didn’t tell them that. All they knew was that you were having a blast in this shithole of a town and had already made tons of friends. 

So far no one had questioned your answers and so you just lived your life, hoping you would soon succeed in attaining the magical power of this place and go back to your normal life. 

Recently, though, you at least had something a little less boring gracing you every other day. Jake Sim - the neighbor from across the street. He was handsome and a little shy and very obviously did not believe magic existed. Not that you cared much about that, no, you had been exposed to many people who didn’t believe in you and your kind, not to mention all the other supernatural beings walking on the face of earth. 

Jake was a non-believer and wonderful to look at and you were fine with that. Content. More than happy. 

As you were brewing some potions a few of the older women around town had ordered (while they also didn’t exactly believe in magic, they at least believed in your ability to brew things that were extremely efficient in their gardens), you found yourself thinking about the pretty man again. About his laugh and his eyes, about the way his shirt would rise up and show a bit of his happy trail leading down to something you could only wish to see fully exposed one day. 

Truthfully, the last time you got laid had been ages ago. So long that you couldn’t even really remember who it was with and where. It was a curse, this town, and seeing a young attractive man stalking into your store a few weeks back had suddenly brought back the desire you had managed to suppress for who knows how long. 

Just then, as you were deep in thought, cutting up some lavender, the door opened and the little bell above it rang, bringing you back to the present. 

“Hi Y/N!” 

Jake had his puppy smile on, hair blown out of his face and a thick coat hanging off his shoulders. He walked over to the counter and you smiled up at him, catching yourself finding his flushed cheeks extremely endearing.

“Jake, welcome. Anything I can do for you today or are just here for another chat about how magic can’t be real?” You tilted your head and gave him a playful smile that he answered with a little laugh.

“Actually, I did come for something today. Mrs. Bloodstean said you have some great tonics for flowers?”

Ah, yes, Mrs, Bloodstean, the woman three houses down who had trouble with her roses. You had helped her and now her roses bloomed all year round. 

“I do indeed, Mr. Sim. What can I get for you?”

“Well, I’ve been having some troubles with my Mandevillas… they don’t seem to wanna bloom as much as, uh, I would like them to.”

His sheepish grin would have made your knees weak if you’d been standing. You nodded and got up, checking the shelves behind you for the potion he’d need to get his flowers to grow and bloom as much as he liked. Eyes roaming over the different bottles, you soon came to the realization you were out and clicked your tongue.

“Seems like I’ll have to brew one. That’s gonna take a couple minutes, do you want some tea while you wait?”

Jake nodded yes and smiled, turning around to do this usual routine through the rows of shelves in your store. From a safe distance, he began to watch you do your thing, cutting up ingredients and throwing them into a miniature cauldron Jake couldn’t help but be amused by. A witch store in the middle of this small town, run by one of the most attractive women Jake had ever laid his eyes on. 

When he had first stumbled in here, he had mistaken it for an alternative medicine shop. While he wasn’t totally wrong, he also wasn’t fully correct. You did offer some remedies and lotions, some potions and tonics, but you also had crystals and salts and books in your many high rising wooden shelves. The first day, he had spent hours just browsing through the books, not thinking of actually buying anything, but somehow being immersed into this world of magic he was so sure could only exist in fiction. 

He hadn’t even noticed someone working at the front behind the counter until he turned to leave, almost stumbling over his feet when he spotted you. You concentrated on a page in an old looking book, biting down onto your tongue that was slightly sticking out of your mouth. You with the prettiest face he had ever seen, that made it so hard to look away. 

After that, he came back every other day, hoping to talk to you, get to know you and maybe ask you out on a date. Of course, he never did because if Jake was anything it was a coward. It didn’t matter that he somehow happened to be handsome, his charisma was in the trenches. 

It was obvious he didn’t see the effect he had on you, which made it even more fun to have him around in your store. You could sense that this man did not have one indecent thought about you while in the store, even when you wore low cut shirts or skirts with slits almost as high as your hip. No, he was a good boy, a sweet boy. The contrast of the two of you was almost comical - you thinking about what it would be like to feel him, to taste him, to push him against a bookshelf and have your way with him and Jake just wanting to man up to ask you out. 

Circling back to the front, Jake saw you hard at work and decided to fill his tea cup by himself, the steaming blue teapot on the right side of the counter. Smiling, he brought the cup to his lips and took a sip, his eyes widening at the sweet taste. 

God, that’s delicious!

The hotness of the drink seemed to fade into the background as the taste spread on his tongue, so sweet and wonderful his eyes almost rolled back, the liquid making his whole body feel warm and fuzzy, and without even noticing he finished the whole cup in one go. 

“Wow, that tea is amazing! What kind is it? I don’t think I’ve ever had it before.” Jake put the cup back down and beamed at you. 

Blinking, you looked up at the brown-haired man, your mind a little slow at catching up with what Jake said. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, brows furrowing slightly.

“The tea you made me, what kind is it?” He repeated, pointing at the teapot next to him. 

Your eyes widened for a brief moment, then you slowly got up.

“How much did you drink of that?” You asked calmly. 

“A whole cup, it’s like so, so good, how-,”

“A whole cup?!” The volume of your voice surprised both of you and Jake’s eyes widened in surprise, his mouth dropping open a little.

“Was that- was I not supposed to? I- I’m sorry, you seemed busy, so I just helped myself.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds. Watching Jake’s confused face, trying to read his thoughts. He had absolutely no idea what he just drank. But you did. 

A grin found its way onto your lips, a grin so diabolical it made Jake’s stomach turn. 

“That’s not your tea, Jakey,” you said, pointing at the teapot he drank from, “your tea is over here.”

Jake followed where your finger pointed next, a small black teapot standing to your left, all done with a cute little pink cup next to it. He blinked a few times.

“Then- then what is this?” He asked, nervousness beginning to spread through his body. Your grin deepened.

“Oh, that? That’s just the very, very powerful aphrodisiac for Mrs. Brown’s husband. See, he can’t really get it up anymore.”

Silence. Jake felt like the whole world had suddenly gone silent at your words. But then he remembered where he was, who you were and how incredibly unlikely it was that this really worked. So, he snorted.

“Right. An aphrodisiac in the form of tea, I’m sure that’s gonna work wonders with Mr. Brown.”

“Not just him, but you too, you know,” you began to walk around the counter, stopping when you reached the other side, leaning against it with crossed arms, “and you’re only supposed to drink one sip of it. You, dear Jakey, drank a whole fucking cup.”

Honestly, Jake still didn’t believe you. Or at least he thought he didn’t. But something about the way you looked at him almost made him falter. He laughed and shook his head.

“Come on, Y/N, I’m not an idiot. This obviously isn’t going to work, it’s a hoax, we all know it’s a hoax.”

“Is it though, Jake? Is it really a hoax?”

“What? Of course it is! Magic isn’t real, can’t be real, this tea surely won’t help Mr. Brown get an erection and I, my friend, more than anything, will not get aroused by some fake viag-,”

Oh shit. Jake couldn’t help the deep moan escaping his throat when he suddenly felt the hardest wave of pleasure hit his body. He almost dropped to his knees, his cock growing harder by the second, pressing against the seam of his jeans, making them uncomfortably tight. 

“You won’t get aroused, Jake? Yes? Is that right?” You were having the time of your life. This was better than anything you could have ever predicted. By Mystra, how could you have forgotten about the tea for Mrs. Brown? And how lucky were you for Jake to mistake it as his own? You couldn’t believe your luck. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Jake groaned now, his chest heaving and you tilted your head again, watching sweat form on the handsome man’s forehead. His pupils were blown and his face flushed and, fuck, did he look good. 

“I would say the potion is kicking in. How does it feel?” You bit your lip, watching Jake struggle to find words for what was happening inside… and outside of him.

“I- well, oh fuck, it, uhm, it feels… it feels like, like I’ve never- like it’s so.. it’s so h-hard, you know?”

“Hm, I don’t think I do. Perhaps you can show me, just so I can check if it all looks normal?”

Jake’s cock twitched at that. You wanted to see? Check if it looked normal? Another moan made its way through his lips and it sounded so utterly pathetic you felt yourself drip into your panties.

“Wh- what do you mean “normal”? C-Could it look, like, n-not normal?” He was sweating. A part of him really wanted you to see, to check, to maybe even touch him, but another felt shy, didn’t want this to happen before taking you out to a nice dinner, maybe even a movie and- 

Fuck, who was he kidding? 

“I don’t know, that’s why I wanna check. Will you show me, Jakey?” 

“F-fine, b-but only to check!” His cheeks were on fire at this point. His cheeks on fire and his cock hard as a rock, aching and throbbing and probably aggressively red at the tip. 

That last prediction proved to be correct when he pulled down his pants and briefs at once, his cock springing free, standing harder and prouder than he had ever seen it. He whimpered at the sight. 

And you? You almost fell to your knees, itching to touch him, to lick over the tip that was already leaking so, so miserably. Oh good lord. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip again and you swallowed hard, eyes glued to the huge cock Jake had been hiding from you.

“Is it- is it always this big?” You asked, not even looking into Jake’s face anymore.

“Well, n-not when it’s not, uhm, you know… h-hard.”

“So it’s this size even when no potion is involved?” You wanted to know.

“Y-yeah, that didn’t change.”

“Holy fuck,” you mumbled, your hand wanting to grab around him so badly, but you contained yourself. 

“What- what can we do? Like is there an antidote? Can I- can I drink another potion? Or maybe there is, uhm, fuck, a spell or something?”

You chuckled.

“Now you believe in spells, Jakey? Funny timing,” finally, you raised your head to look at him again, “but no, there is no antidote. Like I said, it’s made to help get it up and given in a specific dose. But you, my dear, drank probably thrice as much as necessary.”

“So what does that mean? I- I can’t just go home like this!”

He was right about that. Everyone would see him sporting the largest boner known to mankind. And right now, you decided, this was only for your eyes. 

“I think the best way to deal with it is to, frankly speaking, empty it.”

Stars seemed to dance around Jake’s head when you spoke, the image of you rubbing his cock, sucking on it or even bouncing on it to empty him of all his cum… he twitched aggressively. 

“S-so, wh-what are you sug-suggesting?” His heart was speeding in chest and he was trying his hardest not to jump to conclusions. 

Yet another devilish grin spread on your lips as you raised your hand and snapped your fingers, closing the blinds of the storefront window and locking the door all at once. In any other situation, Jake would have been freaked out, but right now all he could concentrate on was the way you pushed yourself off the counter and looked at him from head to, well, problem.

“I am suggesting, Jake, that it would only be right of me to help you out.”

Jake swallowed hard, glued to where he was standing, his cock still so unbelievably hard, still aching and throbbing and in desperate need of attention. 

As you lowered yourself, knees soon hitting the wooden floor, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Do you want me to help you out?”

“God, yes, please.”

And there it was. All that you needed to finally bring your hand to his cock. He immediately moaned, head falling back as his hips moved forward, thrusting into your grip. You chuckled as you slowly began to move, bringing your thumb to his tip, gathering all of the already leaking precum to use as lubricant. 

It already brought you immense pleasure, jerking him off. Staring up at him, seeing nothing but pure lust and desperation on his face. You were throbbing between your legs, wetness building up more every passing moment. 

“Fuuuuuck, yeah, j-just like that, oh wow.” 

Jake felt like he had never been touched like this before. Every bit of friction against his skin was like the first time. Every inch you touched with your hand was burning, sparkling with something he could only describe as magic. He couldn’t stop the desperate moans even if he tried, couldn’t stop his hips chasing your hand, thrusting into it like a mad man. 

“Faster, please!” He cried out and you obeyed, speeding up your hand. Your eyes were glued to his cockhead then, watching how precum kept leaking, drips landing on your floor or the briefs that were hanging around his ankles with his jeans. 

You worked your hand faster, having trouble closing it around his big shaft and finally adding the second, working him at double speed with his cockhead still peaking out. 

God, how would he feel inside you? 

Two hands around his cock and Jake could sense a first orgasm approaching. He thrusted his hips, fucking both of your hands, eyes rolled back into his skull, the pleasure completely taking over.

“Yeah, yeah, just like that, fuck, fuck, I am fucking your hands so good, shit!” He didn’t know where to put his energy, switching between moaning and whining and saying his incoherent thoughts out loud, feeling himself leak onto your hands. He wondered what you’d do when he came, if you’d just let him come right onto you or if you’d point it elsewhere. 

“Feel good, Jakey? You look so hot, so, so good for me.” You stared up at him, batting your eyelashes and finally Jake looked down at you, his spit catching in his throat. You looked insane with his cock in your hands, your face wild and determined, a small grin on your lips that made his cock twitch once more. The whimper escaping him must have been the single most arousing thing you had ever heard. 

“I’m gonna come, I’m s-so close,” he cried and you nodded, licking over your lips.

“Yeah, come for me, wanna see you come, Jakey.”

When he had said yes to you helping him out, he sure as hell had not expected dirty talk to be involved and, shit, was he happy it was. His mouth fell open wider, eyes glossy and focused on your face. He knew it was going to be a lot, knew he’s going to shoot the biggest load of his life onto you in a few heartbeats.

“C-Coming, oh- shit!” 

When he came, he came. Cum spurted out his cock, and you didn’t even think about letting a drop go to waste. The first load landed on your neck and collarbones, dripped down your cleavage and over your breasts, the second you managed to catch with your tongue slurping it down like a five-star meal. The third landed on your cheeks and chin, some on your neck, joining his already left mark. 

Jake truly couldn’t believe his eyes. You, the woman he had been thinking about asking out for weeks now, covered in and eating his cum. Another little bit of cum dribbled out his cock and you caught it perfectly with the tip of your tongue, causing Jake to groan desperately. 

He was still so fucking hard. Still desperate for more.

“I need more, I’m still so hard, please.” His pleasing eyes and slightly trembling lips made the picture in front of you perfect. Jake, big cock full on display, still hard from the potion he had drank by pure accident, his first orgasm so powerful he had shot three loads onto you, was now begging you for more. 

And you were more than eager to make every wish of his come true. 

“Since you said please…,” you grinned, leaning forward, not giving a damn about the seed currently drying on your skin, and flicking your tongue against his tip, his hand almost immediately moving to grip the back of your head.  “God, yes, yes, please take it into your mouth, fuck, please!”

His wish was your command. 

Your lips closed around his tip, sucking on it just slightly, tongue gliding over his sensitive slit, tasting his bittersweet taste, wondering if maybe the potion had altered something about it. Next, you moved your head forward, taking more of him into your mouth, feeling the veins of his cock press against your tongue. A moan erupted through you, the arousal almost too much to bear at this point. 

“Ohhhh, god, yes, take it, take it deeper, shit.” His hips moved, pushing more of him into your mouth. He seemed to vibrate, seemed to fit perfectly into your wet heat, tip hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag, spit dripping from his shaft down to the floor. Your hands grabbed the back of his thighs, steading yourself as he began to thrust down your throat. 

“Holy fuck, that’s right, gag on my cock, gag on it, fuck.”

It must have been the potion speaking because he wasn’t usually this vocal. But then again, he had never had anyone take his cock down their throat as well as you were doing right now. Gagging and spitting and tearing up, but nothing in your face showed discomfort. No, you were thriving on this and Jake felt your arousal in the air, felt it mixing with his and he sped up his hips, both hands now holding your head in place as he let out the most beautiful moan you had ever heard. 

He shoved you down his cock completely now, his balls hitting your chin as he fucked your mouth like it was the last thing he’d ever do. Drool mixed with his precum dribbled down your chin, tears began to stream down your face, your eyes rapidly blinking as you watched him lose all of his composure. You wished to keep this memory engraved into your brain for all of your life.

Jake was in a rush, in a complete trance, fucking down your throat, feeling your tongue against his shaft, your throat restricting around him, your gags and chokes turning him on even more. Somehow, with every thrust closer to his release, he felt the tension rise up more. 

What the fuck even was in that potion? 

It hit him then, his second orgasm, thrusts becoming sloppier, quicker, accompanied by desperate moans, whimpers and groans. 

You managed to swallow it all, the load just as huge as during his first orgasm, shot after shot down your throat, your eyes growing wide while you sucked him dry, or at least attempted to.

“Swallow it all, yes, yes, fuck, come on, come on! Take it all, I know you want to, fuck!” 

There was no control left in his body, the potions effect taking over completely. 

He emptied his cock into your mouth and pulled out when he at least thought it was over, only for another wave to hit him and land on your skin again. He felt like an artist painting an already perfect canvas with his own visions. 

“S-sorry, fuck,” He breathed hard, watching you slowly get up, your face wild and stained with his seed as well as your own tears. Your eyes were red, pupils blown and with every gaze you shared, he knew you wanted him as much as he wanted you. He swallowed and looked down, seeing his cock still hard, still throbbing and aching. Would this ever end?

“I need more, need more,” he mumbled, stumbling forward and grabbing your hips roughly. You moaned at his touch, your fingers gliding over your chest to pick up some of his cum and shove it into your mouth, sucking them clean. He swore under his breath.

“Do you want to fuck me, Jakey?” You asked then, voice sweet like honey, but body looking so breathtakingly filthy. 

“Want to, need to, have to,” he replied, moving to lick some of his own cum off your neck. You moaned at that surprising action, pussy throbbing and dripping. Without another thought, you dipped forward, pressing your lips against his. He kissed you back right away, tongue shoving into your mouth and he could taste himself even more on your tongue. His hands ripped open the corset-dress you were wearing, freeing your tits from their prison and immediately moving to grab them.

You hopped onto the counter then, pulling him closer, legs hooking around his waist. He kissed you hungrily, tongue and teeth and spit and hotness all mixed together. You shoved his coat off his shoulders and opened the buttons of his shirt, but he stopped you.

“No time, need to be inside you now.” He basically growled, fingers simultaneously finding your panties and ripping them off of you just like he had your dress. You spread your legs further, ready for him, more ready than you had ever been. 

Jake knew he had reached heaven right then. Grabbing his cock and bringing it to your drenched pussy, pushing into your awaiting entrance and feeling you grip him, pulling him closer. He cried out, whimpered into your ear and continued to suck on your skin, cleaning you off of his seed all while working to bottom out.

And when he was finally buried to the hilt, he only paused for a second to take it all in, before beginning to fuck into you at a brutal pace. Your fingers clawed into his shoulders, mouth dropping open as your head tipped back and high pitched moans crawled out of your throat over and over. 

“So fucking tight, taking me so fucking well, such a dirty fucking slut.” Jake bit your neck and you cried out once more, your whole body shaking with pleasure as he continued to fuck you. There was nothing you could compare to what was happening right now. No one had ever fucked you as good, as hard and as fulfilling as Jake. 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better than this, Jake pulled out of you and grabbed your waist, heaving you off the counter only to spin your around and push you down onto it, your ass up in the air.

“Sorry, need to fuck you like this.”

Back in he went - full speed, full force. The counter shook under you and you gasped when he began to thrust. His cock dragged against your walls, split you open so beautifully it felt like you were going to burst. You threw your ass back at him, clawing at the edge of the counter, eyes falling shut as you let yourself enjoy the way he drilled into you.

