Imagine being Sushena. You have this nice, steady job in Lanka's royal palace. Sure your boss is kind of a nutcase when it comes to beautiful women, and sure he's kind of arrogant, but he's a good administrator, a knowledgeable leader, and an experienced warrior.
So one day, as usual, he finds a pretty lady and kidnaps her, and pretty lady's warrior hubby comes over to wage war, and your valiant crown prince knocks the offending human down a few pegs with one strike to his brother – fairly standard fare, even if your kingdom nearly burnt down once or twice. Whatever. Your job is to brew medicine.
And THEN, a goddamed creature lifts your whole goddamned house, and takes you over to that TRAITOR ™️ Vibhishan, who asks you to heal the goddamned enemy. What the hell.
Well, you are a loyal, upright man, not a chameleon that wears a different colour everyday. You say as much to Vibhishan's stricken face, because honestly? To hell with that guy.
And then, the most beautiful man you have ever seen shows up clutching the angriest unconscious man you've ever seen, and opens his beautiful mouth to give you a heartfelt speech about medical ethics that is so long you agree to treat his brother as long as he would just STOP. All this philosophical mush is giving you hives.
Ugh. Whatever.
Anyway weirdo flying thingy brings back an entire mountain, somehow meeting beautiful man's – who you learn is Rama – brother and subduing the goddamned sun along the way, because why not. You're dreaming, because things this night stopped making sense a long time ago and you're too old and grey-haired to be worrying.
Whatever.
They return you to Lanka and that's all that matters.
Then Ravana throws you into the dungeons for betraying him, but he soon dies and Vibhishan is crowned king, so now you are extracted from your cell and stuck serving that TRAITOR ™️ because apparently he's your king now.
Well, at least you will have many exciting stories to tell your grandchildren.
Whatever.