There was a high chance Jake was going to grow addicted to this feeling. Never had he ever had sex as good as this and perhaps this was courtesy of the potion - or maybe it was just you. You with the perfect pussy, the perfect mouth, the perfect hands. Everything about you seemed to heighten his arousal, seemed to get him closer from the edge all while pushing him even further away from it. 

He could do this for hours, fuck you until he came, spill his seed in you over and over, watch how it spilled out. God, he wanted to see your pussy stuffed with his cum so bad. Watching his cock slip in and out of you, hearing the noises you made, it was almost too much.

“You’re my perfect little hole, aren’t you? Just made to be fucked like this,” he couldn’t help himself, grabbing your hips even rougher and spitting down to make it even wetter. Not that that was really necessary. You were dripping down his cock as well as your own thighs and Jake swore he would never recover. 

“Fuck, Jake!” You cried out, hip trying desperately to move while he held you, eyes opening only to roll back as your orgasm hit you like a brutal wave.

“Shit, are you gonna come on my cock, slut?” Jake saw red as he felt your pussy spasm around him, pulling him even deeper, squeezing him for all he had, wanting to milk him dry of his load. 

And who was he to deny such a request?

“Come inside me, Jake, please, please, please!”

You had sensed his orgasm and he let out a growl, finally filling your pussy with his load just as you hit your second high right after the first. Once again, it didn’t stop, it just kept on coming, his cum landing inside you and already dripping out as he fucked both of you through your orgasms, filthy sounds filling the air next to both of your moans and groans and pleads for more. 

Jake had expected to be done after three, but no, he was still hard, and so he grabbed your wrists and held them behind your back, standing up straighter as he picked up the speed once more.

“Need another one, baby, just one more, fuck, m-maybe two, I just- fuck, I am so hard, I need to fuck you more, wanna fuck you all night, need to fuck your pussy.”

There was nothing left in his brain except for the need to come, for the need to fuck you. He was like an animal during heat, felt like he was going to explode. His cock was so incredibly sensitive, hurting even at this point, but it was addictive, you were addictive. Just the thought of not being inside of you anymore filled him with something close to agony. 

“Y-yes, fu-fuck me Jake, your cock feels so good, s-so big!”

At this point you could have taken the potion yourself judging by how you were feeling and talking. Normally, you were the one in charge, the one on top. But with Jake? You enjoyed being in his hands like this, enjoyed being used by him for his pleasure. You wanted him to fill you up, to split you open, to do with you whatever the hell he wanted. 

“God, yes, like my big cock fucking you open like that? Such a good behaved little whore, isn’t that right?” He found himself slapping your ass, and judging by your reaction that had been the exactly right thing to do. He groaned when he felt you squeeze him again, both hands back to holding your hands in place.

He lost himself in you. Lost himself in the pleasure. And you lost yourself in him and the need to have him fill you up again and again. 

His fourth orgasm made his cock soften a little. He filled you to the brim, watched the majority drip down your legs, forming a little puddle to your feet and he licked his lips, letting go of your hands and pulling out of you, turning you back around and placing you back on top of the counter. 

“Lean back,” he ordered and you did as wanted, eyes wide and pussy throbbing from the last orgasm a few seconds ago. 

You leaned back on your elbows, watching him position himself between your legs. He grabbed his cock and placed it in between your lips - to thrust in between them, cockhead repeatedly hitting your clit. You gasped, body jerking forward.

“Wanna paint your whole body with my cum, stay still.” His big hands grabbed your hips, pinning you to the counter as he began to thrust his cock over your pussy, the friction already enough to almost make him come again. 

“Mhmm, y-yes, f-feels good!” You cried and he grinned, continuing his spiel like a madman. 

“You’re so sexy, so fucking sexy, baby.” He breathed out, his brain slowly but surely coming back to him. And when he heard that little noise you apparently always made before you came (if he could trust the two orgasms from earlier), he felt himself reach the edge as well. 

Your head fell back when you felt the next orgasm hit and your pussy ached for more when his next load landed all over your stomach, even reaching as far as your tits, painting you just like he had wanted. 

The canvas was finished.

But Jake wasn’t.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, so sorry, I need to-,” his head was fuming red, and he moved back a little, just to dip his cock back into your spent pussy and you fell flat onto your back, your head hanging over the counter. 

He fucked you like a ragdoll, like a toy, like he didn’t even really acknowledge you were still there. He pressed down onto your stomach and sped up, tried to fuck you deeper. He imagined he could feel his cock through your skin, imagined he could see himself fucking you just like that. 

“S-so deep!” You cried out and he looked at you, at your body, and nodded, watching now how your tits jumped at every thrust. They were stained with his cum as well and he hoped he would never forget this image. 

“One more, promise, just one more, my perfect little fucktoy, yeah?”

His words were so filthy, so desperate and full of need, they made your pussy spasm again, made you grip him hard over and over again. 

“That’s it, fuck! Gonna come, gonna come, shit, sh-shit! Take my cum, take it, yes, yes!” He was in a spiral downwards, then back up and back down - his last orgasm hitting him like a fucking brick, yet another load landing inside your pussy - one, two, three. His cock twitched and twitched and finally began to soften. 

When he pulled out, he fell backwards, landing on the floor, his eyes wide and his ass hurting. 

The potion slowly lost its grip on him, his normal, coherent thoughts coming back all while he was getting down from his many, many highs. 

You pulled yourself up in exhaustion, your chest heaving. When you sat up straight again, you couldn’t help but chuckle at Jake on the floor. 

“Need a hand?” You asked, carefully jumping off the counter and finding that your legs were nothing but mere jelly. Quickly, you grabbed onto the edges of the surface and found your balance again.

“I- I-,” Jake began to stutter, his eyes probably the size of saucers by now. You grinned.

“You?” You raised a brow. Jake’s face turned crimson.

“I- I’m sorry, I-,”

“You’re apologizing? For what? The best sex I’ve ever had?” You snorted, “No, Jakey, no need to apologize.” 

Jake bit the inside of his cheeks. Best sex you’ve ever had? While he wanted to feel proud, he wasn’t so sure if that really had been him having sex with you or if the potion had a mind of its own. 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head,” you moved forward now, stretching your hand out for Jake to take, “the potion only strengthens what’s already there. It doesn’t change your personality, it just makes you give less fucks.”

Had you read his mind? Jake cleared his throat and nodded slowly, before taking your hand and letting you help him up. 

Only then, when he was standing so close to you again, did he realize you were still covered in his seed. He turned even redder.

“Oh, right.” You giggled, closing your eyes and once again snapping your fingers. 

Immediately, you were clean of his cum and back in your dress - which had also magically repaired itself. Jake also found himself back in his briefs and jeans, his coat safely hanging over the counter. His mouth dropped.

“You-,”

“Are an actual witch, correct, Sherlock.” You winked at him and walked back to the other side of the counter, “Now, do you still need that potion?”

Jake stared at you for a second.

“Y-yes,” he mumbled, watching as you quickly finished the preparations. He didn’t dare say anything, his heart beating at triple speed and his brain working overtime. He had just fucked you. For like… a good while. And he didn’t even have your phone number.

“There you go,” you smiled and carefully shoved the bottle with the potion over the counter, “just pour a few drops over your flowers tonight. You should already see some results in the morning.”

“Th-thanks. How much do I owe you?”

“Oh, Jakey. You already paid me enough.” You said cheekily and Jake found himself choking on his own spit.

When he walked out he regretted not asking you for your number. Or if you wanted to go on a date. 

But that night, when he got ready to put the potion to its use, he saw a little note stuck to the label he hadn’t seen before.

Tomorrow, 8 o’clock at your place. I promise I’ll bring wine that won’t make you wanna fuck me for hours. It’s a date! Also here’s my number: xxx-xxx-xxx. See you tomorrow, loverboy!

Jake found himself laughing out loud. 

the air is electric as the spotlight shines on him. the sweat sticking onto his body frames his arm muscles as they move in front of him. the click track in one side of his ear as he gazes at the front. his friends were all in the zone as they all stood at the front of the stage—standing on top of them. his left arm was shining and showing his full sleeve tattoo while playing the snare drum. his right hand was counting on the hi-hats as he had to adjust his rhythm. nicholas, who is standing closest to him, moves his bass melody around his rhythm, following the down beat from his kick bass. while euijoo and jongseong play their guitar melodies interchangeably, making the sound of his crashes and tom-toms an anchor for them to follow.

behind the drum kit, jaeyun feels at home.

his hands drumming the snare so hard as he bit on his bottom lip, feeling the ring of his piercing cool against his skin, as the beat became faster. the end of the show is so near that he had to eye the bucket of drumsticks near his legs—finding one less of them after he broke one tonight. sweat on his dyed blond hair falling down as he felt the music all come together and enter his blood veins, like drugs that he consumes through a syringe so that he could directly feel seep into his cells. his vision continues looking at the crowd, their hands in the air. some are holding their phones; but in his band's genre of music, the audience doesn't need a phone recording to feel the euphoria of the night that will be imprinted in their memory. the spotlights shining on their faces as he could see himself in that crowd, watching his favourite band as they create music live that sounds even better than their studio counterpart. then, he trails his eyes towards the front of the barricade where security guards stood. and, there is also someone holding a camera, recording their audience having fun as the figure walks in front of the stage.

the people who noticed smiles and sing towards the camera as the figure walks to the other end of the stage before turning around, letting the lens capture the band's performance as the light shines perfectly on the face behind it. you.

you hold the camera still with your hands, eyeing from the viewfinder to capture the right scene before you of the band performing their hearts out, to then the stage where his eyes find yours; a smile forming on your face when he can also feel the electricity of the music combine with the one coming from you.

his hands move to the crash cymbals as the song nears the end. nicholas, euijoo, and jongseong all sang into their microphones as he mouthed the lyrics by his mic, head lulling following the rhythm, counting the bars of music in his mind to then stop! the spotlight shines on jongseong, who continues playing his melody meticulously on his trusty guitar as the music fades away. jaeyun hears the screams and cheers from the audience as the final song ends, wiping away his nose bridge, yet his eyes still stay on your figure who is shooting jongseong's solo for the recording, ending the song like it is written.

claps and cheers fill his ears as he can feel the jitters coursing through his body. jaeyun leans back on his stool as he takes a breath after playing for two hours by now. he could already feel the scratches on the thick blisters on his fingers—courtesy of gripping the drumstick—as he felt the outermost skin peeling off. the boy stands up from his chair, eyeing the audience, you, and then the spotlight that shines on him; blinking as he captures the moment.

"this is amperhyphen! thank you and good night!" euijoo's voice rings through the microphone as the spotlight shuts down on the stage. finally, he could take a fucking breath.

jaeyun picks up his water bottle as he leaps off the foundation of his drum kit, walking behind the speakers to the wing of the stage when he sees sunghoon clapping his hands, ruffling his hair when he arrived before him, to then move and greet nicholas, who was walking behind the boy. on his side, sophia is already pushing out their small towels for them to grab and wipe up their sweats. but, jaeyun's attention is somewhere else as he eyes the moving crews that are tidying up the venue and their instruments: to bring them to the next stop of their tour.

"the fuck, jake?" jongseong comes to stand beside him. his long black hair framing his face as he felt the brush of his guitar neck by his back. "you broke another stick when playing letters. i saw it flung near me."

"that means that he was fucking enjoying it, of course. i'm surprised that my guitar string hasn't snap yet." euijoo added as he leans into sunghoon's—their band's manager—side who replied with "don't fucking jinx it.". sophia stood in the circle too as she nods at jaeyun who had already use the towel to wipe his face, looking down to see the dark eyeshadow around his eyes melting onto the material.

"oh yeah, jay. i think your d string was a bit off-tune between silhouettes and twin fantasy," nicholas added after swallowing his drink from the water bottle.

"fuck! thanks nicho. didn't fucking caught it there. thanks again, dude," jongseong answers as he pulls off his guitar and places it inside the case full of stickers of band logos—from their own amperhyphen, and to their other favourite bands such as green day and radiohead.

"we gotta fucking celebrate the night. one more stop of the tour!" sunghoon said, wiping his own sweat as jaeyun recognised his hard work behind the stage. from handling the logistics of the instruments to the audio engineering and all others that. he could only nod his head as he looked at the stairs leading to the front of the stage, and instantly, he could feel his breath hitch when the final member of the core amperhyphen team finally approached the rest. his body continues to jitter as his eyes gaze at the figure.

you are wearing a red flannel shirt outside of your white t-shirt that is short enough so he could catch the glint of your belly button piercing because of the shine of the light. the camera is in a grip between your hands as you close your distance, hearing the greetings from the other boys as sophia wraps her arm behind your shoulders.

"the crowd is genuinely so fun tonight. i was fucking scared that they could pick up the camera and shit," you said as the others giggle. your nose scrunches as he gazes at the septum piercing while the others continue to converse. only some unintelligible noise comes into his ears as he pulls off his in-ear monitors and device of his body to be packed up along with the rest of the concert equipment. then, jaeyun's eyes meet yours once again. the wide smile on your face fades away as you read his expression, from the way he licks his bottom lip to slightly biting it, his stare hot and burning against your skin as he disregards the impromptu planning for the night.

you already guessed what he was going to do to celebrate the night.

"you're coming, jake?" euijoo's voice pierces through the wall of indecipherable noise as he finally glances around at the others. and by the knowing looks on some of them, such as jongseong and sophia, they already know that he has a plan going on for tonight: a plan that involves him and you.

jaeyun shakes his head before glancing back at you who is standing still, already eyeing him and waiting for his signal. his body moves quick as he breaks away from the circle and grabs onto your wrist, hearing you yelp as he feels the chuckles bubbling when hearing the others reacting to the two of you.

"don't forget your fucking bags, you two." sunghoon shouted as you replied with a "okay, hoon" and let the darkness of the hallway consumes you both from their eyesights.

the air is crisp as you feel your bag hanging by your shoulders, jaeyun dragging you with his letterman bag that is draped with his sweater hanging and tied across his chest. his fingers already signing for hailing on the road as a taxi came by the pavement and you both step into the backseats. as you leaned back against the soft seat while jaeyun tells the hotel name, you take in the view of the town you visted even if it is just for three days, taking in the scenery of it that looks more or less like a growing city. the skyline is still full of high-rises and office towers as the car drives into the dead of the night filled with glowing signs that captures the eye.

a warm touch rests on your ripped-jeans-covered thighs, turning to the side as you see jaeyun with his hot gaze on you. his smudgy eyeliner and eyeshadow frames his eyes that pierce into you even more, biting one side of his bottom lip that you know is already swollen—because he always bites his bottom lip when focusing on something and especially behind the drum kit. the streetlights let you see his simple silver labret piercings that cool down your lips whenever you feel it-

reality kicks in as you pick his hand up and curl it with your own, giving him a look that says, "please wait just for a bit." many times, he couldn't handle it. sometimes, he had already had you wrapped around his fingers and thrust you against the vanity table in the backstage area where sophia put on his and his members' make-up. sometimes, he had already using the bottom of his palm to make you dry hump for him, lips already marking your neck as you cover your mouth to not let a sudden pant came out. jaeyun had become more behaved since the first time you both hooked up at the start of the tour three months ago. he had access to groupies and fans—much of what euijoo and jay hook up with as, usually, nicho hooks up with soph—but jaeyun: he always picks you to end his night.

as the taxi stops by the lobby area of the hotel, a bell boy opens the door for the backseat as jaeyun puts a pile of cash on the tray by the driver.

"thank you!" you shouted as the boy helped you out of the taxi.

"big bucks over here. you're welcome!" the driver shouted back as you both giggle, leaving behind the bell boy who opened the door for you and the taxi as jaeyun and you jog towards the elevator as quick as possible. because it is nearly midnight, the elevator door opens quickly as you press the floor number where all seven of you have settled. leaning back against the back wall of the small space, you looked down to see his foot moving in rhythm like it was still on the kick drum's pedal. your interlocked hands holding on tight as you trail your look up towards his arms—his left arm full of black and red-inked tattoos that create contrast with his bare skin right arm. you let out a huge sigh when the screen above the door shows your floor, and the doors slide open.

"your keycard," you whispered-screamed to him when you bumped into his back by his room. his hand instantly moved to pull out the keycard from his bag's front pocket as he pressed and saw the unlocked green light on top of the handle. jaeyun twists it and pushes the door open hard as the closed curtain greets you on the other side of the room. you haven't even taken in everything when he closed the door and pushed you to it. one palm resting beside your head as he finally kisses you hungrily.

closing your eyes, you let your hands trail around his toned and sweaty body, feeling his wet locks clumped together as his piercing's cool texture presses down your lips. your hand grips his nape when you sense his lips biting yours. you kick off your sneakers away towards the door as he does the same before pulling deeper into the hotel room.

the warm bedside lamps are turned on and placed on each side of his double bed. jaeyun pulls away as he sees you put your bag beside his bed, pulling off his own letterman bag and placing it on his desk. adrenaline courses through him as he pulls away his white compressed tank top and feels the cool air brushing against his sticky skin. turning around, you are already perched on the front edge of the mattress, outer shirt strewn away as he realises that you both were wearing nearly matching outfits for the night. your palms are pressed on the mattress behind as you push your upper body upright. darkness clouded your eyes as he felt the same aura exuding from you as he also exudes.

the boy let out a groan as he stepped before you, grabbing onto one side of your face and leaning down to kiss you hard. jaeyun felt how your clean and short nails trailed down his shoulder muscles as he pushed his tongue into your mouth's cavern. your other hand cradling his face, brushing his angular cheekbone and gripping his jaw. his hands brush down onto the end of your tee as he pulls it away, letting him see the black bra that you adorned when he pulls it off of you. his lips trail to the button of your nose, licking against your septum piercing before trailing down towards your jaw and then neck.

"jaeyun…." you moaned out when he bites another mark on your collarbone. the only people in this world who fully refer to him as jaeyun are his parents, his brother, and himself. his best friends and bandmates all call him interchangeably with jake—because of the use of his english name as his stage name—and the crowd only knows him as jake. but when he heard you moan jaeyun after he told you his birth name for the first time months ago, he felt his world turn upside down and the blood flows more into his hardened cock that makes his jeans tighter—even until now.

he licks up the trail of your skin on a path, feeling the loose band of the bra by his upper lip after you unhook it, making his hands move it away and throw it somewhere in the room. your perky nipples stand tall as his trail runs down and licks one up while gripping the other boob with the amount of force you liked. your hands burshes his fringes to look down at his head by your chest—worshipping your body as he continue to learn every time you both fuck. your favourite places to be kissed, to be touched, to be gripped, and to be marked.

a chuckle bubbles out from you as he continues downward and licks around your belly button that adorns your piercing, his hands unbuttoning and unzipping your jeans as he brushes his lip ring on your lower tummy, feeling him getting closer to where you want him. pulling the jeans away, he sees your matching black underwear sticking onto your hips as he trails kisses from your knee to your inner thigh. you lean up with one arm pushing your upright, the other hand raking on his back as you could feel the healing scars that you inflicted on him the last time—marking him the way you like it.

his breath brushes the wet spot on your underwear as your body squirms, reacting right to his touches as he licks a strip around your slit and finding your clit at the same time. you muffled your moans by biting your lip as he continues before brushing the fabric aside. jaeyun could see your libia already opening for him, letting him see your hole that is only reserved for him. your slick is already coming out as he felt how you were already wet for him, even without foreplay. like it started when you see him on stage. like he also felt the bulge grazing his thighs when he sees you below the stage whilst drumming.

"jaeyun- fuck!" you gasp at the sensation when he pushes his tongue into the hole, the cool lip ring surface touches your warm skin as he finally looked up to your face. the boys' eyes continue to pierce into you as you try your best to hold on the eye contact and not roll your eyeballs back into your skull from how fucking good he is fucking your walls orally. your hips continue to squirm as he pulls away and suck your clit, pushing two of his fingers into the entrance as they scissor you opened—widening the opening for him.

"prepping you to take me in deep until my balls hit your hips," jaeyun mumbled against your skin as he watched your knitted eyebrows from pleasure, pushing the hole wide as he thrusts up his fingers into you.

"always… prepared… for you," you mumbled back as he pulls his face away, letting you see the sheen around his lips from his saliva and your slick as you presses down your thumb to the middle of his bottom lip with his piercing, making him lick the fingertip as he continues opening you up for him. jaeyun stands up on his feet and leans forward to you once again, making you let out a free flow of moans as he continues to open you up with his fingers as both of your lips press against each other. your hands grasping his hair and neck as your toes curled up under your socks, feeling your pulsating wall after he pulls out, then giggles when your whines travel to his ears.

with him pulling away from the front of bed, you drag yourself up to the end when you felt the headboard and the pillows behind you, eyes gazing at him who is taking his jeans off as you spread your legs beside you, folding your knees before you push the area behind your kneecaps towards your chest—showing his reward to him by opening so much for him. jaeyun chuckles as he could see how desperate you by the way you are spreading your legs like he is yours, finally pushing down his boxers as his long and thick cock stands upright and taps against his abs. you eyed his member with a lick on your bottom lip as he crawls over, already prepared as ever to wrap your walls around him.

jaeyun crawls his body on the mattress and kneels by your spread hips. he brushes his sensitive part as he puts his palm before his mouth. you hear him spit then he pushes his open palm down towards your mouth, letting you spit on it as well, before he uses the palm and stroke his cock. the boy hissed at the coolness of the liquid as he already felt his pre-cum flowing out out of his slit. leaning closer, you eyed him playfully, pushing yourself to brush his tip on your lower lips.

"hmm…" you reacted with a high-pitched whimper.

"look at you. so hot and bothered for me," he spoke above you as you nodded your head. when his tip catches onto your opening, his sight focuses on you as he plunges deep. you can feel yourself getting so full—your eyes rolling back into your skull.

"fuck yes!"

"fuck yes, (y/n)." jaeyun echoes your word as he pushes himself deeper until his balls touches your hip. his tip meets your cervix as your walls clamp and adjust around him. you roll your eyes back as you gaze at his intoxicating face, his sight focusing on your rising and falling chest before he zones out. you let go of one of your legs and bring it to lean against his shoulder, breaking his trance as your free hand finds his that is gripping onto your waist.

"you can move," you whisper only to him as he gets your command, pulling back until more than halfway before plunging back in. his vision now focuses on your face as you nod even more, urging him to continue before you mouth "faster" to him. the leftover adrenaline from the concert comes back as he adjust his pace, faster like you want him.

your jaw is unhinged as you let out strangled moans that feeds into his ego, knowing that when you lose your push to voice out a moan means that you are already deep in pleasure from his cock. he groans out. sounds like skin slapping against skin and the light thumps from the mattress against the wall fill the room as you stretch yourself open for him. when he leaned down closer to your torso, you shrieked as you folded your knee towards his frame.

"s-so deep-" you moaned out, letting go of both of your knees as you folded them at the back of his upper body, letting him press you down underneath his body as his hips falter in the pace but he replaces it with how full he is filling you up. from the tip that your lips are gripping on, to then plunge deep until you feel him by your cervix. you feel the familiar burning stretch as his torso moves forward—folding yourself more than half for him. sweat continues to trail down his hairline until it reaches the outside corner of his eyes, mixing it with his black eyeshadow before it trails down and thins out on his cheek.

the bottom lip of yours is bitten as you try your best to gaze at his face. his adam's apple bopping as he swallows every breath whilst thrusting into you and you following him—not making him go fully out of you. one of your hands reaches for his inked tricep before moving to his shoulder, making him lean more as he finally smashes his lips on yours once again. your tits moving against his chest as you moaned into his lips. your hand, that is behind his left shoulder, is already curling into his skin as his hands hold himself on each side of your head, tangling it with your spread legs so he can push deeper into you than ever before.

trembles came from you as you let out a shaky breath, mouthing your impending release as he felt it on his lips before your jaw was widely agape and you sank your head into the pillow as deeply as possible. your fingernails digging into his back muscles as he continues to thrust yet slowly, letting him take in your euphoric expression with your folded legs holding onto his shoulders that continue to shake. you sense how your walls are fastening on his cock, yet still feel the moisture that is produced from your cum as he is getting even harder than ever inside you.

pushing with all your might, his body now lies on the mattress with you at the top. after fixing your position in a more comfortable one, you sink yourself down until you are practically sitting on his lap with his member inside you. your upper teeth biting onto the centre of your bottom lip as he is doing the same. eyes dark and warm gazing at you like something he is so proud to attain. in your mind, you shake your head as you wet your lips and press your hands against his abs, pushing yourself upwards before falling onto him.

you continue doing so, perceiving every muscle of your walls clenching onto him as the moist sound continues to get even louder. sneaking to look at the area where you both are connecting, you stare at how your arousal mixes together to create an opaque ring around the base of his cock: of your cum and his pre-cum. with a knowing look from you, you continue your flury of moves as you bounce on him, feeling the oversensitivity coming to you as his groan is a signal of how tight you are sucking him in.

"come here," jaeyun said as he pushed himself upwards. back now leaning against the headboard as he brought your upper body to him. you felt his knees folding behind you as you can't help but let your tongue meet his as he guides your hips while moving his own—pushing his hips up into yours. your hand is clenching onto his tense muscles as you moan back into his mouth, finding his back as you pull him into you, just like he does to you.

"y-yun." you curled yourself into his embrace and moaned into his ears. his energy pushing through to get you to come one last time.

"close?"

"yes! mpmh-" your lips meeting his again to muffle the noise that he is also letting out from the neighbours close to his hotel room. hips meeting his as he held onto your waist, feeling how your figure trembled as he moaned into your parted lips. eyes open wide, you met them with his that is frowning from how tight you are holding onto him—cumming for the second time of the night.

leaning in, the tip of your nose presses against his before you move your head to his forehead meeting yours as well. one of your hands trails to his face as you feel his thrusts getting sloppier, pressing your thumb down against his hoop lip piercing as he licks the fingertip.

"fucking cum in me," you say, full of frustration but also coated in lust as your lips brush against his when you speak. his thrust suddenly becomes quicker as he chases after his high like so many times you and he have done before. forehead pressing hard against each other's as his moan fell out between his open lips. jaeyun tilts his head to finally meet his lips against yours as you can feel his semen squirt out inside you—warming you up from the inside.

you both breathe so heavily as you sit upright. his cock inside you plugging his cum so that it doesn't slip out as you both stare at each other. with another tick, the tension melts away, and you both giggle.

"i still can't believe that you have that much energy after every gig," says you who lets both of your forearms rest on each of his shoulders.

"i got more kick of adrenaline when i know that every night, i will be here inside of you."

"oh, shush." you put a pointer finger in front of his lips as he playfully opens them to nibble on it. the cycle of breathing came from both of you as he continued to warm you from your nether region. you gazed at his dyed hair, noticing his natural black hair growing from the roots, showing just how much time has passed as you still remember his fully dyed blond hair when you first saw him. his eyeliner still sticks on his waterline with a few smudges from the sweat of performing and the tears of pleasure creating a shadow around it.

"can you help grab my bag?" you said as jaeyun's hold on you continued, moving both of you slightly nearer to the side of the bed. the movement makes your body bounce as you continue to clamp onto him, eyes already rolling at his method of doing so as he cock brushes against your walls. his muscles tensed up as he picked up your bag before placing it on the space beside you.

"you're sleepy, i know. but you gotta clean your makeup first," you muttered as you brush around in your bag—from feeling your notebook to your wallet and phone—to pick up the bottle of makeup cleanser and cotton pads. jaeyun finally leaned back on the headboard, sturdy enough to hold him upright as his hands were still splayed on your waist. after pouring the right amount of it on the pad, you exhale as he closes his eyes, letting you clean out his eye area as he reacts to the cool sensation, continuing to hold onto you.

wiping away his makeup, you let his skin breathe as you find one of his eyelids void of obvious signs of eyeshadow and eyeliner. looking from afar, you could see the inner youth jaeyun still has within him—even with some creases around his eyebag area from maturing into the fully fledge young adult. your hand rested on his jaw to help clean the canvas that is his face more easily. then, you felt him pushing his head forward with a little pout forming, making you giggle as you continued to clean his makeup.

with three pads used, you lean back a bit to take in his beautiful face before you. a few blemishes rest on his face including an unsmooth texture to a scar that blends in with the rest of his skin tone. yet this softer jaeyun is the same as the one you recorded on stage on your camcorder, banging the drums as the metronome of the songs with his best friends in a small, albeit sold-out, performance.

when jaeyun opens his eyelids, your breath catches off guard as he peers at you. his pupils looking around your face as you felt the familiar surge of post-sex sensation faltering away in an instant—making you question why you are here in the first place. looking down at the bottle and the rest of the cotton pads, you packed them into your bag as the boy's breath settled down before you. after that, you push yourself up as his cock lays on his body, feeling the breeze that comes through you as you felt his cum already near dripping out—landing more on the base of his cock as you can already imagine just how slimy your core is.

"i have to go," you said to him as you move away from his lap and stand on the edge of the bed, eyes set on your black underwear as you rush to get them and tuck it on, stopping more of his cum leaking out of you while also making the cloth now stained. and when you approached him to get your bag by the bed after tugging on your jeans and t-shirt with the flannel shirt and black bra on your hold, you felt the familiar warmth grip your wrist.

"stay," he had said, his ruffled bangs that is now covering most of his forehead making him look much more innocent even before people notice that he doesn't wear anything under it. his confident body still exposed against the cool air as you strain yourself to not trail your gaze down. but you shake your head as you pull his hand off yourself and feel its searing grip creating an imprint.

"i have to go. i still have to pack my stuff."

such an easy lie to say, knowing it is half true. because you have packed your luggage a day ago with only the clothes you'll be wearing for the next two days in the wardrobe.

a smile adorns your face as you put the rest of your clothing items haphazardly into your bag. you pivot one last time at him, seeing his familiar unreadable expression that he will always show when you have to get back and leave him behind. maybe he had felt something more than what this is. because you both had set up this situation as full of benefits that are only fulfilled sexually. no underlying emotion should seep out other than lust and how it helps relieve, or in the case of jaeyun, how it helps relax.

"good night, jaeyun," you uttered, tucking the strap of your bag on your shoulder with your hand gripping onto it.

"good night, (y/n)," he echoed, still leaning against the headboard as his piercing gaze stayed on you until you weren't seen from his spot on the bed.

hanging the pair of shoes with your fingers, you rummaged your bag's small pocket to find your own keycard as you stepped in front of your hotel room. entering it, the lights that greet you are dimmer than what jaeyun has, as only the lights from the desk and on the bedside table in between the two twin beds are lit up. you walked towards your bed and placed down your belongings before pulling out your skincare pouch from the bag.

the familiar cotton pad that once cleaned jaeyun's makeup is now cleaning yours. the liquid smooth cleansing milk moves along with your movement as you eyed yourself in the mirror. dust and makeup staining the white pad as you felt his remains still leaking out of you and nearly dripping onto the jean material you're wearing. finding your bare face from the reflection—your concept of time is fleeting out as you don't know how long it took for you to actually clean your face, you rush up and grab onto your sleeping clothes before stepping into the bathroom.

underneath the cold water shower, you feel his warm touch dispersing as you try to not think about anything further from what you have with jaeyun. 'maybe he got emotional because it is nearing the end of the tour,' you were thinking as you brush the bubbles from the soap against your marked skin, sensing the pain when you accidentally push on the skin with too much force. his cum now falling and mixing into the water as you clean your lower region while leaning against the nearest surface—numbness finally caught up to you on your hip area from the ways he fucked and manhandled you.

with your sleeping clothes on as you dry your hair as best as you could with the towel before letting it air dry, you went back to the desk again as you pulled out your nightly skincare products that involve acne care and for your dark circles. then, you hear the click of the door unlock as you turn and see sophia, your roommate for the past three months of the tour, coming in still giggling as her sway shows just how tipsy she was, even if it is only the leftovers.

"hey (y/n)," yet she said so casually.

"hi soph," you reply.

she steps deeper into the room as her hands find the backrest of the sturdy chair you are sitting on. her eyes nearly threatening to close before focusing on yours as you put the acne solution on the place where the area with remaining acne scars is. a pouty smile comes out from her as you could already tell that she can see the sex glow on you, like the many times she had mentioned ever since you came forward and told her your very active sexual rendezvous with jaeyun.

"did you clean jake's makeup? i really don't wanna make him get that big batch of the little pimples along his face that i had to cover up."

"yeah, i did," you answered. sophia is always meticulous as ever when it comes to the band's appearance. she will find solutions to make the boys' skin much healthier. you have heard her mad when she notices jaeyun has some pimples on his cheek and the many speeches she talks with all of them about them not taking care of themselves. it's the reason why she is always prepared with fresh, clean towels after every show—to wipe away any sweat and grime on their faces to clean themselves up. the appearance of a band that plays alternative rock and midwest emo songs is meant to be grungy, but when the stake of popularity of the band rests on their members' visuals as well as their music, especially in this economy; it becomes a great asset to upkeep.

your eyes followed sophia's as she turned her head to the side of the desk where you had another pouch open. her mind is sober enough to process a lot of things as you let the acne solution dry out on your face, creating inconsistent dots of chemical white before she then also reminds you.

"don't forget the pills, yep?" she said so nonchalantly as you glance to find your new strip of birth control pills peeking out. one pill out for today because you finished your menstrual cycle yesterday. a pout shows from you, even if it is not so prominent. you nodded your head, mind returning to the reason why you use birth control in the first place: because of jaeyun.

you have not been sexually active before you meet jaeyun. the tightness of your wall clamping onto his condom-covered cock the first time he insert himself into you is the pain you are never forgetting—because you also feel it for the first time in your life with him. he doesn't know it that way and you don't really want to announce it to the boy as of recently, but being with jaeyun made you feel wanted differently in your whole life. a life that is full of expectations, memories that some you want to leave behind yet still stick with you, and ever ever-changing job to hustle in your life. jaeyun's searing touch against your skin feels different than the romantic partners you had in your life—those that only saw you as this cool kid they would like to date because of how alternative you are—yet when you meet someone as alternative, then you can actually feel the numerous substances combining into a chemistry miracle.

and yet, you both only defined your relationship as pleasure-seeking: to end the day with calm and relaxed selves. your arrangement with each other only happens because sunghoon hired you from your personal collection of concert pictures and videos you watched since you were a freshman and sophia vouching for you since you both went to the same college. in the end, it will only be temporary. jaeyun will go on his merry way, banging his way into people's hearts with amperhyphen. while you? you don't know what to do. maybe finish your degree that's going to accumulate in cost. but you know that you want to stay close to music: you don't know if it's off stage like right now, or on stage like you used to do.

sophia quickly pecks your wet hair before approaching her side of the wardrobe full of her fashionable clothes—you know that you will have to help her pack tomorrow morning before check out. her face is flushed as the alcohol continues to seep into her cells as she picks up her sleeping clothes to end her day and start tomorrow in.

"oh yeah! where's the last stop going to be again?" you watched her from the mirror across from you, moving behind your chair towards the bathroom before facing back to you at the front of the open doorframe.

"haeyang," she answered in a beat. just like the thumping of your heart that quickens when you hear the town name.

inside you, it all comes crashing down. tinnitus showing up in your ears as you sense your head spinning. headache forming as your eyesight becomes blurry, unable to see your reflection on the hotel room mirror again. but you see something else: your reflection on that day, marred with scars and blood dripping down your face on the reflective surface as the orange sky shines upon yourself in that very moment. your trembling, bloodied hand holding your phone after calling the emergency hotline before adrenaline kicks in and makes you move.

the water runs inside the bathroom as sophia cleans away her worries, while yours come back to haunt you. every inhale feels so heavy as you shake your head to bring you back to sanity once again. but those flashbacks—nightmares—returns and will not be going away as they stake their claim in your mind for the time being. until this attack stops.

your hands reach into the pouch full of pills that you rely on for these past three months, eyes frantically scanning every brand and medicine name as you find the pill bottle that is inscribed with your name. you just hoped it hadn't expired from the last time you consumed it as you pop open the cap and take open pill out. the pill goes down along with the water as you read again what your prescribed antidepressant pills have in them before tucking the bottle away so sophia doesn't see it.

resting your head on the pillow, you turn your head towards the window covered by the sheer curtain—still letting the moonlight shine inside the room. you can feel the placebo effect of the pill kicking in as you reassure your heartbeat's rhythm is back to normal and stable, knowing that the pill's chemical will only take effect when you are sleeping. the tiredness in your muscles and your mind finally makes you close your eyes, hoping to not think of whatever tension you and jaeyun have when you clean his makeup, and especially hoping that the flashback doesn't come back to haunt you for the rest of your sleep.

because you will need this deep sleep to face the next few days.

-

the drumming engine of the 7-seater SUV trembles as jaeyun is reminded of the ghost sound of snare drum, kick drum, and hi-hat playing in the same rhythm all the time. the sound that rings every time he goes to the venue for his rehearsal. the sound that permeates when he enters the venue and goes to the stage to find his drum kit empty—only finding you, who is taking in b-roll footage to add to the videos you will then upload to social media to excite people about their last stop in the national tour.

his vision gazes at the moving scenery of the highway whilst he continues to rub against your back, your head leaning onto his shoulder as you let out little snores. even if he wanted you to stay the night and sleep with him and you reply with rejection, he is still the one who will let you sleep in the car. you always had your water bottle and a pill ready before entering the back of the vehicle with the many duffle bags resting beside jaeyun as they don't have any more space in the trunk. jay already asking what the pill is when you first do it in front of him.

"it's for motion sickness. i get car sick if i stay in a car too long."

and so, when sophia was the one who sat in the very back with you, she became your pillow as you slept your pain away until she woke you up when you arrived at the next town. but ever since jaeyun's growing relationship with you and sophia's relationship with nicho, he moves to the back and lets himself hold you upright so he could see his best friend getting it on with the girl that he likes. it is what friends are for, right?

your hair covered nearly half of your face as you slept as soundly as ever. he did notice how tired you seemed when they had to pack up, so he hoped that the pill would help to let you rest so you could be more energised when the vehicle arrived. because out of all the towns he went to, haeyang is the one he anticipated the most.

haeyang itself is a town—the marketing statistics show—where most amperhyphen fans come from. its growing hipster scene as a campus town also helps with the beautiful scenery of a mountain, hills, and the sea. he couldn't wait to explore haeyang with you because he thinks you would love the town, especially with the similarities you share with him from your relationship.

"hey, jake!" jongseong asked from the seat in front of him, turning his head so he could look at the figure seated behind him as he spoke, "when are you available for those drum lessons? jungwon is already asking me for dates after we are back home."

said boy chuckles as he replies with, "didn't your brother say that he had a college orientation? maybe before that is good."

"next week, then. let me text him back," jay types away into the chat message between him and his brother, jungwon. the little brother of two has always wanted to play drums ever since jongseong allows the band to practice in his house's garage, finding his older brother and his bandmate jamming away from covering their favourite songs to practice their own written songs every time the younger arrived home from high school. jungwon has an affinity for jaeyun's drumming, reacting in focus to how jaeyun plays the beats perfectly so that it wouldn't be too fast or slow. he feels honoured in inspiring his best friend's younger brother to play the instrument he truly loves.

the outside view continued to go past as the plains of the barricaded highway slowly were being overwhelmed by hills full of trees. the SUV goes through tunnel after tunnel and when the highway continues after the last tunnel has gone by, he could actually hear euijoo's gasp from the shotgun seat. from the view of the small window beside him, the hills are now replaced by the vast sea. islands are freckling upon the waters farther out from the shore as he felt you stirring in your sleep—somehow knowing that all of you have reached haeyang. looking through the window on the other side where you are sleeping, he found buildings on the forefront of hills—a little barricade to cover up the town's nature.

jaeyun's hand gently holds your waist as he looks to the front to see that all of his friends are staring outside of the car windows in wonder. sizzling noise of the fm radio dissipates when the frequency finds a local radio station that plays the sound of an indie folk act as the acoustic guitar fills in the space—introducing the town as this familiar and authentic place, where it is not been fully replaced by large gentrification projects unlike the towns he had performed in.

"hmm…" you hummed beside him, making the boy pivot his head to look down at your head on his shoulder, watching as your eyelids fluttered open, your sight meeting his neck before peering upwards to meet his.

"have we arrived?" your mumble reaches his ear as he nods. slowly, you push yourself against jaeyun to sit up, blinking the sleepiness away as you look around at the windows showing the scenery outside of the vehicle. he watches as you take in the view, a slow yet huge inhale and exhale coming from your body as you continue to stare outside. the sunlight captures your face perfectly as his eyes flicker on your side profile. the light shines on the surface and makes your iris colour much more pronounced. yet, your face remains still as you watch along the moving scenery—he focuses back on your eyes to see that there is something sort of blue in them.

when sunghoon mentioned that they would be in haeyang for six days as the last stop of the tour, the boys were already trying to set up things to do since day 1. catching onto the talks that they had of their last night celebration—which jaeyun and you only got to know this morning after what you were doing the previous night—they already had an idea of something to do today. and as they all check into their motel rooms at the establishment near the haeyang beach, his eyes looks back towards you who is waiting for sophia to unlock the door a few doors from him. and how your hand are clenching then unclenching before meeting sophia's sight as you give her a smile and entering the door.

as the sun sets on your first day in haeyang, all seven of you gather at a karaoke place where sunghoon booked a large room that you all can fit into and prance around. finger foods to full-on meals sit on the tables alongside bottles of flavoured soju and a bottle of tequila as jaeyun sits on the cushioned sofa, his arms resting on top of the backrest, curling it behind your figure who is sipping from the shot glass of the peach-flavoured soju. jongseong and euijoo rock out on the space in front of the tv to the green day song they're singing, both of them taking turns as they play air guitars with their hands forming the chord on their imaginary fretboard. sophia is recording them with her phone as jaeyun caught your giggles from watching the two's shenanigans—seemingly much better emotionally from when he saw you in the morning.

"oh, fuck me! we should actually cover this song next time," euijoo says as he twirls his body before collapsing on the sofa and jongseong collapsing on top of him, playfully crushing the boy as they both battle it out with their hands.

"we fucking should. i would definitely love learning that bass solo at the bridge. it's fucking rare to get bass solos in songs." nicho fans himself, jaeyun turning to see his face a bit flushing from the alcohol as he sways to lean against sunghoon, who is just looking at his friends very perplexed.

"who's turn is it?"

"my turn!" sophia exclaims as she picks up the tablet that controls the karaoke machine. the letters filling in the query box one by one as jaeyun recognises the word and the famous song it is related to.

as the percussion plays into the speaker, the familiar synth of toto's africa rings out into the room as the boys are all cheering with sophia as they all stand up, hand in hand and sway from side to side. jaeyun chuckles at what his friends are doing as he hears her sing the lyrics, trying as best to match up with the key. then, sophia reaches for the other abandoned mic on the table and pushes it towards you.

"come on, (y/n)!" she eggs you on. eyes all turn towards you as you let out a small shake of your head. in the numerous times all seven of you have done karaoke, you never sing. you've never picked up the mic and led a round of singing like everybody does. you are usually sitting there, gazing at everyone who sings their hearts out whilst giggling with a glass or a spoon in your hand, enjoying the cuisine served instead before clapping your hands when they finish performing. everyone in the room knows this, but with the boy's eyes looking at the girl's expression: sophia knows you more even than jaeyun.

"i know you can sing. i always hear you sing this song in the shower," she slips the mic into your grasp as you sit up with your back straight on the edge of the cushion, holding the mic up against your lips before downing the rest of your soju as you blinked the bitterness away. when he looks at your face, he doesn't see denial anymore—he sees determination.

"'hurry boy, it's waiting there for you~'," sophia sings before turning around, eyes on you as she signals "the chorus is yours." with a deep breath, jaeyun watches you let out a smile and lift the microphone in front of you.

"'it's gonna take a lot to take me away from you~'," you sing the first line of the chorus before the boys' cheers muffled your voice as you continue on. jaeyun's sight focuses back on sophia, whose smile is so wide as your voice rings from the speakers. your body leaning forward as you gave your might to sing the lyrics out loud.

sophia is right. you can sing, and you sing well. and so, only the presence of your body lingers beside him as sophia drags you to stand up beside her. the mic is held in both of your hands as she wrapped her arms around your shoulder, swaying you along with the song as even sunghoon can't help but to smile seeing you finally be courageous enough to sing. jaeyun leans back on the sofa, staring at your singing figure and his friends who are singing along. the timidness that he recognises thaws away as you continue to sing—even filling in on the notes sophia couldn't reach with such a perfect pitch. he knows that, if he had a voice timbre like yours, he wouldn't even stop singing. and as you continue, hearing the way your voice stabilises with confidence, even allowing you to startle sophia where you take the lead: he realises that you are in your element. jaeyun doesn't even know where it comes from, but you have only known each other for three months now. there are many aspects in your life he hasn't fully explored. and if singing is one of them and you are good at it, he is determined to know more, even with the short time he has left.

as the song's instrumental bridge plays and he looks at you and sophia dancing hand in hand, he can feel warmth spreading from your smiling face. and as you sang the first line of the chorus for the last time with enthusiasm in your voice, sophia continued along with you as the boys followed in, singing the iconic lyrics to africa and how it repeats and repeats. with his mouth following along—jaeyun's eyes are still on you as he notices how your voice is losing volume compared to the others in harmony. but then, your smile fades away in a moment. the fluidity of your movement suddenly becomes stiff as your lips, which were mouthing the lyrics perfectly, began to stagger. the lights from the screen reflected in your eyes as he notices more and more glimmering in them—looking downwards as your chest starts to heave openly before closing your eyes.

the last of the chorus fades as the boys and sophia are singing the lyrics along with the synth melody that is now stuck in their heads. however, jaeyun is the one who notices you sobbing in sophia's arms with your head tilted down.

immediately, jaeyun stands up, startling everyone, as he steps and gathers you into his embrace. your small sob grows bigger when you feel his heat enveloping you, muffled your sobs as your head rested on his shoulder while he reassures your trembling figure with a smooth rub down your back. the room turns quiet as only the last instrumental of the track is playing, and the joy slowly dissipates as they all stare at you. jaeyun's eyes were still on you, not knowing how to react to the suddenness of it all.

"you're okay. i am here," he whispers into your ear of words that just show up in his mind. a phrase so neutrally positive that he hopes they don't undermine what you are feeling. because he doesn't know why you reacted this way in the first place.

your head is droning with the numerous hits as you feel jaeyun's voice pierce through the buzz, reacting in an instant as you put your hands on his chest to push him away. but he doesn't budge as he still holds you close, the shakiness of your body makes him want to hold you tighter. yet, he gave you space as you wipe away the tears, a groan came out from deep within you as your eyes find your friends', which are full of concern.

"i, i'm okay. just-" you swallow down your saliva, "all of you can continue. it's nicho's turn, right?"

they all look around and at you awkwardly. you felt jaeyun's hand giving a pat on your back as you darted towards him, towards his eyes as you pushed out the first thing in your mind that could calm everything down. your swollen eyes widened as you looked up and down at his figure. jaeyun's face changes from worry to curiosity—knowing what your gaze is telling. then, he felt your hands reaching for him. nay, reaching for his waist underneath his baggy graphic tee.

nicholas had moved to the tablet as you still stare at him with your knowing gaze. slowly, you bite down on your bottom lip—knowing that he will take the bait as his hands curl on your back. the only coping mechanism you know that will get you away from that mindset you wanted to not even think about in the first place.

"we'll be going first, okay?" jaeyun spoke up, aiming his words for the others. your eyes still stay on him as he watches how everybody nods. nicholas is already pulling sunghoon with him when jaeyun hears a nirvana song playing in the back. as the first notes of come as you are ring around the room, the door has already been slammed open, and you pull him with you into the dark hallway.

the evening outside is decorated with a purple hue as you walk down the pavement. your eyes are looking both ways to know when to cross the street when it is clear. whilst jaeyun is just letting you pull him away—knowing the end result of it all anyway.

this is the first time you had ever been so open to fuck. usually, he is the one who signals first.

both of your feet rush down the sidewalk when you see the motel getting closer—sunghoon's SUV parked in the parking lot indicates it as you both quickly climb up the stairs to the second floor of the accommodation. jaeyun fetches his key from his bag's pocket as you wait beside him, urging him on by how tightly you are holding his hand. and as the door opens and you both clamber in, jaeyun quickly closes the door before pushing you to it, trapping you as you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hot clash of kisses. he keeps up with you, with how pushy and clingy you become as you even bite on his bottom lip near his lip ring, making him groan as he moves his hands around your body, feeling every part of you with his palm.

after both of you have kicked off your shoes, jaeyun crawls his hands down to your thighs as you accepted his signal; raising one of them before he lifts you up, holding you as he turns you both around towards his bed—lips still connected as he feels the saliva spreading around his lips from the fighting tongues. when he drops you down, he quickly removes your bag as you take off your top as fast as possible, making him have to keep up with your pace as you stand bare before him. instead of waiting for him, you kneel down quickly and help him with his bottom layers as you are met with his growing cock after tugging his pants down.

licking the underside of it, jaeyun peers down on you as you use one hand to stroke his shaft and the other hand moves to play with his balls, fondling the two as his hand moves strands of your hair to clearly gaze at you. your lips move towards his tip, kitten licking his slit before taking the head in your mouth with a pucker. a hum comes from you as he let out a trembling breath, biting his lip so hard he can feel his skin breaking when he tasted the iron. your eyes are glimmering under the minimal light, shining from taking on his member as you take more and more of him before closing your eyes when your nose ring trailing up his shaft until he felt the wall behind your mouth before you pull your head. yet when you open your eyes, you look back up at him—sticking your gaze on him.

"give it to me," you mouthed, your lips brushes against the head of his cock when you say the words as he felt the jitters from how it is getting more and more sensitive as you take him in. jaeyun watches how your free hand shifts from his balls to play with your pussy. his hands then hold onto each side of your head as you nodded as you continue to bob and take him in, making him picks up the pace as you kneel there pliantly, accepting what he is giving you as you continue to rub yourself and move your hand to his balls, edging him more and more with how much he can push himself into your cavern.

"gosh, you want me to ruin?" jaeyun asks as you let out hum with his cock in your mouth, eyes blinking towards him as he pulls away after a few fast thrust, looking at the strings of saliva connecting his member with your lips as your mouth is left agape to take in every oxygen you can.

the boy then stands you up as you let him, pushing you on the bed as he climbs on top of you, kissing your lips before going down to your neck as he gives a huge suck—knowing the hickey that will show up there when you gaze at your refelction—before he inserts two of his fingers into your moist hole covered with your arousal, earning a gasp from you as your hand reach down for his to do whatever he is doing. but he has something in mind for the girl who is craving for him.

you let out a whine that gets cut as he moves your body to rest on the side. jaeyun rested behind you before he stretched his inked left arm so you could rest on it, and he could move his hand to hold your shoulder down. his other hand lifted your leg so he could slot himself between you, resting it on top of his hip. your hand reachs down for his cock that is brushing against your lower lips, tapping against the sensitive clitoris you were rubbing before you push his tip between the rim of your hole as he pushes in, hand on your thigh as he moves his hips so he can enter more of himself in you.

a moan came out from you deliciously, making him turn his head to look at you with a squint in his eyes and a smirk forming on his face. pulling back until the bulb of his head is left, jaeyun pushes back in deeper as you let out another loud moan full of yearning. you had never moaned so loud before. even with the many times he had fucked you, you were always the silent type: gasps, small-volumed moans, trembling breaths, and unhinged jaw. but when he heard the pornographic moan you let out from this position, your body all stretched out in his liking, he knew he had to get more of them out of you.

with your body brushing against the mattress and his arm, the boy picks up the pace as he watches your facial expression full of bliss. eyes shut and jaw opens as moans came out of you following every thrust you both are receiving. his left hand that holds onto your shoulder felt your hand gripping onto it as you turned to look at him beside you, reaching with your hand to settle behind his head and get a hold of his lock as he caught the signal to press slight kisses on your lips and the corner of them. jaeyun also lets out moans as he watches you, blubbers coming out from you as your walls mold to his shape as he feels all the sensations in the right place.

jaeyun pulls your head closer, bringing him nearer to your skin as his lips touch your side of the face. whispers of dirty talk flow out of him as you opened your eyes with a hooded gaze, glancing down and watch how his cock is filling you up deliciously with how it dissapears inside of you so easily. his eyes are closed as he fully felt every nerves of him waking up from the pleasure, not realising the sniffles coming out of you as another liquid hits the bridge of his nose. pulling away slightly, he watches the tear falls from the corner of your swollen eye—the one that had cry before this and the one that had endured his cock baraging into your mouth until you almost couldn't breathe.

"are you okay?" he had asked as he slowed his pace down when he couldn't help but remember what happened at karaoke. however, he felt your hand on top of his that is resting on your tummy, pushing down on the bulge you felt so he could feel himself inside of you.

you nodded your head and replied, "letting go."

he returns his sight from your tummy to your eyes to find them all dark, goggling at him as you push your hand against the bulge he made inside of you once again, rubbing your hips against his. jaeyun can't help but force you to meet his lips, leaning down as best as he can as he continues to thrust. with every increase of the pace, more of your moans fell out as it blends well with the sticky noise coming from the skin-to-skin action as he puts a grip to hold your body still as he chases after your high, feeling how your walls are gripping his shaft like your fingers are to the pillow on his bed. then, when he pushes his fingertips and rubs them against your clitoris, he lets out a growl when your walls become tighter and eventually pushes him out as you actually scream.

squirts come out of your opening as he watches them spray across the mattress and felt them running down his thighs, leftover moans come out of your whilst jaeyun slap his hard cock against your lips as he gives a searing kiss to your temple when you peek towards him, still nodding as you continue to want more. and so, he moves you again so you now can fully clutch the pillow with both your kneecaps resting on the mattress, face against the bed as he brushes his cockhead between your buttcheeks before the tip caughts onto your hole as he thrusts in deep, feeling your cervix hitting the tip as your moans are muffled with your face burying itself into the pillow you are hugging. the boy's pace quickens as he presses kisses down your arched spine. your walls continue to clamp onto his shaft as he felt how trembling your body is, slamming his hips against your butt as he grips onto your hair and pulled the head up, letting him sniffs your scenr and sucks more hickeys onto the crook of your neck and collarbones. one of your hand grabs onto his as you guide it to grope your breast, squeezing the skin of it as he groans in your ear when felt more of your arousal flowing down as he fills you up with his semen.

breaths blow out of you both unorderly as you twist your head and find his lips, kissing them while jaeyun felt how your hips are moving against him once again. pulling out, he hastily flips you onto your back as he watches how both of your cum is flowing out of you before he stops it with the head of his dick as he pushes in. your legs are spread wide unconsciouly, watching him with a pleasure-fulled face of open mouth and tears of delight coming out of your hooded lids. with his stamina, the boy increases his speed as he leans in close to you, feeling how your belly button piercing presses against his skin as he folds you in half. your eyes then open, noticing how they are darker than before as you nod your head instinctively—not fully in control of your own body as he is the one taking charge, but also because you are slowly not feeling fully there.

"don't stop…" you mumbled out, holding your legs open for him as your eyes rolled back into your skull with every deep thrust you get. edging jaeyun even more from your actions, he makes his thrust faster and thorough as his fingers also rub your clitoris, feeling how your walls are pressing around him once again as he chases after it with his own high. when he spurt more of his cum into you, you let out a cry as another squirt of cum comes out of you, making his release flow out of your slit as you opened your eyes wide and skim to his face—his eyes also darkens like yours.

nevertheless, the only words that are is coming out of your mouth scramble his mind once again: "don't stop."

and so, he didn't stop until you both fell into exhaustion. jaeyun manhandles you into another position, thrusting upwards into you as your hands rest on his chest. your body is limping as he realises how gone you are from the pleasure—entering another space of existence. it makes him pull you down into a hug as he chases more of your release alongside his own. yet, when he fills you with another set of cum, your lips still utter "don't stop."

he fucked you in more ways that you both had actually done before. jaeyun moves you more into various positions: one with his hand pushing your head on the mattress as he kneels with your flat figure beneath, your front facing away from him as you bounce above him, and another previous position when you ride and face him as you finally crash down on his figure. your body is quivering with broken giggles coming out of your mouth as you lean down your head on his chest—feeling every cum that both of your bodies make blends in and staining the mattress. jaeyun gives you many kisses all across your face as your hooded eyes blink, feeling the muscles spasm all around your body as he feels your arms wrapped around him, making him hold you close as best as he could.

"i'm not letting you go this time," he whispers into your ear, earning a nod from you as he spreads his palm over your shoulder blades to hold you tight against him. your walls snuggling him as he glances at how your face relaxes and lets exhaustion take over in making you rest. however, when jaeyun looks at the ceiling of the motel room; he couldn't help but feel like a total shit.

'what is this feeling?' he asked himself when he unconsciously soothed down the back of your head as your breathing became much stable than before at the crook of his neck.

'it is only sex, right?' jaeyun asks again as he looks back toward your figure lying on top of him.

in this arrangement you have made, all actions are mutual. many times, he is the one who initiates sex. and if he can show his want to have sex with you, then you can also do the same with him. he will do what he was doing from the last few minutes numerous times more if you had asked for it. yet, you said you are "letting go", you indeed "let go" when he can assume how clouded your mind is. when you had said that, every vigorous thrust of his going inside you felt different—like it was coated with a different coating than what happened last time.

when he thinks about it, every caress on your body become so fucking different in an instant. he looks at how your eyes are tightly shut. tiredness taking you away into the dream state as he gives a one slow caress from your neck and following your spine until nearing your bottom. that the way he was fucking you moments ago—even if it does looks so dominant and tough—felt more in benefit for your pleasure than his, an ulterior motive you haven't been able to speak to him until now.

"i got too fucking romantic. apologies," jaeyun mumbles to himself, but it is actually for you, even if you are not awake.

the boy recalls moments of how it came to be: your trembling body against his as he soothes you down for the first time; your head resting against his shoulder as you sleep beside him in the vehicle; how he sometimes gave more of his food to you because what you order is not exactly in size from the menu; how he helps you with aiming for your pool game against on of the boys; how he lets out a small smile when he notices your camera lens recording him but he is looking straight at you instead. how soft his touch became when you said "let go," before it was replaced with "don't stop."

gosh, jaeyun's having feelings for you. but he knows you may not feel the same.

that is the nature of this established relationship you two have—how you help him relax after a night full of adrenaline—and how little you also reciprocate about it from the numerous times you have denied being with him after every intercourse. shaking his head, chuckles of bafflement come out of him. because even if you are in his arms like right now, he couldn't fucking read you. and so, the only way for him to show it is by comforting you, being your shoulder to lean on like a friend would. jaeyun does just that: his eyes looking down at you as he soothes his hand down your back in a stable rhythm—forcing his eyes to be wide open as he doesn't want you gone when they finally close.

however, his body was also exhausted as sleep beckoned him to succumb. his eyelids were already drooping and almost covered his eyes as his hands found a part of your body he wanted to hold, pushing you down onto him so he could feel your warmth pressing against his cold skin. and so, jaeyun lets sleep take him into the dream state, hoping to find you there as well.

he did find you there. you were smiling as you sat beside him. your hands interlocked with each other as you stared at the void of a view in front of you. yet he doesn't care about whatever the view before him is unless it is you there in his vision. but a brush of coolness startles him awake and he looks down to find the warmth he senses is his body covered by the bed's duvet. then, he glances to the other side of the bed, finding it still so tidy.

you were gone. just like you usually do.

a frown decorates jaeyun's face as he gulps his saliva down. shaking his head and straining his face to not let his burning eyes let out something full of disappointment, but also leftover guilt.

he sits up and rested his bare and hurting back against the headboard, feeling his flaccid cock brushing against the material as the cold hits his torso, making him snuggle more into the cover. his eyesight skims around the room—finding evidence of his rendezvous with you still there as he formulates memories to hold onto the remnants of them. jaeyun found his clothing pieces and bag scattered on the rugged floor. but he doesn't recognise the book that is lying there as well.

jaeyun's legs almost fall out as he stands up, feeling how his muscles are tired from the intercourse, meeting the sensation of being half awake as he steps onto the rug-textured floor. eyes on the book's silhouette as he steps forward and picks it up—even with his joints hurting from holding his body up to not crush you. he recognised the distinct texture of the book as a moleskine notebook when he brushed against a protruding sticky note on the top of the book. opening the page where it is sticking, his eyes widen when he looks at what is written.

five makeshift lines stretch from one edge of the page to the other horizontally. filled in circles and x symbols scattered and placed on the lines, and he also sees the flags on the right side of the circle of x. jaeyun can read these symbols, already hearing the parts playing in his head with what each of them associates with. he looks to the top of the page, finding the words "rosanna shuffle" with lots of underlines. then it clicks in his head as he recognises the sound. how the beat sound with the stops and ghost notes as it continues to the keyboard part playing in his head when he recalls the song that this very shuffle drum part comes from: rosanna by toto.

it's a drum notation. but it is not his. and there is only one other person who came into the room hours ago with him.

it must be yours.

with his mind expanding about the knowledge, he flips open the rest of the pages as he finds more drum notations with notes scribbled on the space around the main musical staves. drum notations from songs he identifies like easy lover by philip bailey and phil collins, head over heels by tears for fears, in bloom by nirvana, and even reckoner by radiohead. but when the pages he flips come nearer and nearer to the front of the notebook, he finds notations that have more scribbles to them, like they are so regularly revised. looking at the top of the page, jaeyun scans the names of songs he doesn't know. utopia? animal noises? voyager? he questioned the words as he arrived at the very first page of the notebook.

thumbing it around, he found the same phrase that shows up on the top of the page alongside those words he had questioned—the words he realises are song titles. and so, he reads the phrase he found beside each title; the name of the band that he voiced out.

"dawndreamer."

-

as the door clicks behind you, feet dragging against the rugged floor with your shoes and undergarments held within your hands, you eye the dark room with a lone small lamp lit up on the desk as you hear the sniffles coming from the sleeping sophia tucked in her bed. the sweat is sticking onto your skin along with yours and jaeyun's cum trailing down your thighs and drying there.

honestly, you feel like shit and you look like it too when you step into bathroom after dropping your items by your bed. the lights on the ceiling shine down on you as you see your reflection. marks and hickeys marred your skin from your neck to your wrists. swollen lips and eyes staring back from the mirror as you scan yourself until they dart lowly at the porcelain sink. your hands holding onto the edge of it with your fingers curling into the material—giving a small pressure on them before turning towards the shower.

in the past three months of your situation with jaeyun, never had you outwardly used him like that. yes, most of the times when you both fuck each other is when he wants to let out pent up adrenaline so he can go to sleep easily—the others are where you both are horny—but being that rough has never occured in every session you have held before the last. your mind was blanking on some memories there that look more and more like vignettes instead. the euphoric state captures you as you witness yourself from a helicopter view; how elevated the sensation is as you enter a domain filled with absolute pleasure. but when it dies down as you regain consciousness, sensing him still inside you as you didn't stick to your own bargain of the deal, which is to return to your room right after, you realise that it has consequences.

the cold water washes down your skin as you lather it with bubbles from the shower gel. hisses coming out of you when you felt a slight tinge of hurt as some part of the skin that was scraped open from that sensation. but you deserve that when you push him to do so and he also says no to it, because the memories of why you did that don't erase fully; especially now with the added weight of this whole ordeal alongside it. and so, you start to rub down your skin a bit harder, feeling the numbness of your muscles from the stretch and bruises coming from that session as well.

guilt climbs into your veins as you can taste its bitterness in your mouth, not even knowing how long you had stayed in the shower in the dead of night until you notice your fingertips getting wrinkly. when you finally wear only a simple, oversized t-shirt over your underwear and gulp down your birth control pill, you don't hesitate to quickly grab and consume your antidepressant pill as well. primarily because of what happened today and the emotions you felt when you heard the very song playing in that karaoke room's speakers. it is true. sophia knows you can sing—there are numerous times you had unconsciously sung the song you play in the shower and she has complimented you for it—but because it is the final stop of the tour and knowing it may be the last time you will have fun with the core team, you can't help but to say yes. you just didn't know that this song would hit you with that pain once again.

it has been two years since you last came to haeyang. two years since the day that changed your trajectory forever. you gaze at the lit-up path on the side of the beach from your room's window, looking at the dark waves coming closer to the ground like it is crawling back into your heart. that is when you see the shining beacon from the lighthouse, adding more to the overwhelming sensation of the muffled crashes of waves as you turn around to go and tidy up your items. all the memories that are flowing in make you push to suppress them as best as possible by doing anything else other than wallowing in those emotions invoked while waiting for the pill to kick in and make you sleepy.

placing your bag on the bed, you rummage through it as you feel everything there, your wallet, your camcorder, your phone; except one item.

quickly, you pour your belongings on top of your mattress as you scan each item. dread slowly but surely shows up prominently and filters your sight. because you couldn't find the rectangle silhouette as it is separated by its pen, now lonely between your phone and your wallet.

your notebook is gone.

fingers twitching, you recall every trace of the steps you have taken with that bag of yours. that includes when you wake up in the vehicle that is nearing the motel and when you carry it along with your luggage into the room right after it. the bag is with you when all seven of you go to the karaoke place and you never pull out anything out of it once through out that part—including when you cry at that fucking song. then, you remember your strap slipping down your body as the bag follows with jaeyun's lips on yours, brushing those thoughts away with his touches.

jaeyun might have your book.

with a palm slap on your forehead, you rub it down your face before massaging your creases as best as you could with the frown showing on your face full of embarrassment. he might've read it. he might've caught onto something that you have been hiding when you moved on. but you never truly move on, don't you? jaeyun could put all the points together with the way you can sing, especially in how shocked his expression looks when you start to sing after so long in such a loud volume amplified by the microphone.

you gazed down at your palm, seeing the calluses in creases of each of your digits as you felt them burn with the sensation. folding them into a fist all balled up, the sensation is gone as you pack up your things and put your bag on the desk before turning off the desk lamp. your figure, shrouded in darkness, walks to lie down on your designated bed. the only source of light is from the moonlight coming into the window that you haven't fully covered with the curtain as you hide your whole body under the duvet, hiding from everything, as you know that you have to confront him in the daytime. preferably today before he spreads it to his friends.

when you wake as the moonlight is replaced by the sunlight coming in from the window, you pivot back to find sophia still asleep deeply after the effect of the alcohol she has probably taken more after you and jaeyun left the place. you tug on the hoodie and sweatpants you had owned since high school as you eyed the clock that is telling you to get brunch, your rumbling tummy reminding you as well. eyeing your phone screen with notifications from the group chat that includes all seven of the main amperhyphen crew, sunghoon and euijoo are already at the american-style diner that you had remembered seeing when you walked down the sidewalk with jaeyun. knowing that if someone has already staked their position to eat, the rest will follow, including jaeyun.

your footsteps feel heavy as you walk towards the stairs to the ground floor of the motel, striding towards the pavement when you turn your head and find the diner building so near to the motel. biting your lip, you brace yourself and rush there as fast as possible.

eyes gaze at the exposed clear window where people are eating their meals, you barge in with a dingling bell sounding at the top of the doorframe. but your sight is set on the five boys with differing hair colours sitting down on the booth table whilst waiting for their meals to come, with the appearance of the boy with dusty blond hair making your nostrils flare.

when you arrived at the table, the four boys were talking amongst each other as the last one—the blond one—listened in on the conversation. but his hand was rubbing against the front cover of a notebook and gently touching the pages on the side like he owns it: your notebook.

"there she is." jay had spoken when he was the first one to find you approached. but, quickly with an eye on a gap in his hold on your book, you quickly snatched and held it close to your chest and heart. a deep frown forms on your facial expression as you look at the blond boy.

"for fuck sake, don't you know not to read what other people owns?" your statement startled the boys and also the waittress tending to the counter after the last customer other than the people you are working with steps away and go do their activities outside. your words are aimed at one person who is looking at you with wide eyes.

"(y/n)! i didn't know you are also a-"

"so what?!" you retorted, making jaeyun flinch as you glance at the faces that the others have. nicholas, who sat next to him, looks at you before looking away. euijoo, who moves his eyes to look at him mixing his milkshake with a paper straw, and jay, who has a look of curiosity in his pair. every gaze that you capture with your eyes of their eye contact goes away when you catch and decipher the look coming from them—including sunghoon, who you believe is the one most logical about this situation, still looks away from your fiery stare. because combined with the way they act, their eyes are telling everything.

they know. jaeyun told them.

your foot reacted immediately, retreating your body away from their booth as you shook your head with an even bigger swing. punishing them for their inner cats chasing into their curiosity about something so personal to you, not minding that they will get killed even with a swipe of your movement. hugging the book tight against your chest, you secure it as you run as quickly to the door—hearing the shout of your name in jaeyun's recognisable voice as you don't stop.

leaping down the small flight of stairs of the diner's entrance, your shoulder was hit as you looked back and found sophia's surprised expression quickly turning into one that was full of concern.

"are you okay?" she asked—not like you aren't the one who slammed her and you have to be the one asking it instead. but you couldn't refute like you usually do. hiding it will make it worse. the city itself, the memories you have of this city, and the love you lost in this city all come back as you stare into her soft, worry eyes. for the first time in a while in this situation, you shake your head in disagreement with sophia's question as a tear fell down your cheek. you are not okay.

you push yourself away from the diner and the parking lot as you run on the pavement. your mind is set on one place as everything you tried by coping against it—from drugs like the antidepressant to the sex like you had last night—doesn't work to get rid of it. it doesn't work when you are outnumbered by the nightmares as you let your feet carry you away, knowing where they will make you go as you turn the corner on the edge of the street, running to the one with a name that you recognise.

each steps feel so heavy, reminiscent of last night when you walked out of jaeyun's room. but you still let the aesthetic of the town sink into you as you gaze at the building no taller than five stories high. chipped painted walls of some building exteriors scattered in the view, letting you see the mostly mom-and-pop shops' signage. views of cafes with their sitting area bleeding out towards the sidewalk to some places with a small patch of soil to accommodate the growing tree rooted there. but, your eyes are focused on the signs with the street names, combing through to find what you are looking for: the intersection.

the four-way intersection is mostly clear as you can see the clear markings of newly painted crossroads on all sides and the warning yellow cross at the square between the four streets. yet, all you could see at that intersection is yourself, all tussled as you gaze down one of the streets to the truck that scurries away down the road. the corner shop staff at the intersection go out to look at the wreckage with a few other bystanders helping the other passengers—your friends—as you turn to face the reflective surface of the metal. hand on your phone from calling emergency services as you just know, you just know that you might be the only one that survived.

at the corner of the four-way intersection, alone under the sky nearing noon, you crumbled.

your figure falls onto your knees as you hug the notebook so tightly against your chest. body trembling as you let the tears fall out of you in a free fall, reaching your neck and staining your hoodie as you sobbed hard. and, with your body leaning down against the concrete into a bow, you prayed. you prayed for your friends who didn't survive that day, prayed for any higher power out there to elevate you from the memory of this place. but, even after two years, you can only sense the underlying guilt and grief remain in dormant until it all comes out at this moment.

you gaze at your wrist as you decide to bow down before placing the palm against the textured concrete surface, seeing faint slit marks of self-harm that even goes deeper and breaks a vein—many times of contemplating suicide as you just want the pain to go away. you don't deserve to be the only one living. you should've died with your friends that day. and as you remembered how pale their faces have become when you acknowledge that there is no oxygen flowing through their veins anymore, you wail into the morning space as everything that you have been suppressing all arrives back to you.

the way that you could've fucking avoid their deaths on your hands as the one on the steering wheel, to swerve or even press on the brake even if you are supposed to move because the light is green. the following court case on the truck driver as you are brought into the town's courthouse as a victim and witness. the faces of your friends' pictures as you attended their funerals, which all of your families agreed to be buried side by side with each other. their families treat you like their daughter because their own daughters are all deep under the soil. how you had lost your dream forever as it goes along with them.

your palm pushes you back to a kneeling position, feeling every tear and snot all come out of you as you don't even mind rubbing the palm dirtied by pavement onto your face. that is when you felt a warm hug around your shoulders when you heard the familiar feminine voice you've found comfort in in the last three months.

"the boys are so fucking shitty. they were only just standing there, but i can't stay still and i had to run after you," she said into your ear, humouring you with her usual cadence in talking as you let her move your torso upright, still sobbing out as you let your head hang in her embrace.

even if sophia is just a friend that you know from attending college, she has been there since day one. she knows you had some depressive thoughts and she has seen your wrist bandaged when you went into the class you share with her. but, she doesn't know that this is the thing that triggers all of it and how severe it is with how you have to be prescribed pills to help function yourself if it gets too much. because all you wanted was to move on, to move on from those broken dreams you shared with your friends, from the fame you receive even momentarily, to live your life while able to balance your love for music—to be able to play the drums openly again. and as you kneeled there, continue with praying with your inner voice at the makeshift shrine you imagine in that corner of the intersection, you let out a huge breath that is still as shaky as ever as you turn your head, facing sophia who is looking down at your kneeling body with huge frown on her face.

"i, i have to tell you something."

jaeyun is still in a daze as he watches you running away, his feet following your path when he catches sophia's glare through the window before she chases after you onto the sidewalk you were running on. his eyes trail her figure as she disappears, feeling his heartbeat also jogging as he turns his head towards his friends. call him naive, but jaeyun doesn't know why you reacted that way. he wants to embrace you into his arms when he finds out you can play drums, proudly telling his boys that you have been playing drums by showing them the drum parts you are learning or able to play. some of the songs even shocked them as they teased him that he couldn't even play it—already set up a jamming session so you could play with them as well after the tour ended.

with your explosive reaction that startles him, he knows that there is something deeper as to why you didn't tell him or the others you used to play drums. for that reason, it left him in intrigue as his mind is echoing the name of your band.

so, jaeyun walks to the counter all by himself, sitting on one of the stools that overlooks the preparation area as he gazes at an older woman preparing the food and an androgynous-looking girl cleaning up the place. the girl hears the bell from the window in the kitchen area as she turns and picks up the orders from the table and brings them towards their booth. while the old lady picks up the plate of jaeyun's order and places it on the counter before him. her salt and pepper hair makes jaeyun let out a small smile as he peeks down to see that there is a strawberry donut he didn't order on the small plate beside his brunch.

"on the house," the old lady says, seemingly able to read his expression full of conflicting emotions.

"thank you, ma'am." jaeyun replies curtly as he gazed at the food and then at his trembling hands. one of them slowly picks up the heavy weight of his phone from his sweatpants pocket when he remembers what the guys also said when he shows your notebook to them.

"i also don't know who dawndreamer is," sunghoon said.

"wait, so (y/n) used to be in a band?" jongseong questioned, and the boys continued to discuss as jaeyun quickly grabs the open book that is placed in the middle of the table into his grasp.

his fingers itch as he finally opens his browser and types "dawndreamer" into the search inquiry. pressing enter, the first thing that shows up is the name and the subtitle underneath it: "rock band." in the picture section, he finds a monochrome photo of what looks to be a picture of four teenage girls. their faces are pretty blurry as jaeyun scrolled down to find the first two links of the band for their instagram and bandcamp.

the instagram account opens as he presses on it, letting him see the pictures that are mostly abstract arts and the band members doing something, with the recent one being a post of black background and white text: an announcement post. so, jaeyun presses the last post before it, seeing the date to see that it was last posted two years ago. most of the posts are the usual posts he sees posted in amperhyphen's own instagram account, showing their artistry and authenticity as emerging indie musicians. he scrolls through a post full of photos of the girls in high school uniform showcasing their favourite vinyl LPs they own, such as sufjan stevens to vampire weekend, like it is a showcase of who they are as musicians and their inspiration as they cultivate their own flavour. but one post captures his attention. the recognisable face he admires.

it was a picture of you behind a drum kit, the stick you are holding is blurry as the photo was captured mid-action when you are twirling it. it is a candid picture as you are looking another way towards the ride cymbal. the background is dark so as to make you the focal point. you haven't had your septum piercing as he couldn't see a glint of light under your nose even with the flash photography. staring at that image, you look so comfortable behind the kit, like he also feels as scans and recognises that your kit is pretty similar to his.

scrolling upwards, he finds the pixelated post he had scrolled past to notice that it is a video. jaeyun watches as the video starts, a band—dawndreamer—that is playing their instruments in the small venue as he presses the volume button on the side of his phone to hear it louder. the frame was so pixelated he could only focus on the sound, hearing your drum part playing tightly with the strumming guitar chords as the bass comes in, adding the harmonies alongside another voice that sings along. jaeyun's eyes focused on the drums as he could see the pixelated image of you playing the drum full of intensity, seeing the movement matching to the sound that he is hearing as jaeyun's eyebrows furrows whilst looking at your pixelated self—holding the song on as the glue between every other members instrumental parts before the video loop in back to the start.

jaeyun's breath was taken away from him as he scrolled back up to the recent post, finally meeting the announcement post he dreaded to read as he also looked at the date it was posted. two years ago. the last update of the band that he just got to know. the last update of the band you played in—a part of you you never told him before. and so, he reads what the white text says.

eyes_on_dawndreamer: thank you for everything.

for all the support, the prayers, and the words of encouragement. we won the suit in haeyang's courthouse and that is all because of your support too. we were four girls with a big dream in revolutionising alternative rock music—a dream we had shared with each other since we created this band during our second year of high school, to then releasing singles and EPs on bandcamp, to even going on tours as we have all graduated. and now, all that remains is one girl. i would like to thank gaeul, tsuki, and ningning for being there for me. they are the bestest friends a girl could have wished for. and i hope that all three of them could be happy wherever they are in the skies.

as for the band, it doesn't feel right to continue without them—as a one-woman band or even adding new members. dawndreamer is as much their band as it is mine. it is not complete without them when i can only do so much because they all complete me. and with all the respect i have for that name and that dream of ours, i decide that this is the end of dawndreamer. i would love to thank every person who helped us to reach these heights, from the crewhands to you: the fans, who have been patient with all of this process. i am saddened that this cuts away the chance for us to greet you. to perform before you.

the dawn will always rise

-(y/n), your fellow dawndreamer.

as the sombre tone of the post hums in his head, he pulls out his headphones from his bag and puts them on before opening the bandcamp website that links to dawndreamer. inside it, he sees numerous cover art of your band's releases as he presses on one of them randomly, finding out that it is one of the EPs you were talking about in the post. he doesn't hesitate to press play on streaming the digital track at the top as he scrolls down to read the comments, praises singing towards the EP as he couldn't help but smile at the comments. then, your voice pierces through the song with the strumming guitar playing underneath. the voice that hints at certain emotions as you sing the lyrics while the drum plays with the rhythm of open hi-hats and kick bass. he can already see how you will play this live and how beautiful it will be as you open the song and the show with your voice and drum playing.

jaeyun felt his eyes were burning with tears as he let the bandcamp stream play the EP when he opened another tab to continue his research of your band, finally able to scroll down the search result when the third result showed him a news headline. a headline that makes him feel a heavy thump in his heart:

dawndreamer's gaeul, ningning, and tsuki pass away in a car accident, (y/n) survives.

-

for the rest of the day, jaeyun hadn't heard back from you directly. the last information about you came from sophia who told the group that you would be joining back tomorrow, as they are setting up the stage to continue your job in recording the behind-the-stage b-roll footages. yet, he knows more about you than ever, especially concerning the car accident you experienced in this very town.

the numerous articles he had read created multiple tabs in his browser that even made him stay up at night—he can't even comprehend what you are feeling even with all the information the internet has shown him about this. about you. about your band. about the case. how you were the only survivor of the car crash, and how you were in the driver's seat that day. how you, as the only surviving band member, decided to put your effort into getting the driver jail time and pay for the damages, especially to your bandmates' family—even if you are still 18 years old. how you were on tour at that time, the day after the crash was supposed to be your concert day at haeyang. how you were a prolific drummer that even many articles have mentioned your playing, dawndreamer being highlighted as bands to follow not knowing that it will only be so short of a career. how you are technically his senior in the music industry, becoming a performing drummer at 16 while jaeyun just started making songs with his amperhyphen bandmates during college freshman year.

words are being ingrained in his head as he realises a lot of things about you that click in his mind. how you sometimes fidget in a rhythm that you caught from anywhere you can hear them, like the drop of water to tapping on a laptop's keyboard. how as you watched them rehearse whilst sitting in one of the seats by the FOH, you tapped your thighs in rhythm with his drumming; your camera on your lap as you had gotten enough behind-the-stage footage to edit for the next set of posts to publish at the band's social media. the way he could feel faint bumps between the folds of your fingers—smoothed-out calluses that he also got from playing the drums that you have also helped bandage around his fingers, eyes focusing down as he looked at you attentively, like you are reminiscing about something as you seemed to familiar in fixing up these types of injuries.

when sleep came to him, the last thing on his mind was your peaceful face when you are asleep on top of him. too tired out from your sexy time with him but full of blissfulness when jaeyun's thumb smoothed out the creases on your face.

that nagging feeling continued to last inside his mind when he came to the diner once again to order breakfast, finding sunghoon talking to the phone with the corner of his lips turned upwards. as the manager's eyes found his friend, the call ended as he turned towards jaeyun.

"the instruments arrived last night. the stage crew are setting them up as we're having the rehearsal tomorrow morning. i'll be going there after finishing up breakfast," his friend uttered with a stern voice and a slight brush of relief. the boy nods before thinking back to those ghost notes he had caught onto and seared into his memory. the ghost drumming sound that always comes up right when he arrives at the venue to do his rehearsal. if his assumption is correct, he had to go there to witness it with his own two eyes—because he has his guesses and one of them is the certainty of who is the one making those notes.

"can i go earlier with you? right after i'm done with my breakfast?" jaeyun tugs in his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie, making sunghoon gaze at his body to see how truthful his friend is asking of him with raised eyebrows.

"sure. right after your breakfast." the boy looks down at the empty booth as they both sit across from each other, letting the girl from the diner last time take in both of their orders.

with his stomach full, jaeyun gazes out the window of the shotgun seat beside sunghoon, watching as the town buildings slowly morph into tall and lush forests that shade the scenery as the car continues to drive on the road. his head leaned against the glass overlooking the outside as he also found what looked to be a bus stop littering the side of the streets meters between each other. as he continued to gaze outside, the vehicle drove up onto the hilly road as it climbed up to the venue. then, a few hundred meters from the last bus stop, his sight came across slivers of a large land behind the trees as jaeyun heard the clicks of the turn signal and sunghoon moved the steering wheel to let the car go inside the lot.

it is mostly empty except for trucks and other vehicles that are parked, as he recalls that those are the vehicles bringing the stuff for the concert tomorrow. leaning forward against the dashboard, he gazes at the venue, which looks to be a lone abandoned convenience store that supposedly has everything. it is large enough to be a concert venue as he finds various posters stuck on the wall and the boarded windows with wooden planks. a concert venue that is so his style and where his band can see them perform at.

when he stepped out of the open car door, sunghoon was already walking first as he greeted one of the moving crews and the ones with the concert staff. they all gave a handshake towards jaeyun as the group moved toward the side of the buildings for the backstage entrance. behind the doorframe was a dark space that looked so faint until he stepped closer to find the silhouette getting more vivid—gazing at the lights that line up the hallways.

"are all of the instruments inside?" sunghoon had asked.

"yes, we have finished assembling the drums and speaker while the other stagehands are testing the lights. one of your crews is also checking in," the head crew said to sunghoon as jaeyun let out a slight pout. then, he heard it. the faint drumming voice from inside the venue. he had a guess who this crew member is because one of the three main crew—sunghoon, sophia, and you—only one can play the drums. jaeyun's heart is beating hastily as he peers into the darkness where the sound comes from, hoping that all of his predictions are right.

his footsteps follow the hallways lit up with the minimal lighting to test out the stagelights, arriving at the larger backstage area where he recognises the crates of his drums and cymbals. the sound gets louder and louder before the rhythm falters. then it starts again, the snare, kick drum, and hi hats moving in a mixture of a half time and a shuffle. the hesitation from the first round of playing becomes more confident as it continues. he walks down the path to the wing of the stage, noticing the beam of the light shining down on the stage as he pushes past to get to a clearer view; the sound dimmers as he stands by the wing overlooking the exposed part of the stage.

underneath that beam of light is you, sitting on the throne behind his drum kit, holding onto his drumsticks as he steps closer to the edge of the wing, one step away from the stage. jaeyun watches as you sit there, holding the sticks upright as your eyes are closed, mouths moving slowly like you are meditating. you look ethereal behind the drum kit. your posture signals that you are so comfortable there that he can relegate his space to you, too. deep down in his heart, he regretted not knowing it sooner, and you had to actually hide it because of what happened—playing behind the backs of people who are helping to succeed his band.

your head leans down and looks at the open notebook on the stand, your phone leaning against the page as he watch your finger presses on what looks to be an audio folder. after the press, your voice speaks out, but it is coming from the speaker of the phone as you count down like a metronome. then you started drumming, hitting the parts of the shuffle with your hi-hats and kick drum playing in a steady and fast rhythm as the other stick plays the ghost notes on the snare. the rhythm plays like the notations he reads from your notebook.

as piano and guitar enter, his eyebrows are lifted as he witnesses how you are doing the rosanna shuffle so well. even if he likes progressive rock music like toto and yes, he has always thought of playing their drum parts later in his career because he is not prepared enough. even with the mix meters he recognises from playing a lot of math rock, many of prog rock songs are longer to play and complicated. but you play it flawlessly, a shuffle so tight he could see your written notation floating above your head as he remembered.

the way you drum has a level of tenacity that makes him more mesmerised by you. but that constant cycle of awe cuts short as he also heard the sound of you talking back in the song—like you made the edit layered with your voice for a reason.

"here comes the slow part, one, two." your voice talks from the recording as the song enters the prechorus that stops the shuffle altogether before it ends with a few crashes and you counting down back to the shuffle as the chorus plays. jaeyun couldn't help but mouth the lyrics as he saw that you were doing the same. then, your voice gets louder as you enter the second verse, singing along with the song. a smile grows on the boy's voice on how your singing doesn't break the rhythm of the shuffle and the timing for the crash that transition to verse section b. he watches as your eyelids are nearly shut, slowly getting into the space: the space he is always so addicted to when he gets in—a flow state that he got when he is drumming. no other thing can distract him from that flow state as the world melts away.

jaeyun's head bops as he gazes at the way you smile unconsciously; the spotlight shining on you as he can see the way your lips are now grinning so widely. the realisation hits him as the numerous ghost notes he had caught listening to before his rehearsal are you practising the drum part of the song, from the half-time shuffle to the part where you move to the ride cymbal. and this is the time you are truly nailing it. every single hit of the drums, every single beat that you feel running through your body, you have done so by following the recording of your voice guiding you through the song. like a rally driver with her navigator marking each turn and each gear shift changes, cruising through the race track that is rosanna by toto. jaeyun thinks that this idea is ingenious, especially combined with the notation notes he had seen you write—maybe there's the reason why you are so brave enough to learn hard drum parts by prolific drummers of history, such as the likes of neil peart in rush and john bonham in led zeppelin.

but then he saw your eyebrows creased as the song landed in the last pre-chorus, your eyes were still closed as he noticed the wrinkles around your face's t-zone before you shook your head and continued drumming. jaeyun felt his breath hitch as he heard your sob that echoed towards him. the spotlight allows him to catch the sheen of liquid coming from your eyes as you try not to stagger with your hands that are playing the last crash transition. you mouthed the lyrics with your heart as you entered the last chorus. the boy finally noticed your tears coming down in a free-fall down your cheeks. a long exhaled breath coming out of him as he watches with raised eyebrows and squinted eyes.

he understands it now. he felt it. how cathartic it seems for you to do this, nearing the end and nearly failed but you persist. the frown of your face forming as you're realising something and he can only assume it, but you might be doing this whole thing for your bandmates who died here in haeyang. to know that you are still capable of drumming. a swan song that tells the universe that even without them, you can still drum.

as the main song ended with the fading piano solo, your drumming still continues as you play a solo section that he is also witnessing. playing the tom-toms still in the beat as you improvise with the ending, adding crashes as you interplay the half-time shuffle with your own pizzazz. with the hot spotlight beaming down on you as he could see your face wet by tears and sweat, his breath was carried away. how he could see how you pour every strand of your drumming skill into your muscles when he also got a flicker of what looks to be blood flying from the hands gripping onto the sticks. your eyes now open widen as you heave, creating the most satisfactory ending when you realized that the song and your voice that is navigating your playing has stopped, ending with cymbals crashing before the last cymbal crash, kick drum, and snare hits altogether, making you actualy jump from the stool as the sound echoes in the empty venue. his breathing noise becomes loud as the sound frequency travels from the drum kit, echoing all over the venue. then, jaeyun heard it; the sobs kicking in as you lean your head down, back hunch, and shoulders shaking.

you couldn't stop shaking, pain flowing through your body from muscles strains to heartache as you looked at your hands, opening the folded fingers while slowly holdng onto the drumsticks to witness your bloodied hands, two cuts form at the fold between your forefinger and middle of the palm on each hands as blood continue to pour and gather at the opening. your eyes looked beyond the drum kit to the space where the audience should be standing, to find no one there. to find out that your friends aren't there watching you. doubts that have haunted you numerous times during practice sessions for this drum part come in like a flood, that whatever you practice and what comes after is all a failure. that they will not come back.

they did not come back.

in the empty venue with a lone stage and a spotlight on you, your cry rings against the walls. the acoustics of the room make it even louder as you curl up to yourself as best as you can, swiftly bringing your bloodied hands to yourself so that it doesn't stain jaeyun's snare drum—not minding at all if it will stain your clothes instead. though as your heart continue to hurt, you just can't help yourself to put the your bloody palm agaisnt the left side of your chest; feeling the ache inside you squeezing in both catharticness of finally able to play the drum part until you are satisfy and the onslaught of hopelessness replacing it instead. the aftermath hurts like a drug redrawal, particularly as the realization hits that even with playing the drum part perfectly, your friends, your bandmares; they're not coming back.

that's when you heard the sound of a few sniffles coming from the stage wing. turning your head, you find jaeyun and his frowning face, looking back towards you.

you carefully wipe your tears away from your eyes, feeling the warm blood staining a little bit on your face as you say, "i'm sorry for staining your drumsticks. i can replace it if you want."

"no, no." jaeyun exclaims as he steps out to the stage, jogging towards you as he treks on to the foundation of where his drum kit sits and kneels on the floor, facing his body towards you. your fingers continue to shake as more of your grip on his stick loosens. his eyes look at them before you when he watched you close your eyes and let another onslaught of tears fall once again.

"i, i hope," you hiccuped, "that if i could play the rosanna drum part perfectly, then my bandmates can come back to me." you bit your lip even for a few moments after mumbling out, head shaking once again, "but it doesn't change anything. they're gone. they left me behind. i…" you looked down at your palm to watch the streaks of blood and it staining the wooden sticks, "i should've gone with them."

"i'm here," jaeyun could only utter. you open your eyes and meet his, feeling the sincerity exuding out of him as you continue to your jittering to get rid of it all; knowing that it is not as simple as that.

"you've must have known i'm a drummer when you found my notebook." your gaze is still on the floor before turning to face his drums for a few seconds, "i, i also want to apologise for playing your drums. i shouldn't have done that without asking for your permission."

"i forgive you, (y/n)," the boy carefully handpicked his words, knowing that you are in such a fragile state. he should've never even taken advantage of you that night, even if you pushed him on to continue, now understanding how much pain you are feeling even if he now knows you are using sex to cope with them. he doesn't mind kneeling for so long right there in front of you as you take your time to process everything. he watches over you and the way your fingers still twisted up against the drumsticks—not wanting to let go. when you hiss as the surge of pain comes from the open wound on your palm, your eyes look down at how jaeyun is holding on to your wrists so gently. the weight of his touch on your limbs lets you know that you aren't fully alone now.

your eyes blinked as you felt the warmth inside you thawing whatever rigidness you had built as a shield, knowing that yes, you have to talk about this sooner or later. all of this because he is also involved.

"can you stay by my side today?" your request had made him lift his eyebrows which you then follow with, "i feel safe with you." jaeyun nodded instantly, letting him pull the sticks of out your hands and places it in his bag as he helps you stand up, gathering your belongings into your bag before giving it back to you—not even letting go of his hold on you.

the boy stayed beside you as he watched the water turning a tint of red as you washed the dried blood on your hands, not even caring to clean up the stains of blood on your clothes, as you looked up at the mirror to find your swollen face and you exhaled with tremors. gently tapping on the hand with tissue so lightly, you met his gaze in the mirror's reflection as he watched you with a certain level of sadness. when you lean into him, he accepts you with his arm wrap around your waist as he gives a small kiss on your temple, holding you close as he follows you to whatever place you want to go.

your eyes met with sunghoon's—whose face is surprised but changes into a slight frown when he sees you—and he gives you a curt nod as jaeyun brings you away. you both left the venue's lot and stepped onto the bus. your head rested against the wide window as jaeyun still has his eyes on you, carefully holding your wrist even if he wants to interlock your fingers, because pressure on your wounds will just hurt you more. the bus drives down the hilly forest into the downtown area as you both step down at the bus stop by the beach that is overlooking the orange sky and the sun going nearer to the horizon.

you both sit down on the bench by the beach. the view of the lighthouse on top of the cliff paints more to the ambience that is the town of haeyang as you hold your hands to your lap. jaeyun is sitting beside you with his back leaning against the bench's backrest as he gazes at the beautiful view of sparkling water by the setting sun. then you started talking, reiterating what he might have known by the time he had found your book to this current moment. how you have your own band like his amperhyphen called dawndreamer, but your bandmates died in this particular town from a car accident against a truck.

"i was there, driving the car, and i can't help but be responsible for that event in my life." you let out a short chuckle as you continue to look at the glimmering water from the shining sun, knowing that jaeyun will listen. "we were listening to our shared rock playlist when we arrived in haeyang for our concert. rosanna by toto was playing as we all are basically continuing our carpool karaoke session. i also can't help but drum along by tapping against the steering wheel. as we drive to a green light four-way intersection when a truck comes through and slams into us from the passenger side of the car. we tumbled as the truck doesn't even fucking brake, continue to drive on and even slamming onto a lamp post before driving away. rosanna was the last song my friends heard as their pale skin just tells me that they're gone. the song that i will always cherish now." you can't help but blink away a little burn from the tears that are starting to form.

"you were driving in the intersection at a green light. you did the best you could."

"i should've…" you cut jaeyun off instantly before shaking your head, "i don't know why i'm telling you this. we're fucking friends after all." hearing the words that define your relationship nudges a little pain that blossoms in his heart, "but maybe, me talking about this could make you help me navigate all of this, especially because i've been using your drums too. without a verbal permission."

jaeyun moves his body and fully faces you as your fingers continue to curl and uncurl, knowing that rubbing the sweat off your palm would make the pain worse. the sunlight shines into your eyes, your side profile is mesmerising as ever, as he recalls back that your words say that you don't see him the way he sees you, especially in the ever-growing relationship you have.

"for the past three months, it has been such a wonderful time touring with you. with all of amperhyphen and sunghoon, and, and sophia too. seeing you on stage makes me feel like i live vicariously through you. we had similar genres going on with our music, so i can already imagine playing your drum parts on the stage. i was determined to be your friend, but we became something more… physical." you peek towards his side, making you tilt your head even a bit so he knows he is getting your attention, "but there is something more there as well."

you lightly bite your lip as a small scoff bubbles out from you, "you were holding me so warmly, especially in our last two stops. you always sat beside me when you first realised that i drink pills for motion sickness when we are doing long intercity trips, because that's one of the side effects from the car accident. you're trying to make me stay in your room when we agree that we will go back to each of our rooms after each fuck. but i always felt like you were stringing me along as i tried my best to stay down and deep on the ground, where i lay out myself so that i don't have to be swayed by you."

as jaeyun takes in all your words in his mind, from the denial to the bargaining, he is struggling to find the right words because he remembers all the times you left his room at night, all the times he had felt right after you went away from every fuck session you both had—including quickies and what not—and how he realizes that you're always cool at the receiving end of it all. that certain coolness also allowed him to be clingy when you reacted so naturally, but much of what you mentioned, he is doing them unconsciously. the last time you went to sleep with him was the first time you demanded him to do something, realising just how awful the power dynamic has been with knowing his situation as a musician and you are his staff. he can understand now what you meant by "stringing you around" because every time you both interact for intercourse, it is at his behest. and then he treats you more outside of it, too—knowing that that is not what you two agreed on.

jaeyun had wanted to give you a signal that yes, he does that because he cares for you. that what he is doing outside of the bedroom is his way to repay you for what you both have done. that he felt worried when you said that you were too tired or too sickly. that he discerned how his lips twitched when he heard you laugh at whatever his friends were saying. that he can't help but still be so mezmerized when watching you under the spotlight and even under the setting sun right now. he wants so much to repay you, to let him treat you like you treat him.

"every time you left after we fuck, i am always awake when i supposed to go to sleep." your eyes glance to the corner as he started speaking. your eyebrows starting to fold. "at the beginning, it was quick, five minutes to 10 minutes, when i just think about how you felt against me before that. but as we got into more of them, it gets longer, 30 minutes to one hour to then more." he lets his eyes meet yours.

"it was just me trying to take you in deeper than just surface-level memory: into my heart. when at first i was thinking about your body, then i started thinking about you in general. how in that time that feels so long before going to sleep, i was craving your warmth." jaeyun moved his hands, making you look down at how he is clenching them on his lap. "the last stop before haeyang, when you went away, i had contemplate to come and get you back, to let you sleep with me."

the boy let out a small chuckle before pursing his lips. "i did that actually. i stand in front of your door for 5 minutes, contemplating if i should get you back in my arms again for the night. but i can't, it breaks both of our boundaries that are going to be more bent beyond repair. and what happened two nights ago, when you were pushing me to fuck you so hard…" one of his hand move so he could feel yours, letting it graze your skin ever so slowly. "i'm so concerned for you, but you were having a bliss and you were pushing me to do so. so it's my turn to fulfil your wants that night. and then you stayed in my bed, exhausted. i stayed awake that night for a long time as i wrapped my arms around you and wish that i would still stay awake until you wake up, taking in that you're beside me." you peer down towards the hand that brushes against his, feeling the pain from the wound that are still there as you stretched the skin surface with your movement.

"what i want to say, in all of that rambling nonsense, is that i like you, (y/n). you playing the drums is a plus bonus because i already like you before that." his hand moved so he could touch your palm so gently, not wanting to press down on your hand as he continued. your eyes returning back to his face, who is now looking at the setting sun before glancing back to you. "i am addicted to your warmth and knowing how distant you've become the past few days makes me realize that i can't let you go like that. for the past three months, you're the one that has been there with me. understanding me when i sometimes rant out to you even if we didn't fuck that night. you were taking care of me, cleaning my makeup and patching me up when my drumstick broke and scratching my skin until it bled," he eyes your palm that is nearing to touch his, curling his fingers just for a little, but not adding pressure for a skin-to-skin contact.

"let me do that back to you. i want you to know that i'm here for you too, your beck and call, just like you are to me."

you take in his words, curving your fingers gently between his as you let out a huge sigh. you gaze back at the setting sun and the orange light filling up the sky around you. the sound of the crashing waves becomes the background noise for your process each and every phrase he had uttered about you. from the night after you left, to standing in front of the door, and his confession. you felt absolutely weird after saying what you said before him, but the lens you are seeing it through is changing from neutrality to a positive view.

after a slight squeeze coming from you in your connected hand, jaeyun lets out a silent exhale when you slip your hand from his touch, making him turn his head towards you as you still sense his light touch lingering on your skin. you finally spoke with a question.

"can you let me take it in first? let me process all of it?"

"absolutely." jaeyun immediately answered, "you're doing such a good job." he continued, leaving it so vague that it encompasses every worry you have of everything. you slowly stand up as you let your palm be grazed by the cool wind, taking a step backwards slowly towards the direction of your motel, which is so close to where the bench you both sat.

"good luck with the performance tomorrow, jaeyun."

he lets out a smile as you turn yourself around, glancing down at your swaying hands to see the blood staining your hand, then at his that was connected to your palm—seeing the little speck of your maroon blood on his skin. hollowness lets the air float inside him as he knew that that is what would happen anyway. that he does have feelings for you, he likes you and is very much interested in you, and the guilt is filling up because he was so fluctuating in his actions that he gives you mixed messages. jaeyun felt how his shoulders sag into himself. he will have to wait for you until you are ready with your answer, but for now, that worry also transfers to the state of tomorrow's performance.

the very last one. and he will have to pour it in with all of his might.

-

jaeyun's body jitters as he peeks out from the left wing of the stage, watching as more and more of the crowd enters the venue before turning around to face the backstage. he walked towards the vanity table where sophia had put makeup on him and the rest of his bandmates, lightly biting his lip ring as he gazed at the ruffled blond hair and his black and red tattoo on his left arm with the black tank top on through the mirror. he catches the sound of claps as he sees sunghoon standing nearby the stage, making him turn and walk towards him as he tucks in one side of his in-ear monitor. jongseong, euijoo, and nicholas all gather by their manager along with sophia who stands back. their faces are all full of smiles as he looks around and can't help for the smile to grow on his face too,

"come on! this is THE last stop. let's end it with a fucking banger." sunghoon had said as the other yells in excitement. he could see sophia taking the video of the band as they do their group cheer. hands on top of each other as jongseong—the designated frontman—starts the yell and they all move with their arms up high in synchrony. jaeyun's hands have bandages wrapped around the area he is most prone to cuts as he glances at the hand that taps on nicho's back and the other holding onto the set of drumsticks whilst they stay by the wing. when the lights from the building turned off, he could hear the crowd enrapturing in the darkness and he looked one last time at the wing to find no presence of you.

shaking the shivers off of him, he then steps onto the stage as more cheers come from the audience who are watching their moving silhouettes. jaeyun climbs on the foundation where his drum kit stands and sits on the stool, placing the drumsticks in each hand as he can't help to glance down, gripping onto the sticks that have your blood stains—the pair you were playing with yesterday. in this very moment, he remembered your words perfectly.

"seeing you on stage makes me feel like i live vicariously through you…"

and with the sticks you marked within his grip, you are now playing with him on the stage. he sure hoped that you were still watching him, even if he didn't see you before the concert starts.

he looks at the rest of his bandmates who are setting up their instruments, straps across their chest as jaeyun hears the familiar guitar tuning sound from the speaker. the pressure comes suddenly, digging onto his shoulders as he caught the eyes of each of his friends, all are assuring each other that they are ready as euijoo nods towards the stagehand at the side.

when he heard the click track in his ear, the spotlight lights up on jaeyun as he starts the song, knocking the drumsticks with each other as the rest of the band plays their first song, which starts with an instrumental. his head starts to buzz, focusing on the click track and also on nicho's bass as he plays the lines along with the drums. his eyebrows start to furrow, jaw tense as he plays the part and the transitions between each section of the song, like the many times he had practised and the few times he had to revise and improvised. yet, under that spotlight, he is reminded of you. you who had played his drum kit full of vigour, focusing on stabilising the rhythm and supporting the song as best as you could. jaeyun can see himself in third person, watching himself like he had watched you yesterday, drumming away under the stagelights and the vision from the audience watching them.

his hooded eyelids, a tell for him that is slowly going into the flow state, become wide open full of awareness when he gets into the right dosage, looking at every cymbal and tom before on euijoo's and jongseong's backs who are singing into their mic stand. then, he let himself view beyond his kit. his sight is looking at the fans who are watching them in awe, some are singing along, some are nodding their heads as he glimpses from one corner and trails down the barricade area. when he arrived at the other corner, he also saw a crew who had their hands wrapped with pristine white bandages that stand out from the darkness, a few bandages on the fingers and a bandage on the fold between the forefinger and middle finger on each side—similar to what he has on his hands.

jaeyun continues to look that certain way as he watches he reflecting camera lens moving downwards even for a bit, looking at the owner who doesn't focus on the viewfinder but instead on him: you. you with a smile on your face that makes him tug his own lips to mimic it as he heard jongseong yelling "hello, haeyang," whose audience cheers for the greeting before he goes to the guitar solo as the boy stabilises his rhythm to support the guitarist.

the concert continues on and jaeyun couldn't keep his eyes off of you for most of it. you're moving from one side of the room to the other as he lets muscle memory kick in after the tens of performances he had done for the tour. jaeyun had to look at the others too when they turned towards him as the band played their instrumental parts, hearing screams of his bandmates' stage name and his own "jake!" bursting into the space as they seemed, more or less, feels like jamming for themselves instead of perfoming for an audience. but that is what is desired for the crowd who continues to urge the band, as he could feel the familiar growing chemistry that combines in their performances. yet, the others didn't notice when they turned back as he continued to glance at your way.

he continues to glance at you as you record them playing on the stage, running around with your camcorder as you zoom in on the way euijoo is picking his guitar strings before turning towards its fretboard to capture his hands moving in chords as the sound continues. jaeyun can't help but peek at your face now with a new context—how you looked at euijoo with a sense of pride in them, like you are seeing your own bandmate performing on the stage and playing the guitar. when you moved to record him on stage, he turns his head in a suave way as he focuses on the drums, earning giggles from you, and he smirks as a reaction because he knows that it is only for him to notice.

jaeyun continues to play for the next hour or so, taking a bit of rest that includes the drink break as the members are all speaking into the mic and interacting with the audience for a few bits. sweat trailing down from his head to his torso to even on his exposed kneecaps of his ripped jeans as he continues. returning back into the flow state that makes his body move on autopilot as the adrenaline kicks in and produces once again. his tongue is licking his bottom lip ring unconsciously as he can feel the beat entering him, and yet, he is still holding onto the consciousness that is the unanswered confession of his to you. an anchor that makes him more aware, which in return makes him able to gauge the force he had to use to drum away—controlling his stamina as best as possible until the end of the show.

his hands move to the crashes as the last song nears the end. nicholas, euijoo, and jongseong all sang into their microphones as he mouthed the lyrics near his mic stand, head lulling following the rhythm for the last time, to then let the music stop and the spotlight shining on jongseong, who continued playing his melody as the music faded away. yet, jaeyun's eyes landed on yours when he could feel the fulfilment in him that is making him want to let out every emotion he is feeling through his tears. and he did so.

the boy smiles when he feels his eyes are burning, turning back towards the stage as euijoo says his final, final goodbye to represent the band.

"this is amperhyphen signing off from the tour! thank you so fucking much."

he heard the cheers and claps that is making his ears numb, causing him to pull out the in-ear monitor as he takes in the reaction that hits him hard. a sole tear fell down from the corner of his eye as the spotlight shines once again on the stage, seeing nicho opening his arm that is making him step out from his stool and jogs to the front of the stage. jaeyun never lets go of the drumsticks when he and his friends all gather in a group hug. finally. finally letting go of the big pressure of the touring in this last performance that has gone through without any clear hiccups. he can't help but lean his head against jongseong's shoulder, hearing euijoo whispering just between the four about how proud he is.

as he steps onto the wings when the audience all go out from the venue, his breath is knocked out of him when he feels arms wrapped around his sweaty body. arms tangles and pressed against his back as he felt the familiar warmth—making him wrap his arm around the figure as they pulled away, finding your face that was hidden in the crook of his neck when you hugged him. then, he felt one of your bandaged hands cup his cheek and make him lean into you, crashing your lips on his as his splayed hand rested to hold onto your back.

at first, he was in a daze before he could reciprocate, feeling your warm breath on his face as you let him push his tongue into your mouth, earning a muffled moan from you that made you both pull away. both of you are taking deep breaths as you lean in closer to his face.

"i like you too," you spoke to him, to answer what he asked yesterday.

"r-really?" he felt how his heart beat kick-started into a fast pace so suddenly.

"yeah, sim jaeyun. i like you too," head producing nods as you say it. then he wrapped his arms around you as you squealed, hugging you so tight as he peppered kisses all over your face. you pushed him away, making him look back at you with an overwhelmed face.

"are you alright?" jaeyun questioned so suddenly as you wiped a little drop of tears from the corner of his eyes. you lean your nose as it brushes against his.

"never been better."

the others come in as they all gather around you, feeling all the stickiness of their sweat as you roll your head to look around when you feel them hugging around your figure—even with sophia's little squeeks as she is brought into the hug as well. a group that you called family for the last three months. then, you pushed your head to rest against the exposed skin of jaeyun's shoulder.

"we're going to celebrate tomorrow, yes?" jongseong asked the group after they created their distance to look clearly at each other. all eyes are on sunghoon who looks at them with a small smile.

"yeah, one more day for us to relax here. then, the next day, we can go home."

"alright!" nicholas exclaimed as he already had sophia in his arms as all of you turned towards the backstage area. you quickly pack up your items, checking for the last time all the belongings in your bag to find them all there before you turn around to find jaeyun leaning against the wall with his arm crossed in front of his chest. his muscles are flexing as he found your eyes and lifted one of his eyebrows. walking towards him, he pushes his arm towards you as you grasp his hand, feeling his bandaged fingers meeting yours as you take a low, sharp breath when you feel the pressure that remains there.

stepping out of the back door, you and jaeyun expresses your gratitude to the stage crew who has worked hard on the concert tonight, hands not letting go as you small talk with a few of the stagehands that helped you with the recording, telling them to send the clips they have to the cloud folder you had mentioned yesterday so you can make the edit to put on the band's social media. you return to face jaeyun, who only has a warm smile as he was staring at you before turning his head towards the car that is starting its engine. you wave the crew goodbye as you both quickly go to the vehicle, the passengers are waiting for you two outside as the ones with the designated seats at the very back.

the car drives down the road that is full of trees on either side, making you lean your head against the glass window as you can see your own breath fogging it, your sight focusing on the moon's shine behind the branches and leaves of trees. then, you felt something on your shoulder as you peeked to find jaeyun's nose and mouth in your peripheral vision, letting him gaze at what you were seeing. the trees starts to thin out and more buildings start to show as you eye the downtown area of haeyang. finding that most of the businesses are all closed except for the nighttime ones, like bars and fast food restaurants. the view also includes the beach as the vehicle approaches the motel, seeing how the streetlight by the path before the sands highlights the shore area before it is being covered by the buildings and the now familiar parking lot.

"you have a key copy on you, right?" sophia turns to you as you finish stepping on the flight of stairs, still connected by hand with jaeyun as you turn to find nicholas' arm is wrapped around her shoulders, and the view of the other boys retreating towards their rooms.

"yeah!"

"nice!" she replied with the same enthusiam as you before a smirk came out on with an expression, "though i don't think that we will be needing them anyways." nicho giggles at her saying when she turns towards him, making you raise your eyebrows before turning to the boy beside you to see him wiggling his own, which you reply with eye roll.

"well, have fun, you two. just like we will have fun." nicholas gave a wink to both of you as he guided sophia, who gave you both a small wave, to his motel room—leaving you behind in the corridor with jaeyun.

"let's go?" he voices out, returning his eyes from his friends' figures to you as you meet them with yours.

"let's."

the walk towards his room feels different from the last time two nights ago. when the previous one has more energy to it—both of you are necessarily tipsy and full of lust; this time is much more comfort-based, where you both are just happy being in each other's company. you had a restless night the last two nights and you don't want to make it worse with your overreliance on antidepressant pills. that the night before the concert, when you told jaeyun everything, you had watched sophia's breath whilst sleeping as you thought about your feelings for him, not being able to sleep yourself. how you used him for yourself at first—joining the crew just so that you could relive those concerts again whilst memorising it digitally—but also for your closure and how it affects him and you.

leaning back on the cold pillow last night whilst you stare at the ceiling, you realised that you do like jaeyun. his sizzling touches turning soft as he guides you to the car, or when you're hanging out with the others with him. the conversations still felt normal, like what friends should have, but his warmth felt different whenever he sits beside you or tells you to sit beside him. having the same position in a band—the same job if you squint at it—makes you more open with him, even if you didn't tell your other side to him at first. but the chemistry is already there. you have a lot of things in common that you can now voice out after acting so nonchalantly about the band that creates music you actually listened to. trying to create this image of yourself that just doesn't feel authentic when you are more similar to the boys than the image of a typical social media person—where sophia's attentiveness to the cracks makes you open it fully, especially in this very town.

you tugged your sneakers off after loosening the laces. jaeyun is already a few steps away as you view his room. his suitcase is closed so tidily with his other belongings on the desk. placing his stuff by his bedside table, including the drumsticks he used today that he hasn't let go, he turns towards you and helps you pick up and place your bag.

"you wanna join me?" jaeyun asks, his head turning to the open bathroom door beside you already with its lights on. facing him once again, you looked back at his eye-shadowed and eye-lined eyelids as you just knew what you were doing next and nodded. you walked towards him as you pulled out a pouch from your bag and the makeup cleanser and cotton pads before walking into the bathroom. there, you find items strewn across the sink counter. but the one that caught your eye is the box with the photo of the bandages that are wrapped around his fingers.

scooting a bit more, jaeyun stands beside you as you catch his reflection on the mirror across from you both. his fringe was all floppy from the sweat accumulated from performing. his eye makeup was melting to the side of his cheeks as he caught your eyeline. giving a thin smile, you put the items on the counter between both of you. and as you grab onto your cotton pad, jaeyun follows as he spreads the cleanser flat on the pad he is holding before letting the coolness touch his skin. he watches you as his hand mimics yours that is moving around your face, wiping away the eye area as he can see the dark colour smudge there.

you also wipe your lips and cheeks, letting your cream blush and most of the colour of your lipstick all gone as you chuckle when you turn your head to him, making you point at the upper lid of your own eye as jaeyun wipes there. serenity washes both of you as you wait for him to finish, looking at your covered hands as you slowly curl your fingers, feeling the strain of the muscles there—but also the leftover pain of the wounds.

a hand reaches for yours as it wraps around your wrist and pulls you towards the closed-lid toilet. jaeyun brought you to sit on his lap, your breath knocked out as you pulled back to look at him below you. but his attention is on your bandaged hands.

"let me help," he mumbles before peering up at you, making you nod as he brings one of your hands before him. with his left hand holding it still, you watched him slowly pulling away the bandage on the space between the two fingers, the slight pressure dissipating from your hand. the cool air graces your scar as he flips the hand with the palm now facing upwards. his hand then continued to remove the other bandages sticking onto your skin, now letting you see the scabbed scar as he could see the little blisters around from the broken skin surface that is healing up.

"we need to get another layer of antiseptic after showering on these two wounds." jaeyun uttered as you watched him, not expecting for him to actually kiss the skin around scar as he hold it so carefully. that action makes you cup onto his jaw and pivot his head for you to easily kiss his lips. jaeyun instantly reciprocates, moving his pair in tandem with your other bandaged hand resting on his face until you move away and your forehead rubs against his.

gently, you helped him open his bandages as he continued with yours. he reacts with a hiss when he sees the blisters on your fingers that the first layer of skin couldn't keep safe, waiting for the cells to regenerate. while you admired his fingers and felt the hardened calluses on them and how they're more spread than the ones on your hands. both of them have proof of drumming as you both adjust on how to grip the sticks in your own ways, creating friction against the skin that rubs too much and creates chaffing you both have to endure. and as the last of the bandages is placed on the counter, both of your hands then peel off each other's clothes.

skin-to-skin contact makes shivers run down your spine as you breathe out so shakily. your body already recognises his touch as you feel his muscles on his chest and toned arms. the black and red tattoos gracing his skin as you felt his lip ring adding coolness to his warm kiss on your neck—feeling your nipples hardening against his skin as jaeyun stands in front of you. helping you to stand up, you both then tugged down your bottoms as you stood bare before him as he to you. usually, when you both are fully naked, one of you will jump on the other and initiate that habit you had created with him. however, as you stand before him now, those acts were being pushed back as you eyed each other before he leads you to the shower area behind the glass.

the shower head pours out water as you stand at the back, letting him test the water out before asking "is this alright for you?" as you place your hand against the falling droplets.

"yes, it is," you answered as jaeyun steps first and you could feel how your breath hitches. as you stand across from him, you watch as he lets the downpour hit him with his eyes closed and head tilting back, letting the water glisten down his body. from his nose, down to his adam's apple. from the chest and it trails down following his abdominal lines before going to his v line as they drop from his big hanging cock. you lightly bit the inside of your cheek before returning to his face, finding him already watching you as he moved to the side to let you stand under the pouring water.

you let it flow down your skin, feeling the grime washing away down the drain as you stood in front of him. the water wetting your hair as the strands get heavy, brushing against your skin as it flows down until your nether region and dripping down the side of your thighs. your hand brushes against the skin, making you wince even a bit as the water grazes the blisters across your hands. jaeyun moves to the side as he squeezes the soap that the motel gives in the bathroom before turning towards you.

"i can't imagine how much you're struggling in soaping yourself," jaeyun mentioned as you chuckle, letting bubbles show up between his palms after rubbing them.

"i'll help," he mumbled and you nodded, making your turn around from him as he lathers the soap across your back. you let out a huge sigh, feeling the pressure of his movement massaging your muscles, especiallly your shoulders. as it continues to go to your waist, you then turn around to let him pour some soap on your palm before, as careful as ever, spread them against your palms without hurting yourself as you help him too. his hand brushes against your belly button piercing as you spread against his upper chest.

as you both continue to spread soap on each other's bodies, the air feels different. gone was the lustful atmosphere around you when you two are doing something so domestic, so calm and careful, as you also reciprocate his impromptu massages with you doing it to his back muscles as well.

you both stood by each other, his hand that was spreading soap to pull the dirt off of you now rested against your waist. your head is tilting forward as you brush the shampoo away from your hair. jaeyun is also doing so until there is no slippery surface you can feel. his warmth combined with the relaxing warm shower, but then he starts to do more.

tilting your head to face the tiled walls, you sense his hand moving down to your hip before moving closer to the middle. you stepped back and felt him behind you. his skin touching yours as you felt a gush of your arousal that was threaten to show as you kiss him backstage finally showing up—and you also feel his cock becoming harder, felt it sliding between your buttcheeks.

"you're gorgeous," he whispers into your ear, making you lean your head back to graze against him as his hand moves now to your middle. his fingertips brushing against your lower lip before finding your clit.

"hah!" you gasp as he rubs his fingers against your sensitive bud, which you like. and with his haggard breaths against your skin and the pelting water flowing down between you two, you reached out behind your figure until you felt his cock and wrapped your hand around it.

in all that time of jaeyun brushing his thick lips against your skin, you could feel yourself getting warmer against even the warm water. shivers continue to spread across your body when you feel his other hand moving closer to your core. the moisture you are excreting is evident in his touch as his breath gently caresses the leaf of your ear. eyes now closed, the eyelids only letting a small amount of light seep inside your vision as jaeyun continues to trail kisses from below your neck and to your shoulder. your hand continues stroking him, feeling how his blood runs in his veins and makes his member harder.

opening your eyes even with droplets sticking onto your eyelashes, you turn your head to the side and bring your free hand to cup his cheek, guiding his lips to yours as they crash against each other—both of your breaths are taken away. your lips pursed as you felt two of his fingers plunge inside you, combining with the one caressing your clitoris as you adjusted your stroke to his pace as you also mind about your wound. water runs down between your faces as your hooded eyes meet his, breathing against each other's lips where every brush of movement makes them meet.

you could feel him pushing you towards your edge as jaeyun groans, his jaw unhinged as you also have your mouth agape. shaking your head, you know you can't take much longer after all the sud have been down the drain.

letting his cock go, you turned yourself around in his embrace as your force push him towards the tiled wall. hands on his nape as his naturally moved to your hips when jaeyun lets you kiss him hard. his head knocked against the wall softly as he sense how you are rubbing yourself on him. a leg slowly lifts up against his and that makes him cup both of your cheeks, pulling you back to face him. jaeyun nudges forward, letting his nose brush against yours as he says, "let me love you on the bed."

nods came from him as you follow, blinking slowly at the boy as one of your hands grabs his and he turns off the shower. the soft towels dried most of the liquid from your skin as he brought you to him and helped dry yourself as best as he could. your hair is still full of water as you brush your lips against his—earning giggles as you try to squeeze as much out as possible.

as the bathroom door opens and jaeyun throws the towels somewhere near it, you throw yourself on his bed before scooting up to feel the soft pillows under you. his wet blond hair sticks onto his forehead as he crawls above you, pressing and trailing his lips from your ankle towards your leg and arriving at your core—giving a long lick that makes him hum and you gasp because of his lip ring. and it trails upwards. licking your belly button and its piercing, to your sternum and giving sucks to both of your nipples, to your neck and sucking eac side to give you little lovebites, to your jaw, your cheek, the button of your nose, and then your lips as you open your mouth to let his tongue in; hands bracing him as it settle between you.

his hard and red cock presses up against your lower lips as your hand moves to grab it, making him move back a little as he watches you guiding his tip to your slit. finding the hole where it catches, you use your other hand's fingers and spread it open, creating a perfect target for him to push in as you both fleet your eyes back to each other. the sensation is all so familiar, but something you both aren't tired of—especially now when many more emotions are flowing between the two of you. stakes much higher than ever before as this is the first time you lay beneath him bare—both physically and psychologically.

small moans came out of you as you held eye contact with him, sensing the delicious push as your walls formed around him once again, gripping onto him as something so familiar. jaeyun's look on you has something different other than lust, evident with him brushing the baby hairs sticking onto your forehead as he brought his lips closer to yours. your eyebrows folded as he pushed himself until he reached the hilt, caressing his tip against your cervix as you bite your bottom lip before raising your head slightly to give him a small kiss. your hand curling against his wet locks of hair as you nodded at him, folding your legs near his hips as he rolls into you.

jaeyun watches how your face contorts, the silent moans combine with the loud ones from before, creating a perfect balance for you. a stable balance to receive his passion as he felt your fingernails moving against the skin on his back. eyes continue watching his—never letting go.

"you're mine…" you mumbled out as one of his hands rested on the pillow beside you move to brush against your lips. his thumb is dragging your bottom lip as jaeyun continues to thrust into you slowly, feeling your arousal coating him to create smoother movements.

"i'm yours and you're mine," jaeyun echoes, forehead leaning against yours as you gaze into his beautiful irises.

"always has been yours," you trail your hand across his back and cup his cheek, making him lean into the touch with his now enlarged eyes—asking an unsaid question about what you said.

a small chuckle comes from you as you reply, "you're the very first that claims me." and the corner of his lips lifted as he reads into every word you said. and as you move down your hand to his back, pushing him deep as you both let out gasps, you make it clearer to him. because you have nothing to lose anymore when he knows everything—he wants to know everything about you and you want to know about him too.

"the very, very first and forever."

jaeyun let out such a delicious moan as he pressed his lips on yours, making you brace yourself against him as you sense how his thrusts become faster. your heels digging into his skin as you give your control to him. moans bounce against each other as you can't help but grip onto him so tightly. his wet hair forms in clumps as it dries when you touch them. your eyes flipping back into your skull as you nodded to him, eyes speaking to him with whatever you want to convey.

"yeah?" you nodded to his reply.

"please…" his mouth caught onto your whispers.

"voice it out for me," jaeyun follows with a groan, baring his teeth that are gritting against each other. "let me hear what you say to me out loud."

"please… fill me up with you. i'm all yours- fuck- yun!" your head continues to move as he slams his forehead against you, rooting his body on you there as his hips moves against yours—your own also moving in rhythm to chase that high. the moist sound fills the room as the skin-to-skin contact is proof of the passion you have for each other. your thumb traces his bottom lip that he is biting before letting it and the coolness of his piercing meets your swollen pair. eyebrows furrowed as you felt your muscles spasming as he didn't let go, making your warnings swallow by him as you felt yourself shaking against him.

jaeyun moans into your mouth as he continues moving, your walls clamping down as his sound vibrates against you when your hands cup his cheeks to hold him tight. a warm liquid spurting inside your walls as he holds you close and tighter than ever before. pulling away, your saliva is sticking to each other as the lamp beside you shines on the glistening skin around his thick lips. giggles bubbling out of you as he follows, pecking your kiss before flipping his position—making you straddle onto him with your hand bracing against his tattooed arm.

you teasingly wiggle above him, feeling his cum and yours trickling down and pool against the base of his groin. leaning down, your chin rested against his chest as he fixed his pillow's position. his hand moves to your back, caressing from your pubic bone and up your spine as you smile at him—knowing that you both aren't going to have much sleep with the leftover lust in his eyes full of love. turning your head towards the bedside lamp, you caught onto the wooden texture of his drumsticks when you actually had to do a double-take. mouth slightly open at seeing the realisation of the crimson spots on the grip side.

the pair of drumsticks was littered with blood stains. the drumstick you played with yesterday—the drumsticks he was playing with tonight.

your hand reaches for one of the sticks as jaeyun watches, feeling the wooden material grazing your skin as you fixed your grip—the stains are mostly covered up with the way you are holding it as you eye your numb wound that is very much alright with the contact. eyeing back to the boy, he only tilts his head at you: confirming every thing you are thinking about as he gets his reward by a small kiss under his eye.

pushing yourself to sit upright, you fix your position as if you are sitting on the stool behind the drum kit—feeling how his cock is still snuggled inside you and how messy this will be. but you were too tired and tangled to even be thinking of going away from him, and then, jaeyun watches you as you twirl your drumstick in your hand. the wooden stick glides across your fingers as the momentum of the swing feels so familiar for both you and him. you lightly bit your bottom lip to see how you are doing the twirls you do when you are so in the zone when playing.

"since when did you play drums?" jaeyun asks a crystal clear question between the two of you that he didn't ask yesterday. but you already had an answer in mind about it.

"since i was seven years old," his eyebrows widen and jaw agape with your answer.

"seven?! i thought i was early when i started playing at nine." his reply earns chuckles from you before you purse your lips, eyes looking away from him for a bit as you gather your childhood memories with drums from your mind's filing cabinet.

"in a way, it's earlier than that." your hands rested on his chest, the stick between his skin and your palm as you leaned a bit closer to him.

"i joined a marching band corps when i was in kindergarten. i wanted to do the xylophone, but the slots are all filled. so they move me to the colour guard position. you know, those who twirl the coloured flags," both of your hands move to hold the drumstick in them, twirling it around like you are holding the flag pole. "after training with it for two weeks, the instructor suddenly tells the team that they are one short in snare drum. so i volunteered and played a snare drum in the marching band. we actually won a few regional championships—whenever there's a kindergarten level for them, of course."

jaeyun watches as your hand holding the stick moves once again into a grip he recognises as the traditional grip. the palm facing upwards instead of down as you play with it, feeling the tip of the stick brush his skin as you mimic how you drum back then.

"i took a liking in playing it. then i had to graduate kindergarten and my parents notice me liking it so much. so on my seventh birthday, they give me this mini drum kit for that is child-size in our living room and i swear, they regret the day after because the only thing i wanna do after school is banging some toms and crashes." laughter flies between the two of you as you then continue, "then dad starts to introduce me to the music he listens to. typical dad rock music like rolling stones, ac/dc, and toto. but i got addicted. and yeah, that's how i became a full-fledged drummer."

"you have more flight hours than me in drumming," he startes as you felt him holding onto your waist, "that you are so confident in playing prog rock that when i saw that fucking rush's tom sawyer notation, i swear i was baffled." jaeyun's hands pulls you into his embrace once again, making your chest rest against each other as you felt how his touch turns to tickles.

"i have to hear you play it. better yet, can you teach me?" you lightly tapped against his chest, licking your lips while holding in from showing a wide smile—which you fail to do.

"hey! you're also familiar with odd time signatures, baby," the nickname came out unexpectedly. but then you felt him wrap his arms behind you, to bring you closer. now chin to chin, you still held your head up to look into his eyes, feeling him shaking his head side to side.

"tom sawyer and fucking rosanna are a different beast than what i play, baby," he echoes the nickname to you as you roll your eyes playfully. a pout forming on your face as you look back at him. then all of the muscles on your face relax as you take a huge breath with a long exhale.

leaning down, you rested your head against the crook of his neck. the free hand moved behind him as the other grips onto the drumstick that now rested on the pillow beside his head. jaeyun heard the little sobs coming from you, making him move his hand to your shoulder blades. you tugged him closer, bridging the gaps between the two of you as you let the night bring you anywhere you both want. any conversation opened for both of you, and you both know that you won't let this moment down, even if sleep reminds you multiple times.

-

"you two are lucky i have made several sketches for drums." those are the first words uttered as jaeyun spoke to soobin, the tattoo artist you both got assigned to for your walk-in session.

your hisses continue as you watch the blond-haired tattoo artist finish the stencil pressed on your right inner forearm. the ink colour blooming against your skin as your left hand grips onto jaeyun's right hand that already has his matching tattoos inked in the same position. the tattoo of the drum kit with smooth lines as jaeyun has his kick drum area to be tattooed with the ampersand symbol that strikes through with a hyphen symbol that he had drawn: ampherhyphen's logo. while your kick bass drum has a cursive writing of dawndreamer on it, exactly as the one you have of the kick drum back in your childhood home.

eyes gazing back at jaeyun, his eyes met yours as soobin prepares to wrap your arm with plastic as aftercare. the older boy glances towards jaeyun as he nods, "all done. you know your tattoo aftercare." he tilts his hand towards the full-sleeve tattoo that he asks jaeyun about and how great it looks. "show your girl what to do with it too."

"got it, mate," he replied as you both stood up from the seat. your eyes look at the fresh tattoo etched on your skin that is so vivid as you glance back at the tattoo artist, giving a curt nod as a thank you, as he also nods his head.

with your tattooed right arm connecting its fingers with his tattooed left arm, you both walked down downtown haeyang for the last time. both of you are on standby for sunghoon's chat when you are ready to go and celebrate the ending of the tour. but you also need your closure, and when you found the familiar street, you let out a sigh as you took every step forward with confidence.

standing at the corner of the four-way intersection, your eyes are burning with tears as jaeyun notices—his fingers wrapping tighter around you to let you remember that you are not alone. that he sees you. that he understands you.

"hi gaeul, ningning, tsuki…" you started, eyes focused on the very middle of the intersection where all of the streets come together. a tear slipped out from the corner of your eyes as you remembered your crashed car, but in front of it, you see three apparitions appear before you. all are wearing the clothes you remember, all wearing their guitars and bass across their chest like you always see them when you all jam out.

"i hope you're proud of me…" you nodded your head as you spoke, holding still on the confirmation as you felt the heavy weight you were carrying on your shoulders tumbling down. turning your head to face jaeyun, he had already watched you with a reassuring smile. you reciprocate as you press your forehead on his.

"i, i don't know what to do after this," you said to him, truly. after the conversation you had last night, opening up about everything to the last thing about the impromptu matching drum kit tattoos with your respective bands, the aftermath of this tour lingers in your head because of sudden separation after being with him—being with them—for so long.

"you still have college to do, right?" jaeyun speaks slowly before as he feels you move your head in nods. "i also have mine to finish," he lightly bites his lip before continuing, "but i will get back to you all the time. i will drive to pick you up and bring you with me. therapy, gigs, concerts to watch, i will be with you in the entire journey."

a small gasp comes from you as you brought your arms behind his figure and presses him against you in a tight and warm hug, letting his shoulder become a place to cry on as you let out such many sobs—pushing all those feelings out as your eyes gaze back at the intersection, seeing the ghosts of your best friends all smiling at you. your lips brush against his ear.

"thank you, jaeyun, for making me realise i am not fully alone"

you lean back as the boy looks at you with such an endearing smile, his thumb brushing the fallen tear trailing down the apple of your cheek as he nodded and mouthed back a "thank you to you too." he brought his hand to connect back with yours when your ringtone rings at the same time, the sound coming from the group chat as jaeyun lifted his phone and show you the notification of sunghoon telling you all to gather around so you all can go to where you will be celebrating.

nodding in agreement, you let him take the lead to bring you back to your friends. yet, you still turn your head back to look at the intersection, finding the hazy apparition of your friends smiling back at you before they fade away as they move on—and you have to do so too. pivoting back to see jaeyun looking back at you, you let out such a wide smile as you take steps to stand beside him so you could walk together. leaving haeyang and this chapter of your life as you walk on to a healing path with jaeyun beside you—celebrating his band, all of the work, and your relationship that is getting richer and richer than the sound of drums playing in a crescendo.

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